SS: Forging UPDATED Part IV-Page 9

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Aditi S

@aditee

Inactive

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#11

Oh my! Lovely Sys

Maza aa gaya!

Seriously "real" good!

This was one of my favorite tracks of all time on the show

I wanted to find out how unsure he is, how immaturely/maturely he handles fatherhood

I wanted to understand the perceptions sorrounding fatherhood/motherhood in an urban vs. rural mindset.............

Do we all want the same things at the end of the day?

Or are we driven by a different set of social compulsions?

Lovely topic

Even lovelier SS

Keep going..

I dont read any OS usually............ I am too caught up in dissecting the show....... I have time for nothing else😆

Saaz and you are awesome

Real and matter of fact writing...........not OTT at all

I like my fiction to be that way

Cant imagine Shaan as a rocket scientist and her as a neuro surgeon

Take a bow

Edited by aditee - 14 years ago

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-SYS-

@-SYS-

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#12

@Simple21(Name please!)

LOVED your comment! Thank you so much for all the details about how different things made you feel what.Stuff to make a writers day and keep her floating on air! Thank you!=D

@ Saaz

Thank you once again. If we ever meet you get quite a few hugs from me.Even if they freak you out.

@Rooj

Thanks woman! Better than you? I don't think so.But love you for saying it=D

@ Sonali

Thank you-again! And if I forget your name or call you something else later, please don't mind.I suck at remembering names!

@Veena

Thankyou! I'm glad for whatever process it was that made you read this! And its a SS-which means more parts are a-coming and you have to read them.Hehe.

@Shai

Thank you! I love and miss their cute fights which is why they found their way here=D

@aditee

Aditee ji, you leave me speechless! I seriously didn't expect such effusive praise from you and it makes me do a little jig of happiness!

🤗

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angel_9

@angel_9

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#13

hi Sys

loved the ss its awesome..............👏👏👏

very well written ............

n awesome part loved how u expressed the emotions of khanak, madhavi

n shaan becoming father.........😆

Angel

Edited by angel_9 - 14 years ago

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Amritha

@OlicityFan

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 14 years ago

#14

hey Yumna!..awesome work!...i dnt think any1 has attemptd an SS on this track be4...

gr8 work to u and Saaz!

Edited by Ammu_SunshYn - 14 years ago

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Krishna

@kubare

Sparkler

+ 4

Posted: 14 years ago

#15

Yumna darling......beautiful dear.....loved it ...👏

Loved how you began with what Shanak do best ....thier Nok-Jhok....MISS this in the show a lot....and you did it perfectly dear.....it was so them...could so see them doing it ...😆😆😆

Loved how the family reacts to their cute fights and their obliviosness towrds everyone reaction .....so cute nah...

Loved you describing her feelings on finding out that she's expecting..her going to dadi..and loved lovd her and Madzs bonding...aww....sigh...

And loved Shaan's reaction to it the most....lovd how you showed his fears on being old enough, mature enough responsible enough to be a father and his putting them on hold to just be happy for Khanak...God...there you showed us that yes he's there all ready..but does not know it yet.

Can't wait to see / read what you have in store for us..the name of the SS gives me a clue though....

So update soon....can't wait to read what you got to say...😃

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Daebak

@Daebak

Trailblazer

+ 7

Posted: 14 years ago

#16

Awwwww !!! Damn Cute yaar !!

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roadsidejunky

@roadsidejunkey

Voyager

Posted: 14 years ago

#17

heyyy..nyc one..do continue..😛

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rafia rashid

@rafia 24

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#18

first of all even im going to thank saaz for encouraging you as this was awesome

haha in the begininning khanaks gift to shaan is extra sleep 🤣🤣and why were the curtains not drawn? did they forget to in a rush😳😳🤣🤣🤣. OMG as soon as she threw up like in all dramas and like shaan said 'Agar yeh tumhari phillum hoti tou tum maa banne wali hoti...' i straight away knew she was pregnant, loved the silly squabble between shanak on their way to the breakfast table.

i loved how it brought mads and khanak closer and how mads broke the news, especially the concern from shaan when he heard khanak had to go to the drs, it was really touching and sweet

Shaan.He tried to speak but no words came out.Pregnant! Khanak was going to become a mother which meant he was going to be a father.A father?!Was he old enough to be a father?Were they even ready to be parents?There were so many things he needed to do in life and this was a major step. A huge change.

'Khanak tum..mera matlab hai hum..yaani ke hum dono..'

Shaan was struggling with words.He was a bundle of doubt, fear and incredulousness.But through it all something else was threatening to escape.

He looked deep into Khanak's eyes and saw them lit with joy, saw her glowing face and knew that this was the time to rejoice. This was her time. THEIR time. This was one of those moments in their lives that they would revisit time and time again. And so he locked up all his uncertainties for the moment and hugged Khanak. She clung to him as tears escaped her eyes.

@ bold very interesting, would like to see how these feelings return/arise in the future.

im proud at our burthal for overcoming these feelings and to be happy for him and khanak and how u rightly said it was their time😃😃.

loved the finishing line especially the tear😃😃😃

okay so i dont believe this is your first attempt at writing because it was damn good, eagerly awaiting the next part and how you explore this pregnancy.

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-SYS-

@-SYS-

Dazzler

Posted: 14 years ago

#19

@ Angel

Thank you for the sweet comment=)

@Ammu

Thanks man! Had no idea whether this theme had been explored before or not.Just plunged into it.

@Krishna Di

Your pink font always cheers me up and now your comments made my day!Thank you so much for reading it! Was trying to get the Shanak flavour back but wasn't sure if I was successful or not.Thanks for thinking I was=)

And if you guessed where I'm going with this then you're awesome.And possibly psychic like I initially suspected=D

@Vandu

Really?Thank you! 🤗

@ Deepa

Thanks! I hope you mean the do continue part because I intend to and you have to read it till the bitter end=p

@Naveen

Thanks dude! Where've you been?

@Rafia

Thank you for taking out the time and reading it and then giving me such an awesome feedback!

This isn't my first attempt at writing-hello English exams!-but first attempt at something like this.Fan fiction short story kind of thing.

@ People who pressed like

Thank you for liking it! I like you! And if you leave a comment next time I shall love you=p

Thank you all once again.Second part coming soon.Hope it lives up to your expectations.

Edited by -SYS- - 14 years ago

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Urooj

@rooj-i

Sparkler

+ 2

Posted: 14 years ago

#20

Yumna: you are anytime better than me...trust me...i'm not a great writer yaar...if i were in ur places...id be criticizing my own work🤣 and i'll be making a lot of negative points than positive ones🤣 ill be harsh on my writing skills too and not to mention grammar and diction and what not...

neways i want to thank saazy to making u post it!

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SS: Forging UPDATED Part IV-Page 9 - Page 2

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