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4
Come in anokhi, settle yourself...will you take tea, coffee?
"Nothing sir, I just wanted to talk to you about something, if you allow."
"Sure, what is it?"
Anokhi hesitated a bit before speaking, she didn't know how right it would be to interfere in this matter, but she had to know the truth.
Shaan noticed anokhi's hesitancy and asked anokhi, "is everything fine?"
****************
"Why didn't you ever tell me shaurya?"
"I don't know anokhi, kabhi mauka hi nahi mila, and would you have trusted me if I told you before that she left me and dad...to pursue her career? After all your aastha ma'am can never be wrong, can she?"
"Shaurya..."
She didn't know what to say. To be very honest she still found it hard to believe that aastha would leave her son, a 4 year old son, just like that. As much as anokhi supports the idea of an independent woman and aastha wasn't wrong for wanting to pursue her career but by abandoning her child, her mentor who cared for her, loved her like her own daughter, would she leave her son yearning for his mother?
But Shaurya isn't lying obviously, is there some misunderstanding or is his perspective, the truth? Whatever it is, anokhi now got the answer to her question that she asked shaurya just few moments back, when they were seated on the sofa of anokhi's apartment; this time not as a professor and student, but as people in love. She asked him the question which she had in her mind since months... that how aastha ma'am and his separation is related to career- oriented women and the answer left her shocked.
"It hurts anokhi, when the hands which used to carress me at night to make me fall asleep weren't there one night, when the voice that always answered back 'haa beta' whenever I called my mother wasn't there one fine day, no matter how much I called for her. When I had to learn to leave without the presence of that one person whom I couldn't imagine my life without. I didn't know how to cope up as a 4 year old anokhi and probably I don't know still...I don't.
Pool of tears had started forming in his eyes but before shaurya could wipe them off anokhi held his hand while wiping them away from her own hands as shaurya slowly rested his head on her shoulder while anokhi kept caressed the back of his hands with her hand.
"As I grew up, I got to know that she left me because she wanted to pursue her career. And I used to just think that what must have happened? She got up one day, thought that she wants to pursue her career and left everything behind, her child too. I always used to think, does she remember me for one second of the day because I don't forget her even for a moment. I hate her for doing this, but her absence was always felt anokhi, it felt and it stinged...it stings."
Anokhi rests her chin over his head and closed her eyes briefly, if only she would have asked him this before.
She didn't know what to say, yes shaurya's thinking was wrong and it was needed to be changed, but him having such thinking was now understandable, since he has grown up by keeping this occurence as the base of his mentality.
"I am sorry Shaurya. I didn't know and I didn't even ask you as to what had happened in the past that you hold such a thinking. Without knowing your perspective, I judged you-"
"No anokhi, you don't have to be sorry. It isn't your fault. Just like I didn't know about your past and the kind of abuse you have faced, you didn't know either. I didn't tell you earlier, when I should have. But you know, as much I still hate her, this so called tradition of our house that forces the DILs to give up their career is wrong and aastha ma'am shouldn't have been forced to give up her career in the first place. If not for you, I wouldn't have ever thought of how she herself has been a victim before being my culprit. She probably might have felt suffocated and at a loss of her identity just like how Gayatri chachi and kanchan do. Probably because of that...."
"Nothing can justify her leaving a 4 year old kid shaurya, nothing. Yes, she might have felt suffocated, yet I am hopeful that there must be much better ways to deal with; to make a decision which will change a 4 year old's life for the worse is perhaps worst of those ways, shaurya. I am proud that you have changed your mentality and I am happy that you are realising how toxic and patriarchal the rules of the sabherwal house are; but he her leaving you can't be justified. Never."
Shaurya hugged her as firmly as possible, while anokhi reciprocated. She understands him like no one else, always breaking those walls he had built around himself, so that no one can come to the darkest parts of his soul, but she broke down those walls, entered those dark parts of his soul and lit them up like even he couldn't. She prompted him to become a better person, not only for her, but for himself too; for people around him, for women around him. After all, shaurya lead on the fight with badi maa as to how kanchan will work and there shouldn't be any problem because when men of the house can, why can't women? He was fighting for her because this was her right, and also because she had helped him so much, from making him understand his feelings about anokhi to supporting him, to being there for him answering his queries related to her point of view on patriarchy. She has been there for him every single time, so now it was his turn.
And the effort didn't go in vain as Kanchan was now working in same even management company as Babli. And, Anokhi after seeing how shaurya is trying so hard to change and has honestly changed so much, she couldn't feel prouder and happier. He says he has a long way to go as he is still figuring out a lot of things but to her, he is the most supportive man she has ever seen. He had always been such from his nature, he never stopped her or tried to control her dreams. It's just his soch that needed to be changed.
**************
"No Shaan Sir, everything isn't fine. I know that this might be getting too personal but it is important for me to know, I still can't find a reason to justify the decision but I don't want to repeat the mistake of judging someone without hearing their side of the story. And Aastha ma'am is very close to me, she holds a very respectable place in my eyes, I don't want to question that place without knowing the whole situation."
Shaan didn't quite understand what exactly was she wanting to ask but he understood that whatever it is, it's quite serious.
"You won't be interfering at all anokhi...ask what you want to ask without any hesitation, okay?", afterall though shaurya had not informed him yet, nor did he spoke to anokhi about this, but he was pretty much sure that they were now together; he was just waiting for one of them to affirm his beliefs, maybe that's what she wants to talk about.
After a few moments of pause, and thinking through again, she finally asks,
"Did Aastha ma'am leave shaurya because she wanted to make a career for herself?"
He was surprised, as did not see this coming. Shaan let out a sigh, he took a few minutes, since he knew that once anokhi knows the truth, shaurya will too. Although, at the end decided that there is no point of hiding the truth now. He didn't tell before because he knew that shaurya wouldn't believe him. Bhabhi has had too much effect on him. But after seeing how shaurya took a stand and fought for kanchan's ambitions, he comprehended that shaurya has changed. And that now might be a slight chance of shaurya believing him, even more so because of anokhi's presence.
"No anokhi, she didn't leave for her career. You must have seen her brother's photo with garland on it in her house, didn't you?"
"Yes sir, I did.", Anokhi responds after rememering seeing the photo in ma'am's living room.
"He died in an accident. And there was no one to take care of her parents who weren't in the best of their health at that time. So, aastha in order to support her parents had to work but tej bhaisaab and bhabhi refused. They told her that they will pay the expenses of her parents but in no circumstances can she work."
Sighing, shaan continues,
"I didn't take a stand for her, I somewhere thought that if they are ready to pay, then what's the problem but aastha had, she said that 'I will be indebted to them for my whole life and not just me but also my parents. Also, once my parents get to know who is paying for their expenses, they will refuse to take it.' I didn't get it then, since I used to consider both as our well wishers, but seeing how they made evn shaurya feel indebted to them, can't imagine how much would they have made aastha feel indebted to them, probably they would have crushed her with the weight of their 'ehsaan' and I would have just watched quietly", he admitted while feeling ashamed.
"She didn't have any other option and hence decided to leave, she was in two minds about shaurya; she didn't want to snatch away all the other relation for the sake of one, but she also knew that she can't leave without him and he...he would miss her so much."
"I don't exactly remember what happened, I was too shattered, my mind and senses were not working at all; everything seems a faze. She probably wanted to come up with a solution where no relation is snatched away from him, she was even ready to try to have her parents shifted to chandigarh. She said that she will be taking shaurya to kapurthala for the time being, to explain him the situation in a sensitive way and will bring him back; and she will keep visiting him and spend that time in such a way that he doesn't feel her absence at other times. But...bhabhi snatched shaurya away from her arms, ordered her to leave the house and didn't allow her to meet even for once no matter how many times she came to visit shaurya."
"As far as I know, she wanted to fight for his custody, but the loans were a lot and income of hers was less, most of it going in the hospital expenses and monthly expenses which left her with hardly any savings, so it was next to impossible for her to hire a lawyer.
Now I feel, even if she did, it would be bhaisaab and bhabhi who would win the custody, either by hook or crook."
Shaan gets up from the sofa and turns his back towards since he didn't know how to face her questioning eyes, asking only one question.
"I didn't do anything to help her, nothing at all. My respect for bhaisaab and bhabhi didn't allow me too. everything happened so fast, that I couldn't fathom it. And I just stood there, a silent spectator watching his family crumble in a swift."
Anokhi was shocked beyond words. When she came here to meet Shaan Sir, she came with a mindeset that absolutely nothing can justify aastha ma'am; but these different perspectives are making everything seem so complicated. Why does than shaurya think it is because of career? Why didn't shaan sir tell him the truth? Before, anokhi could ask anything, they heard a knock on the door.
Shaan wipes away the tears that were by now running down his face and walks up to the door to open it.
"Shaurya"
"Hey Dad, Badi Maa informed that you are in your flat, I actually wanted to inform you about something."
Hearing no response from him, shaurya asks,
"Uhh... May I come in dad?
"Huh? Yeah, yeah ofcourse.", he said giving way to him.
"Anokhi, you are here? How Come?"
"Nothing Shaurya...sir, just like that.", she added sir in the last minute noticing that shaan sir is also in the room and he doesn't know about them getting back together. But, Shaurya caught on to that.
He gestures her to come and stand by him, anokhi is confused for a second yet agrees.
"It's good that you are also here, and you don't have to hide anymore from dad, anokhi. Dad, I came to inform you that anokhi and me are finally together; and I have changed for the better dad, I hope you have seen some of those changes in these months?"
He indeed has seen how much shaurya changed, how much he supported kanchan, he fought against age old injustice in the name of tradition, so that she can work. He was apprehensive about shaurya loving anokhi when aastha first informed him, and his apprehension were proved as right when the breaking point of their relation was this very issue. Aastha agreed to not work after marriage but He knew anokhi would never agree to it. What he didn't know was how different shaurya is from him. He doesn't know how exactly his thinking changed but once it did, he fought tooth and nail for kanchan and when he can do it for her, he can do the same and perhaps a lot more for anokhi. He will never be a disappointment to her like he has been to aastha and even to shaurya.
He hugs his son and pats him on his back, "I have surely noticed those changes shaurya, and I am so happy for both of you" as he keeps his other hand on anokhi's head as in to bless her. They both slowly break the hug and all three settle down on the sofa.
"I was so wrong in my thinking dad, just because she had left me for her career, and I will never be able to forgive her for that; it doesn't negate the fact the the rules of our house are indeed outdated and just because she has left her child doesn't mean all women will."
Anokhi really really wants to tell him the truth, he deserves to know it. Who told him all these lies when the truth is different. But, he is so happy right now, and that happiness would vanish once he gets to know...shall I not? Yet, He deserves to know it, so much time has already gone by; he should have known the truth before. Determined in her stance, she interrupts their conversation,
"Shaan sir, sorry for disturbing both of you conversation, but there is also something that you have to tell shaurya right?"
"Oh really, what is it dad?"
Shaan closed his eyes and sighed. He knew this was coming, even if he would have told anokhi to not inform shaurya of all this, she wouldn't have listened. Both his son and to be daughter-in-law are impulsive and stubborn, but atleast they know how to stand up for themselves..."
"Dad?" Shaan breaks off of his thoughts
"Huh, Yeah...yeah shaurya?"
"What is it that you want to tell me?"
Shaan looks at anokhi and all he could see was determination in her eyes, conveying him of the fact that he can't escape. He also can't ignore the fact that it is shaurya's right to know the truth.
"That Aastha...Aastha didn't leave because of her career."
Shaurya seemed confused and gives him his signature smirk and says,
"What do you mean she didn't leave for career? Are you kidding?"
"No Shaurya I am serious...."
And he discloses the truth to shaurya just as he did to anokhi and with every word shaurya felt the land beneath him slide away...
"I know that it is also my fault since I couldn't take a stand for her, when she needed me the most, I-"
"Just stop it dad, how come this story is coming after 25 years? Till 25 years it was career and now it's because of the unfortunate situation that built up? How am I suppose to believe all this now, were you sleeping for 25 years dad?"
"I knew that you won't believe me shaurya because your badi maa had fed you a totally different narrative of the whole situation at the time when I wasn't present for you, despite staying near you... because I was weak. And I don't have it in me to face you even today. If you want to get more information, you can ask gayatri, she will tell you."
And by saying that, he keeps the keys of the house on the dining table and starts to leave.
"Sir, where are you going?" Anokhi asks in a worried tone.
"Don't worry anokhi, I will be fine; I'll call you to let you know the same, don't worry."
"If your story is to be believed, then according to that, you seem more of a culprit to me than aastha ma'am; escaped like a coward back then, and doing the same now just after telling this new truth."
Shaurya says while so while smiling as tears fell form his eyes...
Shaan unable to look at his son anymore leaves without saying a single word more.
Silence prevails in the air before shaurya choses to break it.
"Is this what you wanted him to tell me anokhi?"
"Shaurya, I...yes, I got to know about this just now shaurya. I know it is hard to believe, and trust me, I didn't ask him to tell you the truth because I want you to forgive aastha ma'am. I just wanted you to know the truth, since You deserve to know it, I would feel like I am lying to you if everytime we meet and I din't let you know the truth, which you should have known long back. I know its hard-"
"Don't say anything more anokhi. I am sorry to be talking like this to you but you had to bring that woman in between us even today, right?... I think I was better off without knowing this newly appeared truth out of nowhere. I was so happy today and you had to spoil everything."
"Shaurya, you are taking it the wrong way, I don't want you to forgive her or anything, I just want you to know the other perspective. And I am not bringing her in middle of us, please understand. You are saying now that you are better off without knowing about this but, If tomorrow you get to know it from somewhere else, and then you also get to know how I already knew about this; would you not feel lied to?
Obviously you will and you will be right in feeling that and that's why I prompted shaan sir to tell you right as I got to know. Believing it or not is your prerogative, I promise I will not force you to believe anything you don't want to believe in."
Shaurya sat back on the sofa with both his hands holding his head. he felt like his mind would burst any minute. Anokhi understood how he is feeling right now and just sat beside him silently as she kept her hand on his shoulder.
"I am sorry anokhi, I am still working on trying to control my anger. I know what you mean, I would have definitely felt lied to, if I got to know that you knew about this."
"It's okay shaurya, I know how hard you are working in bettering yourself. I love you the way you are. Every bit of your personality, the way you care fore me, respect me, love me. Just some toxic traits that you need to get away with for your sake too. And you don't have to control it shaurya, just let it out in a healthy manner. There are many things I need to improve on too afterall."
He turns towards her and hugs her and she hugs him back. All of this was too overwhelming for him, to process this new perspective which is totally different from the one he was told in all these years. As he breaks the hug, he keeps his head on her shoulder to
"I can't believe this anokhi, because if I believe this then that would mean that badi maa has been lying to me all along? Why will she?
Yes, I dislike the fact that she announced my engagement with shagun without informing me, she did lie there but... she can't lie for 25 years anokhi, can she?"
Anokhi didn't know what to answer. As much as she has seen his badi maa, she doesn't give off good vibes but shaurya is attached to her, and it's probably cause of her that atleast he got some mother's love.
"I can understand your dilemma shaurya, but no one can know the members of your family better than you, right shaurya? These dynamics seem confusing to me as I have only seen very black and white relations. Like papaji has always been the villain eventhough I don't want him to be and mummyji has always been right to me; same with babli di and vineet's relation. So, I have know idea how these complicated dynamics work shaurya.'
"Ugh...you are right anokhi, I don't know; why will dad lie? He didn't tell me because I won't believe him but what makes him think that I will believe now? And what does gayatri chachi know about all this?"
"Maybe we should ask her itself?"
After thinking for a while, Shaurya nodes his head in affirmation and takes out his phone to dial her number and puts his phone on speaker beforehand, he wanted anokhi to know all this too since it's because of her that this new perspective has come forth; the thoughts in his head still chaotic and the storms in his heart not all ready to calm down.
"She isn't picking up the phone, shall I try the landline?"
"Hmm..."
The landline is picked up and just while anokhi notices a spider crawling up her arm.
"OH MY GOD SHAURYA, SPIDER!!" She swiftly gets up to remove the spider as soon as possible.
Shaurya is startled, "are you okay anokhi?! It's just a spider, just remove it calmly naa, why are you dancing?!"
"BECAUSE I AM SCARED OF SPIDERS!!"
"That makes you dance?!" Shaurya clearly enjoying teasing anokhi, 'ahhh; just how much this girl intentionally or unintentionally brings happiness to me, even she doesn't know...'
"THIS ISN'T FUNNY SHAURYA, I was really scared"
Seeing her really scared, he became serious and genuinely asked if she is okay as he saw her settling down and she replied in affirmation a few seconds after...
Both brought their attention to the phone call noticing that it is already picked up, Shaurya speaks,
"Hello Gayatri Chachi?"
Getting no response, he doubted that perhaps its someone else, and spoke up again,
"Hello, Umm Kaun bol raha hai?"
"Main hoon Shaurya."
"Badi Maa?"
They both are look at eachother completely shocked...
"Badi Maa, I- I- I just wanted to to inform that I reached Dad's flat and met him too, I'll be coming home after an hour or so. Hanging up Badi Maa."
"You also met anokhi, didn't you? Infact you are with her right now as I can hear it."
Without any hesitation he affirms,
"Yes Badi Maa, I am with anokhi; it isn't hidden from you that we love eachother, yeah we had seperated for a few months due to some issues but the love was always there in out hearts which brought us back together. So yeah."
"Good to know Shaurya, that she is still behind you, that you are again trapped in her web of deceit and manipulation. She is just behind your money shaurya, behind the the name of Sabherwals, that is what the motive of girls like her are-"
"Stop it Badi Maa, I will not hear a single wrong statement about anokhi." He borderline screams as he was putting off the speaker but anokhi held his hands and gestured not too switch off the speaker, not to speak a word or cut off the phone.
She wanted to hear it, it isn't going to affect her in anyway but she felt it was necessary to get an idea of what kind of a soch Badi Maa really has.
"
"You can stop me from saying the truth shaurya, but if you have the courage stop her from doing the same. Girls like her target men with large bank balance, they take advantage of them and when their agenda is completed or their truth is out, they move onto the other. Girls like her are characterless, they can go to any extent to-"
"STOP IT BADI MAA! I SAID STOP IT!" , He couldn't hold himself back anymore, hearing this boiled his blood, and cut the phone immedietely.
"Hello? Hello? Shaurya?"
She realised he has cut the call. She wasn't ashamed of saying a single word she spoke today. This student and that teacher of hers are planning something, they are planning to snatch shaurya. The way he has went against us to fight for kanchan, don't what will he do for anokhi. She must be the one who must have taught him this lesson of importance of career or whatever he was lecturing us on... That girl.... I'll make sure that she never arrives in the house or else everything would be destroyed.
Anokhi tried putting up a strong front, but failed to do so as this is the second time that someone had said something like this to her...
It didn't hurt as much as it did before, but it did hurt nonetheless...
She forgave him from her heart wholeheartedly but it isn't possible to forget it completely, is it?
But it wasn't just her who was reminded of the incident, it was him too.
How he could he forget the words that he still regrets saying it to her, or any person for that matter.
Now even more so, when he has realised the thoughts and mentality that they stemmed up from, they were even more toxic.
"I am sorry Anokhi."
"No Shaurya, whatever she said sn't your fault at all-"
"Not only for that anokhi, but she isn't the only one who said it to you..."
Anokhi was silenced for a minute... after a while she utters,
"I have already forgiven you shaurya, you don't have to"
"You were reminded of that right?"
Anokhi keeps quiet which in itself answers shaurya's question.
"I can't imagine anokhi, how bad must it have felt... today hearing somewhat the same words from someonelse's mouth, even if it wasn't for me, still made me feel disgusted to the core."
"It did make me feel disgusted but somewhere more disgusted of that mentality that was present in both you and her."
"But Shaurya, the fact that you were not only willing to change, you changed. You regret your words, and you accept that whatever did you was wrong. I don't know if she can change anything in her thinking since she is in that stage of her life where our beliefs become extremely rigid."
"You accepted and you apologised, and brought the changes within you; I think that's what makes you a good person at heart, everyone of us makes blunders, the fact you got to the root of it and uprroted the problem from it's roots is more than enough for me to try my best.... to leave it all in the past."
She says the last words as she moves to rest her head on his shoulders as he keeps his hand on her shoulders and brings her more closer to him.
"Do you think shaurya that perhaps, this thinking of your household which isn't just patriarchal in a sense that doesn't allow women to work but also patriarchal in its very thinking might have more to do with the situations that played out years back? I mean The class diffrences and the way they highlight it whenver possible along with it accompanying their patriarchal thoughts... seems a lot to take in."
"Perhaps anokhi, there is more to all this than I know of... Badi Maa's thinking I know now, is problematic to say the least... and... I mean everytime I used to look at aastha ma'am treating you just like her own daughter, I used to feel that why would she not do the same to her own child? I remember those little moments I spent with eventhough I was too young, still now. And those moments still make me feel loved. Would she leave me just like that? And whatever dad shared today, I think that is a reason anyone would feel at a crossroad. But then Badi Maa can't lie for so many years naa, Anokhi? She can't... break the trust just like that. I might not agree with her thinking now, but I still love her a lot, respect her a lot, and if what I heard today proves to be true, I could never feel the same for her."
"One day, Shaurya...I am sure the clarity will be there, till then we can't do anything but wait."
"You are right, Anokhi... one day hopefully....will talk to Gayatri chachi once I reach home."
"Hmm"
They just sit there in eachothers embrace as the time goes by, but when are we ever aware of time when in love.
"I love you"
"I love you too"
---------THE END---------
(Haven't proofread... will do so sometime later...)
Hope you enjoyed reading it! I know I took forever to update the last part, but here it is! Thank you for taking out your time to read this four shot and giving it so much love!
This might seem abrupt since I haven't included aastha-shaurya reunion but that wasn't my intetntion...I just wanted to showcase my interpretation of how their pasts still effects them in so many ways....
Plus the reunion scene in itself in the show was so amazing that I can't imagine it in any other way!
So, leaving it at this... hopefully this could connect to you...
And Keep watching SAAKK at 7pm on SP if possible!
Take Care and Have a Lovely Day!!
Edited by eternal_soul - 4 years ago
Kabhi Neem Neem Kabhi Shahad Shahad
