St Louis Institute of Management.
Garden area, 9:30 PM.
It's been a week since I'm here. I rubbed my arms drawing warmth in the cold weather.
"Hey, let's go back."
I heard Mauli whine for the nth time. Mauli, my first friend here and roomie as well. Turning around, I saw her with a long face. Deciding to tease her, I pulled her nose.
"Ms Roomie, already tired?"
I tried to suppress the bubbling laughter, at her furrowed brows and angry pout. Well, though we share same interests, but exercising is something I love and Mauli loathe. So here we're, strolling after dinner, after bouts of insistence from my side.
Just to tease her, I imitated her earlier expression and ran away giggling, whilst Mauli chased me around.
"Nandini, that's it girl! I'm going inside now. Come soon!"
"Bye lazy!"
I teased her retreating figure and heard her snicker yet again resulting in my giggles. Looking ahead, I found myself in front of boy's dormitory.
Damn! I should just go back!
I thought and whirled around but next moment my feet got stuck in my skirt and I'm all on fours. Groaning in pain, I found a pair of shoes walking up to me. As my gaze traveled up, sharp black eyes stared me amused.
His shoulder shook with mirth, I assumed. Squeezing my eyes, I immediately stood up with only one thing in mind.
Did I made a fool of myself?
Dusting myself, I looked ahead at him with pink cheeks.
"Kunal Rathore."
He forwarded his palm. I could hear a smile in his tone. Embarrassed and nervous, I shook hands and introduced myself timidly.
"N-Nandini Verma."
"New here?"
He queried and I nodded, waiting for heat to evaporate from my cheeks.
"Well, I'm your senior then Nandini. I'm in second year of business management."
He continued, when I didn't reacted. Ain't I looking like a fool again? Gathering some courage, I tried to stretch my lips in a semblance of smile.
"Nice to meet you, Kunal Sir."
Looking for a chance to escape, I chose my words carefully to keep the conversation minimal. Giving a smile, I turned to fled away from his frowning eyes but halted as he called me.
"Would you like to have my notes?"
He offered me notes!
What? Seriously, Notes. Perv! With a clear denial in my mind, I turned around to give him some piece of mind but he beat me into it.
"Look, I.. It's ok, if you don't want to take. I was just trying to help."
His hesitant stance made me almost smile, as his palm scratched his nape. Taking notes from a senior won't harm. My subconscious provided.
"I'll take them."
"You'll?"
He seemed surprised and shocked. Next moment, nodding at my way, he told me to wait and ran towards his dorm's room. It read Room - No. 1007.
Standing alone seemed creepy to me. A minute later, he came back.
"Here!"
Handling me the notes, he smiled and it seems contagious because I mirrored it. Thanking him, I took his leave.
"See you soon!"
I heard him yell behind me. Giggling at his antics, I waved towards him and ran towards girl's dorm.
-------
Never knew, a routine like this would set. Meeting Kunal Sir, in the evening seems like a habit to me. Six months have flown away after that. What I perceived is that, he's a gentleman rather than a pervert, that I assumed him to be in our first meet. I chuckled reminiscing that day.
After Mauli would go back to dorm room, Kunal Sir would be there to give me company.
Though initially, I wasn't comfortable in talking to him but eventually it happened. Even after one month of acquaintance, I used to call him sir but the guy literally begged me to call him by his name, minus sir.
Till the second month, we got to know about each other's family background. I come from an open-minded family whilst his is conservative.
During the passing months, the notes exchange continued and I never bothered to give his notes back and astonishingly, he didn't even asked about them.
The ease we've between us is commendable. The other day, Mauli had teased me with his name. Damn! That girl's brain ran faster than light! We're only friends but yeah, best of friends.
"I'm tired Nandu! Going to room. Come soon. Okay?"
With this, she walked back.
"Nandini! Sorry dear. Got late today."
There he is. I just shook my head and gave him a small smile.
"So, How was your day?"
Here is his telltale question, which kick-start our evening chats.
---------
Today's Sunday. So I decided to give Kunal his old notes back and bring the newer ones. Mauli had reprimand me today with the increasing piles of paper at my desk.
I went to the boy's dormitory. Reaching room no. 1007, I knocked twice. For the first time, I've entered here.
Then I noticed the lock on the door. Not getting another alternative, I went to the warden's office.
"Sir, Please give these notes to the guy in Room No. 1007. His name is Kunal Rathore studying in second year of business management."
I kept the papers on his desk but the man stopped doing whatever he is doing. He looked up at me and frowned.
"Kunal Rathore?"
He confirmed. I nodded and turned to go when he said something that was enough to give chills down my spine.
"Do you know, Kunal Rathore committed suicide a year ago in Room 1007. It's been locked, since then."
Then with whom, I'm meeting since six months?
*******
ENTRY 2 : My Lovely Wife
Nandu: dida,I was married.
Dida: but ...
Nandu: I don't know anything about him dida and to b frankly I don't want to.how can he agree to marry me dida not even once meeting me,I am sure he is also like my family who thinks woman must obey man
Her words not only hurted dida but the person on the door too who came to check on dida,was stood schoked seeing her there and was about to shout on her hearing her cribbing but stopped when dida questioned her about family,the truth was like a blow to them,when ever KUNAL asked mehras about meeting NANDU they assured him saying she is a shy girl and they follow traditions.so he kept mum that village people believe stuff like bride groom cannt meet before marriage and all,but not even in his dreams thought she sufferered a lot mayb more than him in this marriage.he felt cheated hearing her telling tales about her family ,mehras were the one to b blamed but he took all his anger on her.who was no where to b blamed infact suffered.
Dida: beta you cannt blame a person without knowing him,every coin had two sides like you said you r forced by family mayb he too was in same boat like you,u left your husband the moment after your marriage, what he thinks about you,your family and what may they faced in society ,and what about his family.
Nandu: dida but he never...
Dida: beta as u said mayb your family kept him and his family in dark saying you r OK with this alliance and they must follow traditions, knowing your darji he can do anything,don't you think you owe a explanation to your husband,think from his side,keep yourself in his shoes.
Didas words made a impact on NANDU, she never thought about her husband thinking he too was like his family but now after hearing dida, knowing her family...
Nandu: u r right dida,I owe him a explanation, as u said if he too was kept in dark like me then I wil say sry to him...he wil b happy in his life and I am in mine.
Dida was schoked her plan failing :what if he is waiting for you!!???
Nandu: no dida its almost 2 yrs,I don't think he wilb waiting for a girl who ditched him on their marriage day,probably he mayb moved on ,I am going to say sry just to reduce my guilt
Dida: but
Nandu: dida no plz,I have to first find out who the hell was my husband was,I had to cal bhabhi ufff..
Dida: was!!??
Nandu: haan dida was,I am sure it's past,he is happy with his future,now bye,tmrw I wil inform you who my husband WAS!!??bye.
Nandu left confidently unknown to herself what's in store,the moment she left KUNAL came and sat beside dida,who was in deep thoughts.
Kunal: what are you thinking dida!!??
Kunal: thinking what she wil do once she knows I am her husband.
Dida: u heared our Convo.
Kunal: I don't want to eavesdrop dida,but ...
Dida smiled hearing KUNAL: u r still angry with her.
Kunal: I was...,but not now,but still let's see what she does this tym.
Dida: KUNAL what if she wants di...
Kunal: she was,is and wilb MALHOTRA dida.NANDini KUNAL MALHOTRA.
Both dida and KUNAL turned at the sound of gasp, finding her at the door both exchanged glances but none spoke,NANDU slowly made her way inside and took her mobile which was lying in side table and without a word ran from there. Kunal followed her,she understood why he always behind her,he was angry because she left him after marriage, all this days he was taking revenge.by shouting at her,by throwing tantrums, always ignoring her.she was fuming thinking all this days how he treated her.still like a fool she was attracted to him.she was still in thoughts when a hand grabbed her making her crash against his hard chest.both were lost in eachother eyes,KUNAL came from NANDU land and composed himself before saying.
Kunal: we need to talk
The authority in his voice made her fume more.
Nandu: u were punishing me in clear words taking revenge on me,weren't you!!??
Kunal listen..
Nandu: no,you listen I am sry for that day,but I was afraid to b caged like my mom and bhabhi,I must have talk with you,but situation was never in favour,I am really sorry for what happened with you.and I don't think we... ,I am this marriage... can work.so...
Kunal: no,u r emotionally drained now,sharing your past with dida and again facing the truth... you r not in a state to decide now,so let it b for sometime ,don't think and decide anything now,just calm down and behave like always,I am not taking you with me now,but I will wait for you until you yourself claim as my wife
,it was 3 months from thier encounter but NANDU was still not ready to claim KUNAL as hers,even though KUNAL stopped shouting at her,but he will find ways to irritate her, for name sake they were neighbours but dida almost shifted with her bahu,whole colony noticed the change,but they shrugged even they saw how the new girl mouli who was visiti the sharmas in vacation was interested in kunal,this talks made nandu fume,there was a theme party in the colont association,while all were discussing about party,mouli reached kunal asking to accompany her
Before KUNAL could say anything NANDU replied
Nandu: no,he is already taken.
moulI: taken!? No NANDU he is single,I know!?none asked him for the party.
Nandu: I am not talking about party,well about single thing no he is not,he is married 2 yrs before.
mouli jaw dropped hearing this:but I never saw his wife
Nandu: Are you blind,cant u see me,I am Nandini Malhotra,wife of kunal
As he said she himself declared as his wife before all and dida was most happiest person seeing them.
ENTRY 3 : MASQUERADE
Trepidation filled the air of the dance floor as the crowd dispersed, all eyes on the woman as she descended down the stairs, her hair rising in the light breeze, her carmine coloured dress flowing behind her. All that could be seen of her face was her nut-brown orbs and her pink plump lips. The mask over the upper part of her face a ghostly white and a smooth matte black.
Kunal cleared his throat as he walked up to the stairs, his navy blazer tight around his chest. His shirt matching the mask over the woman's face. He reached out a warm hand, taking in a breath as her hand rested atop his, the ferocious sparks that made his skin feel on fire gave Kunal a wave of excitement.
Another woman crept up behind him, her plum dress matching the colour of her freshly painted nails. Her raven coloured hair in a high up bun, the mask a sharp green that brought out her chocolate coloured eyes, her lips a stunning red.
Kunal turned slightly to look at the other woman, confusion etched into his handsome features. "Mauli" he whispered, swallowing thickly, his tounge darting out to wetten his now chapped lips
Neither woman responded, instead eyed him carefully. A smile on their lips.
kunal ran a shaky hand through his hair. His stomach churned making bile rise to his throat, never had he shared a connection with any woman like he had with Mauli, but the sizzling attraction he felt for Nandini made his knees weak. That was when the truth hit him, shattering his resolve, for a moment he had been prepared to throw away a love so rare and beautiful for a meaningless attraction
Wasn't it true we all wore a mask, we hid ourselves in some way or another and he had wore a mask of pretence and betrayal. It was undeniably clear that when neither face could be seen, only the bond he had made mattered. This rush of energy for Nandini would eventually fade, it was Mauli he truly loved. Sure of his own thoughts he turned to his right, shook his head then took the hand of the woman in the plum coloured dress. "Mauli" he smiled.
The woman pulled him over to the dance floor, there wasn't a spark as they danced- it was as if the storm within him had calmed, that was love, attraction could only make a small fire become a blaze.
The woman in the carmine coloured dress pulled off her mask, her eyes glassy as she gazed at her best friend dancing with Kunal. She looked away, trying to hide the look on her face, Nandini refused to be a burden tonight
Mauli pulled away slightly "Jaana, how did you work out which one was me" her smile- breathtaking, his heart lurched at all of his recent thoughts
"With you, it's calm, it's finding home after a long day, you never forget home, it's where you feel safe" he breathed out, pressing a light kiss to her neck
Mauli smiled a confession of love burning on her lips her eyes so full of love that it suffocated him, he tugged her body closer to his, allowing himself to drown in the magnificence that was Mauli.
Nandini looked up, her eyes full of desire, she desired a relationship like that of Mauli and Kunal's, a love that took her breath away, one that would leave her reeling, the kind of love written in books and displayed in movies.
Mauli traipsed over "Nandu, won't you dance"
Nandni laughed "I have no one to dance with"
"Kunal will dance with you" Mauli assured, beckoning him over
Nandini went to refuse, but was pulled into Kunal's embrace, her hands trembled as she began to dance with him, twirling around the dance floor, her breathing laboured as she was dipped, her dress a pool on the floor around her.
Kunal's eyes darkened, as if taken over by something she could only determine as lust as he tugged her back to his body, then let her go. Mauli's hand rested in one of his, Nandini's hand rested in another as he span them out then back in.
Nandini was overwhelmed by her racing heart at Kunal's strong arm wound tightly around her waist, never had she felt so close to a man before, never had she had someone who looked at her the way he did. But feelings like this were momentary and she knew that, but if she were ever to find love, she hoped her love would be a man just like Kunal.
Mauli followed Nandini's gaze, the terrible feeling clasping around her heart, squeezing so hard it became hard to breathe, was this just a night with heavy emotions or could it be, that there was a connection between the two that left her feeling out of place. So often had she heard of the saying that opposites attract and that was true, but opposites attracted with such force they clashed, yet there stood her husband and best friend of many years, perfectly alike.
Was it possible that she had missed this, that they were the perfect match and she the third wheel trying to catch up? It wasn't a thought she wanted to dwell upon tonight. She was never one to listen to what people said, she had always made her own mind up and she would continue to do exactly that
Though there was still a remanat thought in each of their minds as they placed their invisible masks back on, Nandini smiled as if the dance had no affect, Kunal laughed as if his heart hadn't sped up when his fingers skimmed Nandini's waist and Mauli cheered like there wasn't an uncomfortable feeling deep within her that she was the stranger within this relationship, prying into a personal moment.
That was all they were, moments. Moments of doubt and attraction and moments never lasted forever.
ENTRY 4 : Lucky To Have You
" Nandini how many times i have to say that I'm fine. Don't call me again and again. You are disturbing me please " Kunal hanged up angrily without listening her fully.
He came Australia for an important project and there his over worried wife keep calling him again and again, saying same thing that she is missing him also to take care of his health. ' for God sake I'm not a child why can't she just stop worrying ' .
" What happened Mr Malhotra " Kuna's client Mrs Mouli Jaiwal asked..
" Ah nothing just my wife " Kunal answered irritatedly as he switched off his phone...
" i am sorry, now there will be no disturbance "..
Mrs Jaiswal smiled and they continue with their meeting. All day went quiet fast as he was very busy and forget eat or to switch on his phone...
At night he joined the client party. He took a drink and stand in a corner, seeing couple dancing he start missing his over protective, worried wife. Then remember he didn't switch on his phone..
' oh no Nandini must be so worried , how can i become so careless ?' but surprised to see no missed call. It's 8 hours since she called, how come she didn't call him till now ? . She usually keep calling him at every two or one hour to hear if he is ok or not . ' what happened to her ! ' Kunal thought worriedly.
He was about to call her but stop seeing time ... .
' it's so late there, she must be sleeping now '. He was about to walk pass when Mrs Jaiwal came..
" what wrong Mr Malhotra ? you seem worried ? "...
" its nothing " although he looked at his phone feeling uneasy ...
" seems like your wife took your advice and didn't call you but it's not going well with you " ...
Kunal shocked " how do you know Mrs Jaiswal ? "...
" Actually , 5years ago i was also in your place, irritated of over loving husband . Lets go take a drink with me..and please call me Mouli ". She smiled and both went to counter and ordered drinks ...
" so tell me about her ".
Kunal smiled " she is crazy woman with a big heart. Not just people she can't even see animal in pain " the way he was saying anyone can feel his love for his wife " her morning start with me and end too . My family wanted me to be a doctor but i had passion for business . She is the one who believed in me when even my family was not ready to support my career. She is super crazy but my everything " ...
" hmm you love that crazy woman " Mouli said with half smile , Kunal simply nodded.
" from morning she was calling you continuously then you scolded her and she stop calling, it's bothering you right , i mean you must be thinking why she not calling me ? Is she fine or stop thinking about me ? "...
" umm she must be busy so..".
" Accept it Kunal you missing her worried voice. It is fact, we get annoyed when someone show concern for us too much but we get more tensed when that person stop worrying . Actually it's feels terrible . Because that person's love care always make us feel wanted, when she stop doing it we feel neglected even rejected too "...
Kunal looked at her surprised yes he is feeling the same. He now only want to hear her voice Mouli noticed it ...
" go call her, trust me she would be more happy if you broke her sleep " saying she left .
Kunal thought for sometime and went outside to call but stop seeing Mr Raj Kapoor and some other businessman totally drunk and talking about their wife.
Karan - hey Raj you are so lucky, your wife loves you so much.
Raj- sorry to break the bubble but I'm unlucky just like you. My wife doesn't have time from shopping and party how can she give me time ? . It's almost one week I'm here, she didn't even bother to call me once.
Rohit - your wife didn't call you and there my wife didn't have time to talk when i called. seems like our fate is same, our wife only bother about money. We have money, power ,everything but still we are so unlucky..
Karan- it seems ages since she said she loves me. She ...
Kunal couldn't hear more and went from there and start thinking about their words.. Their wife didn't care about them ,stay in their own world and for Nandini he is her world.
Every time he went aboard for business she got so worried and he always laughed of that.. He may got busy but she never forget to call to ask about him, she loves him so much and here he is ignoring that care ,that love only because of business how could he do that. He finally realised what he was doing and smiled proudly...
" how come i became so lucky "...
He wants to hug her, kiss her want to say thank you for caring for him, for loving him so much . He looked at his mobile but drop the idea of calling ,instead booked a flight to go back, after all Nandini deserve more than a phone call and business can wait, nothing can be more important than his wife...
ENTRY 5 : Love is a Pure Feeling
Finally today she broke all ties with rajdeep & the credit goes to her best friend mauli & somewhere kunal too is the reason of her "FREEDOM.
She reached mauli's home & found her sitting sadly on couch.
Nandini(st)- I know mauli you are sad because of me but not anymore.
She sat besides mauli keeping her head on her shoulder. Mauli turns to her "you came nandu
Nandini wiped her unshed tears "I came back to my mauli after clearing all the mess
Mauli(confused)- how?
She narrated her everything. Mauli hugged her happily saying " I'm so proud of you nandu finally you faced rajdeep fearlessly.
Nandini- only because of you mauli I had courage to face that man.
Mauli - no nandu this courage was always inside you.
Both starts fighting cutely for giving credit to each when they saw dadi.
Dadi smiled knowing everything & told her how happy she is with her decision. Mauli excused herself & called kunal to inform him about nandini. Kunal drove towards his home & found the ladies chatting. His eyes were just stuck on nandini; he too smiles seeing her laughing freely.
He just wanted to hug her tight telling her how worried he was about her but stopped himself.
"kunal "
Mauli called him & he looked away wiping his tears & came forward. He smiled hearing everything when suddenly mauli's phone starts ringing. She excused herself leaving KuNan alone. Both were just looking at each other without saying anything. Nandini was about to say something when kunal came forward to hug her but she stepped back. Realizing what he was doing, he apologized to nandini. Meanwhile mauli too comes there with sweets & feed both of them. Kunal excused himself and moving to his room closed the door holding his head "no I can't cheat my mauli. This is wrong nandini is only mauli's friend & it's only attraction nothing else I only love my mauli he tried to convince himself when he heard his heart's voice "No kunal it's not attraction but it's Love
Kunal' mind - this is wrong.
Kunal's heart- love is never wrong
Kunal's mind - but I can't love her as I'm married. I can't cheat mauli. His mind & heart's starts arguing & he shouts closing his ears "stop it both of you
Nandini too was feeling something weird after kunal tried to hug her. She was confused as one side she too wanted to hug him but other side she was thinking it isn't right.
From that day Kunal starts maintaining distance from nandini. His ignorance hurt nandini but she kept silent as she had no rights to question him. Mauli too felt this but didn't took it seriously.
Few weeks spents like this & one day mauli inform everyone that she has to go Delhi for 3 days to attend a conference. Kunal too wanted to accompany her but she denied.
Kunal - but why jaana?
Mauli - jaana u know naa mumma has gone for friend's daughter marriage so u have to stay here for taking care of dida & Nandu too. Nandini was the reason he didn't want stay back so he again tried to convince her but she pleaded him & finally he agreed & soon mauli left.
Next day nandini informed kunal that she is going market to buy some veggies and dida asked kunal to accompany her. The whole journey passed silently stealing glances of the other. They reached there nandini went inside while kunal starts waiting in car. Soon he saw her coming back holding many bags and saw a truck was about to hit her. He ran to save her but before he could reach her that truck hit her. He found her laying on road in pool of blood. His heart sank seeing her. He picked her in his arms & drove towards hospital. He was holding her hand firmly with teary eyes "nandini please open your eyes. I can't lose you. Operation started while he was praying for her well being. After one hour doctor comes out of operation theater and asks about her .
Doctor- relax kunal she is out of danger now. He nodded & entered inside the ward & found her sleeping. He was sitting beside her holding her hand when she opened her eyes & called him. He hugged her tightly & starts crying. This time she too reciprocate the hug consoling him. Both parted after a while when nandini said "Kunal I think it's wrong "
Kunal - from many weeks I'm also juggling between this wrong & right. But today seeing you like that I realized that it's not wrong but it's "LOVE...PURE LOVE. Nandini's eyes well up hearing this while he continued "yes nandini I love you. I know I'm married & don't want to cheat mauli that's why I was maintaining distance between us thinking that it's just attraction but its love. I married mauli as my parents chose her for me. She is the best life partner anyone can get but she is not my love. The feeling of love is what I felt for you. I tried a lot to keep away from you but it's not happening
Nandini - I too love you but was suppressing my feelings as I can't cheat my mauli. I can't gave her pain so it's better that I leave this city. Both saw each other for last time & decided not to take this relationship ahead when they heard "wow guys you decided everything alone KuNan shocked seeing mauli standing there
KuNan tried to say something but she said "you thought mauli won't understand anything... you were going to sacrifice your love for me. You realized now but realised it before & that's why I lied about my conference so that u both get to know about your feeling.
KuNan were shocked hearing this while mauli wiped her tears & holds nandini's hand & kept it on kunal hand saying " you both are made for each other
Nandini - no mauli it's not right I can't take your place.
Mauli - Nandu "LOVE CAN NEVER BE WRONG, IT IS A PURE FEELING & you didn't take my place but you made your place. KuNan hugged her tightly while she wiped her tears & smiled walking away from there happy giving her friend her deserved share of happiness.
Seher Hone Ko Hai
Anupamaa
