Chapter 15
Zoya had just finished meeting with her study group they were working on a presentation as part of their Molecular Biology course, the exam was split into three; twenty percent coursework, thirty percent based on the presentation and the remaining fifty percent was a written exam. The presentation needed to be ready just before the Easter break. Zoya couldn't believe how fast the year had gone her first year was going to end in June and it was already the second of April.
The group had asked her to join them for a coffee on the way back from college but as always she refused wanting to go to the library. 'Zoya, please won't you reconsider, have you seen the state of you, you have lost so much weight, studying all the time and being by yourself can't be healthy' Aliza said. Zoya smiled 'I am ok Ally...honestly and I am not alone, I have you guys and Kiran that's more than enough...I'll see you tomorrow'.
While Zoya buried her head in her books back at halls Karan and Zack met with Kiran and Rohan to discuss their plan. Kiran was apprehensive, she knew Zoya very well and didn't want to play part in anything that would upset one of her best friends, but she also knew how much being away from Karan was upsetting her even though she would never admit it. 'The most I can do is try and convince her to come to the canteen later tonight and you can see her there, but I am warning you any how you add to her misery or hurt that she is already going through you will have me to deal with' 'Kiran calm down Karan only wants to speak to her, all this is getting a little ridiculous it's been a month' Kiran knew Rohan was right 'fine meet us at 8'.
'Zoya I am starving please come down with me, its Friday evening no one will be around please...you can't even come down for me...Zoyaaa' Kiran had been badgering Zoya from the time she had returned from college 'ok just stop your whining...come on lets go' she said throwing down her book. Kiran jumped up clapping her hands together 'Ya Allah how childish is this girl' Zoya said rolling her eyes at her pretending to be annoyed. As they entered the canteen Zoya stopped by the door she had seen Karan sitting with Zack and Rohan, Kiran who hadn't realised turned around to see where she had got to. 'Zoya...come...you are not on door duty you know' Kiran joked as she saw Zoya standing in the door that she held half open.
Zoya didn't hear what Kiran had just said she kept her eyes on Karan, Kiran followed her gaze and realised what or more like who she had just seen. Kiran closed her eyes 'idiot I told him to make sure he came in after us' she said to herself, walking up to Zoya she placed her hand on her arm 'Zoya its ok...come na' Zoya looked at her friend 'I can't do this, not now Kiran...I'm sorry' with that Zoya let go of the door and walked back to her room.
'Karan...what the hell I told you guys to come in after us, she saw you sitting right here in front of her and now she is gone' Kiran lashed out at him. Karan threw his head back in frustration 'Karan just let he be man, what's wrong with you, I have never seen you like this before and that to over a girl' Zack said, Karan looked at him with his eyes narrowed 'Zack she is a friend who has been hurt, I wasn't able to say or do anything to her at the time I just want to know she is ok...what's wrong with that?' 'I understand dude but isn't it obvious that she doesn't really care and doesn't want you to be bothered either, just leave her to it'.
Karan didn't respond to Zack he didn't like what he was saying but chose to stay quiet, he looked up at Kiran 'she really doesn't care?' for the first time Kiran saw something in Karan's eyes that she had never seen before, there was a certain element of vulnerability, a sense of desperation, a concern that he had no control over. Kiran sat down next to him 'you want to know the truth...she cares more than you know, but Zoya is just being Zoya she is extremely good at fighting her own feelings and she is as stubborn as hell...sometimes it feels like she goes the extra mile to prove to herself that she is exactly what she thinks that people perceive her as...what Indu said or has been doing has not helped her...maybe Zack is right Karan just let her be'.
Karan knew he couldn't let it be he didn't care that what he felt was beyond his own understanding all he knew is that he needed to see her to talk to her and the only words that Kiran said that really registered were 'she cares more than you know' that was all he needed. He pulled back his chair and got up 'thanks Kiran' he picked up his mobile and walked off 'there is seriously something wrong with that guy, he is going to run into her room, not caring for anything...why he couldn't do this a few weeks ago and save us all this misery I will never understand' Zack said shaking his head.
What Karan had decided to do and was about to execute was nothing short of a suicide mission. He walked up to Maple High quickly glancing around he ran in and took the back stairs up to the fourth floor, if Zoya wasn't going to come to him then he was going to go to her and he will be damned if she didn't speak to him. On approaching her room he opened it without knocking and took a step inside, what he saw before him took his breath away Zoya was sitting on her prayer mat with her eyes closed and hands held before her making Dua (supplication). How could it be that someone sitting in prayer could look so angelic, how could something so simple create an ambience of tranquility, Zoya looked at peace her face radiated a glow that he had not really seen before.
Karan stood rooted, he couldn't move he was totally mesmorised by her. Zoya finished her Dua and opened her eyes she looked towards the door and almost fell back with shock, keeping her eyes locked with his she slowly stood up 'K...Karan...wh...what' as she had started to stutter some words she heard a noise in the corridor 'Karan' she called out in a panicked voice and ran to him. She pulled him in by his arm closing the door behind them, taking a few deep breaths she looked up to him 'what are you doing here, are you trying to get yourself killed?' Karan looked down at her hand that was still holding onto him as soon as Zoya realized she quickly retracted her hand 's...sorry' 'I need to talk to you Zoya...please' Zoya saw his pleading eyes and couldn't bring herself to say no, she pointed towards her bed 'come'.
As they sat down they faced each other at an angle Zoya could see Karan's eyes widen an automatic change of emotion took over his face 'what?' she said not quite understanding why he was looking at her so oddly. Karan turned his body around towards her and inched forward making Zoya almost skip a beat, Karan slowly raised his hands and placed them on either side of her head 'K..Karan what are you doing' Karan didn't say anything he just smiled, it was by his next move that Zoya realised what he was doing, in all the panic of trying to get him to come in before someone saw him Zoya's scarf had come lose and fallen down. Karan took her scarf by the sides and pulled it back over her head to cover it.
Zoya froze, she saw him smile nervously and then look down. Zoya fought herself to look away but eyes refused to relinquish their hold, she couldn't believe what he had done, there were no words that she could use to justify what she was feeling, his small act spoke a thousand words to her, she could physically feel her heart fill up with an emotion she wasn't familiar with but it felt right whatever it was.
Karan sensed her staring at, him he kept glancing at her not knowing how to start the conversation. They sat in silence waiting for the other to speak, Zoya felt tears prick her eyes as words continued to fail her. She lifted her hand and placed it over Karan's as soon as she touched him Karan looked up at her and immediately covered hers with his other 'I'm so sorry Zoya' he managed to say in a broken voice 'sorry for what Karan...I don't remember you doing anything wrong' 'Zoya if I did nothing wrong then why the punishment?' Zoya eyes shed the tears that she had been fighting back, she knew exactly what he meant 'punish...' She shook her head 'no Karan it was never meant to be like that, I don't know what happened...every time I thought about Indu and her behaviour towards me and then what it was doing to your friendship with her...I just kept getting this dull pain...I am sorry, I never meant to hurt you...I just felt it was better for me to stay away' 'stay away from...how was that going to help Zoya, you shut me out completely and for so long' Zoya placed her hand on his cheek 'I promise not to shut you out again' placing his hand over hers he squeezed it gently 'and I promise I will never let you shut me out Zoya...what I have gone through in the last few weeks is not something I want to experience again...we are friends Zoya...and I never want anything to come in between that'
Karan and Zoya spent the next few hours talking, he spent a lot of the time trying to rebuild upon what he had done some weeks ago, he wanted Zoya to start learning to accept herself and start believing that she was accepted by everyone else too. She spoke to him about her week at camp and he about the drama around his first production. 'Karan its getting really late, you should go before we both get into trouble...I can't believe you just came up here like this' 'well Dr. Zoya you didn't leave me much choice...and I am not leaving by myself you are coming with me' Zoya looked at him 'coming where?' 'If I am not wrong...I mean I could be after all I am not a doctor...but you seriously look like you're on the verge of being clinically diagnosed as anorexic, have you see the state of you...like when was the last time you ate properly' Zoya stated to blush, she looked away suppressing a laughter. 'I have you know I am far from being anorexic, and now that you mention it I am really hungry' she said rubbing her stomach, 'well so let's go'.
Thankfully Zoya managed to sneak Karan out without anyone noticing her heart was hyperactively beating all the while, she only calmed down once he was out and a good distance away from Maple High. On their way to the canteen Karan realised that it was too late 'crap...' he said coming to a sudden halt Zoya who was walking behind him nearly bumped into him 'Karan what happened why have you stopped' he pointed towards the canteen 'its closed...we seemed to have forgotten that it closes at half eight and its nearly ten' Zoya started to laugh 'that's ok we can get a snack from the machine in the gym' Karan pulled a face 'you want to have a diet coke and a bag of crisp for dinner?' Zoya smiled 'no, not just crisps and a fizzy drink we can treat ourselves to a chocolate bar too' she said pulling at his arm 'come on'.
On the way back towards their halls, they saw Rohan and Kiran siting on the bench making the most of the night and what they thought would have been a secluded area. Zoya stopped and turned around letting out a gasp 'Ya Allah what is that girl doing...does she have no shame' Karan couldn't help laughing he went around and stood in front of Her 'Zoya chill man...why do you look so shocked?' Zoya felt a little silly she knew that everything with her was a major over reaction 'no...it's not that it's just that...' Zoya didn't know what to say 'um let's leave them to it maybe we should walk around the other way' Karan agreed, so they went back around the building in the opposite direction.
Zoya wasn't alien to the world of love and people having physical relationships, it was just seeing Kiran in such a position took her off guard. The concept of such relationships didn't really exist in her family, her sister and Anwar had an arranged marriage and that was all the family she had, in her wider community you had people who went out as girlfriend and boyfriend but they always seemed to be frowned upon by society and having any kind of relationship with the opposite sex before marriage was a big no no.
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Salaam All
There was the next instalment, as per my message on page 87, I am sorry I have not been able to respond back to you individually.
I really hope u liked the chapter, don't forget to hit the LIKE button
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Saima
Edited by Saima-Syed - 11 years ago
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