Kunal's eyes went up to the affected portion. He could see the burn clearly. A clench formed his heart to beat faster and he felt a pang he could hardly measure in words.
There was nothing more bad than witnessing the person he cared for go through pain and could do nothing about it. Especially when he knew he was at the centre of it. "I'll heal it Nandini. I'll." Silently he made the promise and they all set off towards home.
It was night when they stepped into the flat.
Nandini mumbled some excuses to Mauli and left for her room. Kunal didn't buy it but he knew going by her innocence and unwatchful nature that Mauli did believe it. Inwardly he felt shrunken and low but he had to maintain a stern look outside.
************
After watching the videos they have shot during the travel, Kunal kissed Mauli to bed. He was tired himself but he pulled his legs and made his way out of the room and after a lot of hesitation his feet took him to Nandini's door. He found himself knocking softly.
There was a dishevelled look as Nandini stood at the open door looking him in the eye . Her eyes were puffy and red. Kunal didn't have to be told what was wrong. He could see his own plague mirror in her eyes. She was as insane as he has been through all this while. "We need to talk." His voice was rasped and pleading, before she could object he pushed through the door and closed it.
The first aid box was in his hand. He gently placed it on the stool beside the cluttered bed and pulled her to him. Nandini gave a muffled sob but Kunal held her for a moment and then made her sit on the bed.
"How have you been?"
Nandini couldn't meet his gaze . " fine."
"Is that how you describe it?" Kunal pointed his eyes towards the things scattered all around the room and turned his pupils back to her. Nandini didn't offer a single word. She was erect as a stone.
Kunal took her shaky hand in her own and applied the ointment. "You shouldn't be here." Nandini spoke in her timid voice. "I know." Kunal observed the red swollen burn and gently placed her hand on her lap. " this pain you inflicted upon yourself would never get its due, and what I cannot return should never have caused you suffering in the first place but it did. And I want to alter the damage Nandini. I can't let you go through from which I can't save you! You need to understand that! I don't deserve your heart! Because I can never reciprocate your feelings. "
A lone tear escaped her eye as Nandini with her big brown eyes looked at Kunal and once more with that one gaze Kunal found his heart hammering in his chest. The pain was irrevocable.
"Forgive me --- I shouldn't have let my thoughts wonder..."
"Don't. " Kunal shook his head.
"You are a good soul Nandini. But the sad part is you happened to come in my life at the wrong time! Wish you had been here a little early! Now it's late. Mauli is my fate. You are the love I can only dream of --- but never attain! You'll always recide in my heart Nandini. " Kunal felt his cheek moist and his gaze hazy with tears. Nandini wiped them with her fingers.
"Tell me what can I give you Nandini? "
"Nothing!"
Then he saw the undecided look on her face and added with diffidence,
" If you do want the physical barrier gone--- forgive me I cannot do that! Forgive me!!" His tone was pleading and tormented.
"Never Kunal! I would never ask that of you! You must know that better if you have ever known me. Physical love is shallow---- it is bound by senses----- I whereas have always craved for a soul that would understand and respect me... love me ! The fact that I have ever hold a place in your heart is enough for me Kunal. How can I want anything more knowing it's never my right to want?"
Nandini wiped her own tears.
"Go Kunal. And don't ever look back. Mauli deserve you. She is the kindest person I have ever seen. Don't ever hurt her. There are thousands of Nandinis in this world and I'll fit in somewhere. Don't worry for me. As for what I need--- as long as I live I'll always cherish this moment! I'll keep it safe in my heart."
Kunal saw the faint smile and the assurance in her eye, yet why couldn't he still calm his heart? Perhaps he knew the answer; perhaps he didn't. But he denied to dwell on it.
**********
The next morning Mauli came running to the dinning room as she announced with broken voice that Nandini had left, where no one knew. She didn't tell anybody. All they had was a note from her telling that she was leaving forever.
Kunal hid his face as he moved to the balcony silently. He didn't want anybody to see the look of destruction on his face or the tears shimmering in his eyes. He had to hide it. Hide his emotions and feelings forever because it was doomed. Their love was doomed. And it was better this way.
--------------- the end----------
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Debate Mansion
Parineeti
Chakravarti Samrat Prithviraj Chauhan
