Posted:
"Suhani, let him go."
"What do you mean, 'let him go'--I've let him go. He's the one who doesn't want to let go."
"Come on, Mother India, you know he's selfish. He wants to hold you even when he gives you nothing of himself. That time he was drunk? What did he say--just not to leave him, nothing about love. Just that he's lonely without you. And he forgot."
"It's none of your business, Rohanji, it's between him and me. Why are you interfering?"
"Because. Because I can be all that he's not. I like you as you are, I not only don't care if you play in the mud or drip water around, I'll join you. We can have fun together. . ."
"Stop! I'm married, how can you even say this? I love him."
"And I love you. You can learn to love me. What's the use of loving Yuvraj? He's kept you on ice for a year, what does he want? That you should wait forever? Let him live his life with a Suitable Girl, the Princess of his dreams. You can be the queen of mine."
She was shocked, he could see--and that he had expected from her. She was loyal to a fault. He didn't take her love for Yuvraj very seriously--she loved everyone, even Snoopy. He could win her over and would be better for her.
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HOW DARE YOU COMMENT ON OUR LIVES? HOW DARE YOU EVEN CONSIDER ME AS PART OF YOUR LIFE? Leave me alone. Leave us alone."
"Tum toh aise react kar rahi ho jaise I've said something terrible. Socho--don't you want a normal life, a family, children? Are you going to spend your best years here, being ridiculed and humiliated while your so-called husband looks on--looks on, kya--woh bhi toh taane maarne se chuukta nahi--and you take care of these shallow, uncaring people? Itna bhi achha hona achhi baat nahi hai. Leave, divorce him. Once you're out of the picture, he will marry some pretty, fair girl and everyone will be happy, except maybe Brother India. Chalo, abhi kuchh matt kaho. Think about it. I'm offering you love and a real marriage. I'm offering you the chance to give him his happiness too."
She felt like her heart had cracked apart, oozing pain. Rohan had said the things she had felt, but never articulated, because it would make them too real, too unavoidable. But Rohan? She didn't in the least see Rohan as a replacement for Yuvraj. Maybe he was right, though.
They were both stuck, she and Yuvraj. He seemed fine with carrying on like this. Maybe she was, too, because she so wanted him in her life. But it was beginning to irk. Sometimes she wanted to leave just for the eventual relief she would (hopefully) find if she cut herself off from constantly being around him and constantly reminded that she may be important to him as a friend, but she was unacceptable as his wife.
That evening of the party--or, rather, the morning after, had been so hard to bear, so difficult to endure silently after the way her hopes had risen, the way her heart sang after the previous evening. Troubled as she had been at Yuvraj's state, she had cherished his words, his need, his touch. And it all came to nothing. It would always come to nothing.
"What do you mean, 'let him go'--I've let him go. He's the one who doesn't want to let go."
"Come on, Mother India, you know he's selfish. He wants to hold you even when he gives you nothing of himself. That time he was drunk? What did he say--just not to leave him, nothing about love. Just that he's lonely without you. And he forgot."
"It's none of your business, Rohanji, it's between him and me. Why are you interfering?"
"Because. Because I can be all that he's not. I like you as you are, I not only don't care if you play in the mud or drip water around, I'll join you. We can have fun together. . ."
"Stop! I'm married, how can you even say this? I love him."
"And I love you. You can learn to love me. What's the use of loving Yuvraj? He's kept you on ice for a year, what does he want? That you should wait forever? Let him live his life with a Suitable Girl, the Princess of his dreams. You can be the queen of mine."
She was shocked, he could see--and that he had expected from her. She was loyal to a fault. He didn't take her love for Yuvraj very seriously--she loved everyone, even Snoopy. He could win her over and would be better for her.
"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HOW DARE YOU COMMENT ON OUR LIVES? HOW DARE YOU EVEN CONSIDER ME AS PART OF YOUR LIFE? Leave me alone. Leave us alone."
"Tum toh aise react kar rahi ho jaise I've said something terrible. Socho--don't you want a normal life, a family, children? Are you going to spend your best years here, being ridiculed and humiliated while your so-called husband looks on--looks on, kya--woh bhi toh taane maarne se chuukta nahi--and you take care of these shallow, uncaring people? Itna bhi achha hona achhi baat nahi hai. Leave, divorce him. Once you're out of the picture, he will marry some pretty, fair girl and everyone will be happy, except maybe Brother India. Chalo, abhi kuchh matt kaho. Think about it. I'm offering you love and a real marriage. I'm offering you the chance to give him his happiness too."
She felt like her heart had cracked apart, oozing pain. Rohan had said the things she had felt, but never articulated, because it would make them too real, too unavoidable. But Rohan? She didn't in the least see Rohan as a replacement for Yuvraj. Maybe he was right, though.
They were both stuck, she and Yuvraj. He seemed fine with carrying on like this. Maybe she was, too, because she so wanted him in her life. But it was beginning to irk. Sometimes she wanted to leave just for the eventual relief she would (hopefully) find if she cut herself off from constantly being around him and constantly reminded that she may be important to him as a friend, but she was unacceptable as his wife.
That evening of the party--or, rather, the morning after, had been so hard to bear, so difficult to endure silently after the way her hopes had risen, the way her heart sang after the previous evening. Troubled as she had been at Yuvraj's state, she had cherished his words, his need, his touch. And it all came to nothing. It would always come to nothing.
