Aap theek hai?
What did she mean by that? He wanted to scream- Theek nahi hoon...Bahut dinon se nahi hoon...
And anyway, what kind of a dumb question it is to be asked when you have just been woken up from the most beautiful dream...when you have never felt so rested before...
He had been restless before sleep...ever since memories of a dreaded childhood were awakened...the mention of that man's name...still sent a shudder through him, after all these years...He had somehow just managed to close his eyes, trying to ignore the unrest that was shattering his mental balance...
He must have tossed and turned...and then...he had found a safe haven...curled up like a little lost pup that had found its owner...some kind of peace had settled over him miraculously..and this night had not ended like the nights before... He felt fresh- like a new canvas waiting to be painted on a masterpiece...the ugly splashes of past had been wonderfully erased...
The blanket of peace had cloaked him...he had been in heaven...
And then...someone had tried to steal the blanket from him...he had refused to let go of what belonged to him...clutched it stubbornly...and he had won that battle...the night had been his reward.
Then came morning, and it was time to wake up...the thief had been gentle...he had been displaced from his comfort corner...but he had held onto the blanket...only it was a warmer one this time...it felt so good to be enveloped by this one...as if it belonged to him and only him...even this was tugged at gently..enough to break the dream...
He had slowly woken...to another pleasant dream...her face had been only inches away from his...he could smell her hair...feel her warm breath...it had been the most pleasant awakening...his mornings were a treat nowadays... it was heaven waking up to see her..she was like the last ray of moon welcoming his day...
Slowly the drugged daze lifted...she retrieved what belonged to her...what she refused to share with him...
He protested at this unfairness...bitterness covered wonderment and gratitude...
Aap theek hai? He wanted to scream- Main theek nahi hoon...tumhare bina kaise theek ho sakta hoon?
Instead, he had grumbled- Of course!
He was not letting her have the pleasure of knowing she had him in her grip...at least for that while...and god knows how many times, though he kept denying it...
And then she reminded him...of the pain he had evaded through the night...she had drawn the blanket away... and now, was she mocking him? The wound that had been healed over the night had been freshened...from somewhere he found a new strength...it had to be tit for tat... It gave him some small relief that he could hurt her back in some small way.
Tum sirf naam ki biwi ho- the pain and shock on her face...and the heaviness in his heart...who hurt more?
At least memories of his father did not bother him anymore...there was a fresher and deeper wound to tend to...that would not heal..the pain of which would be soothe from time to time..only to emerge stronger every time...
Aap theek hai? - What a bloody irrelevant question!!!
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