FF: Lootera ~ Last Chapter on page- 85~ - Page 35

Chapter-9

Bihaan kicked the door shut after throwing Thapki out and returned back to destroy whatever else was spared in the hut. He just knew he had to destroy everything... It felt good to destroy...

When he became tired, he huddled down in a corner and began to cry. He cried for being evil, for all the sins he had done in life...for having an affair with his bhabi...for betraying his brother...for letting his parents down and disgracing them to such extent they didn't even want his dead body...for still being alive...for being worthless. God probably gave him a second chance to live so that he could atone for the sins he committed...but again he repeated the same sin...he fell in love again...with his brother's wife...again...and the worst part was knowing everything, his heart was still beating for her.

After waking up from almost being dead, when he realised he had lost all his memories...he waited and waited for someone to come for him... he wondered whether someone was missing him somewhere...yearned for anyone dear whom he didn't even remember. But there was no one who came for him...slowly slowly he accepted the fact that he had to live like a blank page forever...he conditioned himself to live alone. And he was content...

Then she had to come...he didn't want her because he was scared. He was scared to embrace his past life...he was scared to know what he had done to deserve death... mostly he was scared to hope again...the girl made him feel things from the moment he first saw her. Feelings he didn't want to feel. Though he couldn't remember her face, her simple presence soothed him; it was as if, even though he didn't want to, his heart wrapped its invisible strings around her. She was his sun and all he could do was orbit around her. She made him feel like a king and he felt loved, cherished for once in his lifetime. But alas it was all a sham. Her love for him was a sham. She was no one to him. She was not his, but his brother's whom he had betrayed. Betrayed by falling in love with his wife again and again. The witch compelled him to do this sin.

But was she telling the truth when she proclaimed she loved him? She was living in a ramshackle hut with him amidst a dense forest leading a very simple basic lifestyle with no luxury and comfort which she must be accustomed to in life. She wore simple cotton dresses only what he brought for her, ate meagre assortment of food which was available in this backwater of a place...but she seemed happy...she never complained even once...

Was it possible, that yes she married his brother for some unavoidable reason but in truth love him, Bihaan? He knew it was a morally and ethically wrong thing to do that but still he was sooo sure Thapki loved him. He saw love for himself in her eyes, in her smile, in her every breath damn it...Can a person be that good of an actress. She left the entire world to live with him in dire straits without a single complaint, if it was not love then what was?

And was she the only one to be blamed? If she fell in love with him, so did he...how could he say she trapped him into betraying his brother? One can never clap in one hand. He was to be blamed too...for everything sordid that happened in his past life he was equally responsible too...

Yes, Thapki lied saying he was her husband...but Bihaan could understand her point of view, she saw an opportunity of being together and took it. She saw his memories gone and tried to start afresh with him...that must be what she was doing.

Bihaan stood up and realised almost 3 hours had passed while he was so deep in his thought. It was still raining cats and dogs. Thapki must be in the kitchen shade. Where else she would go when it was raining so hard? He shouldn't have thrown her out like that...he groaned feeling horrible... as he looked around the room and saw the tandav he did he felt horrible-er. He went out to look for her.

Thapki was not in the kitchen. Did she go to Lalu's house? In last few days every time she went to the village either he or Lalu took her there and brought her back...she never went alone...could she find her way to the village in dark while it was raining so hard? And jungle was not a safe place at night...there were animals, snakes, and the most dangerous of all, greedy corrupt people who could easily take a weakling like her. And there was a matter of reward now as well...He wondered how many people already knew about it...Villagers would be too scared to betray a daku or his wife but 10 lac was a lot of money what if someone did? What if they find out she was not his wife at all. And what if Thapki got lost in the forest and right now sitting somewhere lost crying??

His heart almost stopped. He ran inside his hut to get his torch and saw it was impossible to find it in the mess he created any time soon...he wanted to kill himself. He ran outside again. He had to find her in the dark, no options...no time to waste.

"Thapki" her name came out as a cry from within him...only god knew where she was, on what condition she was in...he started to run towards the jungle and toppled down into the mud tripping over something. Where did this boulder come from in front of his house all of a sudden? He stood up and almost kicked it in frustration when he froze.

Oh god no! It can't be...No god please no...no no no no...

He crouched down into the mud, beside the small heap. He turned her over to check whether she was breathing or not...her skin was ice to touch. When he threw her out, she must have fallen there and didn't get up after that, lying there in the rain, in the dark since last 3 hours. Bihaan lost his mind. He only knew if this girl in his arms dies, he dies too.

He picked her dead weight into his arms and brought her inside. There was no place where he could put her...everywhere there was debris and wreckage. He kicked the wreckage with his legs to make some space in the floor but there were broken glass pieces everywhere... Bihaan was crying by then...her lips had turned blue. Somehow he managed at last to put her down in a relatively clean place.

"Thapki--Thapki--Thapki"", he kept on calling her unresponsive body while he tried to bring some signs of life by massaging her hands. If she was breathing it was too shallow to be determined. She was not even shivering just lying like a corpse. Bihaan began to tear her wet clothes off her and draped her with the crumbled bed sheets, quilt and anything warm he had in the hut. He didn't have the time or mentality to appreciate her naked form at that time. All he knew was that she was dying or already dead from hypothermia and it was all because of him. He tried to get water off her heavy hair. He himself was dripping wet, which was making it difficult to keep her dry making everything damp. He rubbed her limp hands, the soles of her feet to generate some heat but nothing happened. She kept lying like a corpse.

"Thapki"don't do this to me...Thapki please open your eyes...I am sorry...punish me any other way but don't do this...I love you so much. I am so sorry...I will never hurt you again I promise...Believe me...give me another chance ...come back to me?? Please?? " Bihaan cried like a baby.

He collected some wood from the broken furniture and lit a fire close to hers to raise the temperature of the room. He kept massaging her hands, face and feet. After a while which seemed like forever to him at last there were some signs in her body and she began to shiver. Her body was still freezing cold. The damp blankets and fire were not working. He took off his own clothes and wrapped himself around her to transfer his body heat.

He kept talking like a mad person, sometimes to god, sometimes to her, sometimes he cried, sometimes he even sang to her but throughout he didn't relinquish his hold on her he kept hugging her tight.

After a while his voice was coarse and his eyes felt life it had sands in it but he still kept talking to her, asking for her forgiveness, telling her how much he loved her.

"B-B-B-B-Bihaan??...s-s-s-s-s-o c-c-c-cold." Thapki said at last.

"I know baby, I will keep you warm, keep fighting don't lose consciousness again."

Thapki said something incoherently. Bihaan hold her tighter.

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It had to be after midnight when Thapki woke up again feeling toasty warm and cocooned into Bihaan. He was slowly running his hands through her hair.

"How are you feeling baby?" He asked sensing her awake by noting the change in her breathing.

"mmm hmm" she said snuggling into his warmth more, too content to speak.

"Don't scare me like that ever"

"mmm hmm"

"You aged me 50 years"

Thapki smiled, "My sugar d-daddy"

"Can you ever forgive me for being such a monster?"

"I always d-do"

"I am sure I have never been this monstrous in my past life."

"You have b-been worse."

"And you forgave me every time? Why?"

"B-Because I love you..."

"I love you too Thapki."

"I know"

"And I couldn't handle the thought you being anyone else's but mine."

"I was, am and will be always y-yours."

They fell silent after that. The fact they both were lying wrapped around each other naked was not affecting them or making the situation awkward. True, they wanted each other physically but their love was beyond that. Right then they were just relishing being with each other after almost losing each other.

"What happened Thapki?" Bihaan asked finally.

Thapki knew what he was asking and she began to tell the story, resting her head on his chest, "I u-used to work in your brother's newschannel. And when he asked me to m-marry him it was like a dream come t-true. I am from a s-simple middleclass family and he p-promised to take care of m-me and my family, to t-treat me as an e-equal with respect, what more can a g-girl want? I said y-yes."

"You were in love with him." Bihaan said quietly.

"No, I was bedazzled, I used to a-admire and respect him since I was a college girl and used to see him in his s-show. His proposal f-felt unreal. But on the w-wedding day, you stopped him from taking the pheras and m-married me by dhoka instead. The picture on the n-newspaper?? It was taken after we e-exchanged the barmalas. But after that we never got m-married"

"Was I in love with you too? My god!! How selfish was I to do this to my own brother and you?"

"No you were not s-selfish. You didn't want to marry m-me but you had to."

"Why?"

"Because of your Mum. She d-didn't like me because I s-stammer and was prejudiced against m-me...so she kind of emotionally b-blackmailed you into stopping Dhruv and marry m-me instead. She brainwashed you into t-thinking Dhruv didn't love me, was marrying m-me out of pity"

"Wasn't that too extreme? Why couldn't she simply stopped the wedding and said she didn't want you as her daughter in law?"

"Umm...I d-don't know. Maybe she didn't want Dhruv to m-marry me and still be on his good g-graces ? I d-don't know."

"If she didn't want Dhruv to marry you how can she want me to marry you? I am her son too..."

Thapki was silent after that question, how could she answer the question without hurting him?

"Thapki?" Bihaan urged her to answer when she remained quiet.

"Umm...you are k-kind of adopted into the family...you are not Pandey p-parivaar's real son."

She waited for his reaction and hurt but surprising her he said instead, "Wow that explains a lot. What happened then?"

"So we were married, and I d-didn't know it till next day. When I k-knew... I hated you from b-bottom of my heart; you used to h-hate me too because you thought I was a b-bad girl trying to trap Dhruv. You hid Mummiji's involvement and t-took all blame on yourself. I r-refused to be your wife and wiped away my s-sindoor and tore my m-mangalsutra. For some unavoidable c-circumstances, we had to stay together for 2 months before we could d-divorce. Slowly slowly we b-began to know each other, compromise with e-each other, realise how very p-prejudiced we were against each other and eventually we became f-friends. By that time Dhruv got married to Shraddha. "

"How come he didn't wait for you to be free?"

"I r-refused to marry him and asked him to m-move on. I AM NOT A DOLL BIHAAN. How can you even think I would marry h-him again? Did you know how r-ridiculous you were back then? When you r-realised he really loves me, you kept on t-throwing me at Dhruv"

"Did I do that? Try to give away my wife?? Told you I was a wimp."

"No you were not; you s-s-simply didn't want to see anyone in pain, even though you yourself were in pain. That's how you are s-since always."

"So what happened?"

"When we r-realised we are in love, we d-decided to marry again and that was when everything started to go s-south. Accidents began to happen to you c-constantly. And we were clueless why or what was c-causing them until I found out it was D-Dhruv trying to sabotage our r-relationship and trying to remove you from my l-life"

"But how was that possible?what could he gain? He had a wife."

"He kind of didn't want to m-marry her and never accepted h-her as his wife...He m-married her to get back at me for b-being with you and not r-return to him. He thought I w-would be hurt/jealous and stop his marriage."

"And were you hurt and jealous?"

"Offcourse not Bihaan, I told you I never l-loved him...what he does in life doesn't matter to m-me."

"So what happened then?"

"He became fully fledged m-mad, he tried to kill you a couple of t-times and almost succeeded. Finally when all his plans f-failed , he kidnapped me from the m-mandap on our wedding day and brought me h-here to marry me."

"And where was I?"

"Y-You followed us here and tried to rescue m-me. He kept me in the old factory above the c-cliff. And you two had a horrible f-fight by the edge of the cliff" Thapki shuddered.

"And then he won the fight and threw me down?"

"Not exactly..." Thapki said in a quiet voice, "You are a v-very good fighter B-Bihaan, no one could d-defeat you but you didn't want to h-hurt him much because you still considered him your b-brother and he t-took advantage of this. When you won and let h-him go free, he s-stabbed you from b-behind and banged your hand in one of the rock formations. You hit y-your head hard and became d-dizzy." She said sniffing softly tracing the scar in his temple gently with her fingers. "And I saw it all helplessly f-from where he kept me tied." Bihaan could feel Thapki's tears wet his chest. "Family came and Ma wanted to s-save you from crazy Dhruv. She shot him but by m-mistake you got shot instead and f-fell down the cliff. And I saw it all but c-couldn't do anything" Thapki cried pitifully and Bihaan hold her tighter.

"Sshh...baby I am okay."

"Everyone said you were d-dead, but when they c-couldn't find your dead body in the f-forest I knew you were n-not...God can't be so cruel to t-take you away from me."

"Baby, no body tried to find either me or my body."

"No we did, Dhruv a-arranged a search party and t-tried to find you for three m-months" Her conviction ended in whisper as if suddenly a doubt dawned on her.

"Dhruv?" Bihaan asked incredulously. "Why would he help find me after trying to kill me?"

Thapki suddenly sat up forgetting her naked state, "OH MY GOD!! IT WAS H-HIM, HE DIDN'T CHANGE AT ALL. HE IS STILL E-EVIL. I knew something was not right. That's why I didn't want you to come back to Pandey Nivas before you regain your memory.Something was stopping me. Maybe I knew in my heart Dhruv could never change and he is evil and you will more vulnerable to himin your condition--"

"What are you trying to say baby? " Bihaan asked trying hard to not look at her breasts.

"After you fell d-down, he p-pretended to be s-shattered along with rest of us. He asked f-for forgiveness for t-temporarily losing his sanity and s-said he never wanted to a-actually kill you. He w-wanted to repent for his s-sin and wanted to find y-you...but APPARENTLY HE JUST P-PRETENDED TO FIND YOU...he told us his s-search party could not find any trace of y-you. "

"And you all believed him?" Bihaan said still trying to not get distracted by her assets.

"I was in no c-condition to either believe him or not. I was in s-shock for months, waiting for any news of y-you. Thinking you will come b-back to me any minute. I became deranged. Maji was in s-shock too for mistakenly shooting y-you. No police charges were f-filed. Dhruv again and again asked for f-forgiveness from everyone and everyone just kind of a-accepted his apology with t-time. His wife left him. And he went to ash-ashram for penitence along with Maji. And I came here to l-look for you myself."

Bihaan suddenly jerked her towards him so that now she was lying flush against him, chest to chest, hip to hip, face to face.

"And you found me." Bihaan said his voice suggestive.

"Yes I d-did...But I promise Bihaan I don't k-know why evil Dhruv announced I am his w-wife, when I left Delhi he was still in ash-ashram. I haven't t-talked to him in months... in fact I h-haven't talked to him since he a-asked for my forgiveness. And I told him he w-will only get it if he returns you to m-me." Thapki said earnestly not realising the mood had changed from Bihaan's end.

"I don't care about him anymore." He said rolling his eyes at his wife for not realising his intentions.

"B-BIHAAN," Thapki suddenly said in alarm, "there is something b-between our bodies, are you f-feeling it?"

Bihaan hid his smile at her innocence and replied, "I am feeling it very much."

"Is that your g-gun??? Did you---"Thapki stopped suddenly, realising what it was and she turned beetroot while Bihaan softly began to chuckle.

He rolled and pinned her beneath him, "You Misez Thapki Bihaan Pandey still have lots to learn." He laughed while she turned redder. He kissed her then, with everything he had, with every atom of his being. After a while he raised his head from hers and asked, "Will you become Misez Raja Daku, Thapki?? Marry me and be mine?"

Tears sprang to her eyes and she could only nod.

"I want to make love to you when you have sindoor on your forehead and you are wearing mangalsutra of my name...I want to make love to you as Bihaan and Raja both...will you let me?"

Again Thapki could only nod amidst her happy tears.

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*cring* *cring* *cring*

"Raja? Is everything okay my boy?" Durga asked in concern, seeing Raja's call so late at night and knowing Raja's heartbroken status.

"I am fine Durga. Sorry to disturb you so late at night."

"No its fine, tell me what happened?"

"Durga I need your blessings, I am getting married tomorrow."

Durga was silent for few seconds.

"Raja, if she is married to your brother, marrying her won't make a difference; your marriage to her will be null and void."

"She never married my brother, Durga...she has always been my wife...but I want to marry her again."

"And you believe her?"

"Yes with my life...I love her."

"Okay my boy, then why wait? See you tomorrow at 9:00 in the temple." Durga boomed happily.

"Thank you Durga."

"You are a good kid." Durga cut the connection and remembered his lost love. A lone tear slip past his scarred cheek.

Chapter - 10