THAT MOMENT
Well confessions are expected of a sane and conscious mind, but not of the subconscious... poor subconscious is only expected to guide but not take control when apparently the conscious one is supposed to be... how cruel... but , but , but every once in a way... there is an exception and our Shaantanu was just that...
In the episode yesterday… there were many moments, where Shaantanu and Khanak gave away but one of those moments stood out…
Khanak was keen on telling him how to console Natasha and while she did , she was giving away a lot of what she herself expected as a woman… Shaantanu was no idiot he noticed it… first amused he watched with a smirk, then he figured, she was speaking her heart out… and his heart went out to her… she was on the verge of enjoying all this when her world was turned around… he noticed the smile on her face when she spoke about it… she longed for a togetherness like every other woman and that smile on her face of that contentment, just imagining it, endeared him so much to her… he wanted it to be real… let her experience it for real and for his ownself , to allow him to see her happy… just experience it…he has given her everything to just see her smile… stood by her… and why not this little pleasure… she finishes saying… ' ladkiyon ko bahut accha lagta hai.." he notices she forgot to say Natasha there… she had got carried away, Natasha slipped out… she was talking about herself.. He noticed it too… He is prompt… he walks up to her… and does what he has to…yun pass aanaa, haath pakadna… phir dheere se bolna.. and she is visibly uncomfortable but is rooted to spot… she herself is confused… she was asking for it…(longing to feel that way… with Shaantanu or not… may not, she just was in love with the idea of it…) and suddenly here she was, been given that feeling by this man… he was her husband, but her logical mind gave her all reasons to not let it happen…. For the first time, she fumbles for Natasha's name… it doesn't come… she is too overwhelmed and with terrible effort she blurts it… like it was boon that she remembered Natasha's name and what comes next is something she didn't even see coming… she is pulled towards him… this man was giving her everything she possibly imagined (with Suraj perhaps)… and she wants to experience it… the feeling of being needed, wanted , desired all in the same breath (am still searching for the right word) is perhaps the most overwhelming… and SHaatanu gave her just that… she loved the feeling, gave into it… she felt, she 'belonged' and that relieved her… and yet she wasn't prepared for her feelings to be questioned… he asked her… 'kaho khanak kaisa lag raha hai'
Shaantanu, asked her that coz despite what he was doing, and having done it ,coz he was driven to doing it, he didn't really know, how Khanak was feeling… he wanted to know if it was having the right effect.. coz this was no other girl, this was Khanak… and she was different , simply because, she felt different and yet the same like other girls… he had seen her longing, wanted to give it to her and yet sought a confirmation, that what he was doing, was what she had imagined… was it what she had imagined and become so happy? He just needed to see her happy… and then he realizes her silence, he reads into it… and then… a realization hits him… his expression softens … he knows…he how she is feeling… he wants to assure her that this is fine… that he understands, he is worried, he cares… he wants her to understand that he understands how she has longed for togetherness and was deprived of it .. by fate … he knows… she is like any woman, who wants to be loved and cared for and made to be felt needed, wanted and desired… and yet he doesn't want her to feel guilty of having expressed it…and meanwhile, she is too scared, and yet enjoying the feeling, the confusion freezes her to the spot… she cant find herself drawing away from him… she makes feeble attempts, and effortlessly he is able to stop her… not more out of his strength but her own … inability to move… and then… she gives in, totally when he says… dheere se bolna… she doesn't understand the language…. But ehsaas zaroori hai… he had told her that… she just knew he understood her… she had come home… home to realization and knowing… that she belonged… he had assured her in that very moment… and then her body relaxes in his arms… he senses it… he has realized, this woman he holds… is his… and his only… she needs him just as much as he needs her… and then… that very realization calms him… the confusion clears… and he is back to being Shaantanu… and it is his Khanak there and he takes the mickey out of her… 'take that' and just that… Khanak , is hit in the face… right in the face hard with the reality that she had experienced what she desired and yet she doesn't know why it stopped…
Shaantanu meanwhile steps back… smiles to himself , amazed at what he had done, proud of himself of having given her the pleasure of experiencing that togetherness of being with a loved one… and of having giving it back to her…for that little fast one she pulled on him, a little while earlier…and then everything is normal , for they are a normal couple , like any other, with an amazing connect… J
The man, had confessed his love for this woman… way before his conscious mind can even comprehend it… the most beautiful confession ever… of a simple gesture to give the woman he cared for deeply the pleasure of experiencing the togetherness in a moment of absolute connect - of desires, of emotions, of just them…
Seen a better confession than that? – No, not me!
Edited by sareeta - 15 years ago