Posted:
'When you don't see me,
When you don't feel me,
When you don't know I exist,
Or perhaps you pretend that way,
Always know my heart is crying,
The pain is unbearable, the hurt evident,
But despite all this I'd rather have it that way.
~*****
Words aren't enough to express what, I feel. They could never be enough to emancipate the emotions. It angers me even that I should allow my self-control to get the better of me, because I've always been proud of the control I have had over myself.
But now you've shattered it. Torn it apart. My heart is in pain, my head's in a dilemma. I don't want to, yet I can't help thinking of you.
I'm lost, embarrassed and scared, because I've shut out emotions from my life for too long now. I've forgotten to feel, how it is to feel. But now you have re-awakened them and forced them to come out in the open.
I wish I could shut my eyes and erase all your memories out of my head, but as much as I want to do that, the idea only hurts even more.
I'm shameless, that way. Even though my existence is as common as any other guy's is in your life, yet I hope that someday things will change.
Sometimes I hope just too much, and I end up in pain. Why can't you see me?
Why don't you want to see me? Why doesn't my feelings penetrate through the shell around you?
Am I that unworthy?
I just want you out of my head, cause every time I close my eyes, all I see is your dazzling image. Fresh like the daisies. I am afraid, that I've let you get the better of me.
Love, isn't for me and I'm not for love. The idea of love is very fascinating but the stark reality, is different.
Holding hands, cuddling, smiling and laughing at each others jokes, aren't for me. As much as I wished they were.
All of those things seem foreign, seem distant to me. Your presence in my life is like a breath of fresh air, asking me to be free.
But I'm afraid, I've allowed myself too much of a freedom.
I can't fall in love with you Sanyukta Agarwal, I won't allow myself to. I know I lost control, I still am, but I won't let you affect me.
Because when I'm affected I can't think straight or act like nothing is happening to me.
But honestly, are you that blind? Or are you choosing to remain ignorant?
I want this ordeal to end, and if that means I'll have to give up on you, I will, even if it breaks my heart and shatters my soul.
~******
A/N:
This was a random blurb actually that came to mind. I don't know if it makes sense, but it was on my mind and I had to pen it down.
It's Randhir's feelings and the turmoil that he's going through because Sanyukta can't see through his feelings.
Always in control, Mr. MCP is terrified of the uncontrollable mechanisms of his emotions.
If you liked this please comment and let me know :)
When you don't feel me,
When you don't know I exist,
Or perhaps you pretend that way,
Always know my heart is crying,
The pain is unbearable, the hurt evident,
But despite all this I'd rather have it that way.
~*****
Words aren't enough to express what, I feel. They could never be enough to emancipate the emotions. It angers me even that I should allow my self-control to get the better of me, because I've always been proud of the control I have had over myself.
But now you've shattered it. Torn it apart. My heart is in pain, my head's in a dilemma. I don't want to, yet I can't help thinking of you.
I'm lost, embarrassed and scared, because I've shut out emotions from my life for too long now. I've forgotten to feel, how it is to feel. But now you have re-awakened them and forced them to come out in the open.
I wish I could shut my eyes and erase all your memories out of my head, but as much as I want to do that, the idea only hurts even more.
I'm shameless, that way. Even though my existence is as common as any other guy's is in your life, yet I hope that someday things will change.
Sometimes I hope just too much, and I end up in pain. Why can't you see me?
Why don't you want to see me? Why doesn't my feelings penetrate through the shell around you?
Am I that unworthy?
I just want you out of my head, cause every time I close my eyes, all I see is your dazzling image. Fresh like the daisies. I am afraid, that I've let you get the better of me.
Love, isn't for me and I'm not for love. The idea of love is very fascinating but the stark reality, is different.
Holding hands, cuddling, smiling and laughing at each others jokes, aren't for me. As much as I wished they were.
All of those things seem foreign, seem distant to me. Your presence in my life is like a breath of fresh air, asking me to be free.
But I'm afraid, I've allowed myself too much of a freedom.
I can't fall in love with you Sanyukta Agarwal, I won't allow myself to. I know I lost control, I still am, but I won't let you affect me.
Because when I'm affected I can't think straight or act like nothing is happening to me.
But honestly, are you that blind? Or are you choosing to remain ignorant?
I want this ordeal to end, and if that means I'll have to give up on you, I will, even if it breaks my heart and shatters my soul.
~******
A/N:
This was a random blurb actually that came to mind. I don't know if it makes sense, but it was on my mind and I had to pen it down.
It's Randhir's feelings and the turmoil that he's going through because Sanyukta can't see through his feelings.
Always in control, Mr. MCP is terrified of the uncontrollable mechanisms of his emotions.
If you liked this please comment and let me know :)
Iss Pyaar Ko Kya Naam Doon
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