For Aahil: Prevent Child Abuse !

To all the Aahil's out there...

The school bell rang shrilly...

Friends all around me jumped out from their seats happily.

But not me. I didn't want to go home.

My friends hated school, but I loved it. I didn't have to stay at home. Away from Mum.

I walked home like a robot. A fair distance, but it felt too close.

I open the front door quietly, looking out for my sister. She is five years old, Mum's favourite. She tells me if Mum is in a bad mood.

"Mummy's angry today..." she says. I swallow hard.

Mum is terrifying when angry.

It's my fault. I took that boiled egg this morning and lied about it.

I don't know why I lie. I panic.

I said I was sorry. I don't know what came over me. I love boiled eggs, so I took it. But Mum came yelling, that the egg was missing, that I panicked and said that I didn't take it.

Mum hates lies. She beat me hard with a cooking spoon and threw a metal cup at my head. My head hurt. I walked to school in a daze, and people looked at me weirdly. I was just so glad to be in school.

A teacher called me out of the class and took me to another teacher. A nice smiling teacher.

She asked me why my forehead was bleeding and bruised. And why I had those purple marks on my hands and feet. Do I get them often?

I said I fell off the staircase at home. She didn't look like she believed me. She kept asking me if I was sure. She asked me if Dad had beat me.

No way. Dad would never beat me. But I don't want to talk about Mum. She gives up eventually, telling me to come and talk to her if I needed to. Smiling teacher cleaned my forehead and sent me back to class. Eventually I forgot the throbbing pain.

But then I had to go home...

Mum yells at me from upstairs. I'm to go to her room. She's mad that a teacher had called the house asking about me. Mum wanted to know if I have said anything.

I was so thankful I didn't.

Why are you such a liar? Stupid idiot! What did i do to deserve you as a child?

Not only do I have to put up with your face, your lies, now I have to get scolded because of you too?

I look at the floor, if I'm quiet long enough, she'll stop soon.

Dad came home and they argued about my bruises long into the night. I felt awful.

The next day, Mum didn't speak to me at all. I felt guilty but also glad. I am useless anyway.

After that incident, my bruises somehow didn't show anymore. Maybe my skin became thicker. I felt all sorts of pain; wooden spoon, bathroom hose, cane, pinches,slaps, knocks on the head, metal ruler.

I don't know why Mum hates me alone. I do try to stay out of her hair. I don't talk at all around her. I have a fear of lying now. Was it all to teach me a lesson?

Now I am a mother. I sometimes feel insanely angry when my kids don't listen to me, but I can't bring myself to hit them, although I am so tempted to. I told my children, if Mummy beats you, to tell Daddy immediately. And I told my husband, If they tell you someone beat them, always defend them. Believe what they are telling you and investigate.

I am now my children's greatest defender.

My mother was a flawed individual, and I forgave her. But the cycle stops with me.

***

This is inspired by Aahil Raza Ibrahim's plight against physical and emotional abuse. His struggle touches me deeply.

No child should be subjected to ANY abuse; be it physical, psychological, emotional.

Say NO to child abuse.

There are other ways of educating a child. Using your adult strength to overpower them is just bullying.

Do comment if you support or have stories of your own.

Children are innocent. Don't make victims of them.

Goodness me, Sagey...

Back tomorrow with a proper comment.

👏

*****

A flawed individual, indeed. Only someone so flawed can do this to a child.

They are born innocent, perfect. It's what we as parents and society do, and treat them, that determines the kind of person they will grow up to be.

Here in SA, there are cases like this all thetime, and it's sickening. In fact, not just the parents. We have an expos show here and last week, one of the topics was abuse in daycares. Oh my god, I have not been that outraged in a while.

Knowing your child is cared for is something precious to a parent that simply has to work, or even chooses to.

In any case, I do think that there is something psychologically wrong with a parent that abuses their own kid - its just so much worse. Especially if there is another child in the picture that gets attention and love.

God, it's horrible.

But I'm inclined to agree with Juliet, too. A smack on the bum as a last resort when things are chaotic isn't abuse, as long as it is something that isn't happening all the time. If it is, then there is either a behavioural issue with the child, or a patience issue with the parents.

My son is the light of my life. He is hyperactive, talks a mile a minute, and is sometimes outrageously monstrous. But he is also sensitive and learning to deal with new emotions and experiences.

I try remembering this when I think he's being too naughty to handle. I try explaining. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. My aim in life is to raise him as a compassionate human. I won't achieve that if I show him violence to get my point across.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and the most rewarding. And you get tons of guilt thrown in for free.

But hey, the child didn't ask to be born . You wanted the kid. The kid is now your responsibility for life!

Thanks Sagey for this heart rending piece. Really makes you think, doesn't it?

Thank U for this...😳

seriosuly... the trauma a child suffers whether physical or mental leaves a deep impact on him/her... there r certain aspects of his/her personality that always remain troubled...

So unlucky are the children who have to suffer that... and unlucky are the parents who never get that repect from their child...

so sad and hearttouching

I can't believe there are people in this world who could hurt such innocent kids..children are

like angels who should be treated wih love and care...hurting a child is definitely against humanity

Thanks for your amazing post. 👏