SaHil Short Story: Look the Other Way (UPDATED 2ND JUNE)

saruu. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#1

THIS IS A SS NOW GUYS

Hey everybody!

I have another one. This is more like a half- shot (?) I think. 448 words I believe.

Just a small one, because I am in love with Aahil and there is so much more to him and I've said this once and I'll say it again- if Gul effs this one up, imma kill her.

BEWARE I HAVENT PROOF READ IT 🤣

Also, there is blatant misuse of commas. Srsly I don't know why, but there are a lot of run on sentences here 🤣

Hope you like it :)

CHAPTER 1: LOOK THE OTHER WAY

She hears the whispers of course. It is hard not to, the thin wilted notes of why him, such a bright boy's life gone, wasted, and no one can escape from nightmares if they are real brushing darkly against the windows, and crawling unsteadily out of shadows.

Sanam doesn't know Aahil. She cannot for the life of her understand his actions, cruel and cold one moment, unexpectedly pleasant and sincere in the next. She doesn't know him, but she would be stupid to not notice the darkness that sometimes curtains him, eyes that go bleak and blank, hands that unconsciously clench, whether in fear or anger, she doesn't know. Uncannily similar to the one that clouds Dilshad's face when reminded of Abbu and Ammi, it is also infinitely darker, and Sanam fears that the whispered conversations she catches the tail ends of are true.

Surely no Abbu can be that cruel, can they?


She tried to ask about it once; curiosity and unfathomable dread making her stutter and stumble through the question, but Latif shut her up almost immediately, hands clamped over Sanam's mouth and whispering words that did nothing to stop the itchy, nagging feeling at the back of her head that screamed something is very wrong.

"Laad Sahab will kill you if say anything about this, I am not joking. These are not small wounds that you are trying to scratch open, it is a storm you will unleash, one that will end everything if you don't stop."

So Sanam doesn't ask. But she needs to know. It is like a fire that is steadily consuming her, haunting her dreams with faceless creatures and a constant stream of please don't, I'm sorry, no, please that wakes her up sweaty and breathing hard, heart thumping loud in her ears.

Sanam makes seviya one day, for Dilshad and Haya. On a whim, she presents some to Aahil as well, a peace offering sitting in a glass bowl. He notices its existence quickly, and Sanam does not miss the hint of pleasure twinkling in his eyes even as his face is a mask of indifferent annoyance, and it fills her with warmth.
She also doesn't miss the look of pure agony seconds after, and is about to apologize for something she isn't sure she did- she had tasted the seviya, they were perfect- but is stopped short, voice lost in the sound of a spoon clattering against glass.

"You will never make this ever again," he says throat seemingly clogged with unnamed emotion, though a longing note drips through his voice, and Sanam knows it is not one of his usual orders, but a poorly disguised plea.

She nods.


INDEX:

CHAPTER 2: PAGE 5



Edited by suds. - 11 years ago

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FaultInMyStars thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#2
It was very short and yet very very impactuful. Please do continue this!
P.S. I love Aahil too!
farz_parachute thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#3
:)mine

...brushing darkly against the windows, and
crawling unsteadily out of shadows...



Amazing!



448 you say?


448 of wonder I tell you! Each word so deep!


I'm very impressed!!! Thank you so much for this!! So heart clenching...and a little heart warming too...hmmm


I love it! So very much!


You've outdone yourself yet again!!! Though your other one is still my favourite! How do you do it! Capture these emotions and translate them into words...all 448 of them!


Great piece!


Imma go read again!!!


Mwahhh
Edited by farz_parachute - 11 years ago
farz_parachute thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#4
:)



Now even I want to know his secret!



...



And I want more from you! I need to read more!!


Hee!
Ms.Sherlocked thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#5
Res.
Imma want page 1 too!
Ms.Sherlocked thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#6
Unres.
This one again, a brilliant piece man. You guys write so well!
And can I just say, I loved loved and just LOVED Sanam in.this piece?! The thing u said about her not brushing his past, so true! I would seriously like to see this Sanam to be in the show too!
Loved the last Para! The way she saw that hidden emotional Aahil behind his mask. Absolutely amazing! And so short. Yet so vast!

Oh Aahil! I love you my coconut. Ameerzaada. Jallad Jinn. 😆
TVD-IANcrazy thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#7
That's it??? I mean this short?? Next time it better be 4448 instead of 448. Okay. 😆 😆
Amazing man. You nailed it. You know I loved this Sanam. And every emotions; the denial; her thoughts; him pricked with something related to his past; her peeping inside his masked self and trying to learn something about him, peel off the real him. 👏 👏 So beautifully captured. And please continue soon. Even I want to know more of this Aahil and Sanam.
Edited by TVD-IANcrazy - 11 years ago
-Raj- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#8
amazing!!
crisp yet so much impact!
well penned!
mochhug thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#9
Have I mentioned how brilliantly you portray emotions?


If not then here is it.

YOU ARE AWESOME WITH EMOTIONS.

There. 😆

LOVED IT. 😃
LilApple thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#10
nice
got me curious
m certainly unaware of qh 2

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