AsYa: Elastic Heart Pg5

jessateurbrain thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#1

Hello everyone,

I ask that you brace yourselves because I am about to drop a bomb on you unsuspecting readers. Okay, I gave you hint in the title. I am taking a long hiatus from India-forums. I do this once every year, I come around after a few months though. I am taking a big leap in writing a story that is peppered with taboo topics. It's not going to be pretty. More importantly, this particular story will be my last for a while. I will finish up all the projects I have going on this website and disappear. I wanted to let you know in advance. I don't expect you to applaud my decision, I do ask that you respect it.

Now, for the story, it is one that deals an unconventional, morally dubious heroine. She is not likeable. Same goes for the hero. Actually, more so for the hero. There is domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, racism, islamophobia, etc. clouding the already dysfunctional relationship. If you can keep an open mind, I welcome you to disagree with me. In fact, I would love to hear the other perspectives on the story. Do these two messed up individuals even deserve a happy ending? Are they just so destructive for each other that they are better off apart?

Finally, I will be taking many liberties with the story. For example, Asad will not be Asad Ahmed Khan. He will be Asad with an Americanized last name. This means he will not be Muslim. Zoya will still be Zoya Farooqi. She will play a half Afghan/half American girl. The story will be set in America with parts spanning across the war-zones of Afghanistan. That's all you're going to get for now. I'll post the first chapter in a bit.

I will keep your suggestions in mind as I write the story. I have written about 1/4 of it already. I will write the rest based on your reactions.


Ooh, as for the title, I am thinking either "A Love Letter to America" because the US of A is as hated by the world as can get. But sometimes (though it's rare), they are appreciated. Or, "An Ode to My Motherland" just because this is a story of two people struggling with their love for their roots as much it is a story about their love for each other. Which title do you like better.


Let me know.


Cheers,

jessateurbrain

Edited by jessateurbrain - 10 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

33

Views

5.7k

Users

12

Likes

72

Frequent Posters

farz_parachute thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Oh wow! Just the concept has blown my mind! I'm sure it'll be a great read!

I've opened up your other stories, yet to read them. Soon!




Anywayyy!

All the best.



:)
jessateurbrain thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#3

Originally posted by: farz_parachute

Oh wow! Just the concept has blown my mind! I'm sure it'll be a great read!

I've opened up your other stories, yet to read them. Soon!




Anywayyy!

All the best.



:)

Thank you. I look forward to it.
-silentbang- thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Rocker Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 10 years ago
#4
that's an interesting and different concept...continue soon😊
kabhi_asya thumbnail
12th Anniversary Thumbnail Navigator Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#5
Concept is good... Seems really serious story...
And I like intense storyline...
No issues from my side regarding domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, racism, etc...
Want to read some really good stuff on asya..
Continue...
Antara123 thumbnail
11th Anniversary Thumbnail Sparkler Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 10 years ago
#6
An ode to my motherland sounds really cliched... xD So. Love letter to America and also because this one sounds different and refreshing... Well. Its your choice if you want to. But try NOT to delete your posts if you leave. We, readers, love reading stories, irrespective of anything and it is sad if we miss out on something... If you dont mind.
I hope you finish all your stories as you leave.

Is this inspired by Khaled Hosseini? I wonder. I love that author.
jessateurbrain thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: kabhi_asya

Concept is good... Seems really serious story...

And I like intense storyline...
No issues from my side regarding domestic violence, abuse, mental illness, racism, etc...
Want to read some really good stuff on asya..
Continue...

I am taking your word for it (for now) but girl let me tell ya, I have many reservations. I am not even sure you all are going to want a happy ending. maybe someone will even ask for an increasing body count. that's all.
will post soon.
jessateurbrain thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#8

Originally posted by: najma123

An ode to my motherland sounds really cliched... xD So. Love letter to America and also because this one sounds different and refreshing... Well. Its your choice if you want to. But try NOT to delete your posts if you leave. We, readers, love reading stories, irrespective of anything and it is sad if we miss out on something... If you dont mind.

I hope you finish all your stories as you leave.

Is this inspired by Khaled Hosseini? I wonder. I love that author.

thank you. hehe. that was helpful.
I won't delete it. why would you say that? I am not that heartless. 😆
I will finish them and like I said, I always come back in a few months. I just need a creative break sometime. usually spring or summer when the sun is out, I like to abandon my vampire lifestyle for a while and talk to IRL people. 😉
I have heard of Hosseini but never read his books. So I am going to say no. I was more inspired by the recent events. particularly, the human rights violations report that came out this week and also the end of war and it's impact on both the west and rubble in the nation the US forces are leaving behind.
jessateurbrain thumbnail
10th Anniversary Thumbnail Explorer Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#9
Warning: This chapter, and maybe the rest of the story as well, is full of angst. Ready your hearts people! Also, explicit language (no sex, not yet anyway) is used in the chapter. Hope you like what you read. Cheers!

CHAPTER 1

As his hard steps pounded on the hardwood floor of the apartment, his heart drummed faster. The sound of raunchy pop music blasted through the house igniting tingling fires in his gut. He was sure he was going not going to like whatever was behind that thin drywall. But he'd be damned if he didn't fish it out anyway.

When it came to that woman, it seemed, he had no self control. He couldn't recall just when he lost his suit jacket, his diamond studded cufflinks and the Hugo Boss tie in his excitement to catch his wife. He loved this game of chase. He'd come home at an odd hour and the poor woman almost never expected him. He'd walk in unannounced and then he would pounce. Why?

Usually, it was because he could. She was his goddamned wife. And he would do as he bloody well pleased. Today, however, it was more than that. He'd heard those gossip rag feeders run their mouthes about how f**kable she looked and he'd be damned if he didn't mark her as his. He never wanted another man to look at her, he'd blind them all if he could. But since the woman was too much of a free bird to be caged, sating his overwhelming need would have to do.

He slowly tiptoed around the hallway until he reached the knob of her bedroom-sized closet. Nothing in the world could have prepared him for what he saw next-

The eyes of a hungry predatory were fixated on his claimed wife. And she was half naked? He couldn't believe his eyes, couldn't bring his ears to accept the exchange he heard play before him.

"Work it girl!" the man hollered as he made himself comfortable in a plush chair, his eyes never leaving the abundant behind of Asad wife. "Shake that ass for me. Just like that".

Asad knew he should dart right in and stop the man but he was frozen, glued to spot as he watched Zoya giggle heartily and oblige. The woman had the audacity to push her ass up in the air and wiggle in the man's face. She had on a matching pair of red lace panties and a too-sexy bra that pushed her already blessed bosom to new heavens. She was a walking sin and he knew exactly how he'd take her if she'd put on that show for him. But now, she was dancing for someone else. And he hated every second of it. He couldn't speak, couldn't think beyond his blinding rage to destroy anything, anyone that came within touching distance.

He roughly slammed open the door until it hung by only a hinge in the closet.

"f**k", the man sneered and jumped instinctively to wrap himself around Zoya.

Asad didn't even bother with talk, he simply advanced toward his scared little bride and teared her away in one pull. He may have roughed her up a bit but he didn't care. f**k, he didn't care if he roughed the bas***d up either. In fact, he would like to shove his fists in the f**ker's face until he couldn't bleed anymore. He'd be dead before he put his hands on Zoya again.

Asad felt his wife's trembling hand tug at his belt loop. He ignored her. He grabbed the man by his collar and raised him so high in the air, he was sure he cut off all air supply.

"Please Asad", Zoya was pulling at his leg now and he tried to shake her off. "Asad please don't. Don't do this to yourself", she begged and cooed but he didn't want to budge.

The bas***d in his hold wriggled and managed to throw a punch or two. That was enough to topple Asad to the ground but he still had the tactical advantage. Soon they were a tangle of limbs and Asad rested on top of his chest with a wicked smile. "You got what's coming to you", he groaned and started blindly pounding his fists until he couldn't tell the man from a rotisserie chicken. The man was no chicken though. He fought back and hard. He managed to pull the punches just where it would hurt.

"Please, please. I am begging you. Both of you. Please".

Asad didn't much care for Zoya's pleadings in the moment but the man though otherwise. He pulled just enough force to hold Asad in place then turned his attention to Asad's wife. The f**ker was going down as soon as Asad found a way to get away from his grip.

"Go home Ronan, please".

"No", the bas***d groaned.

"He won't hurt me, I promise", Zoya said with such determination, Asad had to laugh. Right now, he wasn't below shooting her down cold.

"I am not going. Not until I know how volatile he is".

"Go Ron. I'll call you".

"The hell you will", Asad barked.

"I am sending my bodyguards. He so much as puts a finger on you, I will have him six feet under".

"That's not necessary".

"Well, I don't f**king care Zo. Bodyguards or I stay".

"Okay", Zoya resigned. "Now go!"

The bas***d hurried out of the door but not before instructing two burly looking men to keep an eye on Asad.

He didn't much give a shit. If he was going to f**k shit up, he was going to do with or without an audience. His little mouse of a wife had pulled a number on him. You can't expect a man to sit and talk through this shit!

"Talk. Right the f**k now", he ordered.

"He's Ronan", she said as he slowly closed in on her until she didn't have room left to breathe. He watched her eyes shift like she did when she was intimidated by him, which was pretty much all the time.

"You f**k him?" He got right to the point. He hoped to almighty heavens she would say no because he didn't know what he would do otherwise.

"No! Asad, listen I..."

"No, I am the one who asks the questions. How long?"

"It's not like that". She fumbled with her words.

"I know what I saw".

Zo kept silent but her gaze in the mirror got intense.

"Look at me", he pulled her chin to get her to eye level but she would not comply. "You that ashamed you can't even look at me? Well, you should thought of that before you let him touch what's mine"

"I...I..."

"You telling me who he is?" His patience was wearing thin and her flimsy appearance wasn't much help. She needed to cover up in the next minute or he knew he would do something he'd regret.

"Ronan is a friend".

Asad snorted at that but she didn't seem to hear.

"Ronan is a friend", she chanted under her breath like it was a mantra to calm her down.

"f**k Zo! Stop f**king with me".

"Ronan...is...ahh...a...fri...frie...nd", her words came out breathlessly and soon she was visibly distressed, hyperventilating.

Asad wasn't sure if this was real or another one of her dramatics but with his temper on the loose, he didn't want to take risks.

"Put some clothes on", he barked and stalked toward the exit.

He kicked the door one last time and walked away as Zoya collapsed on the carpet floor.

cutiesanya thumbnail
13th Anniversary Thumbnail Voyager Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#10
quite new story.The hero and
heroine are not nausenigly good.
do update

Related Topics

Qubool Hai Thumbnail

Posted by: Coloursoflove

2 years ago

*New chapter updated* Asya FF: Rendezvous with Honor *New chapter updated* Asya FF: Rendezvous with Honor

Asya FF: Rendezvous with Honor Asad Ahmed Khan is the prodigal son. All the tabloids say so. Coming from an affluent family in Bhopal, he's done...

Expand ▼
Qubool Hai Thumbnail

Posted by: desidillse

11 months ago

AsYa FF ~ Broken Ties (chapter 5 updated)

[NOCOPY] Hello everyone! Happy to be here. I was searching for an opportunity to be here with all of you as a member after a long time as writer...

Expand ▼
Qubool Hai Thumbnail

Posted by: ExoticDisaster

5 months ago

AsYa OS - Unfolding Yesterday

Writer - ExoticDisaster | Graphicer - Oh_nakhrewaali | Theme - Bag Unfolding Yesterday Zoya coughed, pulling the scarf higher over her nose and...

Expand ▼
Qubool Hai Thumbnail

Posted by: missFiesty_69

5 months ago

AsYa OS - Mixed messages, Matched Hearts. AsYa OS - Mixed messages, Matched Hearts.

This is one of the entries I had submitted for Valentine's day contest - A Bag full of love. cover : oh_nakhrewaali | writer : missFiesty_69 |...

Expand ▼
Qubool Hai Thumbnail

Posted by: missFiesty_69

5 months ago

AsYa OS - Love, Lies and a Spilled Latte AsYa OS - Love, Lies and a Spilled Latte

This is one of the entries I had submitted for Valentine's Day contest - A bag full of love . cover : ExoticDisaster aka Shiri | writer :...

Expand ▼
Top

Stay Connected with IndiaForums!

Be the first to know about the latest news, updates, and exclusive content.

Add to Home Screen!

Install this web app on your iPhone for the best experience. It's easy, just tap and then "Add to Home Screen".