Joint familes...good or bad? ur thoughts - Page 2

Joint family concept is good , but its success depends on the maturity of all the "adult" family members.

When living jointly , there will be some interference, but if handled properly by both parties JF can be a boon. Kids don't go to day care. You don't have to drive the kids every where, family members can share the responsibilities.

On the other hand if you have co-sister like mine, its better off living separately. Back bitting & stabbing is very normal for her. The sole reason for my migration to USA was my ils & her. I had to get away amiably.

Also living jointly doesn't mean living under one roof. I have a friend who has 3 BILs & MIL?FIL (10 adults in total).They do potluck for lunch every day except sunday. each one cleans their own mess yes even the menfolk. Dinner is on own just husband/wife/kids. Saturday all spent day together. All five houses are 5 mins driving distance from each other. All help each other out -- no daycare no privacy issues.

I like this option the best.

NOPE NOT A GUD IDEA TO LIVE IN A JOINT FAMILY......B.C ALWAYS IN THE BEGINNING ITS FINE AND SMOOTH BUT SLOWLY SLOWLY YOUR THOUGHTS CHAGE....THE EXPENSES AND BUSINESS AND SO ON AND ON ........IN THE SERIALS IT LOOKS JUST PERFECT B/C THEY ONLY HAVE TO ACT ONLY.....RATHER THAN ALL THIS I WOULD PREFER STAY AWAY BUT GET INVOLVED IN ALL THE OCCASIONS AND FESTIVALS.....I THINK THAT GIVES REALLY MORE HAPPINESS TO EVERYONE.....

Well, before my marriage i was thought the same thati will be a very good bahu and i think i am cos i dont show my feelings.i respect all of my inlaws and they love me too but sometimes it gets over. i got married since three years.I went just three times for eating out with my husband because his mom is soooooo much caring she says "dont eat out its unhigenic", whenever i wana cook something she said put this in it put that in it , the thing is that before marriage i thought i will be indpendent after marriage but i was wrong even i am more dependable..., at my moms house i was free to do anything but here just asking and gettin permission for everything. You know sometime you want to spend sometime alone with your husband but for me its kinda impossible , but in this case i think my husband is more wrong. He likes to sit all the time with his brother and discussing family issues and games , and cricket..,
Sometime i even cried but i love my husband so havto face it.i joint family i admit that you have to invest in home in a joint way but with me this case is soo much complicated. My husband has a good job , he and his father has a joint account. So whenever i want to buy something for myself or i want to go to dinner or even movie....., my husband used to say i have to ask for money from my dad.., and this thing is more annoying for me. but i never complained while i stopped to demand for everything but everything has a limit so lets see...
So heres the deal that in some ways joint families r good but some time as bad as grave.., i think u can decorate your home by your own will, you have to cok what u want n when ever u want , just in your very own home.
My marriage changed my thoughts towards joint family so i will never sujjest.. but if you want to good luck.. 😳

I lived in a joint family before marriage. We are a huge family of 16 members and 4 servants...who have been there since we were born so almost 25 to 30 yrs. Joint families have their advantages and disadvantages. While we were growing up, it was good coz u learn to adjust, u dont always have ur way, so u have to learn to work around the ways of others sometimes as well. But at the sametime when kids are grown up and at marriageable age,its good to get separated. Like in my family my grandmom is the head of the family and then my dad has 3 brothers, so tht makes it 4 in all and their wives and each has 2 children. Now my eldest cousin bro is married. And my bro is to get married and there are 2 more boys after tht. SO i think its not fair to ask the cousins and their wives to live together. Disadvantages are that, sometimes there a major lack of privacy. And also like someone else said, its difficult to get ur voice heard. Though in tht aspect we were very lucky, because being a joint family, we had a very broad minded upbringing. GOing out, or spending money or anything for tht matter wasnt a problem. Neither the kitchen, because the help does all the work.

As for me now i am married, and my husband and I live all alone here in Chile. My inlaws are back in bbay. But we both prefer tht we could live with his parents. Because my inlaws touchwood are very very broad minded. I have been blessed touchwood. There is no force to do anything. And if i dont like something tht my Mom in law tells me. I can tell her on her face, because i have grown up in their laps. And Vice Versa. As far as my father in law is concerned. He is the coolest. Treats me just like a daughter. I am allowed to wear what i like, be out till whatever time i like. Sleep in until i like. When i go to India, its like being treated like a princess. SO i would like to live with the, Though ofcourse again, when u get used to ur own freedom and ur own kitchen, its true tht even one small thing makes one feel uncomfy. thts the reason i dont enter the kitchen when i go to india. Because my mom in law is very hyper in the kitchen,likes to do the work too fast and i am too calm...so when i am in the kitchen, she tells me ur too slow, u go sit na...why u want to do work.and i just laugh.....coz i know how she like her work.

wow very interesting
joint families r good
i am a gujju,,too nd i too believe that joint familiez rock,,itz so fun,,,i mean therez masti nd all that stuff... 😊

It really depends on teh thinking of each family..it can become exhausting when one doesnt have freedom....for me...the case in my parents house is tht...even though its a joint family...there is never any restriction on anything..and secondly...my cousin bros wife...from the day she has come...she is like a princess..doesn thave to pick up a glass if she doesnt want to....so its a matter of the kind of family it is...