Chaloo Khanak- OS UPDATED on page 2 and page 3 - Page 3

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tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: missfilmy

Awwwww thanks again Beeni, can't wait for the next part😍

Specially loved these parts😃

As she stared at the Sofa, she felt a sudden urge to break it into pieces

😆 This we all wanted to do and Khanak did it is the best👏

the cell phone signals were weak in the room

Loved the little detail you added👏

Iss sofay ko sa-hen main lay jatay hain. Iss main buhat keeray (ants, pests) hain, dhoop lagay gee toh mur jayay gay

bohut keerey?🤣


isee bahanay appnay dubara meri paatshaala toh shuru ki!". "I miss it" Khanak added sadly as an after thought.

Very nice idea👏

Shaan looked at her closely. How he wished he knew what was going on in Khanak's mind. Did she really 'just' want to be his friend? Should he also, respect Khanak's feelings and go ahead with the 'just friends' relationship? The answer came to him in a jiffy. No! He couldn't be her friend. The idea seemed ridiculous. He loved her! He wanted to spend his entire life loving her, trusting her, supporting her and being supported by her , having children with her, growing old with her' It seemed like such a distant dream, he reflected sadly.


wow!! you described Shaan's feelings so beautifully😳 specially the highlighted part😳


"Nahi Shaantanu woh humara kumra hain"

"humara" loved the word👏

Shaan's heart jump into his mouth for the second time that day

😆 I can guess how Shaan is feeling😳

lol keeray!😆😆 i should have said cockroaches. Shaan is scared of cockroaches right? lol
lol yes if he wouldnt have gone out due to the weak signals, how'd our khanak remove the sofa??! lol
i'm writing the next part have completed half of it already!
-Unknown-22 thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#22
Amazing another amaazing partt... especially when khanak decided to move the sofa her self....she should do that in the show..knowing Shaan he will still be sleeping on the sofa after they confessed ..can't wait for the big finale!
tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#23

Shaan recovered sooner than he had expected, but not before his lips slightly twitched, which Khanak understood, was unmistakably a stifled smile. Khanak smiled too and for the first time realized that she didn't feel shy. They were interrupted by the sound of a knock yet again. Karan made an appearance to ask them about dinner. Just then Shaan heard his phone ring from a distance . Making a great deal out of getting up, trying to steal glances at Khanak, he finally left the room. Khanak looked at the tube in her hand, wishing silently to throw it in the sa-hen as well, not being any use to her now. Reluctantly she took out a small amount and applied it on her perfectly-fine-and-not-at-all-sprained foot so as not to make Shaantanu suspicious. 10 minutes later Shaantanu returned and announced, " Investors abhee issee shahar main hain. Woh humay dinner par join karay hain". The announcement was followed by silence. Khanak finally managed a 'hmmm', not looking at Shaan directly. That was all she could do to restrain herself from picking up every single thing in the room and smashing it to smithereens! So much for the romantic dinner date that she had in mind with her husband! Everything was going wrong, Khanak thought, panicking slightly.

'Was it just my imagination or did I just see a flicker of annoyance in Khanak's eyes?' Shaan wondered. Recovering again Shaan said "Khanak tum chal kar dining room main toh nahi asakti toh tum yaheen rehna aur khana kha laina. Main investors kay saath kha loonga". Khanak gave him an angry stare. There was no point hiding it now. Suddenly she wanted Shaantanu to know how pissed she was. Just then the door bell rang and Karan rushed to welcome the investors, beckoning Shaan to join them as well.

Khanak stared at the walls moodily, scowling and making faces every now and then. "Aanay do inhay" she said loudly, "main bhee baat nahi karoo gee!" but minutes passed, hours passed and Shaantanu still didn't enter the room. In a fit of desperation Khanak jumped up from the bed and decided to make her way to the dining room but then remembered her ankle was supposed to be sprained. She settled herself on the bed and felt her eye lids drooping. Before she knew it she was fast asleep.

Shaan entered the room at 11 pm but got a rude shock when he saw Khanak sleeping. Khanak had managed to lie on one side of the bed straight on her back. Shaan sat on his side of the bed and stared at her lovingly. His heart suddenly ached, realizing how much pain she was in. He recalled the time when he had sprained his ankle. He couldn't walk straight for days and his foot had swollen up. His foot had swollen up, he thought again. Almost involuntarily, he looked at Khanak's foot. He looked at it closely. "That's weird" he thought, "her foot is not swollen". He hesitated, then went ahead and touched it, then pressed his fingers against it slightly, then a bit with force. Yet Khanak continued to sleep. Confused, he remembered that when he was hurt he used to yelp in pain with just a single touch!

Shaan's mind started somersaulting, as he tried to connect all the pieces of what had happened ever since the signing of papers at the factory. But that was about all he could do. True, he felt something was wrong somewhere, but the sea of emotions that was already a part of him did not allow him to think straight. He lay on his side of the bed and switched off the lamp, throwing the room into darkness, the only light emanating from the moonlight through the window. He rolled over and tried to sleep, but couldn't. Just then he felt Khanak stir beside him. He pretended to sleep. But what he saw seconds later, in the moonlight, was enough to confirm his worst suspicions. Khanak got up from the bed and promptly, without so much as a flicker of pain, strode towards the bathroom, her hair disheveled. Shaan saw in shock, as she walked firmly and closed the bathroom door behind her. Immediately Shaan got up and switched on the lights of the room, thereafter waiting for Khanak to come out. Khanak reopened the bathroom door and what she saw made her gulp. Shaantanu was standing right there staring at her sternly and all the lights were switched on. Khanak bit her lip and stared wildly around the room but it was in vain. Shaantanu was towering over her and she knew that this was it. She had no way out!

"So?" whispered Shaantanu, " tumnay mujh say jhoot bola?".

"Nahi Shaantanu, main toh bus…" Khanak hastily started but Shaan cut her off.

"Kyun?" he breathed, as he came closer. Khanak stared into his questioning eyes. He got hold of her shoulders slightly and Khanak heard herself gasp "Woh main…" she realized words were not coming out. She felt intimidated, but more than that, she felt flustered. Shaantanu's hold on her was not making her think straight. He came even more closer, his eyes boring into hers and at that instant Khanak decided, inspite of the havoc being wrecked on her brain, that it was time to tell Shaantanu the truth. She always had. So why should today be any different?

"Kyunkay main appkay saath aur waqt guzarna chahti theee" Khanak whispered back.

"Kyun?" Shaantanu repeated, his hold still firm on her, his nose half an inch away from her nose. Khanak blushed. She had to tell him. This was the last straw and this WAS what she had wanted. It was the perfect moment. She'd tell him and everything would be fine. She smiled inwardly. She wasn't afraid of telling him, she thought.

"Khanak, kyun?" Shaan asked, yet again, this time more forcefully.

" Kyunkay main aapsay pyar karti hoon", she looked up into Shaantanu's eyes as she said it, all in one go, and was surprised that she didn't feel herself blushing. It felt like a mere statement. The truth. That was all.

Shaantanu continued to stare at her as her words registered into his brain. How much had he waited for her to say that to him! He had lost count of the number of times he had imagined the scene. He finally found his voice and croaked, " Toh tum nay mujhay pehlay kyun nahi bataya?"

"Kyunkay main appko tung kar rahee thee", Khanak invented a wild lie and smiled broadly. Shaantanu did not return her smile.

"Oh!" whispered Shaan, now moving Khanak backwards towards the bed, holding her shoulders. "So you were playing hard-to-get? Haan?" Not fully understanding Shaan, she smiled again. Shaantanu continued to push Khanak slowly towards the bed, not returning her smile, towering over her. As Khanak's legs touched the edge of the bed, Shaan gently pushed Khanak so that she fell on the bed, straight on her back. Shaan lay down beside her as well, turned and came over her and whispered "You love me Khanak" It was not a question. It was a statement. Khanak didn't nod her head in approval. She understood her Shaantanu that way. But her mind had already stopped working. All she wanted at that moment was to make Shaantanu love her back. She smiled at the thought. Shaantanu moved ever so close, his nose was touching hers now. Khanak closed her eyes and heard Shaantanu whisper,

"You played hard-to-get with me. Now see how I shall do the same with you" and with a swift movement, Shaantanu got up from the bed and left the room, leaving Khanak shell shocked.

"What just happened?" thought Khanak, finally recovering and getting up. "Should I go after him? Er…no I think I'll just stay put. What is it with him?!Burthal!". Five minutes later Shaan entered the room and smiled at Khanak, confusing her to no end. Only the lamps were on. Both made themselves comfortable on the bed at their own respective sides. The moment had passed, thought Khanak shamelessly, pouting. She switched off her side of the lamp and lay straight. Shaantanu, on the other hand, sat on the bed and what he did next made Khanak gulp. Taking off his shirt, he announced to the room in general, "Buhat garmi hain" and laid on the bed, shirtless. As much as Khanak tried to avoid looking at his well toned body, she failed miserably. Shaantanu noticed and smirked openly. Thoroughly annoyed, Khanak turned away from him and tried to sleep. But it was next to impossible. Why did Shaantanu have to be so desirable, she thought again. She kept shifting her sleeping positions, wondering when sleep would come. Shaantanu, beside her, was thoroughly enjoying himself. At one point he even laughed loud. That was the last straw for Khanak, who sat up, switched on her lamp, got hold of Shaantanu's bare shoulder, turned him around and demanded " Shaantanu! Aap yay kyun karay hain?!"

"Aray mainay kya kiya hain. Main toh so raha hoon! Tum hee bed itna hila rahee ho"

"Acha? Yay bhee meri galti hain?" Khanak said threateningly.

" Haan toh aur kya! Khud ko apni feelings ka pata nahi aur mujhay bhee confuse kar rahee ho!" Shaantanu countered.

" Main appko confuse kar rahee hoon? Abhee toh bola I love you! Lekin aap! Aap toh burthal hee rahay gay!"

" Acha aur jub mainay tumko letter main 'I love you' bola tha tub toh tum bari jaldi samajh gaee thee!" Shaan retorted sarcastically

"who toh main…" Khanak started.

"tum mujhay tung kar rahee thee! Haina? Kar liya! Ab khush! Tumko pata bhee hain mujh par kya guzree hain!" Shaantanu suddenly became louder.

That shut Khanak up. Her eyes welled up with tears as she mumbled something that Shaan did not understand. Shaan felt horrible, seeing her huge eyes full of tears. But his anger overtook his sympathy. It had not subsided. "Yay aslee ansoo hain ya yay bhee jhootay aansuu hain jaisay tumharay tumhari ANKLE murnay par niklay thay!"

Khanak had had enough. She got up from the bed dramatically and was going towards the door when Shaantanu caught her wrist. She was crying "Aap mujhay buhat tung kartay hain" she sniffed, not looking at him " mainay abhee toh kaha… k main appsay pyar karti hoon aur appp" Shaantanu came closer…."samajhtay hee nahi" he wiped her tears…"main aapko kabhee nai samjha sakti…" he kissed her forehead…"k main apsay kitna…" he kissed her nose…"pyar" he kissed her lips…softly. He withdrew and looked at her lovingly. She sobbed and looked down. Without wasting any more time, he went on his knees , "Will you…will you marry me…. Again…, Khanak?" He measured every word as he uttered it. He didn't want it to go wrong this time. He looked up. Khanak smiled in between her sobs, "Yes", she said immediately. Shaantanu got up and hugged her like he'd never hugged her before. At that time they both felt that completing their marriage could wait…could wait until after their second marriage. It was an unspoken, mutual feeling.

The End!! LOL (finally)! Hope you guys like it! :)
MFRanjini thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#24
Res😆

*EDITED*

Sorry, I took loads of time😳

I read it "ruk ruk ke", imagining every scene, cherishing every scene😳

Sach mein Beeni, you potrayed Shaan and Khank sooooo well.


'Was it just my imagination or did I just see a flicker of annoyance in Khanak's eyes?'

"Aanay do inhay" she said loudly, "main bhee baat nahi karoo gee!"

Shaan cornering Khanak...I really want this

" Kyunkay main aapsay pyar karti hoon", she looked up into Shaantanu's eyes as she said it, all in one go, and was surprised that she didn't feel herself blushing. It felt like a mere statement. The truth. That was all.


"Oh!" whispered Shaan, now moving Khanak backwards towards the bed, holding her shoulders. "So you were playing hard-to-get? Haan?"


Shaan gently pushed Khanak so that she fell on the bed, straight on her back. Shaan lay down beside her as well, turned and came over her and whispered "You love me Khanak" It was not a question. It was a statement. Khanak didn't nod her head in approval.

OMG OMG, so sweet😳

Shaantanu, on the other hand, sat on the bed and what he did next made Khanak gulp. Taking off his shirt, he announced to the room in general, "Buhat garmi hain" and laid on the bed, shirtless

😆 He should do that😆

" Shaantanu! Aap yay kyun karay hain?!"
😆

"tum mujhay tung kar rahee thee! Haina? Kar liya! Ab khush! Tumko pata bhee hain mujh par kya guzree hain!" Shaantanu suddenly became louder.
I want this😃

OMG OMG the kissing, the proposal and hugging.................shooooooooooooooo sweet, typical our fav Shanak😳

The ending is tooooo good:


At that time they both felt that completing their marriage could wait…could wait until after their second marriage. It was an unspoken, mutual feeling.😳

Very good job Beeni👏 You made me hungry😆 want some more😆

I don't know what Karishma will do after reading it😆 She will surely ask Swapnaji to take you within the RBO CV group😆



Edited by missfilmy - 14 years ago
destinylove thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#25
OMG 👏beeni superb,funtastic,,excellent,rocking,awesome,fantabulous.nice ,too good I was really spell bound reading them👏
Thank u a lot all those inspirers because of u beeni wrote such an outstanding OS
tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#26
@ shriya: thanks A LOT shriya 😃😃😃😃😃 haina? even i agree that loads of people inspired me :) i used to wonder how people write OSs! you need so much time, you need a good concept, you need an original story, language, humour there's soo much you need to put in it! but seriously, when i started writing it all just came automatically. Shanak effect i tell you🤣
MFRanjini thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#27
Edited my earlier post😳
FebruaryFlower thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#28
Hey Beeni!!
I just read it all in one go, and it is really amazing!!!
Truly sweet and romantic.....great work hun!!
😊
tofeeees thumbnail
20th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 14 years ago
#29

Originally posted by: missfilmy

Res😆

*EDITED*

Sorry, I took loads of time😳

I read it "ruk ruk ke", imagining every scene, cherishing every scene😳

Sach mein Beeni, you potrayed Shaan and Khank sooooo well.


'Was it just my imagination or did I just see a flicker of annoyance in Khanak's eyes?'

"Aanay do inhay" she said loudly, "main bhee baat nahi karoo gee!"

Shaan cornering Khanak...I really want this

" Kyunkay main aapsay pyar karti hoon", she looked up into Shaantanu's eyes as she said it, all in one go, and was surprised that she didn't feel herself blushing. It felt like a mere statement. The truth. That was all.


"Oh!" whispered Shaan, now moving Khanak backwards towards the bed, holding her shoulders. "So you were playing hard-to-get? Haan?"


Shaan gently pushed Khanak so that she fell on the bed, straight on her back. Shaan lay down beside her as well, turned and came over her and whispered "You love me Khanak" It was not a question. It was a statement. Khanak didn't nod her head in approval.

OMG OMG, so sweet😳

Shaantanu, on the other hand, sat on the bed and what he did next made Khanak gulp. Taking off his shirt, he announced to the room in general, "Buhat garmi hain" and laid on the bed, shirtless

😆 He should do that😆

" Shaantanu! Aap yay kyun karay hain?!"
😆

"tum mujhay tung kar rahee thee! Haina? Kar liya! Ab khush! Tumko pata bhee hain mujh par kya guzree hain!" Shaantanu suddenly became louder.
I want this😃

OMG OMG the kissing, the proposal and hugging.................shooooooooooooooo sweet, typical our fav Shanak😳

The ending is tooooo good:


At that time they both felt that completing their marriage could wait'could wait until after their second marriage. It was an unspoken, mutual feeling.😳

Very good job Beeni👏 You made me hungry😆 want some more😆

I don't know what Karishma will do after reading it😆 She will surely ask Swapnaji to take you within the RBO CV group😆



WHERE is karishma!!?she's always online at this time! but she didn' come online at all today :( haha anything to do with shanak and that girl goes crazy! lets see how she reacts 😆
aww thank you soo much ranjini for letting me know the actual lines that you loved! it meant a lot when you said you were reading everything ruk ruk kay...like when i'm reading a novel by my favourtite writer even i do that, read slowly and savour each wordEmbarrassed
lol about taking off his shirt...yes...don't i always look for an excuse to have that...Sehju where are you? i made KT shirtless just for you!
The proposal i wanted to be flawless...the last one really broke my heart😭 lol and plus i didn;t want shanak to get all lovey dovey in a weird farmhouse. I wanted them to, you know, go to that stage in a proper way, after taking their vows again and having a meaningful reunion Embarrassed
tofeeees thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#30
@ februaryflower : Thanks! 🤗 (whats your name?) i never knew i could write romance lol. simply because i don't read romance! lol

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