Posted:
Here is the second part of today's post.
The first part can be found here - https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/saath-nibhaana-saathiya/2981909/may-16-anita-rashi-epi-pics-part-1
Today we got a better understand of how Ahem feels and what he wants from Gopi. He wants her to be exclusively his, he wants her attention, her care, her love & her by his side. His frustration over her worry for Anita & his mom drove him to vent his anger at her and unfortunately he made the grievous error of comparing his wife to the ex-girlfriend...Ahem this is a BIG no no, a man must never, ever, under any circumstance do that, it demolishes trust and increases the feelings of inadequacy in the other partner.
Let's take a look at Gopi
- She has always been the unloved orphan who like Cinderella is accustomed to cooking, cleaning and taking care of everyone. From her parents death, she has had to live her life knowing she is unwanted and that good fortune will not come to her easily.
- Before marriage the only male figure in her life was her uncle and while he seems to care for her, we're not sure how much of the abuse he was able to stop from Urmi & Rashi. I have a feeling he was helpless to stop any of the abuse as UrShi was always a dominant force in the household.
- Now she has gotten married, she quickly realizes that the man she thought would love and care for her in actuality hates her. She suffered his physical, verbal, mental and emotional abuse for almost 1.5 years.
- Finally she wins him and his mother over through her never-ending patience, sweetness, care and love for all in the household.
- Today many of us jumped on her (myself included) because we realized she was partly to blame for Ahem's anger, but after reviewing the episode again, I have shifted my position.
- Gopi did at the party what she was used to doing her whole life and that is worry about others and feeling guilty about being away. This is the first time she and her husband has been out alone to an event, and she was nervous about being around his friends.
- Remember she is still the simple girl who is more used to hiding in the kitchen quietly working rather than sipping cocktails and making small talk with strangers.
- Ahem said she stood in a corner and worried the whole time about his mom's health. This is true to Gopi's nature, she is unselfish and always puts herself before others. See she has never had anyone who wanted her to be with them, who actually wanted her presence and wanted to show her off. So she was unprepared for him to be feeling this way. I think she was shocked to hear his words. Gopi inadvertently hurt the one person she would rather die for than hurt.
- What Ahem needed to do was take a moment and step back from the situation and try to see it from his wife's perspective. She was doing what she has always done and that is to care for all, while sacrificing her own happiness.
- I think the problem lies in Ahem not understanding his wife, sure a woman like Anita would be great at social gatherings but would she be a real wife the other days of the week? Would she serve him selflessly and take the utmost care of his smallest needs?
- This is only the second man in Gopi's life and as their love is new she is still learning how to relate to him. She has so long been the unpaid servant of Modi Mansion than she has not realized that things have changed and Ahem now wants a wife, a life partner and a woman who will be by his side.
- Somewhere in the back of her mind she remembers the Ahem who cringed at her touch, whose words were like daggers to her heart and who could not stand the sight of her.
- Their relationship have slowly been progressing and we know he is in love with her, but she does not know this yet, she is like an abused animal who is finally getting the love she was so long denied, and while she is tentative and her heart fills with joy, she remembers the pain of the past abuse.
- One thing that stood out to me was the way she made herself smaller when he was yelling at her. When he slammed the door she flinched as if hit. She has been taking abuse all her life, and Ahem needs to learn more about his wife before he goes off on her again.
- He needs to learn to be her protector not her abuser. He reverted to his old self today with his yelling, but when he turned around and realized she was gone, his expression changed and you see that he has realized he has hurt her. This is a big change for him. He normally would yell at her and walk out the door, today she did and he is shocked.
- From the pre-cap it looks like she is once again willing to be the eternal martyr and sacrifice her love for Ahem by withdrawing and leaving Anita to go after him. I sure hope the Dynamic Duo convinces her this is the absolute wrong thing to do.
Just my POV, I may be way off base. I have avoided reading any of your analysis before I did this post as I didn't want to be swayed in any direction before re-watching the episode. I will now go read what you all wrote. 😆
Thanks for reading this LOOONG post.
Turmoil - A state of great disturbance, confusion, or uncertainty. (see page 3 for my note)
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