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It was about midnight. Lying outside on the mat, Ram was gazing at the full moon and thinking about his Sita, much like the way after he saw her for the very first time at Gauri Mandir in Mithila. Since evening he had been feeling that Sita was restless today but even the all powerful 'Paalanhaar' of the world failed to decipher its reason. Women, after all, are mysterious in ways more than one! Finally, after unsuccessful attempts at reconciling with his thoughts, Ram got up at once and nodding to Lakshman who stood guarding nearby, walked straight into the cot. Strange as it may sound, but Ram felt an unusual uneasiness in his heart, something that he had never felt before, not even when his father King Dashrath was dying and he subconsciously was sensing that pain through the death of a deer.
'May be, this anxiety is because Sita too is restless today..' , he surmised and again tried putting an end to his thoughts.
'Sitey..' he whispered even before he saw her. And when he saw, his worries only aggravated. Sita wasn't on her mat, but like him, stood watching the moon through the window. He instantly knew something was amiss because Sitey, his Sitey didn't turn to him on his call!
'Please tell me Sitey, did I do something wrong? Why are you upset with me? Did I inadvertently ignore or hurt you? Sitey..I a.. He suddenly was stopped halfway through his sentence. Sita had put her hand on his lips. However, Ram grew even more frantic. WHY DOES SITA HAVE TEARS IN HER EYES?
'Don't ever say that again, Swami.. How can you even think that you can hurt me? YOU? Is it possible?' Sita sounded like a desperate lover who got angry over her beloved but whose voice only and only conveyed immense love for him. Ram gently got her hand off his lips and gave his typical smile.
'Then why are you suddenly behaving this way? Tell me, Sitey.. What is bothering you? I promise I will try my best to relieve you of the anxiety..' Coming close, he wiped her tears. And that was it. The barricade of 'being strong' that was preventing her from breaking down melted and vanished somewhere at the one loving touch of her Ram. Throwing herself in his arms, Sita cried. She cried like a small child who was terrified at the thought of losing her one and only companion while walking through the darkness.
'Sitey.. Sitey what happened?'
'I love you.. I love you so much, Raghu Nandan.. I can't live without you and you know that.. Every pain I can bear in this world but not the pain of your separation.. I will die.. I will just die..' Sita sobbed, making her words louder than usual.. Ram, equally hurt and aghast, brought her more closer to himself.
'Why do you think that we will be separated, Sitey? Don't say that.. Stop those negative feelings..' He murmured slowly as if he was consoling himself and not Sita. Tears abruptly flashed in his eyes too but he had to fight them. He is 'Ram' after all! The most unfortunate thing about being so calm and patient is that the world never understands and accepts your weaknesses. Of course! For Ram, Sita was not in that world but now he had to be her pillar of strength. He couldn't afford to show his own tears to her now, not at all.
'Sitey, don't you yourself say that when we protect Dharma, Dharma protects us? Is it possible to protect Dharma without sacrificing our comforts and needs? Why then wise Janak Nandini is getting fidgety unnecessarily?'
'Sacrifice is sacred, Swami, only if it is made happily by choice and not by force..If this unpleasant feeling really turns real and I get separated from you then it will be the stringent punishment for me ever.. And you call it sacrifice..?' Sita's voice was choked again. She was unable to choose words for her feelings.. No one but only Sita knew what pain she felt within herself that moment. A woman who had whole-heartedly chosen 14 years of exile in forest and had gone through endless agonies and struggles only because she wanted to spend each moment of her life with her husband had to be separated from that husband only? What sort of sacrifice is this? What sort of Dharma is this? No one but only Sita knew what pain she really felt within herself that moment. She didn't at all want to be away from Ram tonight. She hugged him even tighter and cried. Ram didn't try to stop her either. He simply let himself be there for her untamed emotions. He too needed it after all.. He really needed it and so he sat against the wall for long, holding her close to himself, feeling her by his side. Sita buried her face in his chest and Ram gently stroked her hair.. This was indeed a strange moment.. Unsavoury thoughts of separation were making them unusually restless but at the same time, being so close to each other relieved them like never before.. How they both wished that this night never ended and they continued to be in each other's arms forever.. Oh how they both wished that they disappeared somewhere beyond this futile world.. Somewhere where their love attained fulfilment..
'May be, this anxiety is because Sita too is restless today..' , he surmised and again tried putting an end to his thoughts.
'Sitey..' he whispered even before he saw her. And when he saw, his worries only aggravated. Sita wasn't on her mat, but like him, stood watching the moon through the window. He instantly knew something was amiss because Sitey, his Sitey didn't turn to him on his call!
'Please tell me Sitey, did I do something wrong? Why are you upset with me? Did I inadvertently ignore or hurt you? Sitey..I a.. He suddenly was stopped halfway through his sentence. Sita had put her hand on his lips. However, Ram grew even more frantic. WHY DOES SITA HAVE TEARS IN HER EYES?
'Don't ever say that again, Swami.. How can you even think that you can hurt me? YOU? Is it possible?' Sita sounded like a desperate lover who got angry over her beloved but whose voice only and only conveyed immense love for him. Ram gently got her hand off his lips and gave his typical smile.
'Then why are you suddenly behaving this way? Tell me, Sitey.. What is bothering you? I promise I will try my best to relieve you of the anxiety..' Coming close, he wiped her tears. And that was it. The barricade of 'being strong' that was preventing her from breaking down melted and vanished somewhere at the one loving touch of her Ram. Throwing herself in his arms, Sita cried. She cried like a small child who was terrified at the thought of losing her one and only companion while walking through the darkness.
'Sitey.. Sitey what happened?'
'I love you.. I love you so much, Raghu Nandan.. I can't live without you and you know that.. Every pain I can bear in this world but not the pain of your separation.. I will die.. I will just die..' Sita sobbed, making her words louder than usual.. Ram, equally hurt and aghast, brought her more closer to himself.
'Why do you think that we will be separated, Sitey? Don't say that.. Stop those negative feelings..' He murmured slowly as if he was consoling himself and not Sita. Tears abruptly flashed in his eyes too but he had to fight them. He is 'Ram' after all! The most unfortunate thing about being so calm and patient is that the world never understands and accepts your weaknesses. Of course! For Ram, Sita was not in that world but now he had to be her pillar of strength. He couldn't afford to show his own tears to her now, not at all.
'Sitey, don't you yourself say that when we protect Dharma, Dharma protects us? Is it possible to protect Dharma without sacrificing our comforts and needs? Why then wise Janak Nandini is getting fidgety unnecessarily?'
'Sacrifice is sacred, Swami, only if it is made happily by choice and not by force..If this unpleasant feeling really turns real and I get separated from you then it will be the stringent punishment for me ever.. And you call it sacrifice..?' Sita's voice was choked again. She was unable to choose words for her feelings.. No one but only Sita knew what pain she felt within herself that moment. A woman who had whole-heartedly chosen 14 years of exile in forest and had gone through endless agonies and struggles only because she wanted to spend each moment of her life with her husband had to be separated from that husband only? What sort of sacrifice is this? What sort of Dharma is this? No one but only Sita knew what pain she really felt within herself that moment. She didn't at all want to be away from Ram tonight. She hugged him even tighter and cried. Ram didn't try to stop her either. He simply let himself be there for her untamed emotions. He too needed it after all.. He really needed it and so he sat against the wall for long, holding her close to himself, feeling her by his side. Sita buried her face in his chest and Ram gently stroked her hair.. This was indeed a strange moment.. Unsavoury thoughts of separation were making them unusually restless but at the same time, being so close to each other relieved them like never before.. How they both wished that this night never ended and they continued to be in each other's arms forever.. Oh how they both wished that they disappeared somewhere beyond this futile world.. Somewhere where their love attained fulfilment..
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