Swasan SS: Love lost and found part 2 on p3

"Missing her was worse than a terminal illness. At least when you were terminal you knew the pain was going to end eventually. But there was no light at the end of my tunnel. Grief was going to devour me, day into night, night into day, and although I might feel like I was dying from it, might even wish I was, I never would. I was going to have to walk around with a hole in my heart forever. If you don't know what I mean or you think I'm being melodramatic, then you've never really loved anyone."
Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

"You didn't join us for the aarti again" Lakshaya said as he entered his room

"Lucky please I am not in the mood for a conversation" Sansakar brushed him off

"Sanskar please how long will this go on? For the past three months you have been confined to this room. Torturing yourself won't bring her back. She would have been so angry to see you like this" Laksh said

"I don't know what she will say Lucky because she is gone. She died right in front of my eyes. I killed her" He shouted

"Sanskar how many times do I have to tell you that it was not your fault. Rajat was the culprit" Laksh said

"No Lucky I promised her that I would always protect her and I failed" Sanskar wailed

"No Sanskar I can vouch for her if she was here she would tell you that you never failed her. However the way you are acting right now would have caused her a lot of grief" Laksh tried to make him see reason

"You don't get it Lucky none of you do. Tell me have you ever lost someone that you loved dearly. If Ragini was to drop dead this instant would you be able to live? This what I am right now is the best I can do so please leave me alone" Sanskar shouted

"Sanskar..."

"Lucky please just go from here go back to your happy life" He said pointing at the door

Laksh gave him a sorrowful look and left the room.

Life is so cruel sometimes. We go through so many things in our lifetime. We are so nave to believe that some things will never happen again. Certain painful events that shake us to our very core that change the course of our entire life. While going through this event we believe that the universe owes us one but sometimes we are wrong. The hardest question that we ever face is how do we move on? No one understands our grief. The pain of not seeing your loved one ever again. Not being able to feel them or tell them how much we love them. Not being able to see their smile that lights up the entire room. Sansakar had been inflicted with this pain before. However this time the pain was different. She had entered into his life and soothed his pain. Who will sooth his pain now? These thoughts were circulating in his mind as he made his way to the dressing table. He looked at her earrings and bangles. He touched them softly trying to feel the person who once wore them. Sansakr looked at a business card that hadn't been on the table yesterday. Laksh must have left it when he came in the room. The card belonged to a psychiatrist called Nita Singh. Laksh had scribbled something on the back of the card.

"She is the most well reputed mental health professional in Kolkata. I already scheduled you an appointment. Please go if not for me than go for her. You really need this. I don't want to lose my brother again"

"My family thinks I am mad. Yes maybe I am mad because I am madly in love with you. Please Swara please come back to me" He said while looking at her picture.

After scrolling through their pictures together for an hour Sansakar looked at the card again. Maybe he should go. Kavita's Sanskar had almost destroyed everything in his grief and anger however Swara's Sansakar was different.

He got ready and for the first time in three months he finally stepped out of the house. The doctor's clinic was sparsely clean. He greeted the receptionist who asked him to wait for his turn. His name was called and he finally made his way inside the doctor's cabin. It was a warm and inviting place lit by candlelight.

"So Mr Maheswari what brings you here today?" Nita asked

"My wife has been presumed dead for the past three months" He said and began telling her about his life story

"I can tell from the depth of your emotions that you really loved her. Do you blame yourself for her death?" She asked

"I do maybe if I would have waited for the police or stopped him some other way she would have survived"

"You don't know that. You need to absolve yourself of this guilt. Numerous people come to me every day and you know what I have noticed. We love blaming ourselves or other people because sometimes we just need a reason when the situation is completely unreasonable" She advised

"The events of that day haunt me every night. I don't sleep. I barely eat. I don't know what to do with this grief or this anger" He said helplessly

"Channel it into something positive. Did Swara have a dream or a future plan?" She asked

"Well once she said that she wanted to open a music school. She was really fond of music and she wanted people to recognise its importance"

"So open one what's stopping you. You are one of the most well- known business man in the city. I think it's a great initiative. Don't waste your life rotting away in your room. Show everyone how much you loved her" She suggested

"A part of me thinks that she is alive. They never found her body. Do you think she is alive" He asked innocently

"I can't answer that because I simply do not know. However miracles do happen. The only thing I can say is be the man she fell in love with so that wherever you meet again in this life or in the hereafter she is not disappointed" She said

"Thank you. Can I come here once a week?" He asked

"Sure you can come the same time every week. You have suffered a great deal it's time to heal now. When you strive to become better trust me everything around you will become better. See you next week" She said

Sansakar walked out of the room with a plan. As soon as he reached his car he dialed his secretary's number.

"Akash are you at the office right now?"

"Yes sir do you need another file. I can bring it to your house" Akash asked

"No I am coming to the office can you please schedule an investor meeting for tomorrow also ask everyone in the office to be present. I want to discuss the new project details with everyone"

"Yes sir anything else?"He asked

"No that's all" Sanskar said and switched off the phone.

All his coworkers were surprised to see him in the office that day. He asked his colleagues to draft a business plan outlining the budget and the number of staff involved.

"Sir money is not an issue but it will be nice if we can get a well know rock star to endorse the school or perform at the inaugural ceremony" Akash suggested

"You are right prepare a list of potential candidates. Do you guys have anyone in mind" He asked the team

"Sir please let's call Sahil Sharma he is the latest singing sensation nowadays. I am sure a lot of people will join the school due to him" Meeta one of his coworkers suggested

"Okay set up a meeting with this Sahil guy whenever he is free"

"Okay sir I will do that and get back to you" Akash said

Everyone in his family was elated to know that he had finally went to the office. Later that night he addressed another email to her.

"Swara I was reading something the other day."I think the purest of souls, those with the most fragile of hearts, must be meant for a short life. They can't be tethered or held in your palm.
Just like a sparrow, they light on your porch. Their song might be brief, but how greedy would we be to ask for more? No, you cannot keep a sparrow. You can only hope that as they fly away, they take a little bit of you with them."
Emm Cole, The Short Life of Sparrows

Maybe you are a sparrow too Swara and I hope wherever you are you have a part of me with you. I love you Swara"

1900 km away in Mumbai a girl woke up thinking somebody had called out her name.

A/N:Please excuse the spelling mistakes in the character's names. Hope you guys like it. Also anyone who wants me to pm them the next update should send me a buddy request. Do share your feedback😊