PART SIX
"You know what a kid wants? A loving and caring family, he does not want money or anything else...he just wants his parents to love him, to care for him. I was just 10 when my mom - dad parted away saying they are not compatible with each other. If they were not compatible with each other then why did they marry? Why did they bring me in this world?...To leave me alone? From that day I started hating relations...I started believing if relations are going to break then why to make any?" Sanskar started letting Swara know about his life, his parents. His throat was chocking from inside as his mind once again flashed those painful memories in front of his eyes. He was trying to be calm while saying all that, but emotions are emotions...no one can have control over them...no one can rule over their emotions...and that too when they are this much strong...it's next to impossible.
Swara was shocked to hear about his painful past and parents. She did assume a little about his past...but all this...she never expected in her wildest dreams. It was heart breaking to hear that. Her head was hurt and paining badly but she could not feel any pain before his...because the pain in her heart after hearing Sanskar, took her far away from her own pain...she had became too numb to react to her own pain.
Sanskar continued, "You know jab bachpan me mujhe chot lagti thi tab meri so called mom ne kabhi meri dressing nahi ki...are dressing to dur ki bat hai...unhe to mujhe chot lagi hai iss baat se bhi kabhi koi farak nahi pada...wo kabhi mere sath nahi thi...dad to ese bhi apne business me hi rehte the aur mom ko kabhi apni kitty parties se fursat nahi mili...mai to jaise unke liye kabhi jaroori tha hi nahi...I was UNWANTED for them... From that time I started believing there is nothing so called LOVE exists." There was so much of pain in his voice that anyone hearing him would have screamed and cursed his parents and if any parents would had heard all that, they surely had been the best parents in the world after hearing from a child what importance, in a kid's life. If the role, parents have to play for their kids, don't play it properly then how much it affects that kid's innocence and his life...anyone could had understand from listening Sanskar who literally have had experienced everything.
"Tum janti ho meri ek behen thi...Uttara...hamare parents to kabhi hamare liye present nahi the...but we...we were each other's life...she was the only one who loved me truly, selflessly...tumhe yaad hai tumne uss din bhindi laayi thi, Bhindi used to be my favourite...Uttara mere liye banaya karti thi...aur uss din jab maine tumhare hath ki bhindi khayi...it tasted the same...the same taste of the bhindi cooked by Uttara...your bhindi reminded me of Uttara that day" After a long time over talking about his parents, Sanskar finally smiled a little remembering his sister...Uttara. His eyes spoke volume. Swara could tell he loved his sister more than anything else. His eyes twinkled a bit as soon as Uttara's name came out from his mouth.
"Where is Uttara?" Swara asked him softly as she felt something wrong when Sanskar was talking about Uttara. Swara's mind again filled up with many questions...if Sanskar had a sister then why he never did mention her even a once...if Sanskar had a sister then why doesn't she live with him...where was Uttara?????...
"She is not anymore...you know because of whom?...because of my so called mother. Before five years, she took Uttara for shopping and Uttara was really happy. I tried my best to stop her because I knew that lady hated Uttara...because she wasn't her real kid...because she was the result of my dad's extra marital affair...Uttara went with her and never came back...for world she died in an accident but I know she was murdered...everything was pre - planned....From that day my somewhat remained little belief on the word MAA vanished completely forever and I started hating everything in this world. " Sanskar's voice started shaking by then and tears started brimming in his eyes. Sanskar's pain was unbearable and not imaginable. It would have been so terrible for him to live with the fact that his own mother was a murderer...his own mother had killed his sister...had snatched away the only person who loved him unconditionally. No one could imagine what pain he must have gone through and go through every day, every minute...every single second.
Swara closed her mouth with her palm in shock. Tears welled up in her eyes. His every instance from his past, his every painful memory was coming as a shock to her. It was breaking HER from inside. She could only think of how much pain he had inside him. All what she wanted at that time to hug him...to soothe his pain...no matter how she was going to do that...but she just wanted to ease his pain at that time. But she didn't get up from her place. Sanskar needed to let out everything in him. It was clearly visible that he had never talked to anyone about this matter. He had so much inside him.
Sanskar laughed sarcastically continuing where he had stopped, "Now my dad is in London enjoying with his uncountable girlfriends and night stands...my so called mom is in new York busy in preparations of her fourth marriage...and here am I...but no worries...they sends me a huge amount of money every month...they call me...to ask whether I need more money...and that's it...from the day they left, no one of them did ask me even once about me, about how am I?...and of course why will they ask? They never loved me...They never cared for me...they always think I need only money...But I don't think they are going to ever understand...I needed THEM not their bloody MONEY."
Tears were rolling down Swara's cheeks hearing about the cruel life Sanskar had been facing. She was grown up in a loving and sweet family. She very well knew what parents mean for a kid...how their love, care, affection and support are needed for a kid to grow in right direction. Sanskar was the live example of how important a family is in a kid's life.
Sanskar laughed bitterly, "Bhagwan itne se khush nahi hua to usne ek aur chapter likh diya meri zindagi me...last year in college I met Kavita...we became friends and I started falling for her seeing her loving and caring nature...my thoughts regarding love and relations started to change...but god couldn't see me happy...he just cannot...she proposed me and we got into a relationship...first some weeks were beautiful but it didn't last for long...wo kehte hai na har cheej jo chamke wo sona nahi hoti...exactly the same case...one day I caught her with her real boyfriend...kissing him...I was shattered...beyond everything...after confronting her I got to know she didn't love me...she never did and she never will...she was just with me for my money and because of dad's name...she wanted dad to recommend her and gave her a best job...I was a gold mine for her...then she had planned to run away with her boyfriend...I was frozen like a statue when she told me all this...for the first time I started believing in love and see what I got...BETRAYAL...And from that time I started hating love stories...she once again strengthen my belief that nothing so called love exists...at that time I decided...I will never love anyone...I will never trust anyone...I will never be a friend of someone...I will never get into any relationship...I will never form any relations...because I had gotten by that time, I am gonna get nothing else except BETRAYAL...BLOODY DAMN BETRAYAL..."
Shock would be an understatement to describe Swara's condition. How could someone be so mean, so selfish...no wonder why Sanskar was so rude to Swara in starting...why he called her mean and selfish JUST LIKE HER...It was not Sanskar's fault...Life had never given him chances to smile...to laugh...every time he trusted someone, they showed him why he shouldn't...Life had always shown him fakeness and selfishness of people...firstly his parents and then Kavita. After receiving so much betrayals in life, it becomes very hard to trust anyone again...to give chance to anyone again...to think not everyone is alike...it's terribly hard.
Taking a deep breath, Sanskar stepped a little ahead towards Swara as he remembered something and said, "You remember the dress I gifted you...oh see I am so stupid...you are wearing it and I am asking do you remember...I had brought this and those other dresses for Kavita...it was our one month anniversary when I go to know about her real face." Logically Sanskar should have thrown those dresses after that but he couldn't...he just couldn't...deep inside his heart knew, someday someone would be there to value them. Maybe they just weren't for Kavita.
"I was already broken...was somehow holding myself...but she...she just broke me in every sense...scattered me in pieces...left me to do nothing but TO HATE LOVE." Finally he spoke his heart out to her. He opened all the closed chapters in book of his life in front of her. He showed her his complete life till now.
TO BE CONTINUED...
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NOTE: So guys this was it...all the revelations about Sanskar's past, you have been waiting for from past five updates. I know many of you thought it would be a girl's betrayal towards Sanskar which led to his shaken trust on love as this SS started. But if you have noticed, I have always shown extreme reactions of Sanskar, extreme pain within him and extreme hatred towards everything...so it can't be due to just a girl's betrayal...his past must contain everything as strong as the intensity of his pain I have portrayed till now. I tried my best to pull it off but I dont know if I did or not. I am way too much nervous about this part.
Lots of Love
-Harshada
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DO SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS PLEASE.
From my very first work here, I see some common UNs in likes. Guys I would be really grateful if you could manage to put few words about this as this was the main part of this SS, of course only if you feel this is worth commenting for.😊
Edited by Alvapriya - 9 years ago
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
