Hello everyone, My first ever attempt to write something on PaRud. Probably a peice of crap 🥱 but since Spent almost three hours writing it, I didn't want it to go in vein, so thought of sharing. 😳Please have a look and let me know how it was..
Paro was ignoring Rudra ever since he has got back from work. Her face looked gloomy, she was calmer than usual and not a single smile on her face. All she has been doing is doing her everyday work, as Rudra noticed, and answering everyone with just a yes or no; mostly nodding, avoiding to talk much. It was as if she was not even aware of his presence when everyone was in the hallway. She hasn't casted a single glance at him, let alone asking him for tea.
At first he thought she hadn't noticed him and so he tried the "coughing" tactic to gain her attention, but all in vein. Much to his annoyance, Laila asked him for tea to which he looked at her furiously and sharply threw a nahi chahiye!' at her. When he looked at the direction where paro was serving snacks to the family, and tried to start a conversation, much to his disappointment she was already on her way to the kitchen with Maithili.
He went to his room wondering what has happened in these six hours that she's not even looking at him. She was all okay in the morning, the usual Paro, serving him breakfast, forcing him to finish his tea, applying the tika on his forehead stubbornly, and bidding bye. What happened all of a sudden?
The next minute, there was a knock on the door. To his disappointment it was Maithli.
Rudra: bhabisa? Do you need anything?
Maithili: I have to talk to you devarji sa.
Rudra confused: Yes?
Maithili: It's about Paro, devarjisa. And it's serious. Can we go somewhere else? I don't want to talk about it here.
The second he heard Paro's name and acknowledged Mailthili's serious expression, his heart started pounding. About Paro? Serious?
Rudra: Is she okay?
There was a pause before Maithili replied...
Maithili: no she's not.
Rudra: WHAT do you mean she's not! What happened to her? and why hasn't anyone informed me all these while? What the hell is going on bhabisa? Can you-
Maithili: She's physically okay, devarjisa! Don't worry. Can we just get out of this haveli and talk about it? Please?
A sigh of relief came out of Rudra hearing her first like. However, every word of Maithili after that was getting Rudra restless at the thought that paro was not fine. Something has happened to her. something has happened to his Paro. He gave a quick nod and went out of the haveli with her.
OOO
Rudra was numb all the while to his way back home. Maithili told him what has happened today after he left for work. Laila has revealed everything about their physical relationship for the past 8 years to Paro, and Maithili overheard the initial conversation of them. Maithili told him how Laila claimed him as hers and that he still has place for Laila in his heart, feelings for her, that just the sindoor' in your part doesn't make paro his, that Laila and his relationship has more depth than theirs, that Laila has known him for the eight years whereas she has only 6 months. Maithili had tried to talk to her about it but she refused to utter a single word related to this topic. Ever since that incident, Maithili said, Paro hasn't eaten a single grain, nor did she talk other than answering few questions of kakisa.
Fear took over him. All of a sudden, he didn't want to go home, didn't want to face Paro, didn't want to accept the bitter truth. He wished the path to his home never ended. He was scared, not because Paro might enrage upon him but because of the fear that she won't be able to accept the truth. What if she can't actually accept the truth? What if she takes a big decision that strikes right in the middle of his heart? What if ... what is she leaves him?
OOO
Rudra entered the haveli and slowly walked towards his room. He opened the door of their room to see paro facing her back, folding few of her ghagras and cholis. He wanted to run back, and hide somewhere. Those tears in her eyes he witnessed when he got back from work, that gloomy face of hers, those swollen red eyes are the last thing he would want to see in her face. And let alone being the cause of this state of hers...
Rudra: Pa...ro..
Paro still facing her back towards him: you and laila baisa were engaged into a physical relationship.
Rudra was taken aback for a moment. He didn't know what to say, where to start from, how to face her. he was at loss of word for a moment before he started.
Rudra: Paro I...
Paro: Major saab, I asked you a question and I just need an answer of one word.
Paro turned around this time. Even the words she uttered and the way she looked indicated that she's hurt... terribly. And it pierced through his heart that he's the reason.
Rudra nodded as a drop of tear streamed down her cheeks but She quickly wiped it with her hands. The first fear of hers is true.
Rudra confessed about his dark past still having that little ray of hope that she'll understand. He told her how being that abandoned child had left him into the darkness, how the grief of all those incident led him to engage himself into this physical relationship with Laila, without any commitment, without any thread what would bind them together, without any expectation in return. After all the confession, there was silence which felt like eternity. Paro knew it all along. Maithili had told her what made him get engaged into such relationship after Laila revealed the truth to her, ... Just another moment of silence before Paro spoke holding her breath all the while-
Paro: Do you... still... lo...love her?
Rudra finally looked at her. is she actually asking him this question?
Rudra: What do you think? Do I still love her?
Paro: Major saab, I have asked you a question and either you answer it or let me go out of this room.
Not being able to control her tears, she started crying covering her mouth. Rudra who was shocked at her reaction came forward and pulled her to his chest.
Rudra: shh.. Please stop! I-
Paro: first tell me if you love her or not!
Rudra: NO PARO! I DON'T ! I have never loved her. there was NOTHING between us neither then, nor now!
He caressed her hair as paro hugged him back tightly.
Rudra: Only YOU matter to me.Please stop crying, I can't see you like this.
Paro: why? Why does it matter you?
That one sentence always leaves him speechless. He didn't know why, or rather didn't want to tell her the reason.
Rudra: I ... I don't know. I just know you matter to me, baas! I can't see those tears in your eyes, can't see you in pain, can't see you hurt.
Rudra expected her to say something but there was silence. They stayed standing there like that before rudra broke the silence.
Rudra: .I'm sorry!
Paro: why? Because you can't admit that you love me?
Rudra frowned not understanding if he heard her right.
Rudra pulling back: Kya?
Paro: why would a husband like you care for his wife, can't bear a tear in her eyes and hugs her just like you're hugging me now when she burst into tears?
Rudra acknowledging the close proximity between them coughed and stood away looking here and there to avoid her mischievous glance and giggling.
Paro: Major saab, you're blushing!
Rudra: Paro, we are in between a serious conversation. Where did this come from?
Paro looked at him for some time as she changed her expression to a serious one. She closed the distance between them and cupped his face shocking him more.
Paro: I don't care what has happened between you and Laila baisa before. It was before I came into your life, before we were bound into this marriage. It is not that you have cheated on me by still being engaged into such relationship with her and not telling me. It was when you didn't know how to come out of your shell, didn't know how to see the other side of the world, didn't know what love is. That unnamed relationship became your strength at that time, when you needed someone. YES , as a wife, it does hurt to know about the dark past, but we can't change it, can we? All we can do is look ahead and live knowing the truth. And for me, the truth is what matters. And the truth is there was never anything between you two, neither is now, that you never loved her but me... you do love me, right major saab?
Her serious expression changed into a mischievous one again. But this time he decided to ignore it and look inside her. how can someone be so forgivable? So understanding? so loving? So innocent? So pure? So faithful? How can she forgive him despite knowing all the bitter truth and dark past? How can someone be so delicate and yet so strong? So childlike and yet so mature?
Paro: have you decided to just stare at me like a zombie today? You didn't eat anything after coming home, I'll get some snack for you.
Paro was about to turn around and exit when Rudra held her hand. He looked into her eyes and went forward to place a soft peck on her forehead.
Rudra caressing her cheeks: Yes Mrs Rudra pratap Ranawat, I do.
Yes he does .. he does love her... the thing he has held back all these while took just a few seconds to take out, took a few seconds to confess.
yeah yeah fine! rotten tomatoes and eggs all are welcome
but if you liked it even a bit, pilij press the like button and kindly let me know with few words 😳
Thanks a lot!
-Mushfika
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
