Spoiler: Dharam first wife to return - Page 6

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

You'd be surprised, but SO many people are influenced by television and movies. I'm not saying it's the only medium that causes abusive behavior, but it's definitely a strong relating factor. When abuse is glorified and romanticized on television, it really does influence people's mindset. People come to believe that if they manhandle their wife or husband, they will be forgiven because it's romantic in a married setting, which it's NOT.

The influence does not happen over one show or scene. It happens when shoes continuously show this, which they have been. How many shows have the male leads pushing or shoving the female leads in the name of passion? How many have them slapping the female leads and later being forgiven because they're the husband, or because their jealousy and anger was "justified"?

Why point fingers at other shows? Our SNS itself has this. How many times has Ahem emotionally and physically abused Gopi? I'm not saying Gopi is blameless in the relationship, but nothing she did warranted being slapped by Ahem or spoken to as if she was dirt.

Just because Ahem and Gopi are still married does not mean I want Dheera to remain married because of this. Meera is supposed to symbolize the new generation. I really do not want to see her follow her mother's foot steps and forgive Dharam's abusive behavior. Nothing gives Dharam the right to treat Meera like she is a servant, shove her and make her sleep in the corner of the room!

Originally posted by: xPalkix

Okay you can blame the media and television but I strongly feel that takes away the blame from the abuser. It's like how the politicians blame video games and internet for rising crime level which is not untrue but it's also taking away their blame of not providing enough safety. It's the parents responsibility to direct their children towards the right path. And that's why education is extremely important so you know right and wrong and don't take such shows to heart...

Even I don't like how such shows only have girls working in the house and men outside but that didn't get made into a huge issue.

If you're saying that shows increase things then why doesn't shows stop things. Most of the time, shows are lecturing the audience to be good human beings. Why do bad people stay bad? Because shows don't control these things.

@Bold Oh pho! This is exactly why I ship Dheera. Because Meera won't tolerate it. They're both strong characters who will poke each other's buttons, that's what I want to see.

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

I'm not taking away blame from the abuser, but how did the abuser become the abuser? No one is born evil. Everyone is born neither good or bad. They are taught to behave one way or other through different factors in life. Parents do shape their kids initially, but once the kids reach an age where they can think for themselves (like adolescence), parents stop being the primary influence in their lives. Friends influence them, media influences them, school influences them, etc.

Why do you think the amount of eating disorders is increasing every year? It's because media is promoting a woman to have a size zero figure. All the heroines in movies are ridiculously skinny. When people take actors and actresses as role models (which they do), they try to be like them, and when they all try to get a size zero figure, they develop eating disorders, which unfortunately can lead to death if not taken care of.

Even in terms of rape and domestic abuse, the entire blame does not go to media, but we cannot deny that it definitely influences the public on dangerous levels. Fortunately television is not as bad as movies in the message it shows, but television is deteriorating everyday, and we cannot ignore the influence it has on people.

Rapists/abusers are not born that way.

Murderers are not born that way.

Thieves are not born that way.

No one is born a criminal. They become a criminal through the influences that created their personality.

Education does not necessarily stop crimes. Are educated people not rapists, murderers or thieves? Are those crimes only restricted to the uneducated class? NO. In fact, majority of crimes are committed by highly educated people who have the power and money to hide their crimes. So education is not what's important to stop crimes. A person should be taught values and a basic interest in another human's welfare. One doesn't need a college degree to be taught these values. Even a poor person who has never gone to school can have these values, but unfortunately, majority of humans these days don't have these values.

And if Dharam turns out to be abusive towards Meera, I don't want Meera to "turn him good". I want her to punish him and leave him, giving the message to viewers that no one should put up with abuse in marriage. It is what Gopi should have done to Ahem long back, but since she never did it, I want her daughter to do it.

Honestly, SNS lost its charm from the moment Giaa left. The show was something else back then. It was about the relationship between two cousins. I loved Rashi and Gopi's dynamic, and Giaa made Gopi sweet and simple. Deboleena made her annoying and groveling. I don't care what SNS does anymore. The essence of the show was destroyed long back.

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

I'm not taking away blame from the abuser, but how did the abuser become the abuser? No one is born evil. Everyone is born neither good or bad. They are taught to behave one way or other through different factors in life. Parents do shape their kids initially, but once the kids reach an age where they can think for themselves (like adolescence), parents stop being the primary influence in their lives. Friends influence them, media influences them, school influences them, etc.

Why do you think the amount of eating disorders is increasing every year? It's because media is promoting a woman to have a size zero figure. All the heroines in movies are ridiculously skinny. When people take actors and actresses as role models (which they do), they try to be like them, and when they all try to get a size zero figure, they develop eating disorders, which unfortunately can lead to death if not taken care of.

Even in terms of rape and domestic abuse, the entire blame does not go to media, but we cannot deny that it definitely influences the public on dangerous levels. Fortunately television is not as bad as movies in the message it shows, but television is deteriorating everyday, and we cannot ignore the influence it has on people.

Rapists/abusers are not born that way.

Murderers are not born that way.

Thieves are not born that way.

No one is born a criminal. They become a criminal through the influences that created their personality.

Education does not necessarily stop crimes. Are educated people not rapists, murderers or thieves? Are those crimes only restricted to the uneducated class? NO. In fact, majority of crimes are committed by highly educated people who have the power and money to hide their crimes. So education is not what's important to stop crimes. A person should be taught values and a basic interest in another human's welfare. One doesn't need a college degree to be taught these values. Even a poor person who has never gone to school can have these values, but unfortunately, majority of humans these days don't have these values.

And if Dharam turns out to be abusive towards Meera, I don't want Meera to "turn him good". I want her to punish him and leave him, giving the message to viewers that no one should put up with abuse in marriage. It is what Gopi should have done to Ahem long back, but since she never did it, I want her daughter to do it.

Honestly, SNS lost its charm from the moment Giaa Manek left. The show was something else back then. It was about the relationship between two cousins. I loved Rashi and Gopi's dynamic, and Giaa made Gopi sweet and simple. Deboleena made her annoying and groveling. I don't care what SNS does anymore. The essence of the show was destroyed long back.

Originally posted by: ninag

yawn. Calm down its only a show. If you don't like it don't watch it. I'm scared now there is going to be a stampede of girls rushing off to marry their sisters father in law. 😆

Originally posted by: xPalkix

I agree with most of these points but I do not think television or movies shape people as much as culture and upbringing and education. Education is important, yes educated people commit crimes as well but that doesn't mean it's not important. With education, people learn their rights and good education would make them learn what's wrong. If no one is taught their rights, how will they seek justice and how will people realise what is wrong?

Not saying without education this is impossible but education does push people forward.

Answer this: Despite shows and movies promoting good morals, why do bad people still exist? If shows did influence people, it should lead to good things. Take all those BW movies for example, they are all hugely focused on love but love marriages are still looked down upon in parts of India. This is because of norms and rules the society places. There are bigger reasons for why a person turns bad than shows or movies which play a very very minor role.

Originally posted by: ..RamKiJanaki..

That's because people are more influenced by bad than good, and it's true. It's so much easier to make bad decisions than it is to make good decisions, because some bad decisions bring immediate gratification, and it's easy for people to fall into a pattern of bad behavior, whereas sometimes it's really hard to be good with so many temptations around us.

As for love marriages, it's not a fact that love marriages are "good" and arranged marriages are "bad". Both are just different paths to matrimony. Neither is good or bad. It's people's personal choice what they prefer, and India as a country prefers arranged marriages over love marriages, because the concept of love before marriage comes from the west, and India's culture is different. There's no rule that India has to change its entire culture because the western one is more popular. There is domestic abuse both in love and arranged marriages, and both can end in divorce. It just depends on how compatible two people are.

Again, I did not say media is the only determining factor of abuse, but no one can deny that it's one of the important facts that affect it. So many studies have been supporting it.

Originally posted by: xPalkix

First of all studies aren't always reliable.

Media can become the biggest factor in influencing people IF that's what the person spends most time with. Many studies have also shown that children who spend more time watching tv are the ones who get influenced by it easily. Not everyone though because not all parents let their children watch too much tv. You're most likely to get influenced in childhood. This is why parents are supposed to control what their kids watch at a young age.

It is not the shows responsibility to give advice and do everything the way you think is right. They only want to provide entertainment. Plus, I don't think this is a huge issue that it should create such argument. There are more serious thing in the world that need changing. This is just one minor thing which you don't agree with. I am actually horrified to see such reaction! Amused too 😆 And annoyed too -_-

When I was talking about love marriages, I did not even mention arranged marriages -_-

Just because I think love marriages are fine, it doesn't mean I am against arranged marriages.

@Bold That's what I've been trying to say all this time Urg! 😆

Don't bring up the western culture and all, I never mentioned it. Love marriages have been happening before movies got made and before western influence.