’the gr8 remix laughter king/queen’ - Page 3

hey how come this topic aint sticky?????

ook ok joke
two ppl just gt a diploma in english frm different places n well both r bragging bout dere own english lets call emm ram n sham to avoid probs
ram-my class was betta
sham -no mine was
ram-lemme test u den
sham-ok wat will u call a fat lady w8ing for her bus
ram-dats tough
sham no its esay shell b called"motiw8ing" 😆 😆 😆
sham -ok den answer dis wat will u call a bald lady sitting in an auto
ram is confused
sham--esay she will be called automeitakily(automaticlly) 😆

i asked coz i have recieved most of d jokes as frwrds earlier including d laloo and wc one ..

srry if ne1 minded my comments !!

TATTOO: Permanent proof of temporary insanity

TRAFFIC LIGHT: apparatus that automatically turns red when your car approaches.

COLLEGE: The four-year period when parents are permitted access to the telephone.

sumcool definitionzzzzzzz

k...this is my entry!


10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on
your
feet...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-
No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also
spit
in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after
years...
Stupid Question:-
Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-
Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-
Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-
No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the
money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-
Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-
No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or
not.
You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-
Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-
No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-
Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-
No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-
Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-
Gosh, it's a miracle ............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in
flames!!!

aks
10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS :
> frendz!! here are some of nice question
> answers...hope you'll enjoy
>
> BOY : May I hold your hand?
> GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
>
> GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
> BOY : You love me...
>
> GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a
> ring?? >
> BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
>
> GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.
> BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
>
>
> GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.
> BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
>
> BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
> GIRL : How soon??
>
> BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
> GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
>

> MAN : You remind me of the sea.
> WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
> MAN : NO, because you make me sick.
>
> WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear
> and comes out of the other.
> HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in
> both
> ears and comes out of the mouth.
>
> MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What
> do u think, Peter?
> PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
>
> 1) Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and
> no one else ?"
> Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list
> again
> yesterday".
>
> 2) Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun
> or the moon?"
> Pupil : "The moon".
> Teacher : "Why?"
> Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we
> need
> it but the sun gives us light only in the day time
> when we don't need it".
>
> 3) Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on
> talking when people are no longer interested?"
> Pupil : "A teacher".
>
> 4) Waiter : "Would you like your coffee black?"
> Customer : "What other colors do you have?"
>
> 5) My father is so old that when he was in school,
> history was called current affairs.
>
> 6) Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
> Sam : "It's a family tradition".
> Teacher : "What do you mean?"
> Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my
> father
> is a teacher".
> Teacher : "What about your mother?"
> Sam : "She's a woman".
>
> 7) Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father
> that I've failed?"
> David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared,
> past year's performance repeated".
>
> 8) Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating
> a
> donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be
> showing?"
> Student : "Brotherly love".
>
> 9) Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
> prayers before eating?"
> Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
> cook".
>
> 10) Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering
> doctor?"
> Doctor : "One hundred percent. Medical records show
> that nine out of ten people die of the disease you
> have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The
> others
> all died".
>
> 11) Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of
> COINCIDENCE?"
> One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
> on the same day and at the same time."
>
> 12) Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped
> down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted
> doing
> it.
> Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
> One Student: " Because George still had the axe in
> is
> hand."

hope u al like it!!
gud comp spiky!

avani urs r too gud ones even urs rr gud subhi 😆

avani urs is supercool!!!!keep it up!! 👏