Note: I agree that it might not go down well with many of you, even when I thought of this, I was scared of attempting it, but I went ahead because I just wanted to see how it would have been??? I just wanted to write something which would deal with humans, they are vulnerable beings who seek love constantly, they blindly cross certain limits trying to reach that. No jhootas and chapplas if you don't like it. I promise to write something better and make it up to you all…
And the good thing is I have finished the entire story finally…so I won't be keeping you hanging mid-way…!!HeHe!!!
[C]
The monsoon ended…except for some sudden occasional downpours…
"It is just hell-heaven, the difference…How things changed…" she always thought, using the words for her self-concocted, backward metaphor… …
She hated herself… she still couldn't forget the incident which happened in Goa… How could he do such a thing?? How could she let him do such a thing??
After her return she had tried her best to avoid him…not even looking up at him when they had to meet for work…he followed her….she knew, silently…his silences, apologizing for his reckless behavior…once she had found a lone stem of white lily neatly kept on her desk along with a small note with 'Sorry' scribbled on it in his clumsy hand-writing…
She felt miserable, a part of her felt a repulsive anger towards him while a part of her excessively sympathized with him… she wanted to discuss this with pia but her guilty conscience blocked all her efforts…How would she look into her eyes??? She plopped in her seat dejected… … not able to understand this fickleness of her heart…nobody had ever affected her so much, so much that it robbed her off her sleep and peace of mind…not able to tabulate the data in the file, she decided to give it to Pushkar to complete it and leave early instead of wasting her time whiling away… …
"Pushkar…" bani entered his cabin to find it empty…she looked around…now a days pushkar seemed to be too busy…he was not the same person anymore, her best friend, she could empathize with him but it was high time he bounced back… she was about to turn around and walk away when the ringing of his cell phone caught her attention…she decided to ignore it but it kept on ringing… she went to pick his phone when she was shell shocked to see the name flashing on the screen…it was pia's call… …keeping the mobile back she quickly left the cabin… … only to bump into jai…
"I am sorry…" she heard jai's hoarse voice…his eyes seemed to beg her pardon for what happened in Goa… …
"I am sorry…" she said in a failed voice, rushing… leaving him puzzled…
Jai patiently waited for pia to come… he would not have bothered but this was important…they couldn't go on like this…he was yet to tell about his decision to masi who he knew would be broken but somehow he felt relieved that he was spared of the horror of shouldering the weight of a loveless, almost insignificant marriage which was worth nothing…not even worth fighting for…
"Jaii…" pia shrieked, as soon as she entered, clicking her heels, throwing away the designer bag…
"You had dinner…" she asked casually, removing the diamond danglers…
"Hmm…" he answered…
"Why are you not asleep…??" she asked searching for her nightdress…
"I wanted to give you something…" he said re-checking the papers…
"What?? A gift…WOW!!! You are so sweet…" pia turned back with glee in her eyes… jai simply handed her the papers…
"This is not possible…"
"You will be getting sufficient alimony…so don't even start to bother…"
"But jai…I love you…" pia said her eyes wide with shock…
"Thanks for telling me…" he said sarcastically… …
"Jai…this...is…"
"You are free to do whatever you want…pursue your modeling career…" pia gave him a bewildered look of faineance…
"Don't give me that look pia…I know what you are up to behind my back…actually I can destroy you completely but I am doing this amicably because you are bani's sister… she has already been humiliated by you enough…and she doesn't deserve this… …" he got up…
"Sign it…" he thundered with underlying disgust…pia signed at the required places without a second question… …
+++++
Bani adjusted the pleats of her sari…masi had personally called her up to attend the pooja organized at Walia Mansion, and she couldn't refuse masi…clad in a simple lime green sari she looked beautiful…she put on her mother's bangles…they were of ancient design, very old, she had given them to pia on her wedding but she refused to wear them opting for the trendy, fashionable jewelry jai had presented her…getting hold of her purse she locked her flat… …
Between scurrying feet and loud noises…bani could hear him…her eyes met with jai's who sat in a corner, aloof and distant…the hullaballoo going around would break the spell each had cast, but a bond formed between them…Their distracted minds engaged in a conversation of their own… like two lovers sitting opposite to each other in a caf, talking animatedly wearing unnecessary silly smiles on their faces, feeling the departing warmth of the day…with the dull rays of the dusk beginning to fade…bani averted her gaze, concentrating elsewhere…
Jai felt spiked with jealousy as masi talked about bani fondly to a lady…
"Kitni pyaari hain…mere mehul ke liye kaisi rahegi…" the lady asked eagerly…
"Humari bani toh bohot gunwaan hain…"
"Aap baat kijiye na usse…"
"Haan haan…main baat karti hoon…aap bhi mil lijiye usse…Bani beta…" massi called her…
"Jee massi…" bani went towards the two elderly ladies…
"Yeh Mrs. Sharma hain…pados main rehti hain…" massi introduced them…
"Namaste…"
"Namaste beta…"
"Inka beta mehul, software engineer hain…" massi went on…after a while Mrs. Sharma went away…
"Bani…mehul acha ladka hain…ab tujhe bhi apan ghar basa lena chahiye…" masi said… bani felt awkward, discussing her own marriage proposal…
"Massi woh…main…maine socha nahin…"
"Toh soch na…"
"Woh…"
"Koi jaldi nahin hain…araam se soch…theek hain…"
"Jee massi…" she said nervously, the idea of marriage didn't appeal to her…her eyes followed pia who got up walking away, looking into her mobile…bani excused herself following pia… …
Bani felt cheated and sick as she overheard pia talking on the phone…
"Main abi nahin aa sakti hoon…" pia said in a hushed tone…
"Samjho…main baad main phone karti hoon…"
"Bye!!Love you!!!" pia disconnected the line, bani hid behind the pillar…
"No need to feel so bad…" she heard jai's voice…
"I have failed…" she blinked her tears…
"Sometimes…other people's mistakes burden us bani…it doesn't mean we have failed…" somewhere pia's infidelity and pushkar's betrayal had shown him the mirror…it didn't shatter him as it should have…it made him more sensitive to thoughts and may be emotions which he never let them come to fore…even before pia cheated on him, he was already emotional dethatched from her, or maybe he had committed adultery by thinking of bani in a way he shouldn't have thought…he unquestionably accepted pia's wayward ways…and the acceptance made it easier for him to deal his own increasing longingness towards bani… …
"You know…" she said, shocked…
"Jigyasa had told me a few days ago about pia and pushkar… "he spoke…bani remained silent, bowing her head in shame… …
"I didn't believe her…but I guess your silence proves it…"
"You didn't tell me about them before…things would have been different…"
"Are you accusing me??" she lifted her tear filled eyes…
"No just asking…"
"I didn't know it until the wedding day when pushkar got drunk and confessed that he was in love with pia and she rejected him to marry you…I thought she loved you so…but…" bani trailed off…
"But she didn't…compared to pushkar I had a heavy bank balance…"
"Why are you telling this to me???"
"Is it my fault that she is pretty…?"
"Is it my fault that you both fell for her…?"
"Is it my fault that she chose you for whatever reasons…" her throat dried up by the time she vented out her frustrations, insecurities and the guilt of crossing the line with her brother-in-law…he watched her for a second unblinking…
"No bani…it's my fault that I chose her instead of you…" his simple, straight-forward statement left her baffled…she saw his retreating back as he walked away…
+++++
Still clad in the same sari she sat on the floor…entrapped in a hurricane of emotions…bani switched off her mobile after talking to rano…she didn't discuss it with rano as she didn't want to disturb her studies, she really missed her mother today…she decided that she would refuse the proposal politely, why was she refusing she still couldn't figure out…the ring of the calling bell surprised her…who was at this hour almost nearing midnight… thinking that it must be pia she quickly opened the door worried… to her horror it was Jai Walia standing at the door wearing a grim expression…as if he was ready to explode… …
"Aap yahaan kya rahen hain…please leave…" bani said stoically, trying to close the door… …
"Bani please listen to me…" he pleaded holding the edge of the door firmly…
"You should leave…" the sternness in her voice multiplied…
"BANII!!!" he shouted making her tremble…he pushed her back, coming inside…shutting the door, latching it…bani walked away…
"Please go Mr. Walia…" she said, her back facing him…
"Don't marry him…" it was a sort of an order, an arrogant demand rather than an appeal or plea… …his swaggered high-handedness angered her…
"Who are you to tell me what should I do with my life…??" bani snapped back, looking at him with flaring eyes…jai gritted his teeth…gripping her arms firmly making her yelp… …
"I hate it when you talk to me like that…" he said, his hot firing breath fanning her face…
"You are hurting me…" she replied back struggling, looking into his eyes… as if realizing his barbarity, he immediately left her…
"I have filed for a divorce…" his voice turned mellow…bani turned her face, swiftly walking towards the confined balcony…
"It's your life Mr. Walia…I am least bothered about what you do…" bani said caustically… …jai paced towards her…
"Really bani…it doesn't bother you…" he hissed…
She didn't answer him this time…in the deadly silence of the midnight he only heard an echo of her reclusive stifle and a tremble of her waif-like body… …
"Don't do this bani…please…" he said gently… his hand fingering the lone thick bangle resting on her wrist…his fingers tracing its ornate intricate design… he slid his finger in the open hollow between the inner curve of the bangle and her slender wrist…he found her flinch a little…hooking his forefinger he pulled her towards himself… …
"This is wrong… …" she uttered lowly in a pained voice…heeding to none of her distressed words he held her in his arms…his tongue brushing the delicate shell of her ear…he blew a light breath over the moist spot and she shivered…how could she find the strength to resist him when his nearness alone drove her to distraction...???
It boosted her hidden, practically squelched ego that a man like Jai Walia desired her over her pretty sister…she knew she was wrong, even was ashamed of herself to desire him back, it was a sin…a grave sin… but…it was impossible to reject that proposition of being loved…she hated to admit it, denying the fact for years but the ultimate truth was that she never had been loved…her mother had died even before she could comprehend her existence, the sparse amount of time she spent with her mother was that of nursing her, sitting by her bed-side making her drink the sour medicine which her mother always whined about patting her chubby cheeks lovingly…the only physical endearment she registered in her memory forever…after her mother's demise she had lost her father too…if her mother expired out of a dreadful sickness, her father managed to move towards that end by embracing alcohol which would eventually lead him to death…all of a sudden, practically overnight she was big, grown up, responsible…mothering her still very young sisters, disciplining her father which she failed even after relentless efforts, there was no time to think about herself, she didn't play hide and seek with her sisters or friends because she was busy cooking in the kitchen carefully standing on a stool because she didn't reach the height of the kitchen slab…in her youth she didn't dress up and go out as her evenings were devoted to teach her sisters and take her father to the doctor or stock up groceries…life had been a fast running train…which kept running without stopping…when her childhood disappeared, when her adolescence appeared… when her youth transfigured into adult life…she didn't know… she was too busy to notice the most beautiful phases of Life… …and Love was alien to her… … Yes, her sisters loved her but not in a way sisters loved a sister…they looked up to her, they admired her, and they respected her…she was a mother to them not a sister… there was always a line of control between her and them…which they never crossed… she had always optimized life, seeing the light not the darkness…but her heart had always yearned for that LOVE she was always denied…she had never seen it… …maybe it was what her mother had for them but she was too much in a hurry to leave them…maybe it was what her father felt for her mother which was so profound that it drove him to madness even to the extent of neglecting his own children…maybe it was what fairytales were made of, a few which she read when small…maybe it was what she had for her family that she was content in seeing others happy above herself…maybe…but the way this man claimed to love her was incomparable to anything which she believed or perceived to be love…
She couldn't bring herself to stop him…to say that it was not right… it was a heinous crime which was unpardonable…to shout that the world will point fingers at her…degrade her…but nothing came out of her mouth… …
With a sharp intake of breath she kissed him back…that was the moment she realized how ruthlessly lonely she was in this hopelessly ruthless world…she didn't care about anything now… nothing at all… …
By the time he ended the kiss grappling to breathe…her state was dishelved, her hair tousled, the front of her sari removed, she heaved heavily… while his fingers worked to unhook her blouse, claiming her lips again passionately...bani arrested his fingers, stopping him mid-way…jai released her lips, staring back at her…she shook her head lightly, hooking back her half-open blouse, covering her front with the pallu…
"Not now…" she whispered…
"When…?" he asked, feeling impatient…
"I don't know…" she replied not looking at him directly…he moved back…kissing her cheek lightly he left without saying anything… …
+++++
Bani sat bemused… she couldn't get over the way he ravished her mouth yesterday night… the shrill ringing of the phone burst her fanciful bubble… …
"Helloo…" her voice seemed dreamy and slurred…
"Thinking of me…" jai's voice boomed from the other end…she blushed profusely…remaining silent not answering him…clenching the paper-weight, calming herself… …
"Come to my cabin…" he commanded…
"I have work…" she replied in a hushed tone…
"I have work too…" he said huskily…
"Please…not here…I…" bani tensed up…
"Okay…I promise I won't do anything…now come…" his order turned into a request within a blink of the eye…
"Okayy…" she quickly kept the phone down… …
comment:
p_commentcount