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A pensive , anxious , guilt-ridden , not knowing how to behave Riddhima stood near the bed like an emotional mannequin. Sid , his face grim and eyes looking at Riddhima , slowly walked up to her - his history with this woman who is now his wife raging in his head - from the slapping machine days to the horrid-horrid-horrid suicide attempt. Etched deeply in his mind and his heart. He goes and stands in front of Riddhima - Riddhima cannot bear to look at him - his accusing gaze , her own guilt of her lethal fault , whatever . It hurt her and shook her to even look at him. She shut her eyes , hoping that the strange pain in her heart and those swimming thoughts in her mind go away..... They didn't. She opened her eyes , only to see Sid picking up a pillow , looking at her stone-cold and going away.
Riddhima , confident and sure enough of her right to question Sid - asks him where is he going? It came naturally to her inspite of all the tension and bad blood between them. That is the kind of comfort level that has seeped between the two that they can question each-other even within these ice walls.
Sid looked at her and flatly told her - To sleep. In the next room. Riddhima understood that he was shutting her out. Her questions stepped back and Sid left the room.
What followed was a reflection of the current state of mind of the two wounded birds. Sid , plagued by the vision of Riddhima committing suicide because she believed that Sid would desecrate her lovely space with Armaan does not leave him.... the initial shock over , the pain and humiliation of Riddhima having no faith in him has run deep into his veins. He just cannot get over the hurt that Riddhima actually tried to take her life because of him.
Imagine , looking forward to getting married to someone , only to find that person on the verge of willing death by suicide only because he/she did not want to be with you. It feels 10 times worse than it sounds. It fills you up with a terrible feeling of uselessness , hollowness and above all the worst human fear - OF BEING UNWANTED.
As Sid vents out his frustration on punching bags and pillows, a numb and silently ruffled Riddhima lies down on the bed - the entire process of her being tied to Sid in holy matrimony - the burning of Armaan's pictures and Sid making her his wife. She can hear Sid beat up the punching bag but somehow , she doesn't move from her place - she closes her eyes and goes to sleep , hoping that when she wakes up , that look of betrayal would have gone from Sid's eyes and she will be able to deal with this pain in a stronger manner.
Next day, a radiant and beautiful newly wedded Riddhima sees Siddhanth in the room - getting ready. They look at each-other and Riddhima's heart droops in disappointment as she can see that the ice has not left Sid'a face. Still, as he starts to go , Riddhima , by some queer right to question again and again asks him - why are you avoiding me? I need to speak to you. Sid doesn't even turn around and tells her firmly - I don't want to talk.
The entire scenario in Sanjivani fills up with tension as Riddhima and Siddhanth come face-to-face and to everybody's shock , they both had no idea where their spouse was. Naina reads into the tension but keeps quiet. Thankfully , more embarrassment was saved by the entry of Paddy Aunty. Happy to see her daughter as a married woman , she takes her in her arms and Riddhima fights back her tears. As the loving mother requests Sid regarding the pag-phera ritual, the internal wound bleeds again and Sid takes a dig at Riddhima that comes straight from his heart - Riddhima doesn't listen to me or to anyone! She does as she pleases - Riddz looks at him tearfully and Sid , not knowing how to handle his temper , goes away.
Later, as Riddhima confronts a furious Sid in the Basket Ball court - all of Sid's steaming fury comes out like a crashing wave - Why should i be talking to you? Infact , what should we be talking? I made all possible promises to you . For what? To see you collapse in a suicide attempt because you had no trust in me? How am I ever going to trust you , tell me! This marriage is a farce because i have no reason to believe in you, Riddhima. This sindoor , this mangalsutra hold no meaning because this marriage holds no meaning for you! But I cannot take this pain and anguish anymore - it pinches me somewhere inside. I am no longer going to take any crap , Riddhima. From now on , you will do as i say - my house, my life , my rules. Now, you will know what it feels like to be on the other side.....
.....And there went an angry basketball into a basket and off went Sid. A sad but moved Riddhima , tears swimming in her eyes wished that Sid believes her ..... I know this marriage is a compromise Sid. But I want to make it work - I want to walk ahead and I don't want to run from life anymore. Help me. For Mom-Dad, I want this marriage to work and be a good wife to you... I don't know if i will be able to accept you with all my heart ever.... but help me try.
It was such a sad situation as you saw Sid-Riddz exchange places - for once Sid bleeding and Riddhima trying to convince him that she never meant to cut up his heart and respect. Riddhima wants to make this marriage work but Sid has no faith in her and his belief in his wedlock with her is wobbly. They both are on different planes , in different states of mind...... and yet... like always something is going to pull them back together ..........as stupid as it sounds , as abstract as it sounds .... it is the BOND.
Love and luck always,🤗
God bless everyone.
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