Hi Arshi... Lovely CB. Loved the way you brought out a poetic feel to the entire piece... The rhythm achieved made it such a delightful read 😳 Pending work threatens to topple me over and I cannot risk over-exert, lest I relapse... But today's episode was a far, far improvement 👍🏼
First, welcome back Jenny 🤗 And second, the hugest Mickey Mouse hugs to K's costume team (the same I've been cursing without restraint these past weeks)... For this episode, they really couldn't have chosen a better sari! 😃
Today was about "Family"... What is a family... What makes a family... What keeps a family... What will break a family... Seemed like we viewers were doing Sid's homework alongside him 😛
Pramad-Kumud conversation: She draws the line yet again. Seeking tacit confirmation, affirmation and validation, from herself, just as a voice belabors the futility of her ritual, of her very fight for survival within two identities. The voice belongs to him for whose relation she has staked all her relations on. And yet, they between them, have no relation, at all. He derides it a charade and he is not wrong. Charade it all it is, but this charade is all she's got. And even with her best intentions, she's condemned a "burden"... A constant, prickling reminder, of it, at that. Before, and time and again, P has dismissed Saras, as a "naukar" and today he assigns the same stature to Kumud. Aligning them yet again and also underscoring a bitter truth... Saras may be one (an employee) in the sense that he "works" for the Dhan's... But Kumud is no less a "servant" assumed to pick up after... Even if it means picking up the pieces of broken father-son, tenuous mother-son relationship. And Kumud was out to gently push the envelope today. You could see her gaze searching Pramad's... What was she seeking for in those dark, unyeilding pools? The self-same misplaced validation she wrenches out of the mirror each day? After all, he is but flesh and blood embodiment of her "line". Was she out to find the "Mr." to her "Mrs. Dhan Dharmadhikari"? Or was this another instance of the Alpha in her making a stand? Whatever the case, Pramad cannot bear scrutiny. He flinches when subjected to even the merest hint of cross-examination. He is weak and when the searchlight is turned upon him, he cowers, then lashes out to conceal his sore point, revealed spontaneously. Today he raised his hand again to get the effect he wanted. He wanted her cowed, submissive. He wanted that gaze lowered because it discomfits him. He views K as a punching bag used to get his frustrations, his inadequacies out. But every now and then Kumud turns into a wall who repels all his charges back onto him. Charges that Pramad himself is not strong enough to withstand, yet does not shy from delivering unheeding to the consequences of a "backfire". That is his tipping point.
Pramad and Kumud. All things aside, the two were manipulated into marriage. She by circs out of her personal control and he by having his hands twisted behind his back. First, she resolved to give this new relation her utmost best. First, he dismissed her as a "thing". Second, she resolved to soldier on. Second, he attempted to have her "removed". Third, she is determined to make this work. Third, she has become like an itch under his skin, that he would scratch till he draws blood. Many a times he has. Her blood, not his. But still his feelings of inadequacies linger. Now today, Pramad and Kumud's relation got further "manipulated" and not for a good end. Before it was Kumud as "wife", as "samaan", as "burden", as "threat", and as "usurper", but today Buddhidhan took things further and branded Kumud as "master"... Very seamlessly passing on the mantle of "dog-trainer" to her... Ironic when you witness the dog collar that adorned her neck. But also, a note about Pramad's scarves... He is never without them... Perhaps an implicit commentary on the noose of patriarchial expectations around his neck? That he is constrained too, and that like a rabid "dog" he sometimes acts out? Who to blame for this, then? BD recieves a "dog-biscuit" from me today 🤢 He persists on comparing P to everyone concievable, perhaps out of some sub-conscious need. In the bedroom, he wards P off K's way as though dismissing a fly... "You may be aimless, but my DIL has a purpose in life, she has house-work to do"... Doing more harm to son and DIL equation than good. Is BD out to stir the pot? Properly cowed, but resenting the witness to his dressing-down, P leaves. And K crumbles, at that point you could see the effort it takes for her to momentarily become a wall, one full of cracks, at that. Because she was forced to grow and comprehend her "fall from grace" overnight, at times like this "Kumudsundari Desai" comes out and your heart breaks to see but how far this cherished angel of the Desai's has fallen. It is at such time that the mirror beckons her, beseeching her to seek her truth but she resolutely turns her back on it. Perhaps, already aware what she will find. Pramad's words, the truth of her life, her existence, Saras' pleas, her current self-worth, all cascading into one and hitting home. She will topple over from the impact, the mirror will not break but Kumud will shatter. Without reparation. So for now, it is perhaps advised she turns her back on.
Saras-Buddhidhan-Pramad Interaction: One father, two sons... Both vying for, in some way. Placed, openly at loggerheads. Saras studious and civic-minded, Pramad, trivial and indifferent. P's place in the frame is by entitlement (grudging at that), while S' is by a cruel twist of fate. Curious mention: BD was sitting turned towards Saras showing Pramad his back, even while addressing him. BD seems to have perfected the art of Dismissal, and when son gives it back to him, dismissing father in his own way, BD cannot condone. Loved K's placement in the middle of BD and Pramad. Another "shelter", "pseudo-mommy" for P, in the making? Thought I detected hint of implicit humiliation in K's face today, that Saras was further privy to Pramad's outbursts... That "ego" in her reared its head for a tinny while, aware of her "fall from grace" before the seriousness of situation pushed her forth to the immediate again. Well captured, I thought, to underscore that K has got not even the littlest corner to earn respite. Attacks on her are full-frontal (Pramad), sly (BD) and determined (Saras).
The way Pramad dragged Saras into the convo... I thought a logic reverse was in operation today... P cannot bear K's gaze on him, and yet he attacked S the very moment Saras disengeged his gaze, perhaps aware he was a "trespasser"... Loved the contrasts brought out today between "beta and naukar" and "beti and naukrani" how true in a sense are Pramad's words... Despite Kumud being their DIL, the Dhan's are employing her to furnish the means to an end, whereas with Saras, BD truly seems to be seeking some semblance of scion-stability, though maybe not an outright heir. But while Pramad persists in showing others their places, he cannot escape the fact that his place too has been delineated. He is but a "dog" to BD... And what he lacks for in loyalty, he attempts to project that "virtue" onto Saras, while BD projects "purpose" onto Kumud. Pramad's words brought out the true nature of Kumud's relation and place within the Dhan family... "Aur iske galle mein toh patta bhi nahi hai"... Ostensibly meaning Saras and him, but the camerawork told a different picture... Kumud became defined at that point with the "dog-collar" resolutely, unashamedly around her neck. So really, it was a comparison between Kumud and Saras... Both in service to the Dhan's in their own ways and both bearing the marks of it... K's collar is a literal "necklace-collar" while S' collar is that cell-phone so authoritatively foisted upon him, by Alak, showing him his place.
What stood out specially was the affect of Saras' humiliation on BD. The man looked ready to blow a gasket or alternatively topple over from cardiac arrest. How does BD really view Saras then? That perception is a grey area and it'll perhaps become more murky than defined when Saras is truly revealed. Saras too seemed poised to retaliate but the near-unbreakable binds him. It does not bind BD tho, but Saras in his regard for K, prevents BD from "breaking his kasam"... Because the consequence (slap) would have been the result of Saras' humiliation and K would have viewed him guilty. Saras is quick to maintain and keep afloat that bridge he is conscientiously building towards K. He will let P win the little battles, Saras is after all, intent on winning the war. Both for Kumud's soul and his redemption. The way BD clings to Saras, further cements his status as "usurper" in P's eyes. And Saras with his words, firmly validates all of BD's affections in him, giving him status of a father, yet resisting from being branded a "son". Can it really work that way? Blood ties are one thing, but what about other ties, that bind? Special kudo's for GR, for showing that purity and pride of Saras so damn well today... Head held high, posture straight, genuine regard in his voice 👏 Underscoring K's "fall from grace" even further. Like a look what she was destined for and look what she landed. But Saras too throws a searchlight on P, hitting a sore point... P as a factor of "humiliation", he by default lashes, and just as he had done for K, BD again comes to intervene, this time with more passion and heart, making this affront even more personal for P. He is banished, as per custom, while the "usurper" holds the fort, holds his father and makes his absence, desired instead of regretful. Hence, Saras is someone to be cut down to size now.
The breakfast table scene: Interestingly whenever K is there, Alak is placed opposite to Saras and whenever she is not, Alak and Saras are aligned. Makes one wonder does it highlight the potential discord between S and A because of K, or does it highlight a rivalry of sorts, lurking in the wings for Kumud and Alak? Because Alak seems to have no time for Kumud, at all. And interestingly it is only when Kumud recedes that Alak is given importance in the narrative... Surely for now, their markers are placed but opposite. And Saras seems to be the deciding factor stuck in between.
Gautam-Jenny, so damn good to see you both re-defining magic again... From voice modulation, to nuances, to body language, to the volumes spoken via wordless gaze *standing-frickin-ovation* 👏
On the other hand is Sid... Comfortably ensconsed between Saras and Kumud. Both a line (BIL) and a conduit (pure in his soul and intentions, probing in his curiosity)... Remember when Saras was at the end of his tether and raised his hands for Divine Intervention and the Divine sent Sid? Well today that marker was re-visited again... He holds Kumud back when she would rather escape Saras' presence and compells her to confront her dreams, her then-reality... She takes Saras back into that ideal space as well, he shared it with her. It was his too. Then seeing him basking in that self-same glow she cannot resist a lash upon his conscience. Today Sid was the line that Kumud was attacking Saras from behind. Not only is she content with the lashes being delivered, but she wants to see their effect on him too. She is merciless that way... Exerts a "soul-claim" on him to condemn him as guilty, anytime, anywhere. He too reciprocates that soul-claim, both accepting her charges and pleading for her to let him make reparation... Kumud's line of defense thus, also turns into a conduit for Saras' missives that family forgives, regardless. Perhaps a huge, unwarranted claim to make. But these are soul-claims we're dealing with. They exert with impunity, never paying heed to reasonableness. Limits, they care not for. Logics, they pay not heed. Soul-claims make no sense on any level but that of the soul. And Saras knows he has some ways to go before he reaches there yet, so he also reminds that family hurts for you, family stays, family feels helpless and yet family saves. But even the littlest pin-pricks of concern, of contriteness irk Kumud like anything so she averts... Family turns on family... "Bas, bas, Navin bhai"... 😆 Poor Sid, Saras and Kumud really went deep and meaningful on the little bacha today. He was like the mediator who has no conception of why he was there. Kudos to him for taking it on so sportingly and for not playing favorites. Like me, Sid is Team Saras-Kumud 😎
Special mention: Last post, I mentioned engagement night, lotus pool... Today seeing the sari so reminiscent of that, seemed like a fond knock on the head from CV's... Took me back to the sequence. The companion reflection still has not forsaken Kumud, now only if she dares to see in the reflected pool of water once again... This convo with Sid in between seemed like a reprise in some respect. Saras making "promises" but their affect on Kumud has changed now... They sound hollow, instead of meaning the world. On the other hand, Kumud stating her ideal, but it is just a revisit now... What they had before was the pinnacle, they're plumbing but the deepest, darkest depths of relations now. Betrayal, heartbreak and the faith, the resolve ensuing from that to strive on relations, even relations beyond repair or redeeming. Kumud is set on one path, and Saras is set on following her through it. Come. What. May.
GR, for "toh apne pati se phir ummeed kyun rakhti ho", *standing-frickin'ovation*
With this line, S shows K what in the mirror she but refuses to see. That Pramad is weak. And Kumud's strength hinges on that. His inadequacies is but her way out, from ever confronting her truth in the mirror. It legitimates the sincerity of Kumud's futile endeavours in some ways. She is doing a "noble service", but the flimsy, ridiculous basis of her excuse becomes clear only when someone and most especially Saras, throws it back out at her. So she twists the topic "family" and throws out his signifier at him "stranger"... For most of the Dhan's Saras may be a "part" but for Kumud Saras only committs trespass... So what of the claims she exerts of him, where does that basis, their legitimacy lie? At the bottom of the lotus pool, I would venture... There are some depths still left for Saras and Kumud to plumb and these depths may just end up showing them their path back to one another. Lit up in "red", I have no doubt about that.
Pramad-MIL-BD-Kumud interaction aka "Kumud as Master": Reminded me of Khotti baat's words... Pramad is dependent on BD. Despite all other claims that he resents or has renounced, P exerts full rights to the financial support that his wealthy father offers him. But today that was snatched as well... And handed to Kumud right in front of his eyes. Kumud who entered the room, solely to perform service and deliver chaii (servant), was elevated to the role of master in a flash, at BD's calculative whim. She now holds power (foisted upon her) over Pramad. From "servant" to "master" she has essentially become the hapless lab rat again, caught up in another one of BD's social experiments regarding the delinquent (Pramad). This time, BD seems to be intent on finding Pramad's breaking point, if he was out for humiliation, what better way to humiliate his son, than to without rhyme or reason elevate Kumud as superior to him. Because there is no basis for BD's sudden endorsement of Kumud. Like Alak, he too blows hot and cold with her. He shows more heart towards Navin than to her. But still, he manipulates her whenever preferred to get rises, reactions or results. This time but he has gone too far and snatched that one entitlement of Pramad he was hell-bent on still claiming with full unapology. Now he will have to ask Kumud (the samaan) for money. He couldn't really have been dragged lower today and Kumud is going to bear the full brunt of it come tomorrow.
Jennifer, for "Kalika"... That split-second change from pacifying undertone, to full authoritative charge... *standing-frickin'-ovation* 😆 Everyone, in today's epi, seemed hell-bent on showing others their place, without discrimination. Perhaps signifying that a family is made of lines and places too, but lines that protect and places that make one feel as belonging... In BD's mansion however, that conventional expectation gets brilliantly subverted each day. With the only "family" in the truest sense remaining the two who have no conventional ties between them, anymore, but do not lack for other strong, binding, resilient ties in the least.
Precap: Preparing for a re-hash of Kumud shutting the door on S' face, but metaphorically and verbally this time... She will not risk humiliating Pramad in front of and because of S. Because she and Saras have not met at common ground yet. And where S is at yet, I'm sure Kumud will very clearly remind him of, once again, as only she can do. For herself, for him and for both of their sakes. Even though that may be the last thing on her consciousness and conscience then. But I would LOVE to be proved wrong, CV's (Gimme a "logic ki vaat" here, anyday) 😳
P.S. Pagh phera? Will Pramad go "faceless" this time as well? That side, Sunny and Kusum are itching for a meet and here BD is going to play a marker right into fate's hands. The outcome? Or even will it be the way we're thinking? No expectations. Surprise us, CV's, do what you do best!
Cricket
Udne Ki Aasha
Veer Hanuman
Anupamaa
