Love-shove and such like thoughts

IMO, conventional and unrealistic views of love and romance in Hindi movies and serials (and also in some English ones) often drive people's expectations and behaviour.
First, the silly idea that if someone supposedly loves you, you will/should fall in love with them (as with Suhani and Yuvraj). Maybe it's partly justifiable because books, music, movies, serials all tell people that they are not complete without a partner, and everyone wants a someone significant in their lives.
Then, that romance must accompany love--it's not an unreasonable expectation, but it isn't mandatory either. If we look at yuvraj now (I never saw him mooning over snaky, thank heavens, but obviously he was romantic enough to 'baharon phool barsao'), he's a cold fish. He seems to dislike any signs of affection from anyone other than his mother and dadi--both 'safe' females. I would be fine with a yuvraj who wasn't mushy-romantic, as long as he showed some consistent affection. I have some sympathy for guys who aren't comfortable with hearts and flowers as an expression of love, but show love in practical actions. yuvraj was at least halfway there before the cvs completely screwed things up with a 180 degree turnaround.
That patience, waiting and asking no questions proves love. I think Apu has mentioned something close to this somewhere. Looking back on the pillow-removing night where Suhani told yuvraj that she trusted him and where there's trust there're no questions, I think wt*? Why? How long did you plan to accept this ridiculous status quo? (I mean, come on, even we were all so thrilled by the pillows going, that we were happy to wait 6 more months for the princling to get up the energy to take the next step.) How did you never ask him what, boss, are you normal? You're a 25-yr-old male, and you sleep next to a girl you stopped hating some months ago, but you're too prim to lay a hand on her? What is wrong with these birla guys? Anuj does body-building, princlinng jogs, both seem to have little or no time for their wives, especially physically--are they subsuming their sex drives in other physical activity (apologies if this is too crude)? Saurabh seems the only one who has halfway normal urges (and no other exercise)!
And Apu's bugbear--losing your identity in pleasing the object of your affections. I pity Suhani, really, because for all yuvraj's attitude that he's done something v noble marrying her, he has screwed up her life, ruined her nature, and subjected her to endless humiliation.
That the first love is the last--less of this one now, but still there. Look at snaky, bent on believing that becaue yuvraj once 'loved' her, he must still, especially because he's married to a girl she thinks is far inferior to her. In that case, as she loved Krishna, she should be fixated on HIM, not pursuing the princling with a vengeance.
Love itself is a basis for love. Or, in other words, there need be no reason apart from the fact that you decided you love this person (links back to point 1). What did yuvraj see in snaky? Just looks, right? I can get Suhani's love for yuvraj now, what with proximity, comfort-level (when he isn't being a class A shit), integration of their lives, but what made her 'fall in love' with him? Snaky's lies? His not-nice behaviour?
And, finally, there really is no reason why yuvraj MUST love Suhani--except, of course, that we all (baring sonarikafan, sorry dude) like them together. But his behaviour the past week has been rotten--leave alone friend, husband, roommate, family member, he has acted like a prize creep. Where do they go from here?
Sorry, was just thinking, and as I'm going to be back to busy from Monday, thought I'd take the time and put it down. Am sure there will be much better ideas on this subject

Totally agree .This show always projects grownups as school kids.Is it innocence,ignorance or negligence.Most of the characters do not hv depth including yuvraj.Th creatives themselves shd be confused abt his chracter now.One brother who always wants his wifes attention is shown to be carrying someones lipmarks on his shirt.One brother who is always body building hardly cares for anyone around him inc!duing his wife.wonder how they sent him with dadi h may b s body guard.The brothers hv no idea abt their business or responsibilities.Dadi planning with rzgs and menka is pure silly stuff definitely not what grown ups do.The so called frinedliest SAAS on TV is a mute spectator and wants to b in everyones good books.by the way would also love to see an emotional outburst from pratima where she considers herself responsible for suhanis current state

lol its official love stucks on Valentines day on the SSEL forum lol.

Haha.. Sandi love truly sucks for Suhani si ek ladki story this valentines..thanks to the lovely Cvs who gave a u turn to our expectations this week.. Till last week we were thinking I'd different scenarios of Yuvani for this Valentine.. Stupid us 😆
@ topic maker - very nice post and deep thoughts.. Suhani was a simple girl who had love all around her and because of the positive people in her life and her positive nature she never gave much thought about how life is not always bed of roses and that there are people like Dadi and Ragz and Yuvraj also who perceive things a lot different and she cannot just please all.. I think she was taken by surprise when she came to know Yuvraj liked her.. She was attracted to him just like casually you know like how you meet a guy and like him in general but it does not mean anything.. It's a very natural feeling.. Only when she felt Yuvraj liked her and wanted to spend time with her and looked for excuses to be with her and her bff pushed that thought in her mind did she thought about it a lil more seriously.. It was a mere infatuation which would have died down if her marriage was not fixed with the guy whom she thought loved her and wanted to marry her.. She was a simple girl who probably thought she will marry one day like her Bhavna di and fall in love with her husband.. And this is how it was like her with Yuvraj also..and after marriage when she got adverse atmosphere for the first time her heart sticked to what it thought was there already that is yuvraj's love.. She consoled her heart saying Yuvraj loved her and he wanted her as his wife and she took strength from it to fight this negativity and rejection in life.. She saw things like she wanted.. Small gestures of charity were looking special gestures of love to her.. And in all this she I think fell in love with Yuvraj and what she thought of him.. Once that bubble breaks her love will be there but a lot of other feelings will surface..
Yuvraj also only ha an infatuation for Soumya which could have turned into love if Soumya also reciprocated that time.. In spite of not wanting to change anything by marrying Suhani, Yuvraj's life inevitably changed a lot.. He grew as a person and started learning about what life really all about.. Till Suhani came in his life he was like living in an illusion of what life is.. With Suhani it all changed.. If we ignore last 3 episodes than Yuvraj really started understanding and appreciating Suhani for what she is.. This time he was falling in love and it was not mere attraction.. Because it was way deeper than that..
Now once the truth is out it will lead to Yuvraj's realisation of what SuhAni truly means to him but with it also it would be interesting to see if Suhani will still love Yuvraj the same way when she comes to know that the reason for her falling for yuvraj was nothing but her misunderstanding..

Yeah, Sandi, can understand that Suhani married Yuvraj with the idea that he loved her, and even otherwise, seems Bhavna had an arranged marriage and took time to get to the 'I love you' stage with her husband, so it's not that strange to Suhani, as Bul says. But GIVEN that she thought yuvraj loved her, how was his behaviour (I didn't watch at all those days), what with the pillows and all, justified? How did she never ask why? I guess girls brought up like Suhani wouldn't ask, just accept and think it'll work out, but after all this time, after 16th Jan, still nothing? And how could she miss his callous indifference after the rape attempt/swamp incident--it took her seeing him thrusting the stupid cheapo gift at snaky (if it were me, I would've been relieved I didn't get that ugly thing) to actually have a normal reaction.
Bul3, I agree with a lot of what you say, especially @bold

Originally posted by: Bul3

Suhani was a simple girl who had love all around her and because of the positive people in her life and her positive nature she never gave much thought about how life is not always bed of roses and that there are people like Dadi and Ragz and Yuvraj also who perceive things a lot different and she cannot just please all.. I think she was taken by surprise when she came to know Yuvraj liked her.. She was attracted to him just like casually you know like how you meet a guy and like him in general but it does not mean anything.. It's a very natural feeling.. Only when she felt Yuvraj liked her and wanted to spend time with her and looked for excuses to be with her and her bff pushed that thought in her mind did she thought about it a lil more seriously.. It was a mere infatuation which would have died down if her marriage was not fixed with the guy whom she thought loved her and wanted to marry her.. She was a simple girl who probably thought she will marry one day like her Bhavna di and fall in love with her husband.. And this is how it was like her with Yuvraj also..and after marriage when she got adverse atmosphere for the first time her heart sticked to what it thought was there already that is yuvraj's love.. She consoled her heart saying Yuvraj loved her and he wanted her as his wife and she took strength from it to fight this negativity and rejection in life.. She saw things like she wanted.. Small gestures of charity were looking special gestures of love to her.. And in all this she I think fell in love with Yuvraj and what she thought of him.. Once that bubble breaks her love will be there but a lot of other feelings will surface..
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That is so insightful, but I object to Suahni being made into a moronic fool who can't read foot-high letters written on the wall right in front of her eyes, over and over. I object to the abandonment of her intelligence and spunk.No matter how much you love someone, you can't realistically be so blind. I think we all went along with the irritating somu jaap and the occasional disrespect/indifference/bad behaviour from yuvraj when it seemed that he did actually like her and care for her --and, whether he showed it or not, feel some respect for her. What ruined it all was the turnaround from the picnic track. Now he has to EARN redemption, not get some quick-track makeover to satisfy the viewers who have been enraged.

WOW! 👏👏👏 Again, a very incisive and thought provoking post.

Let me sink my teeth into it.

Why Suhani loves Yuvraj: I think the only reason a girl like Suhani fell for a guy like Yuvraj is because she thought he LOVED her. In Suhani's case, she values, craves and desires love SO MUCH that just the fact that someone else loves her is enough for her to reciprocate. I am a 100% confident that had Suhani known what Yuvraj was actually like, she would never have fallen for him and hated him like she hates Krishna. Due to circumstantial misunderstandings, Soumya's goading and her misconceptions about Yuvraj, she thought he was just a grumpy guy with a heart of gold. Hence, she rationalised that despite not having such a sunny personality, he loves her and this drove her love for him. In contrast, Soumya is not the kind of person who would love a person just because they love her. 😲Why I understand Suhani's love for him is because I have a friend who is just like her, when it comes to love. I have seen her falling for guys she never liked in the beginning, just because she later saw how much THEY liked HER. Suhani is a person for whom relationships and love are the most important part of her life, so she's not choosy about the people she loves.

First love is the last love: Well, this is one of the most enduring concepts of Indian cinema and TV. I think Indian cinema is still moving away from it, but Indian TV is definitely not. 🥱 You see this with KrishYa, most prominently. It is really obvious that they are gonna end up together. They keep giving us regular hints, like Somu's reaction to the letters, her being agog when Dadi presented her with those divorce papers etc. What they wanna say is that although and Dadi and her gang have manged to mislead her, in some deep, dark corner of her heart, she still loves Krishna. In that sense, Yuvraj and Soumya's realisations will be similar. Both of them will realise that they actually LOVE Suhani and Krishna respectively, despite all their pretense. So, Indian TV is really obsessed with monogamy, and the idea of people having HEALTHY relationships with multiple people is an anomaly. This is why, if there is every a love triangle, one person ultimately has to be a villain (AKA Soumya), to justify moving away from them. The idea that Yuvraj could let go of Soumya, EVEN if she were a good person is not something CVs think the audience will accept. 🤔

Love begetting Love: Realistically speaking, Yuvraj doesn't NEED to love Suhani. As you said, we all want him to just because we like them together. In real life, people are not obligated to love someone JUST because they are a good person. We meet a lot of good people, and it's not like we're gonna fall in love with all of them. However, I do feel that YuvAni have a spark that Yuvraj ignores because of his prejudices.So, YuvAni FTW! 😆😆

Read your replies to both posts, Apu, and will reply properly tomorrow. Always enjoy hearing your viewpoint.

I know that Suhani appears needy and she's now appearing to be a people-pleaser, but was she like that back when? I guess it is unfortunately true that sometimes someone loving you (or you thinking they do) is enough to start a process were you imbue them with fictitious qualities that make your falling for them justifiable. But totally agree that " Suhani is a person for whom relationships and love are the most important part of her life, so she's not choosy about the people she loves."

"This is why, if there is every a love triangle, one person ultimately has to be a villain (AKA Soumya), to justify moving away from them. The idea that Yuvraj could let go of Soumya, EVEN if she were a good person is not something CVs think the audience will accept." We really need to grow up and out of this concept that once you've loved a person, a) that love endures for life, no matter what, and b) that nobody else could possibly take that place -- or, shocking, shocking! --a higher position in the hierarchy of the heart. Much as I dislike the character of snaky, as many have said before, there ws no need to make her into an increasingly black villainess. But I still wish that she'd fall off the face of the earth.

"You see this with KrishYa, most prominently. It is really obvious that they are gonna end up together. They keep giving us regular hints, like Somu's reaction to the letters, her being agog when Dadi presented her with those divorce papers etc. What they wanna say is that although and Dadi and her gang have manged to mislead her, in some deep, dark corner of her heart, she still loves Krishna" I so feel this is true--and it took just the reaction she had to Krishna's letter. Makes it even more annoying that we're stuck with her shenanigans to trap the princling.

And yes, the only reason we want yuvraj to go mad with love and desire for suhani is because they are just good together, and the chemistry is awesome. (Want to smack Sahil silly when he keeps making these half-condescending comments about Suhani and yuvraj NOT being in love with her. Not the poor guy's fault, though I feel he's often disrepectful of Rajshri, maybe their personal equation allows it. I woulds still like Sahil to show more courtesy to his leading lady. Sometimes I wonder if he's so bro-like to pacify his girlfriend. Ooops, off-topic.) Obviously the cvs know this, but are miscalculating the tolerance levels--this he-doesn't-yet-love-her has stretched way beyond an optimal point. Now she just MUST throw a tantrum or two, shake up mr. birla, and let's have some love and longing from his side. The cvs are ruining this serial.