I'm truly disappointed in Tej today

Time after time; why it is always proven at the end of everything that a women married into a house is not and will never be part of the house? How much tapasya must women endure to finally be accepted full heartily into their family? When a woman undergoes kanyadhan, they are giving a DAUGHTER away but she is never or hardly treated like a daughter. Why is it like this?

I can't understand how Toasty fell for Tej. Maybe her mothering nature attracted her to a mother-less guy. But I agree with everything said above. Tej is not fit to be a husband. If he did not want her to do this he should have stopped her at all costs and should not have given in to her arguments. He partnered with her...even did high fives and clapped for her...

WHAT I DONT UNDERSTAND IS THE TALK OF THROWING HER OUT OF THE HOUSE each time as if he is not a family member but an employee who can be fired at will.

tosty need to leave this idiot tej and chaturvedi parivaar.

these tej is not worth even to make bad comment about him

Great post Naina!

The problem is two folds. One Toasty is willing to go above and beyond to make everyone happy, not realizing that one cannot ever make everyone happy and secondly, the distrust the C family have for women. Put yourself in Tej's position, wouldnt you be mad at your wife? Yes of course he went overboarded threathening her at every point that he will throw her out, but him being angry is very understandable. Toasty screwed this up, unfortunately this is her own undoing. Shobha just fueled it. Malti is an unfortunate victim just this time along with Chedi. Tej is venting his frustration and i can sympathise. If you witness your father being arrested on false charges becoz of someone you knew you had a bad relation with, anyone in his place will do the same as Tej will. Peace doesnt come just one way..its always a two way road. This time around, Toasty did dig up her own marital grave.

People say treat wife as part of family but in reality they want special treatment for her - that is why the conflict. Would not Tej react similarly if it was Prachin or Gyan's fault? - for sure he would have, he would have probably slapped them also 10 times - then why can not he shout at Toasty when clearly her constant push over brought this miserable experince?She was

Don't see anybody ever threatening Gyan or Pracheen or anyone else with separation from family or asking them to get out of the house every time a mistake is made.

If getting thrown out of the house for faults is the chatur solution then shouldn't Pashu have been thrown out or threatened to be thrown out for all his past misdeeds and false accusations earlier? No one talks of anyone leaving or getting thrown out of the house no matter what mistakes they make, except for Toasty.

Yes Toasty is going overboard with her defense of Malti but she is definitely NOT treated as part of the Chatur family by any of them including her husband.

Originally posted by: coolkitty_23

The problem is two folds. One Toasty is willing to go above and beyond to make everyone happy, not realizing that one cannot ever make everyone happy and secondly, the distrust the C family have for women. Put yourself in Tej's position, wouldnt you be mad at your wife? Yes of course he went overboarded threathening her at every point that he will throw her out, but him being angry is very understandable. Toasty screwed this up, unfortunately this is her own undoing. Shobha just fueled it. Malti is an unfortunate victim just this time along with Chedi. Tej is venting his frustration and i can sympathise. If you witness your father being arrested on false charges becoz of someone you knew you had a bad relation with, anyone in his place will do the same as Tej will. Peace doesnt come just one way..its always a two way road. This time around, Toasty did dig up her own marital grave.

~Naina

Its not even Tej's house for him to kick anyone out or bring someone back without his father's blessings. He doesn't have a penny to his name, in fact nothing except Toasty he can call really call 100% his own. Maybe that's why he treats her so shabbily.

And if the logic is that Tej is part of the family, and so it is indeed his house then as a member of the family it is Toasty's house too and no one can kick her out. Tej behaves as if Toasty is his favorite toy or punching bag (depending on the situation) which can be kicked out or brought back as per his mood.

Also, I do not understand this whole drama of threatening Toasty and her parents that all this is her fault and if his father or brother do not come back then she has to pay for it blah blah blah. Isn't the following the scenario true?

-Pashu and malti meet accidentally during the thief episode. (Toasty has no role in this)

- Pashu picks up malti's mangalsutra. - why did he do that ? He should have just left it if he dosent care

- Pashu wants to return the mangalsutra and end relationship and sets up a meeting.

- Accident and drama follows

What would have happened if Toasty had gone to return mangalsutra as Pashu wanted her to and she would have been arrested ? Would Tej be threatening Pashu in this way holding him responsible?

Toasty may be wrong in trying to unite Pashu and Malti. But the fact remains that in this whole accident and arrest she had no role. So Tej blaming her that the accident, arrest and so on are all happening because of her shows how blind he is.

Gyan and Prachin did not have to go through the voting system and humiliation of being kicked out and then continued to be used for all little things (tutoring,etc).

Toasty was expected to be a more than perfect daughter-in-law without a right to even know anything about the family members initially. The way she was treated was worse than a servant.