Per Angusta Ad Augusta FF - Updated Oct. 14 - FINALE! Pg.37 - Page 20

Originally posted by: flutterby

am missing ur updates as well... 😳 more than that i am missing the whole group... 😭 🥺

Originally posted by: lakshmi_3004

which group?? 🤔

@Mahi its high time re 😡

Originally posted by: flutterby

@bold... almas, u, jo,sayanti, mona,kani, richie, ( bitchplease) and mahiii 🥺

Author's Note:

First off, I'm so sorry for keeping you all waiting for so long. I had to deal with a few things as well as two jobs. I will try my best to post more regularly from now on.

So usually I just dive right into the update, but this one is special so I had to add an author's note. The second part of this chapter was not only the first scene that came to my mind months ago but also the first part of this story that I ever wrote. One day, just out of nowhere this scene came to my mind.. like it actually played in my mind. I ignored it but every time after that when I wasn't doing anything else, it kept popping back in my mind until one day I had to get it out of my mind and on the paper (or the computer, but you get the point). Of course, the specifics I edited later when I had more of an idea of where the story was going. So there you go, you're about to read the chapter that was the main inspiration of this entire Fan Fiction. Hope you like it.

ALSO, I know the wait was too long but I did finally find a title for my FF!!

"Per Angusta Ad Augusta"

It's a Latin saying that means "through difficulties to honors" which I think is a perfect title for this FF! What do you think?

Part 18 - You know You Are in Love When the Hardest Thing to do is Say Goodbye

Dean had been keeping a close watch on Emery ever since the show-down with Ghazer. He hadn't left her side for 19 hours while she was out. It was like her mind needed to shut down to comprehend everything she had learned earlier from Ghazer. Ghazer. That evil thing had been watching her her entire life. He had been not only watching her but controlling her life as well. He took her mother and her brother away from her. Forever. In one second, her life altered. Drastically. After Emery woke up and had a chat with Dean, she realized that she was in love with him and he with her. Even though Dean never used any words, she could finally see his aura clear enough. And that was the moment she made a very important decision.

The next day, Cas and the Winchesters were talking about Ghazer. Cas thought that Ghazer might be a Norse god. They were still discussing it when Emery walked in. She looked pale, very pale. Everyone was quiet for a few seconds.

"Have you found anything?" Emery asked, in a voice barely audible.

"We... uh... we were just talking about... you know who," Sam replied not knowing how she would react to the name.

"And?" Emery needed to know if they had a better idea now what it was. She was also a little annoyed that Sam thought she was weak enough not to be able to hear that evil bas***d's name, but he meant well so she ignored it.

"Cas thinks it's a Norse god," Those were the first words Dean uttered all this time. He was quietly observing Emery, making sure she won't fall weak.

"Yes, and a very powerful one at that. I have to dig further to confirm but I may know a way to kill Gh... it," Cas confirmed.

"Seriously, what's going on with not taking that evil sonofabitch's name. It's Ghazer. You can say it. And it just makes me more motivated to send it to hell," Emery finally snapped. Then she took a moment to calm herself and added sighing, "I'm sorry. It's just you keep treating me like this fragile thing that's going to break any second. But I am not. I won't. Trust me." Sam and Dean nodded.

"You have to more careful now. Now you two are standing between Ghazer and Emery so he will definitely come after you two as well," Cas explained to Sam and Dean.

"Maybe we should split up," Emery suggested. Sam and Dean looked at her as if she had gone nuts but she continued. "Think about it. It makes sense. Ghazer would have to choose to come after one of us and the other one would have a better chance."

Dean refused right off the bat. "Not happening. We started this together. We're gonna end it together."

"But..."

"No buts. We're sticking together." That ended that discussion and Sam nodded.

"Be very careful. Ghazer is very powerful, more than we had imagined before. He's not just any Norse god, he's way more powerful. I am not sure y I will return as soon as I have anything definitive." And with that, Cas was gone. Sam and Dean shook their heads, being too familiar with Cas's sudden appearances and disappearances while Emery was still lost in thoughts.

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Emery wasn't very fond of the dark because evil things hid in it. Dark enveloped any and everything if you weren't careful. However, it also provided a much needed cover to do something you couldn't do in broad daylight. Emery appreciated the dark for that. She was about to leave Sam and Dean without telling them. It was unfair to the both of them, but she had to do it. If they were awake, they would find a way to stop her. At this point, she couldn't risk that. She knew that she should just leave. The more she stalled, the more her resolve would crumble. Just a simple glance at them would stop her, seeing what she was leaving behind would stop her in her tracks, and it would break her heart all over again. Still, she just could not convince herself to leave without stealing a last glance at them. Slowly opening the door, she stealthily stepped inside the boys' room. Her heart fluttered looking at the peaceful sleeping faces of Dean and Sam. What she wouldn't do to keep them that way. Peaceful and safe. When her eyes landed on Dean, she was too tempted to run her fingers through his hair, to touch him one last time. But she couldn't. Sighing, she flicked her eyes to Sam. He was the only one who had filled the void in her heart after Adrian's death. She had begun to love him almost as much as she loved Adrian. Even though her heart was breaking having to leave the two guys that were now her family, she couldn't help smiling. Just a few months ago, if anyone had told her that she would have such strong feelings for anyone, her response would have been a bitter laugh. She had been alone far too long and had come to believe that that was just the way she would spend the rest of her life. Alone and miserable. She didn't have a family. She had no one. And yet here she was standing now, looking at the two men she cared deeply about. She couldn't deny that she was in love with Dean. Not anymore. Not when her heart was breaking just at the thought of never seeing him again. She had to leave before she put them in more danger.

Tiptoeing out the room and gently closing the door behind her, she picked up the duffle bag she had left on the threshold and threw it over her shoulder. With a heavy heart, she started walking away from them, from the two people she couldn't afford to lose but had to, to keep them safe. She was a good half a mile down the road when she heard Dean's voice, "Running away, huh? Without even bothering to say goodbye?" His voice was barely repressed rage.

Emery turned around, only to look into Dean's fuming eyes. "You should really wear a coat, you know." Emery's comment was more than just a distraction. Before stepping out in the freezing cold, he should've worn a jacket. Dean's gaze was fixed on her. He took a few steps towards her without saying a word. She never flinched under his gaze before, but this time she couldn't help it. She could tell by his aura that he was furious and hurt. That made a deadly combination. With a sigh, she started explaining, "I must do this alone, Dean. You heard Ghazer. Being around the people I care about makes me vulnerable. And I can't afford to be vulnerable because it's too powerful. I'm gonna kill it, Dean. And I need to do it alone."

"Do you even remember the effect he had on you last time?" Dean was still furious but his voice softened a little. He blinked a couple times, even thinking about Emery being anywhere near Ghazer hurt.

"Last time I wasn't prepared. He took me by surprise. Now it's a full blown war. I'm gonna go after it and kill it, Dean. I Am. But you and Sam need to be safe. I need to be away from you two for my and your safety." Dean looked like was about to say something when Emery added, "Please, Dean, please agree with me once without arguing. Please."

Dean could see in Emery's eyes how much she meant every single word she said. And he hated that. He hated not being around the people he cared for. He hated when the people he loved didn't let him protect them. Suddenly this last thought struck him like lightening. He loved Emery. For the first time in his life, he had truly fallen in love. Something he thought would never happen actually had. He loved Emery. He loved her. Words failed him so after a few moments of silence, he reluctantly nodded. Emery gave him a weak smile while Sam stepped out of the motel room.

"You're leaving," Sam said. It wasn't a question. In fact, he didn't look surprised as if he was expecting it. "I knew you would leave sooner or later. I just kept hoping it'd be later rather than sooner."

Emery smiled and walked towards Sam as he stood uncomfortably by the door. She reached out and hugged him. Right next to his ear, she whispered, "Please take care of yourself and Dean for me. And no matter what happens, don't let him come after me. Please, Sammy." She took a step back to look at him, to make sure he'd heard her. The sudden rigidity in his posture and the curt, stiff nod indicated that he had.

With a reassuring smile, she turned around and saw Dean standing at the same spot. She started walking back towards him and at the same time away from him. Something about this silent Dean just bothered her, but she couldn't do anything about it. Not right now. Passing by him, she gave him a momentary look before continuing to walk in the direction away from the boys. She had to force herself to take one step after the other, knowing that if she looked behind, she might just change her decision and stay back with the two guys she loved. She was about to step into the woods, when she heard Dean call her name. Sighing, she tried to keep her emotions in check. Dean had to understand. She didn't have the energy to fight with him. She turned just in time to fall into Dean's arms as he pulled her close in a hug. Her arms instinctively wound around his neck and her head rested on his shoulder while his arms were tightly wrapped around her. Taking deep breaths to sort his emotions, he whispered in her ear, "I love you." Emery released a breath she had no idea she was holding. She took a step back and he reluctantly let her, but his arms were still around her refusing to let go just yet. She looked in his eyes and was quite taken aback. Even though she had felt his feelings for her, she thought he'd never voice them. But he did. He seemed so vulnerable. Something he never was. "Don't.. don't say anything. Just promise me that you'll come back to me. Please," he said with so much emotion that Emery just wanted to hug him tight and never let go.

Dean Winchester had confessed his feelings for her. He was never the sharing type. In fact, he believed in hiding all of his feelings within him so no one would ever know how he really felt, but he trusted her enough to share his deepest feelings with her. He had opened up a side of himself that no one other than the people closest to him ever saw. Emery wanted to do the same but just couldn't find her voice. Right now she only should think about what she had to do. She didn't need any distractions. Right. Like her feelings for Dean could be considered a distraction. The heaviness of her heart reminded her that she needed to do this. After her brother's death, she hadn't really cared about anything. She just wanted to kill as many evil things as possible before any of them destroyed another family. Lately, the need to protect Dean and Sam overwhelmed her. So much so, that their safety seemed to be the only constant thing on her mind. She had finally found a reason. Something worth living for.

Emery wanted to say so much, but time was of essence here. She needed to hunt Ghazer down. Silently with a smile, caressing Dean's face with her right hand, she nodded, then after a few moments that just weren't enough, she turned around and walked away.

Cold wind was biting into Dean's skin, yet he couldn't feel anything but the knots tightly forming around his heart and the fear settling in the pit of his stomach. He fiercely shook his head. She would come back. She would have to come back to him.

"Cas, just look after her. Please," Dean whispered.

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