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How does a child feel, when he sees his mother, after years, in a portrait of domestic bliss with another man?? How can a grown man, who in some corner of his heart has been hoping and waiting for his mother's return, cope, when he sees her smiling away in her personal paradise with a man, a wrong man at that?? How does one handle such cruelty, at the hands of one who is supposed to shield from all pain?? How does a child feel...betrayed, furious, mad with rage, incredulous about such a woman being his mother...
And then, how does one see their sole family, slowly and steadily, slip away? Just how can you stand and watch your sole parent losing his battle with every breath, inching towards certain death?? How helpless, how useless do you feel?? How cheated, how angry do you feel with fates...how frustrating...
What does such circumstance do to a man...it leaves you... shattered!! Totally and brutally broken into a zillion pieces, scattered all over the place. He tried to lose his sanity, his consciousness by getting roaring drunk, tries to forget all reality...but the pain still persists. The unbearable agony refuses to go away. He has lost all his senses, but he is still lost. Rudra can not hide, run or escape from this searing immolation, however hard he tries. All his insides churning, boiling in turmoil, the old wounds ripped open and bleeding profusely yet again...
Growing up, he always thought, it could not get worse. Or couldn't it?? What merciless fates try n snatch your loved one on one hand and push the one who abandoned you years back in your face with such mind numbing brutality!! What sadistic sense of humor plays such a cruel joke on an already struggling man...lo and behold here is your mother...so what if she is smiling away as the wife of a rich powerful villain, your staunch enemy...just go home...ooops sorry go to the hospital and tell her dying hubby, you know the one she killed when she walked out, or to be more precise, your dying father, that you finally found the woman you both loved to the ends of the earth and who took you both on a ride to hell...
The hero is all gone, the bravado just a facade, each studied layer of strength stripped away, leaving him all vulnerable and weak. He just crashes, like a house of cards. He just folds, and who won't in face of such spirit breaking happenings.Groping for something, clutching at anything...and thankfully, she is there!!
Like she always will be. Whether he sees her or not, whether he acknowledges her presence or not, she will be there. She sees he is in pain, and tries her best, but the extent of his wounds is yet unknown to her, the measure of his pain not revealed to her. She sees his superficial cut, the cuts he is referring to are too deep within him for her to fathom or heal yet. But one day, she will. He might push her away in the light of dawn, but he holds on to her like precious life, in the darkest of nights. She is his anchor, his beacon, his light house...when his life is a wreck!!
Ashish...you had us choking with your pain...suffocating with your agony...đđđ!!
Seher Hone Ko Hai
