Today we saw the last year of Rudra and Paro's love story. And what a year it was. Although only 15 minutes of it was shown, we can see that it was filled with so much love, happiness and affection, not only between Rudra and Paro but also between the entire Ranawat parivaar (minus Mohini, of course).
Paro - Butterfly, Fly Away
"My life, my happiness...my king and my prince. What more can I ask for? Tomorrow if I die, I will have no complaints. I have all the happiness I ever wanted."
When she said this, I bawled. No seriously, I bawled. Paro would never know how true those words would be in just a few hours.
What a beautiful mother she made for that short time. So loving, so tender, so affectionate. For that 1 month, little Dhruv was smothered with so much love and affection from a soul so pure and filled with light. He would have grown up to the best mother in the world. Now, all he is left with is a painting of his mother and his mother's beloved jeeja, his Maasi for motherly affection.
Part of me thinks this was all part of Bholenath's plan. Paro had promised Him that she would leave Rudra once he was healed. And we all thought that Paro broke that promise on June 4th at the Mumbai train station. But, perhaps she didn't. Paro certainly thought she did, in response to Rudra's tandav, but maybe Bholenath was waiting for the best time to take his most beloved devotee back to Him. And the best time is now. Rudra IS healed. Physically, emotionally, psychologically. He is a man, not an animal anymore. Paro did what she set out to do.
Rudra - The Husband, Father, Brother
"Paro Nahin toh Rudra nahin."
"Main...Tu...Hamesha."
God, what can I say? He'll be broken. Utterly broken. So long will be the man who smiles often, shows affection and gets along with his extended family. Sumer came to Rudra FIRST and said that they had to go to the hospital for Shatabdi. Why not go to Samrat, his blood brother? Rudra and Sumer have come a long way from their hostile first meeting 7 months back. And Rudra responded to Sumer's anxiety like a big brother would. Put a hand on his shoulder that indicated he was with him.
With Paro by his side, Rudra would have been a great father. Already buying toys for him, dreaming of training him to be the BSD like him...how cute was that? And his smile when he held son was just precious. How many of you "awww"-ed when he told Paro that one child was enough after she gave birth? He did not like seeing her in pain dammit, even if it was for his child. Regardless, he kisses his child first when Paro sleeps in exhaustion. Precious, just precious. Paro created this change in Rudra. She made him open up his heart and become the man he was meant to be. She is HIS heart. When Paro dies tomorrow, so will her Major Saab. Rudra will live on, albeit with half a heart, half a soul for his son. THEIR son. A half of him and a half of his Paro.
I don't know if I'll be able to watch tomorrow. If I had tears in my eyes just watching today's episode, I can't imagine how I'll be tomorrow. What's ironic is that tomorrow, July 30th is my birthday. The day my life began on this earth is the last day of our beloved Paro's. I don't care if she's fiction. She's real to me and to us and she will continue to live on in our hearts, in Rudra's and in her beloved son, Dhruv.
I do know this, I WILL continue to watch Rangrasiya. Not for the story, but for the actors (Ashish, Sanaya, and the supporting cast). You know and I know that they have put their heart and souls into this material. They created magic with the script they were given. Not the CVs. And I will trust the actors to do the same for RR 2.0.
Below is a song that I thought would depict Rudra's feelings perfectly once Paro dies. It's "How Do I Live" by Leann Rines. It's not the full lyrics, just part of them but to me they're powerful.
If I had to live without you, what kind of life would that be?
I need you in my arms, I need you to hold.
You're my world, my heart, my soul.
If you ever leave, you would take away everything good in my life.
And tell me now, how do I live without you?
How do I breathe without you?
If you ever go, how do I ever survive?
Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky,
There would be no love in my life,
There'd be no world left for me.
I'd be lost if I lost you.
Don't you know, you're my everything?
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