Ab Toote Sapnon Ke Shishe Chubhte Hain Inn Aankhon Mein
Chapter 43
He paced in his room.
Asad couldn't get her downcast eyes and nearly quivering lips out of his mind. How many times would he keep hurting her? But wasn't it better to hurt her a little now, than a lot more, later?
He flashbacked to the first time he had seen at the dargah and sat down heavily on the bed.
His chest felt tight. He couldn't breathe.
The tortured words and tears of both his father, and her Aapi, kept playing in his mind on an endless loop.
"... I set the fire ..."
" her mother died in a fire ... screaming ..."
The words and scenes overlapped creating a fiery crescendo of torment. Together they painted a grim picture ...
Sometime between the drive home after his breakdown, and turning into the driveway, Asad's mind had made a terrifying but uncanny and startling connection.
Were the two incidents from both his and her past ...? Even thinking about it turned his blood to ice.
Were their lives inexorably linked by blood, lies and fire?
He paced again, unable to sit still.
Could his father be responsible for that scar on her arm? Finally, he had put words to his worst fear.
How could one do that to a baby? His mind flashed to an image of a baby Najma. What if someone had done something like that to their Tamatar?
His mind kept reliving the screams he heard when Zoya had her nightmares. She must have felt so much pain. He squeezed his eyes shut in agony.
Before entering the house, he had quietly asked Anwar. "When did this happen?"
"1994."
"Do you remember which month or the date?"
"Why?"
"I want to look into it to see if we can find out more about what happened."
"I think it was October. But I'll check with Zeenat."
Once home, he had called the investigator and given him whatever details he could about the location and time, and told him to rush the results. Money was no bar, this was to be done at a war footing. "Drop everything else. I'll pay for your time. I need results, fast."
Next he called the Police Commissioner to urge him to expedite the forensic investigation of the remains found in the factory. If the lab was still backlogged, he would pay to get it done privately. He would even fly in the best forensic anthropologist if the need arose.
The reports had started trickling in within the next few hours.
And it all added up; his instincts had been right.
How could they get married now? What if Zoya found out later that his father may have allegedly murdered her mother and scarred her for life? She would hate him and they would be trapped in a marriage of endless pain and mistrust.
In his heart, Asad knew that his father was no killer. But what if he was framed and made to accidentally kill someone by his bosses?
So far the only ray of hope was that the remains hadn't been identified as male or female.
May be there was no link.
But what if there was?
Somehow, in his gut, Asad was sure that there was.
He looked out of the arched window into the heart of darkness.
He shouldn't have trusted that happiness; it wasn't his due. He was to be forever robbed of it"his lot was to not just stand at the edge of light and peer in.
No, his destiny was to turn his back on the light and live in his own shadow.
But what of Zoya?
Asad needed to get away from the oppressiveness of his room.
It was dark in the house. Everyone was exhausted and had turned in soon after the guests left.
He walked outside to sit on the bench.
And saw her there.
Of course. No wonder his lovesick feet had led him here.
She still hadn't changed out of her dress. Her shoulders were hunched, and he could tell she was crying softly.
He wanted to hug her to him, crushing her in his arms. Asad swore under his breath and turned to walk away.
"Mr. Khan?"
His heart splintered at those words.
Arms rigidly folded across his chest, he pressed his fist to his mouth.
A cloud of fragrant henna wafted up behind him.
She tugged his hand, turned it over, and put something in it. The warm curved metal burned him. His fist closed around it, the stone biting into his flesh.
"Zoya," he choked.
Her simple acceptance of his silent decision destroyed him.
"Umm ... Mr. Khan?" She pressed her fingers to her trembling lips.
She still wanted to say something to him? He saw her grip her hands painfully.
She didn't know if she should tell him, or even if she would have the courage to say the words without crumbling.
She didn't want his pity, but nor did she want him to feel guilt or shame.
Zoya twisted her bare fingers, already missing the snug warmth of the ring ... and his love.
"I ... I started ... umm ..." she gulped, took a huge shuddering breath and blurted in a rush, "Don't worry please, I'm not pregnant."
She ran to get to the door leading to the house.
Unable to bear it anymore, in a few swift steps he was by her side.
Asad shook her by her shoulders. "Why don't you hate me for hurting you every time? Why are you still thinking about me when I've given you more tears than smiles?"
She slid to the ground on her knees, trying to swallow her sobs by pressing her fists to her mouth.
He couldn't. No, he wouldn't do it. They would go through it together if she let him. He gathered her in his arms and rocked her to him.
"I'm so sorry that I keep hurting you."
She clung to him but rained soft, ineffectual punches on his chest. Asad tried to laugh at that, and her punches grew stronger.
"Zoya," he grabbed her fist in his. The ring bit into her knuckles.
Still sobbing, she hid her face in the crook of her arm.
"Did I do something?" She asked through sobs.
"I'm sorry."
Zoya cried harder. "You don't want to marry me?"
He hugged her hard, hating himself more.
"I want to marry you. Only you. I love you so much. But there's something that we have to talk about first."
She stilled.
While a part of her was glad to hear that things were okay between them and that he was finally about to tell her what it was that was bothering him, another part of her dreaded the words to come. It could be only something momentous for him to be so affected by it.
"What?" She whispered fearfully.
"Your truth, my truth. Our truth!"
She wiped her tears, got up, and moved away waiting for him to continue. What was he going to say? What truth? Fear coursed down her spine. Zoya let him lead her back to the bench. Asad didn't sit by her side as she had hoped he would.
He paced before her.
"Abbu came to the office today."
She knew about this part. He had already told her last night that Abbu wanted to speak with him.
"He told me about the factory and what happened all those years ago. Do you remember they found skeletal remains there?"
She nodded.
"And then when I went to pick up Aapi and Jeeju, I asked them how you got your scar."
Zoya flinched but remained silent.
She had herself asked them this but they said they didn't know. She was sure that's what they told Asad.
"She told me that you were in a fire that killed your mother," He choked out, wanting to hold her but not daring to look at her.
Zoya was confused.
"But I thought they didn't know about Ammi or how I got my scar."
She couldn't accept that they had lied to her all these years. But this information was distracting her from the bigger shock that she had just received.
Ammi had died in a fire? The dreams? And she got the scar in the same fire?
Asad stole a look at her. It hadn't hit her as yet. She was still processing the information in a delayed reaction. And he hadn't even told her the worst of it as yet.
"Zoya, you know that Abbu set fire to that factory, right? They made him do it." He swiped his hand across his mouth in agitation, "but, what we didn't know then, was that they were threatening to kill Najma. That's why he did it."
Zoya scrunched up her face in confusion. Why was he talking about Abbu and Najma in the middle of this?
Still distracted, she said, "I told you, it had to be something big like that. It must have been horrible for him."
Only she could have this much faith. Even he hadn't believed his father earlier.
He held her shoulders and then knelt before her, holding her hands.
"I had it checked out. The fire in the factory was around the same time your mother died in a fire."
She looked at him blankly.
"Zoya ... Abbu may have burned the factory that ... your mother died in." He started to weep in her hands, "and my father may have given you that scar."
"How can you want to marry me after this? I may be the son of your mother's murderer!"
She jerked and went numb, staring sightlessly into the night.
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Song in Title:
Dil Chahta Hai (2001): "Tanhayee"
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