Love - Conditional or Unconditional?

Hey guys. My name is Fia and I am new to the TVD Forum. Although I have been following Vampire Diaries since it's very first season, but this is the first time I am actually discussing it on an open forum. The recent episode has left me in a state of frenzy, hence I couldn't help myself from making this post to share my views on a few things and hear yours too.

I was so curious and excited to watch this episode, hoping that this would finally prove to be the day marking Delena, but my happiness was short-lived as soon as I saw the scene between Caroline and Stefan in the end. I was already upset with the fact that they had deleted a very amazing Klaroline scene that I was dying to see ever since I saw pictures of it, one of which happens to be my current DP, but it never aired. And then the revelation of the sire theory just left me wanting to pull my hair out. I see no point of this track. Fine you guys want to show hurdles in the path of Damon and Elena's love, but why do they ALWAYS try to show that what they have is not real?

Coming to my topic, it is specially dedicated to the Salvatore Brothers and their love for Elena. Love is either conditional or unconditional. It's up to you what you chose. In my opinion, and whatever I have been able to gather over the seasons, Stefan falls in the category of conditional love and Damon falls in the category of unconditional love. There was a time I actually liked Stefan, even in Season 3 with his evil ripper look, but now he just makes me furious. And the reason is not that I like Damon more, the reason is that Stefan is basically a selfish guy who pretends to be the most selfless soul in the world. Whereas Damon would seem to be the most selfish person ever, but in reality, he is quite selfless, especially when it comes to his brother. I didn't like Damon in the initial episodes where he was hell bent on making Stefan's life miserable. I always thought that Damon was being mean and unfair to him, but when the story of their past revealed, my whole perspective of looking at things changed. Below I am listing a few points that I have observed over the Seasons:

- Stefan forced Damon to feed and turn into a vampire when Damon was willing to die without completing the transition. Reason, Stefan didn't want to be left alone as a vampire so he made his brother turn too.

- If Damon has killed innocent people, so has Stefan, maybe even much more. We all know who out of the two brothers was the ripper.

- Damon is no saint, and everyone knows that. He never puts up a facade of being a good guy. But Stefan is like the Devil in disguise. He pretends to be good whereas clearly he's not. No vampire is good, then how can he be?

- In the last season when Elena chose Stefan, Damon was ready to leave town the very instant as decided by both the brothers. Then why is Stefan unable to do the same when now Elena has chosen Damon?

- Stefan says Damon is not good for Elena. My question is what makes him say that? Both Damon and Stefan are vampires who have killed people, then what makes Stefan the better choice for Elena?

- Damon never tried to break Stefan and Elena up. Yes in the initial episodes he did, but that was because he wanted to take revenge from Stefan for helping their Father in trapping Katherine in that tomb. But stopped when he too fell in love with Elena. Then why is Stefan trying to come in the way of Damon and Elena now and giving his brother crap about their break up. I was surprised to see Stefan mocking Damon that he must be very happy that him and Elena had broken up, whereas all Damon was trying to do was cheer up his brother and spend some time with him so he could divert his attention from the pain he must be going through.

- Damon loved both Katherine and Elena unconditionally. He didn't care about Katherine being a vampire, and his love for Elena didn't change even after she turned into a vampire. Stefan on the other hand only loved the human part of both. He thought Katherine was a human and so he fell in love with her, and he claimed to love Elena with all his heart and soul when she was human but the minute she turned into a vampire, he said "I can't do this anymore" . The reason for their break up must have been Damon, but him not being able to accept Elena as a vampire is not Damon's fault. This sometimes makes me feel that both Katherine and Elena made the wrong choice choosing Stefan. They could never understand the depth of Damon's love.

- Stefan is so eager to find that cure, not because Elena doesn't want to be a vampire, but because he doesn't want her to remain one. Elena clearly told him that this is who she is now and she has accepted herself like that, then why doesn't Stefan back off? He wants to find that cure because he is insecure of Damon and Elena's growing bond as he feels that once Elena turns human again, she'll forget about Damon and fall in love with him once again. In my opinion, that is the most selfish thing a person could do. Love is about accepting the person the way they are, not changing them for your own convenience. And is he forgetting that he was the one who told Elena that she is love with Damon and should accept that, and now when she has, he can't handle the fact. Just decide already dude.

- As I said above, when we love someone, we except them the way they are. But both and Stefan and Elena are unable to do that. They both wanted to change each other. And at one point, Elena wanted to change Damon too, but failed, and what happened next was that she still fell for him, exactly the way he was.

The reason I listed all these points out was because I am confused. I am confused that why does Damon get blamed for every single thing when it's not even his fault? Why does Damon always end up being the bad guy? If Stefan does something, he's good, and when Damon does the same thing, he gets tagged as the bad person. Why does Stefan think that Damon is not the right choice for Elena? Who gave him the right to decide that? Elena can choose whoever she wants. When she chose Stefan, Damon was willing to step aside, but now when she chose Damon, why is Stefan so hell bent on proving that he's the bad guy? And why does Stefan think that he is the right choice for Elena after he himself broke up with her? If he wanted her so much, why did he let her go in the first place. I remember in the previous season, Rose's spirit told Jeremy that Stefan was good for Elena, whereas Damon was either the best thing for her or the worst thing. Good things are a safer option, but best things are the prime option of every person. We always want the best thing for ourselves don't we? Without caring about the consequences or disadvantages. Because best things give you immense happiness and satisfaction, but good things only satisfy you for a certain period of time.

Coming to the sire theory, as I said, I see no point of this track. But Julie Plec herself has said in an interview that the sire bond has no affect on feelings. And as much as I want to take her word for that, I know this is just another one of her ways to calm the Delena fans down and give them false hopes when in the end, they are going to shove Stelena down our throats again. And whatever the outcome of this track may be, we all know for a fact that Elena had fallen for Damon long before she turned into a vampire. Her feelings for him have only magnified after the transformation. By the way, since when did Caroline become the sensible one, filling in all the missing pieces of a puzzle? What has got me perplexed is the promo for the next episode. They are hinting that Damon knew Elena was sired to him. They're trying to show him in the bad light again making it look like he took advantage of her. I really hope it's a misleading promo because if this turns out to be true, than the writers are clearly messed up in the head because they are still clueless as to what exactly they want.

What Stefan and Elena have is not epic love. They just consider each other as the safest option for themselves. And for me that is not love. Because love makes you want to take risks, something that I have found Elena doing ONLY when she's with Damon. Sometimes I feel both brothers are better off without Elena. They should just stick to each other. Because if a girl can't chose who her true love is between both the guys, how good will she be for either of them? I would end this post with a very famous quote by Johnny Depp that one of my friends shared with me a long time ago, and I feel it perfectly suits the situation Elena is in at the moment.

I loved your post.

I have said it from the beginning of Season 4.


Stefan's love is conditional. He needs Elena as human to love her. He will love her always but only if she is human. I know coz by Elena, he wants to be close to his own humanity. Coz he is scared he will loose his humanity if Elena will not become human again. And he does not even give a damn if Elena wants it or not, what happens in the procedure. He just blinded by this obsession.


And what shocks me the most is that he is teamed up with Klaus. So, when Elena will be human again, Klaus will use HER BLOOD to make his own hybrids. So, eventually, Elena will pay the price to become human again for HER ENTIRE LIFE. Stupid. All season 3 they saved Elena coz Klaus wanted her blood and now her so called perfect boyfriend wants to make her human again and go back to the same way. Vicious circle. 😆


SO MUCH FOR THE EPIC LOVE!


For me, Stefan is the pretending to be GOOD and even BEST (sometimes) person and brother when he, himself, is also a Monster. Unlike Damon, he just does not accept it. And keep trying to do good and then screw up everyone in the process. I like honesty. And Damon is way more honest then any other character in the show. He will speak the truth whether it hurts anyone or not. He will sleep with someone and accept to her that she is just Distraction. I love honest people beyond anything. That's why I love Damon and hate Stefan. He has not even accepted his death and vampirism.


So, I am in love with the GOOD brother who pretends to be BAD brother. 😳 And I hate BAD brother who always pretends to be GOOD.

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

I cant agree more!

My friends that watch TVD are ALL Stelena fans and they say Stelena is the end game buh when l come here l LOVE you guys' thoughts.

Originally posted by: sunflower52

I loved your post.

Yes right now it seems Stephan's love have conditions and he is having hard time accepting this new Elena.

While Damon have accepted the both sides of Elena.

The reason why Stephan's seems like that is because he does not want to accept that humans or anyone else have two sides one is dark and other is light. Stephan needs to accept who he is then he can accept Elena's or Damon.

Also that Stephan is not used to getting rejected by anyone and that is also giving him hard time to accept. As this happens to people who are not used to getting rejected.

Thanks!

Exactly. Stefan is having a hard time accepting the fact that Elena has feelings for Damon which are true in every sense. He cannot look past the bad sides of his brother only because he got the girl he loved.

Whether or not Stefan accepts who he is, he has a strong belief that he is a good person who's every action, be it wrong or right, is justified. But if Damon does the same, he can't seem to accept it.

Originally posted by: iMadz

I have said it from the beginning of Season 4.


Stefan's love is conditional. He needs Elena as human to love her. He will love her always but only if she is human. I know coz by Elena, he wants to be close to his own humanity. Coz he is scared he will loose his humanity if Elena will not become human again. And he does not even give a damn if Elena wants it or not, what happens in the procedure. He just blinded by this obsession.


And what shocks me the most is that he is teamed up with Klaus. So, when Elena will be human again, Klaus will use HER BLOOD to make his own hybrids. So, eventually, Elena will pay the price to become human again for HER ENTIRE LIFE. Stupid. All season 3 they saved Elena coz Klaus wanted her blood and now her so called perfect boyfriend wants to make her human again and go back to the same way. Vicious circle. 😆


SO MUCH FOR THE EPIC LOVE!


For me, Stefan is the pretending to be GOOD and even BEST (sometimes) person and brother when he, himself, is also a Monster. Unlike Damon, he just does not accept it. And keep trying to do good and then screw up everyone in the process. I like honesty. And Damon is way more honest then any other character in the show. He will speak the truth whether it hurts anyone or not. He will sleep with someone and accept to her that she is just Distraction. I love honest people beyond anything. That's why I love Damon and hate Stefan. He has not even accepted his death and vampirism.


So, I am in love with the GOOD brother who pretends to be BAD brother. 😳 And I hate BAD brother who always pretends to be GOOD.

Very well said. This point never really came in my mind but I absolutely agree. Stefan wants to be closer to his own humanity through Elena. Lexi was the one who helped him with first but after she died, he needed Elena even more to prevent the Monster within him to unleash. And as you said, he isn't even caring about Elena's will in all this. He calls Damon selfish, but this is pure selfishness on his part now.

EXACTLY!! They spent the entire previous season running around trying to save Elena from the clutches of Klaus. And now her epic ex-boyfriend is eagerly following orders from the same Klaus to find the cure to turn her into human again so that he'd be able to use Elena as the human blood bag all over again. If that was going to be the end result of it all, then even Alaric died for nothing. Stefan should sit down for a minute and think over why exactly he wants to find the cure. Is it for Elena, or is it for his own selfish reasons? Is it because he wants to turn Elena back to human as she won't be able to pull off being a Vampire, or is his ego not willing to accept the fact that Elena has fallen in love with Damon and by finding the cure, he thinks she'd go back to loving him again?

True that. Damon is honest. With himself and with others too. He knows he's a Monster and lives with that fact, unlike Stefan who pretends to be an Angel but does every Devilish thing possible.

Originally posted by: *Shifali*

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

YES!

YES! That's what I have been trying to put in the right words too! And you just made it sound even more beautiful!

Okay, firstly, I don't care who Elena ends up with since my primary reason to watch is Nian & Paul and their chemistry as well as other characters. So I am alright with everything.

And I agree with the Damon part. He accepted everyone the way they are. He fell in love with Elena for who she was and his love didn't change for her after her transition. I am not saying his love is the only one that matters but to me, Damon made everyone love who they are and also make all people look at their inner demons!

Elena despite trying to make Damon a better person failed because she realized that he IS a better person already, because he doesn't try to fake his personality.

Stefan, I love him too because he doesn't like change. Especially change that surrounds Elena and hence why he wants her to be the old Elena who was dependent on him, made him feel something special.

So yes, I agree. Elena & Damon should be together but at the same time, if the whole sire thing blows up in the faces of Delena fans, I am going to be mad. Only because if you want to show Elena and Stefan, sure, I don't have any problem because I find em cute, but don't do it on the pretense of making Damon look bad and give Delena fans false hope.

Thank you 😳

Hahaha even I don't really care who she ends up with. But since every show needs a couple, I would prefer Delena always and forever. I really like Paul. His sense of humor is splendid. And there was a time I liked Stefan too, but now he just pisses me off because he pretends to be someone he's not. These days though I'm rooting for Klaroline 😉

Damon is not afraid to accept reality and face the truth. He knows truth is bitter and he stands up for it which is why he qualifies as a much better Human and Vampire than all the others. He accepts everyone with their qualities and flaws both. He doesn't judge people. Stefan on the other hand assumes himself to be the best person in the whole world and thus wants to communicate with only such people too. But he forgets a simple fact that ever person in this world is both good and bad. It depends on the way we look at things.

Bang on Shifali. Damon really is the better person with both his good sides and bad sides out in the open infront of everyone.

I feel Stefan wants the upper hand in everything. He has a certain dominating factor that he tries to hide, but it comes out eventually. He says Elena has the right to make her own choices but then gets upset when she actually makes them. He's happy till she's doing the things that he likes but when she wants to do something she feels like, he doesn't seem satisfied.

I had no problem with Stelena either in the initial episodes because at the end of he day, if I were to choose between Damon and Delena, I would always choose Damon. But I don't want to be given false hope of Delena even having a shot at being the endgame only to be fed with Stelena in the end. And by making Damon look bad, they can't make Stefan look good. Stefan has his fair share of bad in him too which cannot be overlooked.

Originally posted by: rainfire

I cant agree more!

1) Damon vs Stefan = I think Damon is a bigger and better man than Stefan because he knows what he is, accepts it and owns his mistakes. While Stefan on the other hand is going all Dr. Jekyll/Dr. Hyde and has developed multiple personality who needs to be saved from his own dark side ever 20 years or so. I would have felt sorry for him for being unable to accept who he is but he keeps going all self righteous, sanctimonious on Damon.

2) Delena Vs Stelena = Serioulsy at this point is there even a doubt that Delena are the soul of this show. Even when she picked Stefan in season 3 finale I was not sad because it was really obviously that she was not ready for all consuming love she feels for Damon so she took the easy way out. Like Damon said "it was right just not right now" But now its their time. Now Elena is Ready!

Awesome Post!

- Mira

1) Apt reference of Dr, Jekyll/Dr.Hyde. Stefan has always been unable to step down and accept his flaws because of his egoistic issues and assumptions of being the perfect guy. Whereas Damon who is known for his flaws still turns out to be the better man because he is not afraid to accept who he is.

2) Oh yes I loved it when Damon said that. As they say, there is a right time for everything, maybe Delena will too eventually happen at the right time without any hurdle of a sire bond or any other crappy theory coming in the way.

Thank you!