FF: For Ahem and Gopi. (Part 3 updated) page 2

saathiya_lover thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#1
I am writing this fanfic for the first time for any serials. I'm bengali so I don't know much about gujrati culture and language please correct me.

I am going to write from just before Nani's entry into the scene. But sorry my story does not have Nani in it. I'm introducing a character of my own.


Part 1
Gopi left the day before and the whole family are having Rashi's tasteless breakfast.
Ahem: mani ye kya hai? na namak na masala hai.
Mani: wo ahem bhai, gopi bhabhi nahi hai isliye aaj rashi bhabhi ne nashta banayi.
Ahem was fuming at the mention of Gopi's name yet he kept quiet since it was only day 1 that she had gone.
Koki: rashi ye sab kya hai. sab ke sab tasteless kacche kacche khana. hum sab ye kaise kayi.
Hetal: galti meri hai. hamari rasore samalne wali chali gayi or rashi ko pata nahi sab cheesai kaha hai. mujhe dekhna chaiye tha.
Ahem: mom main office ke liye nikalte hu. main nashta wahi khalungi. jai sri krishna.

Ahem got up and went to pick up his bag. He turned and walk towards the front door and opened it and was shocked to see a young girl wearing a short green dress just about to ring the doorbell. She was dressed in such a western way that you could not tell that she was an indian girl. Then Ahem saw her huge luggage and the angry frown he had on his face turned into a huge smile.
Koki: ahem kya hua? kaun hai darwazo par?
Parag: (to koki) kahi gopi vau wapas aagayi hai kya?
Ahem: mom, papa, kaka, kaki aap sab jaldi aakar dekhiye kaun aaya hai.

Everyone got worried about who had made their presence and rushed towards the front door to see and had got a huge shock to see the girl standing in front of them. They all stared at her and then......
Hetal: Kamna!!
Kamna: jai sri Krishna.
Baa: Kamna meri bacchi.
Kamna: nani jai sri krishna. (gives baa a huge hug, get ashirwaad and hug from all mama mamis)
Chirag: ar re kamna tum yaha kaise? America se kab aayi?
Kamna: Wo kya hai mota mama, dad ne bheja do hafte pehle aur....
Hetal: do hafte pehli aayi to ghar kyun nahi aayi? aur haame bataya kyun nahi?
Kamna: mami, papa ne kuch business ke kaam se bheja hai isliye busy thi. kafi business parties main jana para bohot important contracts ke liye.
Koki: lekin tum asi halat mein. (whispers to her) kapre nahi thi kya?
Kamna: main abhi delhi ke ek party khatam karke arahi hu. bas gari main bat gayi aur plane pakar ke chali aayi.
Koki: phir bhi koi sari ya suit pas mein rakleti. tu janti hai rajkot mein accha nahi dekhati.
Kamna: sorry mami phir se ye galti nahi hogi. ok
Koki: saru.
Kamna: Jigar kaisa hai meri bhai. tera nani ki saat shararat karna gayi ya abhi bhi karta hai?
Jigar: aap baa ko khudhi puch lijiye na (smiles)
Kamna: o ho shaadi ke baad ziyada bolna sikh gaya na. (pulls jigar's ear)
aur ahem kaisa hai tu. tera angry young man chehra aur tomato ki tara muh poolake bethna gayi nahi abhi tak.


Edited by samiya315 - 14 years ago

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SIP1997 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#2
Very good, please continue soon.
walquest2000 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#3
@samiya315

A very interesting take. This was more interesting than the Serial itself. Perhaps TRPs would have jumped and all channels would jump on this band wagon ! West-ward ho !
estty thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#4
i want to enjoy this story but can't as it's dialogue r written in hindi n am african there4 i find it difficult so pls could u translate it in english plsssssssssss
walquest2000 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: samiya315

I am writing this fanfic for the first time for any serials. I'm bengali so I don't know much about gujrati culture and language please correct me.


I am going to write from just before Nani's entry into the scene. But sorry my story does not have Nani in it. I'm introducing a character of my own.



Gopi left the day before and the whole family are having Rashi's tasteless breakfast.
Ahem: mani ye kya hai? na namak na masala hai. (Mani, what is this? No salt, no masala?)
Mani: wo ahem bhai, gopi bhabhi nahi hai isliye aaj rashi bhabhi ne nashta banayi. (Oh, Ahem, Gopi is not here, that is why Rashi prepared the breakfast !)
Ahem was fuming at the mention of Gopi's name yet he kept quiet since it was only day 1 that she had gone.
Koki: rashi ye sab kya hai. sab ke sab tasteless kacche kacche khana. hum sab ye kaise kayi. (Rashi, what is this, every thing is tastless, raw, raw food, how can we eat this?)
Hetal: galti meri hai. hamari rasore samalne wali chali gayi or rashi ko pata nahi sab cheesai kaha hai. mujhe dekhna chaiye tha. (The fault is mine. One who used to manage the kitchen is gone and Rashi has no idea where things are, and I should have seen to it.)
Ahem: mom main office ke liye nikalte hu. main nashta wahi khalungi. jai sri krishna. (Mom, I am getting late for office. I will have my breakfast there. Jai Shri Krishna)

Ahem got up and went to pick up his bag. He turned and walk towards the front door and opened it and was shocked to see a young girl wearing a short green dress just about to ring the doorbell. She was dressed in such a western way that you could not tell that she was an indian girl. Then Ahem saw her huge luggage and the angry frown he had on his face turned into a huge smile.
Koki: ahem kya hua? kaun hai darwazo par? (Ahem, what happened? Who is at the door?)
Parag: (to koki) kahi gopi vau wapas aagayi hai kya? (Oh Koki, perhaps Gopi has come back?)
Ahem: mom, papa, kaka, kaki aap sab jaldi aakar dekhiye kaun aaya hai. (Mom, Uncle, Aunty, please all of you come and see who has come)

Everyone got worried about who had made their presence and rushed towards the front door to see and had got a huge shock to see the girl standing in front of them. They all stared at her and then......
Hetal: Kamna!!
Kamna: jai sri Krishna.
Baa: Kamna meri bacchi. (Kamna, my child)
Kamna: nani jai sri krishna. (gives baa a huge hug, get ashirwaad and hug from all mama mamis) - (Grandma, Jai Shri Krishna. Hugs and takes her blessing from all elders)
Chirag: ar re kamna tum yaha kaise? America se kab aayi? (Kamna, how come you are here? When did you come back from America?)
Kamna: Wo kya hai mota mama, dad ne bheja do hafte pehle aur....(You know Uncle, Dad sent me two weeks back, and...)
Hetal: do hafte pehli aayi to ghar kyun nahi aayi? aur haame bataya kyun nahi? (Two weeks back? Why did you not come home and why did you not inform us?)
Kamna: mami, papa ne kuch business ke kaam se bheja hai isliye busy thi. kafi business parties main jana para bohot important contracts ke liye. (aunty, Papa had send me for some business, and I was busy with the work, and there were many business parties, and had to sign important contracts).
Koki: lekin tum asi halat mein. (whispers to her) kapre nahi thi kya? (And you in this state? Did you not have any clothes?)
Kamna: main abhi delhi ke ek party khatam karke arahi hu. bas gari main bat gayi aur plane pakar ke chali aayi. (I came just now from Delhi, from a party, and took a plane and came here).
Koki: phir bhi koi sari ya suit pas mein rakleti. tu janti hai rajkot mein accha nahi dekhati. (Even then, you should have brought some sarees, or suit. You knew in Rajkot this attire does not look nice.)
Kamna: sorry mami phir se ye galti nahi hogi. ok (Sorry, Aunty, I will not repeat this mistake again, o.k?)
Koki: saru. (O.K>)
Kamna: Jigar kaisa hai meri bhai. tera nani ki saat shararat karna gayi ya abhi bhi karta hai? (Jigar, how are you my dear brother, are you still having your pranks with grand mother?)
Jigar: aap baa ko khudhi puch lijiye na (smiles) (You can ask grandma, yourself)
Kamna: o ho shaadi ke baad ziyada bolna sikh gaya na. (pulls jigar's ear) (Oh, after marriage he has learnt to speak a lot.)
aur ahem kaisa hai tu. tera angry young man chehra aur tomato ki tara muh poolake bethna gayi nahi abhi tak. (And you Ahem, how are you. Your angry face of a young man, and puffing a tomato like mouth. is still there with you?)




This is for the benefit our our African member. Hope the author will not mind it.
saathiya_lover thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#6
i want to thank walquest2000 for puttng the english dialogues. i realised i didnt do that and a lot of people would be confused so i'll post with english dialogue too.
saathiya_lover thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#7
Part 2
Ahem was surprised that his sister remember so much about him. This made him smile and reply
Ahem: aap to humme bachpan se jante hai di ( you know me from childhood di)
Kamna: phir bhi tu bohot cute aur handsome lagta hai (still you look cute and handsome)
aur ye kaun hai? (and who is this?)
Everyone turned and saw Kamna facing Rashi.
Jigar: ye rashi hai. mere patni. (this is rashi my wife)
rashi ye kamna ben hai, meri ranjana bua ki beti ( rashi this is kamna ben, ranjana aunty's daughter)
Kamna: jigar maine tujhe kitne baar kaha tha ki mujhe ben maat bula. bohat old fashioned hai. mujhe pasand nahi hai jab meri apne mujhe ben se pukarta hai. (jigar how many times have i told you not to call me ben, it old fashioned and i dont like it when my own call me by that)
Ahem: jigar tu kabhi sudharega nahi (jigar you will never change habits)
Everybody started laughing at the commentry. While they were laughing Kamna was staring at Rashi very carefully with a smile on her face. Kokila did not miss this. She knew very well what Kamna was doing and just watched as Rashi started to feel uncomfortable.
Jigar: vese di aap ko mere patni kaisi lagi? (so di how do you like my choice of wife?)
Kamna: shundar hai, dekhne mein acchi hai..... (she is pretty and good looking.....)
Jigar: acchi lagi? ( do you like her?)
Kamna: abhi to mile hai, meri pasand dur ki baat hai ( we just met, liking her is out of the question..)
Kamna started to circle Rashi and make comments about her.
Kamna: shundar hai, dekhne mein acchi hai, lagta hai bohot acche family se aayi hai. bahar mein shundar ek pari jaisi lekin andar mein shaitaan hai. just like ying and yang. [then she faced rashi] kyun sach bola na hai? ( she is pretty and good looking probably from a good family too. outside she is like a fairy but inside she is a witch, like ying and yang. [she faced rashi] did i say the truth or what?)


-GayabCat- thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#8
continue on
hope u have read my ff
have updated the next chapter do read
http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=1612408
saathiya_lover thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#9

Part 3

Rashi became so stunned at the comments that her mouth went so dry she would faint right at that moment. Finally Jigar broke the ice

Jigar: [laughing] kya rashi dar gayi? di mazak karahi hai. hamesha se di aisa hai ulti sidhi kuch bhi bolti hai aur baad mein hum sab haste hai. (are you scared rashi?Di is just having a little fun, she always says lots of nonsense then we all start laughing.)

Rashi still did not feel convinced and by now was scared to death.

Hetal: rashi, hamari kamna aisi hai. hamesha panga larati hai sabki. aur abhi to mile ho tum dono to kamna ek din mein kaise janegi hamari rashi kaisi hai. (rashi, our kamna is always like this pulling on everyone's leg. and you just met so how can she decide what our rashi is like in one day.)

Kamna: rashi seriously main mazak karahi thi. tum bura mat manna, mein hamesha aisi karti hu jigar aur ahem ke saath.(seriously rashi i was joking, don't take it personally. I always joke like this with jigar and ahem)

Finally Rashi became convinced that Kamna was pulling her leg. Kamna was just smiling while everyone was laughing at the whole situation. Only one person did not laugh and that was Kokila. She had a knowing smirk on her face and she knew very well that Kamna had just hit the jackpot. She knew Kamna was telling the truth in a twisted way but was she actually serious or was she joking kokila had to find out.

Kamna had a good look around and noticed that Gopi was not around so she questioned Ahem.

Kamna: ahem tera patni kaha hai? [pointing to jigar] mein to is joru ka gulam ke patni se mil chuki hu. tera joru kaha hai? (ahem where is your wife? I met this servant's master where is yours?)

Ahem was now thinking what am I going to answer to di. How am I going to tell her I sent Gopi away. He knew well that his sister always thought high of him and if she finds out about this she would leave the very instant and never come back. Kokila did not want to answer but knew Ahem would not answer either because he was afraid of what Kamna would say. Finally Kokila had to open her mouth

Kokila: wo apni maiyke mein gayi hai, kinjal ki pagphere ki samay wo aayegi . ahem to aaj office karke kinjal ko lene jaigi, tab dono ek shaath aajaygi. (she is gone to her family, she will be back during kinjal's homecoming. ahem will go to office then he will go pick both of them)

Ahem was now shocked to hear his mom say this. Now what did he have to go and get that gavar back. But if he didn't his di wouldn't let him go that easily.

Kamna: ahem aaj tu office jara hai? jab mein vacation se aati thi tab tu kisi bahana kar ke office nahi jati aur kehta tha di aayi hai unki saath maza karna hai, ghumna phirna hai aur ab mujhe bhul gaya. ( ahem you are going to office? whenever I used to come here for vacation you used to make excuses for not going to the office, saying di is here, we are having fun with her, going here and there. and now you forgot me.)

Ahem: nahi di wo kya hai ki……( no di its just that…….)

Chirag: ahem aaj tum aur jigar gharme raho, kamna ke saath raho aur maza karo. waise aaj kinjal ki pagphere hai, saab bacche ek saath raho aur ghumo phiro. (ahem today you and jigar stay home with kamna and have fun. Besides today is kinjal's homecoming so stay together and have fun and go places.)

Ahem: lekin kaka office mein kam pare hai…(but uncle I have some work left in the office)

Chirag: Ahem ek din tum office nahi jaogi to koi nuksan nahi hoga. (Ahem if you don't go one day we are not going to have a loss ok)

Kamna: So this is final. Main aaj tum logo ki shaath aaj maza karungi. ( I am going to have fun with you guys.)

Now Ahem was in a tight situation. What was he going to do?

SIP1997 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#10
great update, love your story, please continue soon.

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