Posted:
I don't particularly like this shot. In fact, I'd go as far to say that I think it's one of my worst. But Bhav really liked it for some reason, and I told her I would post it. It's in first person, which is rather new for me. And again, I don't know why, but I don't like it.
And, it's tragic. Sad, so I'm not putting this in the title (takes too much space) but I am informing you first! If you don't read the note, it's not my problem. And some of you may think that's rude, but I don't care so much at the moment. Maybe in the morning. š
Oh, and it's based on Taylor Swift's You Belong To Me. Awesome song, and great video, but that one had a happy ending.
It started innocently enough. We had been neighbours all our lives. It was obvious that there was more than just friendship between Heer Didi and Prem Bhaiyya, much to the joy to Papaji and Lalit Chacha, even when we were young. Preet and I have been friends all our lives. He's my best friend, so it would be obvious that I would notice the subtle changes in how looked as we grew up. Or so I thought.
It was when Ash moved in with us that I began to notice the little differences in me and her. And the way Preet was with both of us. But I wrote it off, I mean, Preet Juneja has been my best friend since we were both in diapers. I figured, we would always be friends.
I never thought I would want more.
When he asked Ash out, he was thrilled. I did not know why I was not. There was an ache in my heart at his beam, his obvious joy that she had said yes. I could not figure it out. She was far from his first girlfriend, and I knew, she would not be the last. Then why did it hurt?
Seeing him at the door, with roses in his hand, as she descended the staircase looking all the world like a princess, it hurt something fierce. I was struggling to breathe, and I could not figure out why. I mustered up a smile at Ash, calling out a "Have fun!" to them as he took her hand and walked to the car he had borrowed from his brother. His eyes never left her form, he never looked back.
I should have taken it as a sign for things to come.
I expected Ash to be a fling like all his other girlfriends were. I was used to Preet changing girlfriends like he changed his favourite food. It happened every other week. It never dawned on me that maybe he was serious about her.
When we spent time together, he was either on the phone with Ash, or talking about her. There was no room for me in his life anymore, despite the fact that I knew him inside out. I knew him better than anyone, even Ash.
That is how I knew he loved her before he did.
That realisation that my best friend had fallen in love with someone I considered my sister should have thrilled me. It would have under different circumstances. But in the years that they had dated, I had come to the sickening conclusion that I was in love with Preet. I was in love with Ash's boyfriend.
I was in love with my best friend.
It was a horrible clich, one that pinched at me, because I knew he would never see me that way. We used to laugh at the teen romances in the movies where the popular guy liked the popular girl, never once seeing the best friend who secretly loved him until the end. Now, I was in one of those movies, but the thing was, I knew he would never realise it. He was a guy, and guys never saw the dowdy best friend, when they had the glamorous girlfriend who adored them.
If I could fault Ash in anyway, say she was a horrible girlfriend, was a petty person, was catty and mean, I would. But they would all be lies. She was sweet, she took the time to know Preet's likes and dislikes, his family, his friends, myself included. She was perfect for him in every way.
And I was not.
The time came when he decided to propose to her, and he told me first, dragging me along to find the perfect ring. He never once noticed my heart shattering in front of him. It was silly, I know, but it was in that instant that all my hopes, however futile, crumbled in front of me. All the dreams I had seen of him realising that I was the one he loved dissipated in front of my eyes. I pasted a smile on my face and played the part of the best friend.
He never once noticed the tears in my eyes.
They are still there in my eyes as I look at the house that I have lived in all my life. The wedding is in three days, and having to pretend to be excited and happy for the couple has taken its toll on me. But the thing is, no one seems to notice that I have not genuinely laughed in the longest time. Everyone is busy in wedding preparations.
I know the wedding will be an elaborate affair, grand on a scale never before seen, not even Heer Didi's and Prem Jiju's wedding was this big. Ash will make a beautiful blushing bride, demure and resplendent in her bridal attire. Preet will look dashing in his sherwani, as handsome as always, and that smile that used to be reserved for me when we were children, but which has become hers will grace his face as she will sit next to him on the mandap. The smile that is now hers, and the man who will now be hers, always hers. Never mine.
I cannot sit around and see it, not without breaking down into helpless tears and revealing the biggest secret of my life. I cannot do that, not to either one of them, I love them too much. I am in love with my best friend, and he loves my sister. And as strong as I try to be, I am not strong enough to watch him become hers, more than he already is.
He will never be mine, I see it now. Sometimes, I wonder if things had been different, if I had realised sooner, maybe he would have been mine. But 'what ifs' are horrible to ponder on, they give you nothing but heartache.
And so, I cast one long, last lingering look at the house, my thoughts with everyone inside, but mostly with him. With all my heart, I wish him every happiness silently. I do not let any tear drop, not here. I slide into the seat of the taxi, and before I close the door, I hear a shout, and I know that my note has been found.
I tell the driver to leave. Only when the house is out of sight do I allow myself to cry, salty tears making tracks down my cheeks as I sob over what I lost, what I never had, and the one thing I knew with absolute certainty.
Preet was the guy for me, and I would never know if I might have been able to be the girl for him.
Be honest in telling me what you think!
Love,
Radz
And, it's tragic. Sad, so I'm not putting this in the title (takes too much space) but I am informing you first! If you don't read the note, it's not my problem. And some of you may think that's rude, but I don't care so much at the moment. Maybe in the morning. š
Oh, and it's based on Taylor Swift's You Belong To Me. Awesome song, and great video, but that one had a happy ending.
-||-
You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset.
She's going off about something that you said,
'Cause she doesn't get your humour like I do.
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night.
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like,
And she'll never know your story like I do.
She's going off about something that you said,
'Cause she doesn't get your humour like I do.
I'm in the room, it's a typical Tuesday night.
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like,
And she'll never know your story like I do.
It started innocently enough. We had been neighbours all our lives. It was obvious that there was more than just friendship between Heer Didi and Prem Bhaiyya, much to the joy to Papaji and Lalit Chacha, even when we were young. Preet and I have been friends all our lives. He's my best friend, so it would be obvious that I would notice the subtle changes in how looked as we grew up. Or so I thought.
It was when Ash moved in with us that I began to notice the little differences in me and her. And the way Preet was with both of us. But I wrote it off, I mean, Preet Juneja has been my best friend since we were both in diapers. I figured, we would always be friends.
I never thought I would want more.
But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts.
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find,
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me.
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find,
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You, you belong with me, you belong with me.
When he asked Ash out, he was thrilled. I did not know why I was not. There was an ache in my heart at his beam, his obvious joy that she had said yes. I could not figure it out. She was far from his first girlfriend, and I knew, she would not be the last. Then why did it hurt?
Seeing him at the door, with roses in his hand, as she descended the staircase looking all the world like a princess, it hurt something fierce. I was struggling to breathe, and I could not figure out why. I mustered up a smile at Ash, calling out a "Have fun!" to them as he took her hand and walked to the car he had borrowed from his brother. His eyes never left her form, he never looked back.
I should have taken it as a sign for things to come.
Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans,
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be.
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself,
Hey, isn't this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town.
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down.
You say you're fine, I know you better than that,
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be.
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself,
Hey, isn't this easy?
And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town.
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down.
You say you're fine, I know you better than that,
Hey, what ya doing with a girl like that?
I expected Ash to be a fling like all his other girlfriends were. I was used to Preet changing girlfriends like he changed his favourite food. It happened every other week. It never dawned on me that maybe he was serious about her.
When we spent time together, he was either on the phone with Ash, or talking about her. There was no room for me in his life anymore, despite the fact that I knew him inside out. I knew him better than anyone, even Ash.
That is how I knew he loved her before he did.
She wears high heels, I wear sneakers.
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find,
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me.
She's Cheer Captain and I'm on the bleachers.
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find,
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.
If you could see that I'm the one who understands you.
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me.
That realisation that my best friend had fallen in love with someone I considered my sister should have thrilled me. It would have under different circumstances. But in the years that they had dated, I had come to the sickening conclusion that I was in love with Preet. I was in love with Ash's boyfriend.
I was in love with my best friend.
It was a horrible clich, one that pinched at me, because I knew he would never see me that way. We used to laugh at the teen romances in the movies where the popular guy liked the popular girl, never once seeing the best friend who secretly loved him until the end. Now, I was in one of those movies, but the thing was, I knew he would never realise it. He was a guy, and guys never saw the dowdy best friend, when they had the glamorous girlfriend who adored them.
If I could fault Ash in anyway, say she was a horrible girlfriend, was a petty person, was catty and mean, I would. But they would all be lies. She was sweet, she took the time to know Preet's likes and dislikes, his family, his friends, myself included. She was perfect for him in every way.
And I was not.
Standing by and waiting at your back door,
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me.
Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night.
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry.
And I know your favourite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams.
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me.
All this time how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me.
Oh, I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night.
I'm the one who makes you laugh when you know you're 'bout to cry.
And I know your favourite songs and you tell me 'bout your dreams.
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me.
The time came when he decided to propose to her, and he told me first, dragging me along to find the perfect ring. He never once noticed my heart shattering in front of him. It was silly, I know, but it was in that instant that all my hopes, however futile, crumbled in front of me. All the dreams I had seen of him realising that I was the one he loved dissipated in front of my eyes. I pasted a smile on my face and played the part of the best friend.
He never once noticed the tears in my eyes.
Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you?
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me.
Standing by and waiting at your back door,
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me.
Been here all along, so why can't you see?
You belong with me.
Standing by and waiting at your back door,
All this time, how could you not know?
Baby, you belong with me, you belong with me.
They are still there in my eyes as I look at the house that I have lived in all my life. The wedding is in three days, and having to pretend to be excited and happy for the couple has taken its toll on me. But the thing is, no one seems to notice that I have not genuinely laughed in the longest time. Everyone is busy in wedding preparations.
I know the wedding will be an elaborate affair, grand on a scale never before seen, not even Heer Didi's and Prem Jiju's wedding was this big. Ash will make a beautiful blushing bride, demure and resplendent in her bridal attire. Preet will look dashing in his sherwani, as handsome as always, and that smile that used to be reserved for me when we were children, but which has become hers will grace his face as she will sit next to him on the mandap. The smile that is now hers, and the man who will now be hers, always hers. Never mine.
I cannot sit around and see it, not without breaking down into helpless tears and revealing the biggest secret of my life. I cannot do that, not to either one of them, I love them too much. I am in love with my best friend, and he loves my sister. And as strong as I try to be, I am not strong enough to watch him become hers, more than he already is.
He will never be mine, I see it now. Sometimes, I wonder if things had been different, if I had realised sooner, maybe he would have been mine. But 'what ifs' are horrible to ponder on, they give you nothing but heartache.
And so, I cast one long, last lingering look at the house, my thoughts with everyone inside, but mostly with him. With all my heart, I wish him every happiness silently. I do not let any tear drop, not here. I slide into the seat of the taxi, and before I close the door, I hear a shout, and I know that my note has been found.
I tell the driver to leave. Only when the house is out of sight do I allow myself to cry, salty tears making tracks down my cheeks as I sob over what I lost, what I never had, and the one thing I knew with absolute certainty.
Preet was the guy for me, and I would never know if I might have been able to be the girl for him.
You belong with me.
Have you ever thought just maybe,
You belong with me?
You belong with me.
Have you ever thought just maybe,
You belong with me?
You belong with me.
-||-
Be honest in telling me what you think!
Love,
Radz
Bade Achche Lagte Hain Naya Season
Itti Si Khushi Sab TV
Cricket
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
