Posted:
Hey guys!
I know I said OS 'I thought I knew you' was... well an OS, but some of you asked for a continuation. So here you go!
Ive taken a little creative licensing on this one, so I apologise if it seems a little OOC... I have tried to keep Yuvraj in character, but I had to add a touch of intelligence...
Enjoy
Samcek
Yuvraj sat silently on his bed, watching a sliver of light that had somehow weaved its way through the curtain.
"That wouldn't happen if Suhani was still here," he thought to himself.
It was one of many Suhani related thoughts he found himself having these days.
It was ironic really. When she was here, he hadn't really noticed her presence. Sure, from time to time they'd talk, she'd argue... They even laughed.
But he'd never really noticed her; she went about her day, he went about his day... And sometimes they crossed paths.
She was right, it could hardly be considered a marriage.
He rolled over, trying to find some sort of solace, some kind of peace. Yuvraj followed the light along the floor, and over a pile of clothes and other random items that seemed so out of place.
"They wouldn't be there if Suhani was still here. She would have put everything away."
It seemed sleep would be alluding him yet again.
He couldn't understand it really. He didn't want to marry her. She wasn't the girl he'd grown up daydreaming of, she didn't possess any of the characteristics that he usually went for in woman.
So why the hell was he still thinking about her?
Why did he beg her to stay?
He hadn't heard anything from her in 7 days... 7 days that felt like months.
Sure, he'd tried calling her.
Just to make sure she was ok though.
He'd messaged her a few times too, but she'd never replied. He'd gotten a little worried after that, so Yuvraj had sent a driver to her parents house, just to make sure she was there.
Unfortunately, Suhani had spent most of the day indoors so he had to make the driver wait a few hours or so... Just to make sure she wasn't ill or something... She'd looked a bit pale when she'd left.
What if she was sick? Wouldn't he be a bad husband if he didn't check up on her? What if she needed him?
"She's not your wife anymore..."
Yuvraj swallowed a lump that appeared in his throat at that thought. He reached over to the side table on her side of the bed, feeling around for the object that summed up his failure.
Her mangalsutra.
The day she left, he'd left it on the bed, assuming she'd come back.
On the second day he'd put it in his drawer, annoyed at her childishness, for refusing to return.
On the third day he'd taken it out of the drawer and placed it on her pillow.
On the fourth day he couldn't sleep, and had counted the beads 4 times over before he drifted off.
On the fifth day he'd slept with it under his pillow, holding onto it all night.
On the sixth day Yuvraj had taken to carrying around in his pocket all day. He didn't know why, but knowing it was there soothed him.
It hadn't left his side after the sixth day.
Dadi had asked where it was, making some snide remark or other about Suhani taking it with her. Yuvraj had pulled it out of his pocket and shown her, quickly returning it before she could ask for it.
It didn't belong to Dadi anyway, it belonged to his wife.
"She's not your wife anymore..."
Well, technically she was. She hadn't filled the divorce papers, so by law she was still his.
"Was she ever mine though?"
Of course she was, it was a stupid question. She'd been his, heart, mind and soul. Suhani had catered to his every need, his every wish... She'd adapted herself to his likes and dislikes, moulding herself around him and his family above all else. She had loved his mother like her own, Sharad had become her brother; even Ragini and Menka struggled to find fault with her.
"Was it not enough?"
He wrapped her mangalsutra around his hand and began counting off the beads, trying to quiet his mind.
1...
2...
3...
"Was it not enough?"
4...
5...
6...
"If it wasn't enough, why wasn't it?"
7...
8...
9...
"Why couldn't she be here? Didn't she know he was hurting?"
10...
11...
12...
"But she's hurting too..."
Yuvraj paused, brushing his thumb along the chain that had once adorned her neck. No matter how hard he tried, all thoughts eventually led back to her.
Her only sin in this giant mess had been loving them all too much, when none of them deserved her love in the first place.
His mother and Sharad had lied to her... though they'd done it with the best intentions.
Rags and Menka had been cruel to her, teasing her at every available opportunity.
Dadi had treated her like the dirt she compared Suhani too, only seeing her skin colour, blind to everything beyond it.
Saumya had betrayed her in the worst way possible... He couldn't even look at her without feeling disgust and rage on behalf of his wife.
But he had been the worst of the bunch... He had sat back and watched it all happen, never speaking up; watching as his wife was disrespected in her own home.
Yuvraj felt that familiar ache in his chest grow. Each day it ate away at a little bit more; each day he felt a little more empty. A part of him hoped it would swallow him up, maybe then Suhani would see his pain and come back.
She could make this all better by just coming back.
"Why should she come back? What was there to come back to?"
She'd come back because he was hurting of course. Yuvraj turned over, facing her pillow.
"She shouldn't come back because I need her..."
He tentatively reached out with his left hand, her mangalsutra still firmly grasped in his right.
"She should come back because she wants to... because she needs me too..."
Yuvraj grasped her pillow, and slowly pulled it over. He gently placed it beside him, smiling as he realised her scent still lingered on it.
Sandalwood... She always smelt like sandalwood. Warm and earthy...
She smelt like home.
Once she had accidentally used his shower gel and had spent the day smelling like him. Yuvraj's smile grew as he remembered her teasing him about "loving his own smell so much that he tricked her into using it".
He definitely preferred sandalwood.
Yuvraj inhaled deeply, feeling the ache in his chest ebbing away. The scent wouldn't last forever though, soon it would start to fade...
What was he supposed to do when it started to fade?
Would her memories of him fade in time?
Would she move on with her life? Find herself a husband and eat samosa's with him, smiling that beautiful smile?
A feeling he couldn't describe began to grow in his chest at the thought of her marrying someone else... At the thought of Suhani putting him behind her, like Yuvraj was some sort of mistake.
"But she was a mistake..."
Was she though?
Marrying her hadn't been his idea. He'd wanted Saumya.
Saumya with her beautiful face and 100 watt smile... But what else was there to her? She was pleasant to look at, but that was about it. Saumya was nothing more than a beautiful, empty vase. What could you do with such a thing? Stare at it for a while? Put some flowers in it? Then what?
Was that really what he wanted for a wife?
And look at how wrong he'd been about her! Now when he looked at her, he couldn't see that beauty that had once enchanted him... All he could see was the dirt within.
"So what is an ideal wife?"
Yuvraj placed his head on Suhani's pillow, shuffling over to her side of the bed. The only thing he wanted from a wife was for her to love him... If she loved him, she would adapt to him; they would adapt to each other. If she loved him, she would take the good with the bad, she would make him smile when he was down...
She would smell like Sandalwood.
Fin
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
Anupamaa
