just some explenations in advance
The yagya described in this chapter is a yagya described in the Ramayana named the Putrakamesti yagya. Through that sacrifice Dasratha fathered Ram, Bharata, Lakshmana and Satrughana. The exact process of this sacrifice is not known to me, but I read an article that the content of the sacrifice changed over the years amongst royal families. It became a ''well guarde'd secret" that daughter-in-laws of influent families had to sleep with either the priest or someone chosen by him to father her children, if her husband was not able to.
In 'Eklavya-the royal guard' this 'ritual' is mentioned in the beginning of the movie. Even the quote at the beginning is mentioned in the film and I loved it so much I included it here too. You can say that this part is quite influenced by the movie.
Do forgive me if i have mentioned something that is not true or if you think I have portrayed the ritual or anything else as it not should be portrayed. i have used things in this chapter that I have read a long time ago in article(s) and somehow remembered with only dramatic and creative purposes.
Do ignore mistakes, please. Writing a full fledged update in English, that wasnt that good to begin with, after such a long time proved to be more difficult than usual.
Love,
ME
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Part e
Dharma matibhya udhgritha
(dharma originates from the mind)
- Bhishma, Mahabharata-
He knew he had no other option. These people were his lord and master. They had given him shelter after his father had been killed when ambushed while travelling back with Humayun (father of Akbar the Great), after his exile from Persia. These people had taken him into their house when his father never returned, when his mother spent her last breath waiting for him, when his elder sister chose to leave with a soldier, leaving a six year old boy behind to fend for himself. Today the mother of that family had asked him for something. And he couldn't refuse, could he? She had fed him with her own hands, knowing that he wasn't of the same religion. They had given him a new name, a new identity to protect him from the orthodox and zealous villagers. She had taken him in her warm embrace when he cried for his parents and his small familiar home, or when her son had made fun of him as he limped through their gardens after he broke his leg, tending to the tender plants that grew under his loving care. He was indebted to the mistress of the mansion who had been his everything for a very long time. And today, when she was breathing her last, she had made a request, for the first time.
It wasn't a selfless act. He had made a deal too. His adoptive sister, Manu, the girl he had looked after ever since he had found her as desolate as he had been left behind, needed immediate treatment. She was as casteless as he was and therefore there was no one in town willing to even touch her, let alone treat her. In return for his 'services' the best medicine man of the large town nearby would treat her infected wound. Thus he was tied for an indefinite time to a woman he didn't know and probably didn't even like, thankfully without anyone knowing about his role in this entire act.
He had seen her before; of course he had seen her. Whenever she had come to pluck flowers for her morning prayers. Or whenever she entered the garden for a leisured stroll. As modesty demanded her veil had covered her face at all times. He never really knew what to think of the woman. She was the daughter of a rich man. People said she drove her husband to alcohol and other women, because she had no interest in the man she had married. It had been her job to direct her husband on the right path, but she had failed.
His hands shook when he placed it on the wooden door. The image of Shanta flashed through his mind. Though she had never answered his subtle advances towards her, she liked him. She didn't need to say it out loud. It was evident in the hooded glances directed towards him and the soft flutter of her eyelashes.
He didn't need these thoughts right now. Devdatta shook his head to clear his head of all the wandering thoughts, he took a deep breath and forwarded towards the small shack in the back of the garden that was secluded by large trees and bushes. He had been ordered to build the house a month ago, before he even knew what purpose it would serve and what his role would be in the entire charade.
Devdatta lightly tapped on the door. He didn't hear a noise, but he saw the soft glow of light shining under the door. The shack was normally abandoned. No one had entered it until five days ago. And the only one who could be in the shack was the younger ma'am for sure.
He knocked again. A soft, quivering voice called him inside. With hesitations slowing him down, Devdatta entered the shack and saw the back of the woman, covered from head to toe to protect her from wandering eyes.
'I am here ma'am. At your service.' Devdatta said as humbly as possible. Her head moved slightly, acknowledging his presence. She didn't move at all. Devdatta was rooted to his spot too as the uncomfortable situation finally was supposed to reach it culmination point. He dropped his gaze, an old and ingrained habit of respect, set in by fear at a young age.
He didn't move at all, nor did he lift his eyes when he saw her move.
'I am to be inspected by the priest and his wife in the morning.' He lifted his gaze when she finally spoke after long minutes and received the shock of his life. The daughter-in-law of his employers, the woman he had never seen up close because she was shielded from everyone, the woman whose face he had never even seen because decorum prescribed she should cover herself, had taken off every scrap of fabric from her body with her own two hands and sat down on the cot that was the focal point of the room. She tilted her head haughtily towards him.
'You know you will be punished if they don't find any evidence ofā¦..of you.' She glared at him.
Bile rose in his throat as Devdatta looked at the woman in front of him. She had noticed his posture, which indicated that he was ready to flee any time. He never felt lowlier when he undressed himself, readying himself for the act he was supposed to perform. And never did he dress more hurriedly than when he was done with what he counted as the most shameful moment in his entire life. He fled as soon as he was dressed. He didn't catch the haughty woman on the bed cover herself with the bedcovers and bursting out in hot, angry tears of regret, helplessness and humiliation.
**
"You are not needed for the next five days, my dear." The elder mistress had summoned Devdatta to share this piece of information. The old woman sat on her bedding looking frail and a sickly pale. Her skin was almost translucent when a bout of coughs affected her, yet there was a twinkle in her eyes. A twinkle that had returned in her eyes ever since he had agreed to her conditions. She reached for his hand and caressed it slightly.
" I know it has not worked immediately. You can't predict a woman's body. But you have made me a happy woman, my dear. Even more, because I know that my daughter-in-law and her honour will be safe in your hands. You will never let this secret out in the open. Devdatta couldn't even look the woman in her eyes as he remembered the night before. With his own hands he had touched someone who was the daughter-in-law of his employer, the woman who was as close as a mother ever since his own mother had passed away.
"The medicine man has agreed to look after your sister. The wound on her back is being treated. That is what you wanted, wasn't it?"
Devdatta nodded." Can I visit her for a while?'
"Sure you can, my dear. Rama will not be able to receive you for the next couple of days, so it will be best if you go and see your sister the next few days.
He bowed in front of his mistress and backed out of the room. The sick woman lay down and closed her eyes with a content smile on her lips.
***
"You aren't doing anything wrong are you?' Manu lay down on her stomach.
"It is fine. Don't worry." She said exasperated when her brother thoroughly inspected the wound that had started out as a small cut but grew quickly, covered in a green paste. She smiled when he patted her head affectionately and fed her a piece of fruit. Though she was already fifteen years old and a lot smarter than he would like to know, Devdatta still insisted on treating her like a small child.
"Are you doing something wrong?"
"No."
She arched an eyebrow at him. "Then how did you get them to treat me when they weren't even ready to touch me before? Are you sure you aren't doing anything wrong. The emperor's laws aren't very forgiving towards criminals these days. " She said in her all-knowing voice.
He smiled a small smile at her. With all the conviction he could muster Devdatta answered her question. "I am not doing anything against the law."
He didn't want to think about whether what he was doing was morally right or wrong. "You shouldn't worry about me, you are not my mother." He reminded her for the umpteenth time. "I am supposed to worry about you!"
Devdatta helped his sister tie the knot of her dress and sit up straight in bed. She winced in pain when he helped her and he knew again that he had taken the right decision. Manu needed this treatment and he could do anything for her.
5 days later
The elder mistress summoned Devdatta as soon as he was back from his stay in the ashram.
" Rama will wait for you tonight in the back of the garden again." He nodded as his heart was beating in his throat. He had never asked whether the younger ma'am had passed the inspection.
"Make sure no one sees you again my son." The older mistress instructed before she closed her eyes again.
Thus Devdatta found himself in the garden, trying to hide himself from all wandering eyes in the darkness. He stood still in front of the shack he had built at the end of the estate, near the streaming beak. Devdatta stepped inside the shack and immediately someone locked the door outside. He rambled the sturdy wooden construction, but it didn't give. He turned around and saw a small frame huddled on the cot. He couldn't go away now so he decided to catch a few winks himself, on the floor, and wondered who else knew about this arrangement.
"You should have awoken me.' Devdatta heard a voice reprimand him. He blinked a few times, trying to figure out his surroundings. Of course, he was in the shack. It was still pitch dark outside. A torch burned in the shack illuminating the enclosed space. The younger mistress looked at him as she removed her veil.
'I'm sorry ma'am.' Devdatta lowered his eyes.
'You didn't have to sleep on the floor.'
'The door was locked ma'am. I couldn't go back.'
'You could have shared the bed.' The younger mistress said. He didn't say anything. Just waited for the next order.
'How is your sister doing?'
'She is fine.'
'You should inform mother if she isn't being treated right.'
'I will.'
'You can sleep on the bed.' She ordered and turned her back towards him. He lay down, carefully so he wouldn't touch her. It was well past midnight when he fell asleep, thinking about his sister, the elder mistress, the baby he was supposed to provide and the cold woman next to him who probably didn't care whether or not he felt wrenched and lowly. She didn't even explain why she was sleeping right now when she had to provide the family with an heir as soon as possible.
**
Rama closed her eyes. She knew he must wonder why she had turned her back towards him, but he was still their servant and he couldn't question her. She was glad he couldn't. The marks her husband had left on her body yesterday were still smarting.
**
Days had passed in the same fashion. Devdatta came inside the shack and almost magically the door closed on the outside. The younger mistress was asleep most of the time when he entered and the Devdatta had no option but to do as was told to him, or was expected from him without demanding any answers about the unusual arrangements and the cold and indifferent treatment he received that made him feel less than an unwanted animal.
**
'Son. You know that the sooner Rama will conceive a child, the better it will be.' The older mistress' subtle warning still echoed in his ears as he left her chambers. The pain in his foot worsened. He had always limped. Everyone knew how he had hurt his leg. Everyone knew of the younger master's treatment towards him, but no one dared to say anything. The frail man had been jealous of the tall young boy around him and had used his superior position whenever he wanted.
Devdatta watered the saplings he had arranged in clay pots the day before. They were supposed to be pretty pink flowers he had seen along the road one day and carefully dug out of the dirt. They would be used in religious functions and he needed to be very careful with them. Humming under his breath he cherished the only moment he could forget what was happening around him. Devdatta had accepted a long time ago that these plants, these unspeaking creatures of God were the only living beings that didn't judge him for his lack of family background, or for his physical conditions. They just coexisted peacefully with him. The only thing they demanded were some tender love and care, not a compromise with his morality or his own ideologies.
Devdatta weeded the small bushes when he heard a soft sob behind a tree. He knew there was a bench behind the tree, but no one used that bench besides himself. Devdatta brushed the dirt off his hands and knees as he straightened out the kinks that had formed in his back and neck while bending over the ground, by stretching his limbs. He managed to walk softly towards the tree where he saw her back. The younger mistress. She was hurled on the bench, her knees draw and supporting her head. Devdatta strained his eyes to hear the words spoken in between the soft sobs.
'I cant do this Lord. Please help me.' She sobbed. 'I cant sleep with him again. I feel so dirty. Please help me. I don't want to do this.'
She felt dirty. Just the words filled him with an uncontrollable rage. As if he agreed to do this because it amused him. As if he wasn't affected by all of this.
The anger didn't diminish when he met her that night. Like always she was lying on the cot with her back towards him. Like most of the nights she didn't speak a word to him. And for the first time he spoke first, without asking for permission.
'The elder mistress called me today.'
' I know.' She answered simply and sat up and tugged on the strings on her back that held her blouse together and let it slide down her slender arms. Devdatta smiled cruelly at her and walked down to the cot. But instead of the touch Rama anticipated she felt the cold wind causing the tiny hairs rise on her arms. She glanced back and found the man lying on his side.
'I don't want to make you feel dirty againā¦ma'am.' Devdatta said before he closed his eyes.
Rama held on to her tears with all her might, wrapped the covers around her and lay back on the cot.
**
Rama avoided the garden as much as possible. She didn't find any solace there anymore. She felt eyes prick in her back constantly. Every time she met a servant she wondered whether they knew where she went in the night. Whether they knew that she was just a body, to be used to continue the family line. She was being punished because her husband couldn't have children and showed no interest in her. No one asked her anything, they just ordered. And Rama didn't know how to tell Devdatta that he didn't make her feel dirty. It was the situation that made her feel used and dirty. Rama stayed in her chambers the entire day with her maid and confidant. Only she knew about Rama's feelings.
'Ma'am, the younger master is in town.' A man informed her from behind the curtains.
'When will he visit me?'
'In seven days.'
He was spending his time with the new courtesan in town. Whenever he would get bored of her he would come home and force his presence on his wife.
**
It had been more than two months since the arrangement between Devdatta and the elder mistress had been made. He had been ordered not to visit the shack for the last five days. The younger master had been in residence. Of course the younger mistress had to perform some duties towards her dear husband too, wouldn't she? And that would not make her feel dirty. Her husband was a descendent of royal kings. She wouldn't dare to be the haughty woman she was with mere a servant. But today he was needed again. And just like any other servant he had been summoned again to perform duties as required. No matter how sickening those services were.
Devdatta entered the dimly lightened shack again. She was standing in the soft light of the torch, her back towards him. As usual he just lay down on the bed and waited for sleep to take over. He felt her weight on the bed too and heard her wince when she lay down. It was a painful wince, a wince he could not ignore. He turned towards her and slowly lifted the veil that covered her back. Pushing the fabric of her blouse away his eyes widened in horror when he saw angry, thin red marks on her back. Rama sat up immediately. 'How dare you touch me without permission?!' She demanded to know.
Devdatta didn't answer; defying everything he had learned in his life about being a servant. He demanded the answer to a question of his own. 'Who did this to you?'
'That is none of your concern!' Rama reprimanded him strictly. 'Keep quiet and go to sleep!'
'Who did this to you?!" Devdatta demanded to know.
' Do not forget who you are and whom you are speaking to!' She scrambled off the cot and stood in a corner of the room, glaring defiantly at him.
Devdatta wasn't intimidated, not by her. He got of the cot himself and walked towards her. For the first time he could see her face clearly illuminated by the torch that burned next to her. She was so young, barely even a woman, a frightened young woman who was trapped in a situation she had no control over. Her large eyes spat fire, but her dry lips trembled, as did her thin, unhealthy body. Devdatta pushed the veil of her shoulder and discovered another thin angry mark that ended in a blister.
'Don't touch me!' she tried to push him away, but she was no match for him.
He captured one wrist in his calloused hand and stared at her face.
'Did your husband do this?'
'How dare you accuse my husband!'
'That is not an answer to my question.'
' I don't need to answer you!' She declared.
'That bas***d did this to you, didn't he.' Devdatta hissed under his breath. 'He beat you yesterday didn't he?'
Rama didn't answer. Instead she looked at the man who was holding her wrist in a tight grip.
'You do know whom you are accusing, don't you?' She mumbled.
Devdatta didn't listen to her reprimanding anymore. He needed to see where the scars ended. Gently turning her around he pried the heavy fabric of her back. She winced every time he uncovered another scar. The blisters ran down to her waist.
'How could he do this?' Devdatta mumbled, more to himself than expecting any answers.
' You, of all people, shouldn't feel the need to ask that.' He heard Rama speak, without reprimanding, or ordering him. She spoke in a gentle voice that couldn't hide the pain she was feeling.
' What do you mean?'
'Didn't he used to hit you too?'
'A long time ago.'
'Until you grew taller than him and would be able to hit him back, would you wish to do so?'
Devdatta didn't answer, but guessed she was right. Although Devdatta would never hit his master, his muscular built that came from working outdoors and his tall height was imitating for the frail man who had needed his mother's pampering and the servants care his entire life.
'You should tell the elder mistress.'
Rama strained her neck to look the tall man in the eye. She knew his forefathers were foreigners and his height was a telltale sign.
'Do you think she doesn't know?"
She turned around, clutching her blouse to her chest. Her eyes weren't harsh or cold, nor did they ask him a question. They just told her that she had learnt some harsh truths in her life. Harsh truths that had taken away the innocence that should have been a part of her youth.
'You should sleep.' Devdatta said softly. He made her lie down on her stomach, her angry wounds still a thorn in his eyes, but he couldn't do anything about them. The only thing he could offer her now was some help and rest. She sighed as she closed her eyes. 'Are you still in pain?'
She shook her head. 'No.' She lied bravely.
**
' You told mother, didn't you?' Rama stood in front of him the next evening. Her hands were perched on her hips and her eyes were blazing fire.
'No I did not.' Devdatta denied confidently. 'She was asking me why her wishes weren't fulfilled yet. And I told her the reason.'
'Which was?'
'I can't touch a woman who is covered in bruises and blisters.'
Rama gasped. 'You shouldn't have done that.' She said with tears brimming in her eyes.
' Why?"
' It hurts her to see me like this. But she can't do anything about it! He is my husband. He can do as he pleases! And you don't understand how it must hurt him to send me off toā¦'
'Finish your sentence.' Devdatta looked at her. Rama just turned around and walked towards the small opening in the wall of the shack that functioned as a tiny window. 'Finish it!' she didn't respond.
'You know you cant. Because you know that he has been doing this since the day you met. And you are still covering up for him!' Devdatta forcibly turned her to face him.
' He doesn't have the right to treat you like an animal.'
A thin smile formed on Rama's lips. There was no twinkle in her eyes though.
' Are you sure I'm notā¦an animal I mean. Wasn't I meant to be here and keep quiet, while performing all the tricks a married woman is supposed to? Wasn't I meant to keep quiet while her husband entertained himself with all the women around him, be it the maids he forced himself on, or the courtesans he paid? Wasn't I supposed to prevent myself from screaming every time he hit me or flogged me? The harder I used to scream the longer the beating. Wasn't I meant to accept everything and provide the family with an heir? If it isn't with a child she begets from her husband then cast her off to another man. As long as she keeps quiet and does what she is supposed to do. You see: I am an animal. I can't laugh or cry on my own. I can't think for myself. I am not supposed to feel pain or sorrow. I am just supposed to breathe and to breed. Nothing else.'
'Smiling about it doesn't right a wrong.'
The smile vanished instantly. Instead a painfully fragile vulnerability nestled in her eyes. 'Maybe it doesn't. But it makes it easier to live, to just breath everyday. I cant survive otherwise.'
Devdatta's hand moved involuntarily towards her face. He ran his thumb slightly along her cheek. After a long time he had felt the need to protect someone besides his sister. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and shield her from everything, knowing that it wasn't his place. The only thing he could do was press his lips softly to her brow and wrap his arms around her, minding the smarting injuries on her body.
' You don't need to do this. I know you hate me and what you are supposed to do.' She mumbled.
Devdatta didn't let go of her. Instead he only held her closer, wondering why his contempt for her had changed into concern. Wondering when the lines between right and wrong had faded. It didn't feel wrong as before.
He felt Rama's hands on his back teo. She leaned into him, resting her cheek against his chest. A betraying wetness revealed her innermost state. She wasn't as stonehearted and cold as she pretended to be. She needed a shoulder to cry on. She had not turned into an animal yet. And Devdatta wouldn't let her.
**
Rama lay down on her back. After nearly two weeks the blisters had gone away, making her everyday life just a bit more comfortable. She laughed out loud when she saw Devdatta come into the shack with a sour face.
'It is not amusing.' He grumbled.
'Yes, it is.' Rama kept laughing. 'It was just one flower. And the gesture was quite romantic. '
'He stole it from the garden.' Devdatta limped to cot and sat down at the edge.
Her smile vanished immediately. 'Does it hurt?'
'What?'
'Your foot?'
'Just a little.' He answered truthfully and rubbed his knee.
'I'll have him punished.' Rama declared with all the authority she possessed as the daughter-in-law of the mansion. 'The cook shouldn't have stolen that flower.'
It was Devdatta who smiled this time.
'You said that it was quite a romantic gesture to give that golden flower to the maid?'
' The cook made you run behind him.'
'I ran behind him because I wanted to. He did not force me.' Devdatta explained.
'Still. He should have known that he couldn't take the flower without your permission. I saw how much trouble you went through to grow that flower on foreign soil.'
'It is still, just a flower. You mustn't punish him. I will make sure there will grow more.'
'But they were so special. You loved them so much.'
Devdatta lay down on the cot, staring at the ceiling. A trader had sold him a tiny branch brought from the country his father had lived in during emperor Humayun's exile. The flowers from the branches were supposed to be golden in colour, radiating a sweet, captivating fragrance. Over the years the small bush had not sprouted one bud, until two weeks ago. A small golden yellow flower blossomed on a branch and it had been his pride and joy, until today when the cook declared his undying love to one of the maids by dropping himself on his knees and presenting her the same flower. He jumped right up when he saw Devdatta running behind him with a bamboo stick in his hand, aiming to throw it at the man. The cook ran for his dear life. And the maid stood in her spot, hating Devdatta for spoiling the most romantic moment of her life. Come to think of itā¦.Devdatta burst out laughing. It had been a comical scene.
Seeing the expressions on his face, Rama thought deeply for a while, until she found him burst out laughing at the happenings that day. Eventually she couldn't control herself anymore too. After a long time tears of joy rolled down both of their cheeks, forgetting everything around them. She turned to look at himā¦ā¦Carefree and full of joy, no contempt for her. No worries about his sister plaguing him. Just a cheerful young man, who, for just a moment, loved his life immensely.
Rama had not noticed herself staring at the elated face. Nor had she realised that the laughter had stopped and a strong arm had draped itself around her waist, skimming his hand along her body like a sculptor moulded his most precious piece of art.
Devdatta intently gazed at the woman next to him. She didn't protest when he ran his thumb over her soft, trembling lips. She didn't protest either when the physical distance between the both of them diminished, just like the mental barriers had broken down in the past two weeks.
'It isn't this simple anymore.' Rama whispered to him.
Devdatta nodded as his lips touched hers gently. 'I know.'
***
'I don't want a child.' Rama sighed nestling herself in a warm embrace while her. Devdatta drew the almost transparent bedclothes around her, shielding her body from a chilling wind that blew through the corners of the tiny hidden shack.
'Why?'
'I wont be able to see you anymore after the last condition of the yagya is fulfilled.
Devdatta cupped her cheek tenderly tilting her head slightly so he could look into her eyes. 'We always had limited time. Six full moons was the prediction of the priest. It would take six full moons for you to become a mother.' He said sadly. 'Nothing more than that.'
It didn't take long before Rama felt tears roll down her cheeks. She buried her face in the crook of Devdatta's neck, trying to hide her sorrow. Calloused fingers softly stroke her bare back.
'It will be all right.'
**
Two months later.
'Devā¦'
'Hmm.'
Rama sighed as she felt large fingers wander through the loose strands of her hair.
' I am pregnant.' Rama smiled ruefully as she hovered over Devdatta, supporting herself on her elbows. She had just come in, later than usual, and thrown herself in his arms not knowing whether she wanted him to be happy or distressed.
'Are you sure?'
She nodded and felt herself being rolled over and pinned under his frame. Rama closed her eyes when she felt a soft kiss on her lips. Devdatta's eyes twinkled when she opened her eyes. He placed a large hand on her stomach. 'Our child.'
'Yes.' And suddenly Rama saw another side to their situation. This would be their child. She was carrying a child inside her who was created with love and care. For the time being tension left her body as she relaxed in his hold.
'Rama, Did you tell anyone? ' Devdatta asked her.
'Not yet. I wanted you to be the first one to know. The moment they will find out I wont be able to meet you anymore. It will be over. I just want to have a few days more with you.'
**
'Your daughter-in-law is expecting ma'am.' The short man said triumphantly. 'Six full moons are yet to come and she is expecting already.' The only thing that was missing in this display of his own qualities was the priest beating his own chest and shout out his right predictions. So what if he didn't get a chance to impregnate the pretty young woman himself. The heavy fee he would receive now would more than make up for that loss.
' Have you examined her?'
' I have ma'am.' He bowed in front of the frail, sick woman. 'I have examined her. It has been more than a month. The good news is that she is looking every happy and healthy and she will be able to give this family a strong and healthy heir.'
The old woman was thoughtful. More than a month, and her daughter-in-law had not known. And the priest had announced that she was happy and healthy? Hadn't her son visited his wife two days ago? She never was happy after his visits. How could she be happy now? What had changed?
Devdatta paced the small space in the shack. Rama wasn't here yet and he grew more anxious with every passing second. Did something happen? He had not seen her through her usual round in the garden.
Devdatta walked out of the small shack, up the path that led to the mansion where almost every torch had already been extinguished.
Someone's rustling in the bushes of the garden alerted him. It was Rama's maid who only confirmed his suspicion. Rama had told him that her maid was the only one who knew the details of the arrangement 'They know about the child.' She whispered softly.
' And I am not needed anymore.' Devdatta smiled gloomily
**
'Dev.' someone whispered. 'Dev.'
There was only one person who called him that. It had been more than three months since he had seen a glimpse of Rama. She had been ordered to stay in her room for the entire pregnancy so no one could cast an evil spell on the child and no harm would befall on Rama. But both of them knew that there was a conscious effort made to keep Rama far away from Devdatta.
Dev.
Devdatta strained his eyes when he looked up towards the balcony of the mansion. It was dark. She was standing on the unused stairs at the back of the house. He looked around; making sure no one saw him he climbed up the stairs. His limp was not helping him maintain his balance as he nearly slipped on the stairs.
Dev, be careful! '
Ramas heart beat wildly. She had dreamt horrible dreams. Dreams where she would find Dev in the shack, beaten, like she had been beaten many times before. Other times she had dreamt that she had never met the Dev she knew, but it was a trick played by her husband to make her more miserable, to make her believe that there were no good people in the world. There were only people like himself. At other times she would find Devs cold body laying somewhere and their child would be next to him. Dead.
Horrible dreams would wake her up and she would long to see her Dev again, but she couldn't. She had to beg and plead to her maid, who excused her freighting dreams as an effect of her pregnancy, to help her today, after 5 months, to see Dev. Even if it was for just a short while.
Devdatta made his way to the top of the stairs as fast as he could. Rama pulled him behind her in the dark, running towards an unused room. She closed the door behind her and flew into his arms.
'You are all right.' She mumbled.
'You really are all right.' Her hands touched him, his face, and his chest, wanting to believe that her dreams were not true.
'I am all right.' Devdatta assured her as he pulled her back in his arms, kissing her deeply until their bones melted. His hands skimmed her body, noticing the changes that came with her pregnancy and rested them on the large bump. 'Our child.'
Rama nodded. 'Yes, our child.'
Right in the dark Devdatta led Rama to a bench where she let her head rest in his lap.
'I was so scared. I wanted to see you for such a long time.' She confessed.
'I had the worst dreams about you.'
'I was scared too.' Devdatta didn't let go of her stomach. 'I heard the younger master was about to come home.'
'He hasn't come.' Rama said.
'What if he will?"
'He will not hit me. If he tries to harm me or my child I willā¦'
Devdatta held her tightly in his arms.
'How is your sister?'
'She is fine. She will be home by next month.'
A long silence stretched itself until Devdatta had the nerve to say what he had wanted to say all these months.
'Ramaā¦.lets run away.'
'What?" Rama sat up and looked at him.
' I met the younger master yesterday in the village. The look he had in his eyesā¦..' Devdatta shivered remembering the anger and fire he had seen in the tiny man.
'He knows I am the man his mother chose.' Devdatta said as he cupped her cheek. 'I had this awful feeling when he looked at me. He will do something.'
Rama smiled. 'He wont, he cant. No matter what happens, his mother will rein him in. He wants this estate more than anything. One word from her and he will lose all. And she wants this child more than anything.'
Rama explained while she softly stroked her protruded stomach.
'Don't worry.' Rama placed his hand on her stomach. 'I will do anything to protect our child.'
Devdatta sighed. 'But I wont be able to protect you or our baby. And I might not be able to protect you like I might have been able too.' He said as he rubbed his hurt leg.
Even before Rama could say anything both of them got startled by the knocking on the door.
'Ma'am, the guard is coming. Come quickly.'
Hurriedly Rama got up. 'I need to go.' She turned towards the door when Devdatta grabbed her hand, quickly pressed a soft kiss on it and touched her stomach slightly.
'Go quickly.' He helped her outside the door and watched her move towards her quarters with the help of her maid. Devdatta stayed in the room until he saw her disappear along with the faint light that came from the torches the guards carried.
He quietly left the room when he thought it was safe. As he moved towards his small shack of the premises of the large mansion he heard some of rustling above him. Just a glance confirmed that Rama was watching him until he reached his house safely.
**
One month later.
'Devdatta!' Devdatta looked up and saw the cook running towards him.
'The younger mistress has delivered a little girl. We are all getting a free meal and clothes in the kitchen.' The cook panted, but his heavy breathing couldn't disguise the snort. 'If she would have delivered a boy we surely would have received some money.'
'It's a girl?' Devdatta mumbled. ' A girlā¦a girl.'
' I am going towards the kitchen, come with me you will get something too.'
Devdatta declined with a mumble, turned away towards his shack where his sister was stirring something. He didn't even reprimand her for working instead of resting. Stunned by the news that he had a child, a daughter, their daughter Devdatta ignored his sister's questioning and left towards the village temple where he prayed for the well-being of the woman he loved and their child, while crying tears of sheer joy.
**
Manu looked at her brother, limping on the rocky road that led to their house. 'Where have you been, the sun has already set.' She complained as he entered the house.
'Nowhere.' Devdatta washed his hands and feet before he entered the house.
'Then why did you run off? The elder mistress had summoned you.'
'Me?' Devdatta quickly turned towards the mansion.
'Have a bite to eat before you go.' Manu shouted after him.
'I'll just be back.'
Hoping to get one glimpse from Rama and their child, Devdatta stepped inside the chambers that belonged to the elder mistress.
'You summoned me ma'am?' Devdatta bowed slightly. The woman lay on her soft bed, coughing until she could sit up and radiate some authority.
'Devdatta come in and close the door.'
Devdatta did as was told to him and received nothing less than a decree.
'I want you to leave today.'
'What?! Why?!' Devdatta sputtered immediately. 'Ma'am Iā¦'
'I know about the both of you Devdatta.' The woman announced. ' I entrusted my daughter-in-law to you because I thought she would be safe.' The woman struggled for breath as the anger prevailed in her voice. 'And what did I get in return? You betrayed my trust?!"
'How did I betray you trust?!' Devdatta demanded to know, angering the woman even more.
'You crossed your limits before and you are crossing them again!' The elder mistress reprimanded him.
'You are forgetting the fact that she is my son's wife. And now all the women in the house know she shouted your name and her love for you during the delivery. She has made a laughing stock of the entire family. Of my son.'
'And you would rather have her beaten up by your son than being happy.' Devdatta answered not even surprised. After all, he was the servant. Blood was thicker than water. Loyalty didn't matter, love didn't matter. Not even the morsels of food she had lovingly fed him counted now.
'How dare you say that!'
'What? That Rama loves me and I love her. I have never been scared of telling the truth. But out of loyalty I have ignored a lot of things. Like your son breaking my leg, me slaving of for you, being used by your family like an animal. I have ignored the injustice your family have meted out to the villagers, the vile things your son has done in the village and outside the village. The messes I had to clear up, pay off the families of young girls for letting him ruin their honour. Till a certain extent I have even ignored the scars on Rama's body. But there is one thing I wont be able to ignore and nor will you. That is the fact that the baby born in this house is my child and she is here because of love, not because you simply ordered your daughter-in-law, the 'honour' of your family, to sleep with your servant!' Devdatta ranted.
The woman couldn't say anything except 'get out and stay away from Rama!'
Devdatta left grudgingly. His eyes kept looking at the chambers on the upper floor where the centre of his life was situated right now, but there was no indication of someone being in any of the rooms. Yet he knew, she must be there. Devdatta had noticed the guards coming behind him. They would throw him out if he made any untoward move. And he had Manu to think about. He needed to take his meagre possessions and move away, without even a glimpse of Rama and their child.
Devdatta had not explained anything to Manu. He just started gathering his possessions. She knew instinctively that something was wrong and without asking any questions helped him pack their belongings, until a girl, panting for the lack of oxygen after a huge sprint, knocked on the door gasping with a small bundle in her arms. It was Rama's personal maid.
'Your child.' She handed the small child to Devdatta. 'Take her and leave.'
'What happened?' Devdatta asked worriedly. 'Where is Rama?'
The young girl burst out in tears until Devdatta shook her with one hand and demanded an explanation.
'The younger master has returned, with a prostitute in tow. She is pregnant and the younger master thinks that the child is his.' The girl sobbed.
'That is not possible.' Devdatta shook his head. 'Where is Rama?'
The girl cried out louder when Devdatta clenched his hand around her upper arm. 'Where is she? '
'She was still unconscious when the younger master came home. She was very weak after the delivery. She has lost a lot pf blood, but the younger master ordered everyone not to help her. Not even the elder mistress could persuade him. The master went to ma'am and locked the door from the inside. I ran with the baby. He is going to kill her. My ma'am said to bring the child to you if anything happened.' The girl howled.
'No.' Devdattta shook his head. He turned towards Manu and handed her the child he had not even seen.
'If I haven't returned in thirty minutes you will leave this house and this village and go somewhere far.' Devdatta took a small pouch from a hidden corner in the room and handed it to his sister. 'There is enough money in here to travel somewhere and start a new life. Just take care of my child.'
For the first time Devdatta looked at his child as he kissed her little forehead. She moved her tiny hand, annoyed by the disturbance during her peaceful sleep.
'She looks just like her mother.' Devdatta smiled through his tears, thinking about he times Rama had moved just like that whenever he had disturbed her precious night rest.
Devdatta placed a kiss on his sister's forehead before he half-ran, half-walked towards the mansion, hindered by his bad leg, with the maid following him and trying to prevent him from entering the mansion because she feared for his life.
Devdatta reached the mansion quickly, charged up with adrenaline. He sped up the stairs, opening door after door until he found one that was firmly locked. The only thing he could here were muffled sobs until a man's voice penetrated through the thick door. It was the shrill voice of the younger master. In three tries, his worry and determination to get into the other room helping him, Devdatta got inside the room where he saw the bloodiest scene he had ever witnessed.
Rama was lying on the floor, weak from the delivery, while a frail and small man hovered above her. The younger master, her so-called husband, had a whip in his hands. Rama had not stopped bleeding after her delivery. She was too weak to stop the man from flogging her. She could only whimper his name. 'Dev.'
And every time she moaned his name, the sick man hovering above her lashed out with the whip on the soft skin that, once upon a time, before she met the tyrant, must have been smooth and fair. Throwing the younger master to the wall that was the furthest removed from Rama Devdatta kneeled beside her. He didn't care when the man fell unconsciously on the floor.
'Dev.' She smiled as she felt his tender touch. 'Dev, our child. Have you seen her?'
Devdatta nodded. Salty tears dropped on the floor.
'I have seen her. She is beautiful. She looks like you.'
Rama shook her head. ' She looks like you too. I saw her for a moment.'
'We are leaving now.' Devdatta declared while tried to pick Rama off the floor.
'I am too weak Dev.' Rama protested. 'I have lost too much blood during the delivery and when he hit meā¦.You leave. Take our daughter with you.' she cried softly.
'I cant leave you here. I wont!'
'You need to. I don't want them to come after you. If I stay they will be too busy punishing me. They wont go looking for you.' Rama explained while she smoothed the strands of hair back. 'You know I love you right?' she asked.
Devdatta nodded. 'Because of that love you have to come with me.' Devdatta tried to pick Rama up when he felt a hand around his weak ankle, pulling him down and making him fall on the ground. Rama gasped softly when a fight broke out between the two men.
'Dev, leave! For me! For our child! Go!' Rama said with as much strength as she could gather. Even while both of the men were fighting, Devdatta could only focus on the woman in the room while he was being pushed out into the corridor.
'Rama, hold on!' Devdatta pleaded. "I am coming!' Trying to end the fight Devdatta pushed the frail man out of his way, not noticing the flaming torch he grabbed and held to the wooden interiors of the room until the smoke became thicker and thicker. 'Dev, leave!' Rama pleaded once again. 'I cant come with you, not this time. I am too weak.'
'I am not leaving you behind. You are coming with me!' Devdatta gathered Rama in his arms, not worrying about his weak leg that made it hard to move. The younger master ran as fast as he could from the fire, scared of his own actions. He had set his own house on fire.
Devdatta carried Rama out of the room, hindered by the thick cloud of smoke that hung in the room. Not even the guards of the mansion could slow Devdatta down. The rage in his eyes spoke volumes and none of the guards dared to stop him while he carried the younger mistress, covered in injuries, out of the mansion. Rama's breath got shallower and shallower.
Devdatta hurried to his house. 'Don't you dare die Rama. Don't you dare leave me alone! Not now!' Devdatta shouted to woman in his arms.
Manu didn't understand a thing when her brother carried in the daughter-in-law of her brother's employer into their house. At once the infant in her arms shrieked, making her mother alert of her presence. Devdatta lay Rama down on his cot when he realized how grave her injuries were, how pale she looked and how much blood was still flowing from the delivery.
'I want to hold her Dev.'
Devdatta nodded before he took their child out of the hands of his sister and placed her in Rama's arms. She kissed the small child.
'Promise me.' Rama whispered softly. 'You will do anything to keep her safe, give her a nice home. Promise me you will tell her how much I love her. How much I love you.'
Devdatta didn't react. This promise would be the end. It would give her the permission to stop fighting for every breath she was taking.
'Promise me Jai.'
Manu looked surprised when she heard the name. She was even more surprised when her brother spoke.
'You cant do this, Bani. She needs you. I need you.'
'It hurts too much Jai.' Rama whispered as she gasped for breath, wincing in pain. 'It hurts so much. I don't want to go but I have to.'
She gasped once more, startling their child.
'You will love her Jai, wont you?'
Devdatta nodded. 'I will, just don't go. ' He cried out wrapping his arms around the mother and daughter.
'I would prefer to die like this every time.' Rama whispered before she closed her eyes, placing a soft kiss on both the heads and putting her arm around Devdatta.
She drew her last breath like that.
Manu noticed the horses approach. Shaking her brother out of his misery she pounded his chest and roughly wrenched the infant out of the arms of her brother his deceased love.
'They are coming! We need to leave!'
Devdatta looked at his sister with glazed eyes. 'I can't leave her like this.'
'You need to!' she shouted. 'The guards of the mansion are coming. If we leave now we might survive. She is dead! You cant drag her body along!'
'I can't leave her here.' Devdatta mumbled again.
Manu pinched the little child in her leg. The baby shrieked in agony.
'Think about her! What will they do to her! ' The teenager shouted at her brother. 'You can't get the living killed because of the dead!' Pulling at Devdatta's hand she urged him to stand up. The baby's howl seemed to wake Devdatta from his trance. He took the bundle of clothes he had packed earlier and shoved his sister out of the door. With a last glance directed towards the body on the cot, who smiling contently to her death, Devdatta hurried out of the house with the remainder of his family seeking a place to hide from the guards and the younger master, until they managed to travel out of the village, as far as possible, as quickly as possible. Devdatta took on another identity as he travelled from village to village in search of a place where he would be able to fulfil his promises to Rama and escape the false charges made against him in the village for burning the mansion and murdering the younger mistress, the woman he loved. He raised their daughter and cared for his sister as a new man.
As the aunt of the baby, Manu had the right to choose a name for her niece. She chose one. Bani. She never told Devdatta why she chose that name but he liked it. And he watched Bani grow up to be a sweet girl and a beautiful child like her mother. He regretted a lot of things in his life. Not standing up to his former masters, taking so much time to know Rama, not being there for her during her pregnancy and delivery, leaving her dead body behind and having to live his life without her, but he never regretted his daughter presence in his life, no matter in which circumstances she came into his life, no matter whether Rama and his relationship was accepted or not. To Devdatta his relationship with Rama was what matter, right or not. And he did everything to make his daughter grow up to be the loveliest and happiest woman, even when she had a family of her own, until the day he died. Alone.
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