I want to establish my identity- Akshayakumar

I loved this line from Akshaya kumar today. Classic case of identity crisis in present generation or something even we have faced in our life. If you have a sibling who is superlative you are compared against him/ her and not treated as an individual.

Same in college, job where we have those cool people, popular people, star performer against whom everyone is compared.

Many times in this so called comparison we end up comparing fish and bird who have unique abilities. But the problem with tradition is that they dont accept unique abilities. If you are a man you are supposed to know certain things never matter you like it or not, similarly if you are a woman you are supposed to know certain things whether you like it or not.

Academic performance is the sole criteria of defining success. Achievements of wealth and power in materialistic terms defines success. Popularity either by fear or by manipulation has to be achieved.

So in this world where to establish identity you have to compete what happens. You perish just like Akshaya kumar whose identity exists because Hanuman kills him.

If you look at Mithila girls did they had identity crisis. Did they compete with one another for getting attention irrespective of having a superlative sister Sita. Answer is no. Why. Sita never made them feel she is special. She is above them. All the mithila girls were given equal chance to prove their mettle. Sita guided them to be equal to herself and she didnt feel any threat in bringing them at par with her. She didnt feel if she gives them everything necessary they no longer will need her. Infact the Mithila girls learn to survive on their own at the time of crisis but at every point longed to meet their sister Sita. Not only Sita Janak and Sunaina also played a role in instilling such a confidence in the girls

Look at Ayodhya boys. Dasrath did treat Ram special which resulted in Kaikeyi wanting to make Bharath Ram's equal. The special treatment by Dasrath and Kaikeyi resulted in coronation mess. But why did the situation came under control. Because of Ram who gave his brothers an oppourtunity to find themselves in his absence, trusting them. Bharath and Shatrughna carve their identity by managing Ayodhya in those 14 years. Ram never feels threatned by it. Lakshman's identity he had choosen to be with Ram. And it is in the service he carves out his identity.

Come to Kishkinda. Bali actually had not allowed Sugreev to flower as a confident young man. Sugreev was under him but it didnt matter to him as Bali never mistreated his brother. But the marriage changes it for Sugreev. Roma's father makes him a warrior and Sugreev gets his identity. And in crisis he maintains his identity with the help of Hanuman his friend and guide.

If the identity establishment happened thorugh enablement from childhood in Mithila. Both Ayodhya and Kishkinda it happened because of people who had dharma in their side and when a situation came they stepped back to give identity to others. So that identity is carved through hard work and dharma. Ram is the voice of Ayodhya and Hanuman voice of Kishkinda that holds Bharath and Sugreev respectively.

What is Lanka. As Vibishan says everyone is searching for identity there and are in chains and perishing. It represents the mindless competition. Where at every point to get favour you have to prove yourself.

And if we look the children of this era are facing this situation. The increasing drug abuse, suicide, marital discords all happen because of identity crisis where we think we have to control and manipulate others to get identity. We have to be over and above others to get identity. But if we could teach that identity is established through giving, it is established through enabling lot of young lives can be saved.

Very well related the seek for identity by today's generation with the characters in the epic !

It seems true that any person with complete knowledge of Dharma will never feel threatened and therefore will enable others in achieving equal state ( As themselves or more) .

And this is whAt Mithila Vasis ,Ram or hanuman display !

Nice and interesting episode .

Flashback scenes used to bring out Ram and hanuman conversation wrt sita ! Choodamani to follow , I am sure.

I have not watched the episode... But still could not resist myself to read ur post 😛

Absolutely true! Mithila is an idealistic society where nothing is wrong.. There's no competition btw the sisters and Janak never compared them with each others

As u said Dashrat did love Ram more than others, so did Janak love sita more than others, both faced questions by Kau and KK on one side and Chandrabhaga on other side but Janak made her believe that his love for Sita cud be more but his duty for the girls will always remain same ... unfortunately Dashrat couldn't do so... But Ram helped him in mending his relationship first with Kau and then finally got situations under control during the coronation...

In Lanka we see the worse case where due to competence first AK then Megh both lost their lives...

Today's era which parent is ideal as Janak all r realistic like Dashrat but to prevent ourselves from becoming worst like Ravan we need to invoke the Ram within us

I attended a workshop about preventing teen suicides that are at an alarming rate in our modern society, Shruthi. The points you have mentioned were discussed as few of the main reasons for these deaths along with cyber bullying and peer pressures. Today when I saw Akshay kumar and his interactions with Ravan it highlighted the fact that without understanding his positives and strengths, his family had tried to mold him according to its own rigid ideas, that has brought not only an identity crisis ,but had driven him to prove himself to his own father and brother. A tragic end for him.

@aditi the problem is expecting worship from kids, kids are not supposed to question, but are parents understanding their concerns. When Mandavi had problem with marriage Janak was willing to listen to her, take blame on himself, how many parents do that for their kids. Then Sumitra a mother who owns her actions keep Ayodhya balanced. She gives her kids to the service willingly. Tara shapes Angad who chooses the path of dharma. But blind obedience results in the destruction of Akshay and Meghnad. The culture we are sending we will see our next generation perishing before us. That's what happens in Lanka

@Savitha you are a mother. And more than me you would have experienced the parenting challenge. But even then I want to tell one thing. Don't burden the child with expectations. Don't burden the child with an identity which is expected in society irrespective of gender. I have faced the worst emotional conflict of identity crisis on what is being a girl, what is being a woman because I loved outdoors more than indoors. I could receive guests and speak to them warmly but cannot prepare a 10 course or leave 5 course meal on my own. My inability to draw beautiful kolams. I still cannot do all these things. I am a functional cook and I cannot draw it is a fact. It took me a lot of effort to come out of the identity crisis and experience the world through the eyes of a woman, to understand a woman and what she stands for. When I look back I always say it is a miracle I didn't commit suicide because my anger I directed towards studies.

Shruthi ,I faced that sort of thing only when I got married in a traditional family .My father's parents were strict in that he had to learn the same things as his sisters...he could cook, clean, wash and even stitch. I sort was naive enough to think that a husband sharing the chores was normal...My brother can and does everything too. My mother never forced the traditional route on me.I knew cooking by observing her but sort was too busy before marriage to really do it. I am trying to pass on the same freedom to my daughters and trust me till now they have never let me down by abusing their freedom. So it has really worked for us, my younger one made a movie for her school project on fighting stereotypes and in the end dedicated it to me and my husband. The teacher called me to mention that...it is one of our proudest moments.

How much of a struggle it is to find footing. An identity for oneself.

Specially so in young students.

But again even we as adults have this struggle.

Awesome post Shruthi