I've only recently started rewatching this show ( I stopped after the whole Gopi and Ahem drinking bhaang, etc thing) and I'd like to offer my two cents :P
I am also annoyed with Madhuben. She's constantly trying to one-up Kokila despite the fact that Kokila has done nothing to her but be kind. And she's also abusing the way the Modi's have been so hospitable. Like bringing a dhol into the house and questioning the way they celebrate birthdays? Really? If I was part of the Modi's, I'd be annoyed. But despite all that, I can kind of see where she is coming from. Madhuben is severely disturbed. The fact that she didn't let Radha even out of her sights for school/ an education is extremely telling. And now that she's finally gotten her lost daughter back after so many years, she's definitely feeling insecure. She probably feels like she's Gopi's real mother so she should be able to do mother-like things for her (ex. getting her chai, setting baths for her, trying to make her relax), especially as she never had the chance to before because she'd lost Gopi. But when she sees Kokila doing that, she feels jealous and angry because she thinks that only she, as Gopi's rightful mother, has the right to do things like that for Gopi (in her own way, she's trying to make up all the lost years to Gopi and sees Kokila threatening her efforts). At this point, she is too blinded by insecurity (of her place in Gopi's life) to realize that Kokila is doing nothing wrong, and instead should be appreciated. So despite the annoying-ness of Madhuben, I can see where she is coming from.
And Radha is idk. Actually, I think the story is alright right now too. If they had made Radha educated like Rashi, it could've been nice. Radha giving Rashi tit for tat, unlike Gopi. But the angle they're going with is interesting too. Radha is in the same position as Gopi when she was growing up with Rashi/ living with the Modi's. And Gopi had to innocently take everything from Rashi because a) she didn't know better b) no one taught her any better c) no on stopped it/ helped her. But with Radha, sure she doesn't know any better, but she has people on her side. We saw today how both Madhuben and Kokila were on Radha's side. Radha is being taught better (well I hope she learned something in today's episode). She's basically what Gopi could've/ would've been if there was someone to help her. And personally, I think it's really interesting to see how Radha (or Gopi 2.0 in my eyes) will turn out by not being forced to be Rashi's slave/ object to manipulate/ scapegoat.
And as for Rashi, I'm confused. On one hand, I think she has changed a little bit. She isn't always out to get Gopi and now-a-days, she focuses on herself instead of focusing on making Gopi's life hell. But then sometimes she turns around and turns back into that rude jerk who loves making people dance to her tunes. I think Kokila had once said that Rashi herself isn't so bad, its Urmila who is the real culprit, and I agree with that statement. IDK. And as for the Rashi screaming at Madhuben after her mother was insulted, remember there are two side to every argument. From Rashi POV, yes she was right. Like you and her, if anyone was badmouthing my mother, I'd be angry at that person too. But if you look at it from Madhuben or Kokila POV, Rashi was wrong because she was the one who started the entire mess in the first place. If she had never filled Radha's head w/ nonsense/ had Radha not do the work, the entire altercation could've been avoided.
And regarding Kokila being too hard on Rashi, okay yes, she is too hard on Rashi sometimes. But I think that despite her drastic measures, her harshness keeps Rashi in check. If Kokila didn't reprimand Rashi and let her run free, Rashi would relapse back into her mother's puppet. Rashi, through Kokila's harshness has been conditioned to believe that her mother's ideas will get her in trouble, and its true. Whenever Rashi does something Urmila says (and I remember in the beginning of the show, Rashi used to listen to Urmila) it always ends up backfiring on Rashi eventually. So now, Rashi doesn't listen to her mother's plan's that often and over time, she's mellowed down her cruelty and manipulation a little because when it comes to Rashi, she cares a lot more about herself and her happiness then destroying somebody, unlike Urmila.
And oh, regarding NeerajaGirish's post about Kokila's upbringing being faulty, idk. I think Ahem, Jigar, and Kinjal have turned out alright. I mean obviously they all have their vices (Ahem and his anger/ Jigar and his passiveness/ Kinjal and her decision making problems, manipulativeness) but they've turned out to be normal adults. Ahem controls the business and has a good life with Gopi ( most of the time ) and he's a very loving father to Meera. Jigar also controls the business and likewise has a pretty content family life. And Kinjal tries her hardest to help Dhawal as much as she can (actually I feel bad for Kinjal because she has to contend with Urmila as a MIL). She's raised some pretty level headed kids (Kinjal, I will admit is hit-and-miss) who don't try to actively ruin other people's lives for no reason at all.
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