Hey guys! This is my next OS on ShaNak. Hope you guys like it. It's all angst in the beginning but ends in a..... romantic way?? Don't quite know how to explain it. 😆 After watching yesterday's episode this idea struck me so i had to pen it down. I tried my best to keep ShaNak's essence and not make it sleazy. But it seems more awkward then sensual so you've been warned! 😛 Don't worry, it's PG=13...... ish. 😆 Simply hints at some things. 😳 Without further ado, here it is! ~Khuda Jaane~
"Why? Why did I say her name?" Shaan thought running a hand through his hair. "Meri zuba par… Khanak ka nam…. Par kyu?" he questioned himself out loud, his voice echoing in the empty room. "What must she be thinking about me? What do I say when I see her?" He slapped his hand in frustration on the wet bar. The unpleasant noise of contact clanked in the air suiting the dense atmosphere he could feel pulling at his insides.
Looking down at his now throbbing hand he grimaced and swore softly. The counter productive action only caused him physical pain over everything else he was trying to deal with. He closed his eyes wondering if by some miracle the answers would come to him. Flashes of events passed in front of his eyes and he found himself looking for something in them.
"How dare you?" he growled at Khanak as she stared motionlessly at nothing still in her wedding garb. Next flash. "You said you would take care of everything." His voice rumbled out accusingly at Natasha. Next flash. "Tum jaanti bhi ho iska matlab kya hai?" He shouted when they were by the pool the night after his drunken stupor. His fingers tightened around Khanak's soft arms as he pulled her closer in anger gazing down at her unshed tears. Next flash. "Mujhe kabhi chode ke mat jaana." Said Shaan putting Khanak's kangan on her hand as she smiled sweetly at him. Next flash. "Mujhe Shantanu pasand hai." Said Khanak. "Sir nam, ya mein bhi?" asked Shaan smiling mischievously at Khanak.
Next flash. "Aye Baiko!" He said pulling at Khanak's arm a little harder then he'd meant to, making her fall on the sofa with their faces inches away. Khanak stared at him with her innocent eyes numerous emotions swirling in them. Next Flash. "Tum meri best friend ho." He said smiling at Natasha and finally noticing her face crumpling as he recalled the memory. Next Flash. "Mera sar dabado please. Mujhe uske bina achi neend nahi aati." He said to Khanak placing his second hand on top of their joined hands as he pulled them close to him.
Next flash. "Natasha tum yaha kya kar rahi ho? Tumne mujhe bataya nahi kit tum aa rahi ho." Said Shaan looking confused at Natasha's sudden presence in his and Khanak's room. Pain flashed through Natasha's eyes at his question before she swiftly turned her head away. Next Flash. "Khanak phool nahi, fool!" exclaimed Shaan his face only centimeters away from Khanak's. "Phool!" said Khanak coming even closer as Shaan stared entranced at her pouty lips. His hand had been itching to caress her cheek as he held it motionless in the air. Next Flash. "Of course I love you! Of course I care about you. Mein tumse bahut pyaar karta hoon Khanak!" finished Shantanu before he realized what he had said. Upon realizing he felt a thrill of excitement shoot through him. He mentally berated himself and stomped the urge to say it again even though it sounded so right.
Opening is eyes Shaan exhaled noisily trying to calm his pounding heart. He knew what he was looking for. His eyes had searched for Khanak in every image. The memories had started from when Khanak had entered the house and he had blamed her for everything. Then they changed to things getting better with Khanak, but worse with Natasha. Playing the last scene over and over in his head he tried to figure the meaning behind the slip. The words echoed in his mind again and again and so did something else. Khanak's beautiful laughter rang through his head as he his mind kept repeating what he had said. "I love you Khanak. I love you Khanak. I love you Khanak." Shaan covered his ears and shook his head in vain only to have Khanak's laughing face flash before his eyes again and again.
"Bas!" exclaimed Shaan and like a dream he came out of his trance. Everything faded away leaving him gasping for breath. Shaan slowly started to trudge up to his room his legs dragging. He needed a cold shower and suppressed his need for a strong drink knowing what that would result in. Entering their room he peered in cautiously to find it empty and breathed a sigh of relief. Taking his shoes off and dumping on the floor carelessly he entered the bathroom taking a pair of sweats and his towel.
~*~
Shaan stood beneath the shower staring at the tiled wall wondering what was going on. Ten minutes later he stepped out and silently dried himself unaware that Khanak had entered the room. Pulling his sweats on he opened the door of the bathroom and stepped out. The towel was covering his face as he dried his hair and walked over the dresser not noticing Khanak. Khanak who had her back turned, stood by the window staring out at the sky lost in her thoughts. She turned away from the window and bit back a gasp from escaping. Shantanu stood in front of the dresser drying his hair with his back turned to her.
He wasn't wearing his shirt and Khanak couldn't tear her eyes away from him. Her mind was screaming at her to look away but her eyes betrayed her. She found herself staring at his bareback and she couldn't help but admire him. She wasn't blind and had realized long time back how handsome her husband was. But now as she looked at him she felt it affect her more so then it ever had. When Shantanu had helped her out of the pool after they both fell in, she remembered seeing the faint traces of his well-toned muscles and felt something unfamiliar.
Now though as she found herself admiring him, she knew exactly what she was feeling and swallowed. Though she was from a small village, she felt just the way any woman her age would in such a situation. She had always been taught that casually indulging in the pleasures of flesh was wrong and that it was a sacred deed you shared only with your husband for children. Now as she tried to get rid of such thoughts she reminded herself that Shantanu was indeed her husband. The fact that they were separating in four months or so was the issue. She shouldn't be having such thoughts never having felt this way before.
She felt the breeze gently blow in as she looked at his reflection in the mirror and shuddered; but not because she was cold. She looked at the faint trace of his abs and slowly found herself looking up from his waist to his chest and finally his face. This time she let out a gasp as she found him staring at her as she admired his physique and felt a thrill of excitement shoot up her spine when their eyes met. She broke the eye contact and stammered an apology. "Mujhe nahi pata tha ki app ander snaan kar rahe the." She stuttered before turning back to look outside trying to hide her flaming cheeks.
~*~
When Shantanu had looked up the first thing he noticed was Khanak behind him. The next thing he noticed was her wide-eyed expression as she looked at him not noticing that he knew she was staring. He felt something stir inside him when she sub-consciously bit her lower lip as she stared at him with her innocent eyes. Her gaze was curious and innocent and yet he couldn't stop the flow of emotions he was feeling having Khanak stare at him so blatantly. He felt her eyes travel up his body and he almost shivered.
He felt his skin burn as her eyes travelled up and tried to suppress the beast stirring in his chest. Their eyes met and Khanak let out a gasp, stammered and looked away. But not before Shaan noticed her flaming cheeks. She turned quickly, the motion whipping her hair forward and Shaan turned and noticed something.
The zipper of her salwar was undone one forth the way and it looked like the top hook had broken. He furrowed his brows wondering how that happened because Khanak was never careless enough to let something like that happen. She must not have realized that it had come undone. He found himself walking forward till he was standing right behind.
Khanak tensed feeling Shantanu's body heat when he stood so close behind and closed her eyes. "Khanak, tumhare suit ka zipper puri tareke se band nahi hai." Said Shaan his voice sounding too husky to his own ears. He felt his vision glaze and wondered what was happening to him. Maybe it was the proximity or seeing Khanak smooth skin but Shaan's hands rose own their own accord not obeying his demands.
Khanak eyes flew open when she felt his fingers grace her back as he pulled the zipper up torturously slowly. Shantanu bit back a groan at the contact knowing he needed to get away. "Shan-Shantanu!" she said his name in a ragged whisper. Shaan pulled the zipper up and swallowed as Khanak brought him back to reality. Immediately he took a few steps back knowing if she said his name in that voice again he would loose control and couldn't be held responsible for his actions.
Khanak turned and saw Shantanu walk over to the closet and hap hazardously throw on the first t-shirt that his fingers found and slip his slippers on quickly. "Aap, itni raat ko kaha ja rahe hai?" she asked her voice coming out in a whisper. Shaan didn't know where he was going. He only knew he had to get away from Khanak, her big beautiful eyes and sweet voice before he did something stupid. "Fresh air ke liye. Tum so jao Khanak. Mein kuch der mein wapas aa jayunga." As soon as the words left his mouth he practically bolted out their room.
Shantanu never returned to their room that night and neither of them got a wink of sleep. Their mind continued repeating that scene over and over again leaving Khanak confused, Shaan frustrated and both devoid of sleep.
So let me know what you think? Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. 😳 Edited by blackdaughter - 15 years ago
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
