Posted:
*crickets*
I feel like I am stepping onto a stage with no idea what I am supposed to be saying.
LETS DO THIS!
So...I vanished..yeah. I was gone, (am still gone?), without any word.
Also, how pretentious of me to just assume anyone reading this knows or remembers me?!
Lets start over!
Hi to the person who was curious enough to open this post (also, yeah, I sent out PMs)
I am Simi. I used to be part of the Qubool Hai community during its first (and the semi-logical) seasonand I like to think that I was a good contributor to this fandom, in terms of writing fanfic - in case you didn't know that, check out my index! (its linked in my signature - shameless plug there).
I made good friends here, met a couple of them in person - they were awesome! And i genuinely liked logging on here and just reading and talking to other people who cared about these fictional characters like I did. Qubool Hai was great, and Asad and Zoya were amazing
Then, not so surprisingly, the show took a turn for the worse, and in my honest opinion, it never recovered. Atleast for me. So i stopped watching it. Completely.
I was still active on the forum, sporadically, but I was still here. Then I wasn't.
I didn't talk to anyone. Never logged in (which btw, HOLY F*** - can we curse on this forum yet? - I HAVE SO MANY MESSAGES ASKING IF I AM ALIVE!!!)
Long story short - life sucked. It started getting stressful, but on a still managable level. It was just adult life being shitty. But then it got SHITTY AF.
It sucked bad. Like a hooker-on-a-Tuesday-afternoon bad
Life got messy, with a shit ton of physical, and even more mental and emotional pain. I lost the most important person in my life. Lost myself a little too. Everything I thought I had planned for my future just disappeared in a heartbeat.
I lost some really good parts of my life and every aspect of my life took a major hit. Some parts I recovered. Some I lost for good.
Inevitably, it affected the thing I loved doing - write. I hit a major writers block which gradually turned into me having a panic attack when I tried to write.
Which sent me into another bout of panic because all my life, writing had been therapeutic, and it wasn't anymore.
It got better. Life generally does.
I moved. Got a new place, new job, no more school. Tried. Hustled. Really hard.
Writing got better too, to some extent. I still write. Sometimes. Its not the same anymore. I don't get the rush anymore. I am very sad about that. Writing was something that came naturally to me and i very much enjoyed it.
So...I am still me. And I am much better now. I am not sure why I am even writing this. I guess I just wanted to return to some normalcy.
Life gets better. Make sure you are alive to watch it happen.
ps. lord knows i am lost with all the new user names...TELL ME WHO I KNEW YOU AS!!!
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Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
Love Friendship Dating and Relationships
Cricket
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CID
