Opposites attract ???? or !!!!........

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

Hi guys......😛

I introduce 2 theories normally evident in most of the marraiges...

1. Opposites attract...

2. Birds of a feather flock together...

Case 1:

Ishaan and Suhana are extremes in every way. Former is an introvert.....the latter extrovert. Former is mature. The latter kiddish and quite brattish these comparisons only nature wise....otherwise too considering their status their likes and dislikes are all extremes but yes, we see the wonderful chemistry glitters between them....

Even the case of Alok and Rano...the former is mature and rational in thinking....where as Rano is naive, innocent and just believes in dispersing happiness even though by small means.....

Well....the theory 'opposites attract' is doing up the trick here.

Again though the term opposite can have so many facets one of which would be an age factor too much age gap between couples can also be a marvel or a dismay ...

Again the opposites can be connected with the cases of literate-illiterate couples too. Here the mentality itself is different and each thing is viewed with totally different perspectives.....can we say the opposites attract theory hold good here????

Case 2:

Let's take the case of couples sharing same profession..this will help to understand their work-pressure and carry on the domestic chores too beautifully.

Again a case of couples having same status here..the initiation process gets quick here....and interaction gets easier due to the same lifestyle ....

This is where " Birds of a feather flock together...." come into picture.

So guys .. to what extent can these theories rule a couple's life??? Do pour in your views....with or without the SGP characters.....😛

Edited by laxmi_s - 15 years ago

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Frequent Posters

@-RD-

Stunner

+ 9

Posted: 15 years ago

Nice one again .........u guys come with such cool yet thought provoking topics.....

I think in reality its like a blend of both cases but really there has to be a connect somewhere for a relationship to last or even start even if u see the case of Sushaan there is a connect as far as some of the core moral values are concerned .....

There has to be a commom ground somewhere mentally ,emotionally , or maybe even in the superfluous things like likes ,dislikes , professions ,POV's are concerned .

There is no guarantee that if people are in the same profession they will understand each other better ...it really boils down to the person in question,their personality and nature .....which leads to a realationship being formed and as well lasting the rough times....

I can say frm my own example my fiance had joined work while i was in first year uni when we met for the first time at a Mac Joint .....then we bumped into each other coincidently a few times ...got talking abt lame things ....later on connected at an emotional level ...........became the best of friends ....and now getting married ....so for me a mental or emotional connect is most important as far as a relationship is concerned ........other things like diff prof 's , likes ,tastes ,POVs are sort of immaterial ......and even me and my fiance are completely different personalities with different tastes ,likes ,dislikes .....but we connect emotionally and now mentally as well which is a mutual effort .....cause where there is love and care everything else just falls in place ...u can see it with Ishaan.....

Man i have written so much of rubbish ....hope it makes some sense somewhere .......

Njoy the day!!!

Pooja

Edited by rdfan - 15 years ago

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15836

Suspended

Posted: 15 years ago

*I should not be here, I should be studying*

In my case, I never realized that we (me and my woh lol) were poles apart till someone close to me mentioned it. I am a chatterbox while is not; I'm hyper and he's shant etc. Come to think of it, we are complete opposites but still gel together? Why is that ji? I see it in a way that we balance each other very well (like complete each other in mushy terms lol). He is my biggest support, and someone who helps keep me grounded. I get stressed out very easily, and he is always there and in his way knows how to calm me down ji. Then at rare times when he is stressed he just wants to talk to me and he says that it helps (yaaaay I feel special lol).

So for opposites attract I think we meet in the middle to get the right balance. He doesn't come to my side nor do I go to his side to meet at an "empty meeting place". We accept each other as we are. We just click ji, and have been "clicking" for many years.

Sorry for the lack sense, I haven't ninnied in ages and my brain can only spew out names of muscles and bones at the moment ji.

Simmi!

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

true pooja....(@rdfan) ...👍🏼

i posted this topic as the dimension of seeing it has various shades....many perspectives can flow in many views... the way u viewed it as other things being immaterial and preference to more of an emotional connect.....👏

I had this query of opposites when experienced one in the age factor case.... In one of the holy places we happened to put up in the Pandit's house for performing our poojas there for a week and the pandit was quite a hunk and had a muscular physique much to his appearance we even nicknamed him as Mangal pandey(Aamir khan) for his built... He seemed to be around 26 to 27 years of age....we were welcomed by a cute lady who seemed to be around 18-19... years. she was in her pavadai-dhavani attire(ones in south indian similar to ghagra and a odni ) and an elderly lady who was the pandit's mother.... All the time we (our family) considered that cute lady to be the sister of Pandit and we were totally zapped when we came to know she was his wife.... We could not believe it as they were opposites in all ways....from appearances to behaviour to age..... We could never relate them to be in a marraige bond.... Infact we were inquisitive enough and longed to catch glimpses of their interaction too but they shared more of a teacher-student bond where he would tell her to get something....this lady would be on her toes and get it and so on.... We are all wondering what kind of a marital bonding would that be.... What kind of interaction would be there... I mean would they be able to even remotely connect to read each other's mind??

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

@simran..

Simmi...hi....your statement 'i am a chatterbox and he is shant'.... is the main strength in your bond., dear... u know simmi, in a bond it is very important that the words said and words heard has to meet on an equilibrium level.... It has great values in building up a stronger bond.... If one gives a listening ear and the other talks.... then there is nothing like it.... your interaction level will excel....

So girl...u have it in u... to keep your guy love your talks and make your bond more special...👍🏼

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@-RD-

Stunner

+ 9

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: laxmi_s
true pooja....(@rdfan) ...👍🏼

i posted this topic as the dimension of seeing it has various shades....many perspectives can flow in many views... the way u viewed it as other things being immaterial and preference to more of an emotional connect.....👏

I had this query of opposites when experienced one in the age factor case.... In one of the holy places we happened to put up in the Pandit's house for performing our poojas there for a week and the pandit was quite a hunk and had a muscular physique much to his appearance we even nicknamed him as Mangal pandey(Aamir khan) for his built... He seemed to be around 26 to 27 years of age....we were welcomed by a cute lady who seemed to be around 18-19... years. she was in her pavadai-dhavani attire(ones in south indian similar to ghagra and a odni ) and an elderly lady who was the pandit's mother.... All the time we (our family) considered that cute lady to be the sister of Pandit and we were totally zapped when we came to know she was his wife.... We could not believe it as they were opposites in all ways....from appearances to behaviour to age..... We could never relate them to be in a marraige bond.... Infact we were inquisitive enough and longed to catch glimpses of their interaction too but they shared more of a teacher-student bond where he would tell her to get something....this lady would be on her toes and get it and so on.... We are all wondering what kind of a marital bonding would that be.... What kind of interaction would be there... I mean would they be able to even remotely connect to read each other's mind??

@ Black - Seriously this age thing also baffles me sometimes cause my own cousin is married to a girl whose like 10 years younger to him ...and i am like whoa what do they have in common ??? but it is a love marriage so they must have found a common grnd somewhere ........

Me and my fiance have like a 5 year age difference and i use to think mere or iske beech mein kya baat common ho sakti hai and thats why some of our initial conversations were horrid ......so i guess one shud'nt hold preconceived notions ..like age gap means no connect ......whats in a number any way !!!!!

But seriously i like the way u think n write .....quite rightly somebody is calling u the badi ma of the forum😃

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

@rdfan....

"What's in a number anyway....." u wrote.......👏.... very well put it!

Possibly pooja this perception makes their relation stronger......!

But i seriously cannot understand how an elderly man could relate to a young, kiddish lady as a wife..... may be i am still stuck wondering what kind of mature interaction can happen when they just cannot meet up on any front....😲

But on the other hand younger guys getting attracted to woman much elder to them have a stronger bond as the woman's maturity works in their relationship.... the guy rightfully gives his lady the respect she deserves without questioning much matters as it is her thinking and her maturity which drew him towards her..... such cases somehow envelopes the couples' relationship blissfully.....!

Hey don't pull me with the Badi maa title yaar..... thankx dear for the compliment ......but she is too perfect for me..... I am still dwindling in lots of day to day blunders........🤣

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priyanwada

@priyankumupal

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

In my personal experience i have always felt its not about opposites attracting or similarity that decided how successful a relationship....obviously there are similarities and difference among all couples but its the level of understanding....your attitudes towards life if its similar then your partnership will become a success. a lot of other things matter too....which people only realize once their married....like finances, how to bring up children, jobs.....so many things like that matter....but if you bring it right down to the basics....its mainly about your attitudes towards life and each other.....the more that is same then life becomes that much easier.....

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BeOptimistic

@allizzwell

Stunner

+ 5

Posted: 15 years ago

Originally posted by: priyankumupal
In my personal experience i have always felt its not about opposites attracting or similarity that decided how successful a relationship....obviously there are similarities and difference among all couples but its the level of understanding....your attitudes towards life if its similar then your partnership will become a success. a lot of other things matter too....which people only realize once their married....like finances, how to bring up children, jobs.....so many things like that matter....but if you bring it right down to the basics....its mainly about your attitudes towards life and each other.....the more that is same then life becomes that much easier.....

Rightly said priya......😃....... A marraige is said to be a learning experience..... with its procedural stuffs like managing finances,taking up the parenting, jobs etc........one needs to also tackle with it....its invisible yet practised phenomenas like perceptions, interactions, motivations, aspirations, inspirations etc. Marraige needs a lot of decision-making between the couples in which if one flaws, the other is able to hold on to the flaws and make it right..... So a correct attitude is much much desired for a positive outlook in a successful couple.....

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Aparna

@*dewdrop~pearl*

Rocker

Posted: 15 years ago

#10

The following is my take on the subject - Opposites Attract? 😳

IMO, more than being totally opposites or totally similar, I believe in compatibility. Either of the two single-handedly will not amount to compatibility. I think it should rather be a combination of the two. There are certain aspects which should to be similar, at the same time certain other aspects being different will contribute towards making the relationship interesting.

Where similarity is required between couples...

Certain aspects should be similar between the couple, or else both of them will find it difficult to adjust. It would help if a person's upbringing, lifestyle and standard of living are similar, so that one doesn't have to sacrifice or adjust considerably after marriage and can continue similar lifestyle with minor adjustments. Suhana-Ishan's compatibility problems after marriage is a perfect example of a situation whereby this important criterion was not met.

Similarly, similarity in attitudes and perception is also important, like for eg, if my husband has an MCP attitude that men are supirior to women in a husband-wife relationship, and if my attitude is of equality between men & women, there would be an attitude clash between us on a regular basis, which would hinder the prevalence of a healthy relationship between the two of us in the long run.

Where Opposites Attract...

Regarding opposite attributes, it can basically be in case of NATURE, PERSONALITY & BEHAVIOUR :

NATURE - Like if one is short tempered, definitely the other partner should be calm, patient and long tempered, or else there will be a Mahabharat at home everyday 😆. Similary if one is over-sensitive, the other one should be emotionally mature and practical.

BEHAVIOUR - Like if one is immature, the other should be mature so as to always keep situations under control and maintain a right balance.

PERSONALITY - Like when one is talkative and the other one talks less, its good for both the parties, as generally people who talk less prefers others to talk to them so that they can listen, and since less talkative people are good listeners, talkative people finds them interesting as they have someone who will always listen to them when they talk. So in this way, both of them will keep each other occupied.

Certain Differences that may not be totally appropriate, but can still be accommodated and adjusted...

Differences in Opinions and POVs - These are fine as long as the couple can have healthy discussions without offending each other, basically agreeing to disagree. Neither of the two should be opinionated. Sometimes, such healthy debates or discussions are interesting and thought provoking, adding value to an individual's scope of knowledge.

Differences in interests, which can also be accommodated.

Regarding Difference/Similarity in Profession, there are two viewpoints to this. Some people prefer to marry a person from the same field or profession because of the similarity aspect, but there are also few others who want their life partners to be from a totally different profession as they think life would be boring otherwise, with discussions always routing to the same subject.

So in conclusion, its not about being totally opposite or totally similar, but the right blend of the two that works 😉!

But beyond everything, its true love and understanding between couples that works wonders, and is the secret formula for a HAPPY & SUCCESSFUL marriage 😊.

Edited by *dewdrop~pearl* - 15 years ago

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Opposites attract ???? or !!!!........

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