Posted:
Galey mein khich khich, galey mein khich khich
Kya karoon
Vicks ki goli lo, and Take 5 likho! 😃
Out sick from daftar today, so caught the episode live for a change. Devi Maiiya ki kasam, when the stars align like this - Take 5 toh banta hai. 😛
Aaj ka Take 5 - posted from a safe corner of RM (jee nahin - not that RM. ) This RM be Ranawat Maaiyka - where baap beta have apparently returned after many many years, causing heartburn to resident masalas 😕.
When we left RM last week - baap is advising beta to marry the bitiya, coz she makes great chapatis. And who knows - she might even throw some veggies on their plate if he weds her!
1. Paro Baaisa is Jinda! Hukum Barney Sa's eyebrow shoots up so high, his eyebrow hair fuses with his hairline and refuses to part. Damn those BSD nincompoops - couldn't they just use crocodiles for ladki disposal like he does? 😡 😡 So much cleaner and quieter, and no chance of said ladki being reincarnated on a bus heading to Chandanpur!
Unfortunately for him, Thakurain of the gorgeous sarees has overheard the messenger, and is now attached to his lapels like a 5 year old throwing a tantrum.
She wants Paro baisa. NOW. Or she'll have a meltdown like a two year old at the grocery store. Thakur Barney Sa somehow manages to placate her with platitudes, but Thakuraain Sa is on the hunt. (Cue 007 music)
2. Another Week in these clothes? Hell NO!
Paro Baaisa's AD (asli duniya) avatar is rebelling, and has given the CV's an ultimatum. Either give her an outfit change TODAY - or she's walking over to a saas bahu show where the bahus get 4 outfit changes in a day despite doing nothing. And given she's been shot at, fainted, tied up, dragged, threatened, almost murdered, almost blown up, chloroformed, tricked and starved - EK OUTFIT CHANGE TOH BANTA HAI, dammit. 😡
Bitwa - you tartly informed bitiya that "meri almaari se ghaghra to nikalne se raha". However, that bright blue polka dotted kurta be no less feminine - just sayin. I sincerely hope you don't wear that in front of Aman bitwa - he'd lose all respect for your authority.
Short, so-sweet scene of bitiya smiling at a magic mirror while making faces at herself. After 3 straight weeks of tears and recriminations - its like the sun peeking from behind the clouds. 😃
3. Kharbooja reproduction 101?
Younger-apple-of-her-eye bitwa is metaphorically cleaning a BIG gun WHILE THINKING. EVIL. THOUGHTS. 😈 Interestingly, said big gun was nowhere to be seen when BSD takeover of RM was underway?
He wants to sell the rattletrap old house and skedaddle to a big city. I sympathize with him. Despite her fabulously sarcastic one-liners ⭐️, living with Masala Mami can't be a walk in the park - even for the favored son.
Masala Mami is on the rampage - ruing her lack of grandkids, and general uselessness of older son. She obviously hooked Biology 101 in high school, even kharboojas can't go forth and multiply when dadi TAR-booja is standing betwixt them with her balefully scorching gaze.
4. Friends, Romans, Countrymen - lend me your...ghaghra.
Bitwa BSD wala is over at Laila baisa's house, gorging on dinner that includes more than one chapati and achar. Unfortunately for him - he makes the mistake of asking her for a change of women's clothing.
Abey bitwa - that's like the Taliban asking the US goverment for a weaponry shipment!
She's been clinging to you like a wet limpet for 8 years - you seriously think she's gonna happily give you the ammunition to throw her over? Finding a Macy's in Chandanpur wouldn't be easy - I'll grant you that. But all those women gotta buy all those voluminous ghaghras from somewhere, right?
Time for you to do something even more traumatic than facing down 50 terrorists, my dear bitwa.
Time to Go Shopping.
5. Precap. Lots of shrill, feminine screaming while bitwa is racing to the room with a "what-the-eff-happened-now?" expression on his face. 🤓
I'm sure he's thinking that old Ranawat Bapu-sa was spot on with his childhood advice - women are more trouble than a bagful of spitting cats. 🤔 And despite being one of the breed - somewhere deep inside, I have this sneaking sympathy that I'm trying to bury.
Month 2 of Rang Rasiya begins - and we're still here. (YAY!) CV's - the list of what you could improve is BHERRY LONG, but I guess you're doing something right too. 👍🏼 Phront phront Miltey hain - as the jukaam hopefully abates.
If this was 18 months ago - someone would serve up Buaji ka kaadha. But with Masala Maasi's workforce on strike - can I hope for a cup of masala chai, at least? 😉
Sampoorna
