Originally posted by: mango_pudding1
disclaimer: am only watching this show for the train wreck factor and am not on any team. neither nandini, mouli or kunal (don't think one exists but if it does...😆 hahahahahha...) ... and yes, EMA is wrong and hurtful..
now, this is the kind of situation that has people asking what is love. so really what is it? am reminded of a recent show I watched where the therapist said that love isn't an emotion. it is a decision to commit to someone, to care for them, to honour them. it is an intellectual decision and even if we don't feel those "in love" feelings, once we make that decision, the feelings will follow...
based on the last episode, nandini and kunal are in love. the woman has never felt affection or being cared for. she wanted to be cherished and so fell for kunal. as for him, he says that he knew it was wrong and he fought against it. he is aware that this is going to go wrong in so many ways and yet he makes a vow to her that he loves her...
so what was he doing in a marriage with mouli? now, did she make a mistake bringing another woman into their home when she was trying to just help out? isn't that what good friends do? support each other? or was her mistake not drawing a clear line in their friendship at home? (clear line -- the way we draw a line and servants are not allowed to get involved in family matters even if they are living there full time)
I think her mistake was too much of trust. Even if she wanted to draw the line, where would that line be. She was only thinking about Nandini's recovery and the only person who she could trust with her safety was Kunal. I think the lesson here would be, that if your husband tells you "No, I do not want to spend time with a certain woman, then you should atleast have a passing thought of "Why"
now, the question is did he love mouli as a woman? it makes me wonder. perhaps he loved her as a person but not as a woman? did he ever consider as "the woman"? in our society, we are too quick to say "I love you" when we actually mean that we find the person attractive. many people get into relationships only because they are happy to have someone like them/crush on them. it is not about whether they really like or love the person. was it one of those kind of situations?
Yes, in our society, love has been glorified and attraction not explained or in many cases considered wrong. Hence, even though we have a crush or are infatuated, we give it a name of love because that is acceptable and understandable. Not realizing that its just attraction which fades over time, or can be just admiration. We are so in love with the idea of being in love that we do not stop to think whether its actually love.
Love is important in a marriage but compatibility and understanding play a bigger role in its success and hence i think Kunal and Mauli marriage was a success till Nandini. Their relationship to me has always been comparability, equality, friendship,, companionship and a familiarity that comes after years of staying with a person. He might love her, but was he in love with her?
also, the truth is all sorts of crimes are carried out in the name of love. stalking, rape, acid burns, physical abuse. all these people who perpetuate these crimes do claim to be in love with their victims. so if there is love, why would someone harm them? why can't they let them go? why can't they accept another person's decision to not return that love? even in domestic abuse situations, it is complicated because often there is love involved. just take rajdeep and nandini -- it took her 7 years to walk away and even then she wavered. why? did she love rajdeep?..
so, is there a dark side to love? we often see love as this beautiful pure emotion but when mixed with our insecurities, selfishness and other darkness, does love take on a different hue?
They say love is all about sacrifice and hence if you are truly in love, you would let the other person go. The dark side of love would be hate, which pushes us to do things which we would never do in normal circumstances. But then i think there is gray side, which would be selfishness which would only make us think about ourselves, not caring how its going to affect other people connected to us. So even though love is beautiful, the important thing would be how we would pursue this emotion. By being selfish or by sacrificing. (Of course, the best side would be, to not be selfish or sacrifice, just be in love and spend your life with him/her😛)
No, I do not think Nandini loved Rajdeep but she was so much in love with idea of an ideal companion that she wanted him to change, and she kept waiting and waiting.Hence as soon as he gave the hint that he is changing, she wanted to go to him, thinking that she has finally won. Its the same case in all abusive relationship. The person who is abused, keeps thinking that abuser will change, things will become better, they use excuses to just keep that hope alive but that never happens. That's why its so difficult for them to break away from their abuser because the aim of their life becomes to change their abuser and they feel that if they move away they have lost. But unfortunately, .An abuser is always and abuser and they have lost, the very first day they accept the abuse.
usually affairs that are just physical will fade but here this is emotional and is going to wreck all sorts of damage. kunal and nandini's emotions are entangled with each other and it isn't a simple lust factor.. but if it is a love that will cause havoc and damage to all involved, is that still love? or is it a dark side of love? kunal has made a vow. if this is love, then like a typhoon, there will be damage.
I kept thinking that it is physical but over the course of past days, I realized it is more intense.Right now, they are being selfish, not caring about anyone but themselves and if they continue, its going to create havoc and wreckage, as you said, But at the end, knowing what they have done, will they truly be happy? And if they sacrifice, separate, will they be happy then? No,
Right now they are on the love high but once they start seeing the damage that their love is creating, how its impacting people connected to them, then that might make them strong enough to sacrifice their love and be happy about it. Hopefully its not too late but again this is drama, it has to be late😛.
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