"Zoya I'll hold the bag, you're hurt, please don't take the strain." Asad pleaded with Zoya to part with her bag.
Asad s car had broken down and even after endless trials he hadn't been able to get it to work. At last they both had to leave the car parked there after Asad had called Prasad to send someone to repair it and were now walking to find a conveyance to drop them till the next bus station.
"I am fine Mr Khan, don't worry about me I am a strong girl." Zoya said firmly. She was highly embarrassed that she had broken down in front of Asad, leaned to him for help and laid bare her weak fragile self in front of him. He anyway thought of her as some carefree, spoilt brat and seeing her tremble with fear must have given his ego a good boost.
"I know you are but there is no harm in asking for help when you need it, you're barely being able to walk Miss Farooqui." Asad said exasperated.
Zoya didn't reply and kept walking a few steps behind him keeping her frown intact. Asad sighed and stopped in his tracks till Zoya reached him and walked ahead. Zoya's brows knit in confusion at Asad's sudden slow pace and she looked back at him in curiosity.
"If I am walking ahead of you and you fall down, I won't even realise it Miss Farooqui, so.." Asad said innocently making Zoya scowl.
She was about to retort when he interrupted her mid way," Look you can't stop me from walking at a pace I wish to, you're being paranoid without good reason." Asad replied smartly.
Zoya frowned and looked away walking again and purposely at a pace her feet couldn't handle. Asad rolled his eyes at her stubbornness. He wanted to stop her, but he knew if he did she would do exactly the opposite he asked of her.
He let her have her way for a while, but when he saw her tumble backwards and almost fall down because of the pain in her foot, he went and held her.
"Mr Khan chodiye mujhe, kya kar rahe hai?" Zoya yelled.
Asad pretended as if he hadn't heard her and picked her in his arms.
"Mr Khan ye kya badtameezi hai chodiye mujhe.. I said put me down Mr Khan!" Zoya shrieked at the top of her voice.
"Zoya relax, it's pretty early in the morning. Aas paas jungle mai jaanwar jag jayenge, and I am in no mood to give them my flesh, I am sure you aren't either." Asad retorted, pretending to mean what he said.
"Mr Khan tell me again, why do you suddenly grow a sense of humour when I am in no mood for it. Why do you frown, shout and hurt others out of no where, but when they want to save themselves from your rants you suddenly feel the need to have a fun time getting on their nerves." Zoya seethed in anger.
Asad's face fell realising what her words indicated. But didn't retort this time and just silently kept walking with Zoya in his arms. Zoya gave up on telling him to put her down. She shut her eyes in exhaustion, tired of fighting with Asad, trying to pretend she was angry with him.
She had been hurt by what he had said, annoyed that he had misjudged her once again, spoken without thinking for the millionth time. She knew he never meant what he said, but nevertheless his words had bought back terrible memories and she was having a hard time fighting away the pain and tears. She had been excited to experience an Indian carnival for the first time in her life and had thought she would make Asad loosen up a bit while she did so. But all the enthusiasm and excitement was drained out of her, leaving her with nothing but a feeling of gloom engulfing her.
She looked up at Asad who was now breathing heavily but yet walking with her in his arms, holding her tightly.
"Mr Khan aap thak jayenge, till when are you going to walk with me in your arms like this? Please put me down, I can manage." Zoya pleaded.
"Miss Farooqui don't make me talk too much I need my breath to manage walking the both of us till the bus station.. So please SHUT UP." Asad growled making Zoya wince.
Zoya wanted to stop him and put her down but didn't know how to do it without angering him further. She could see he was having a tough time walking with her.
"Mr Khan please put me down, I can walk..you're punishing yourself like this." Zoya uttered.
"I deserve it don't I? After all it's because of me that you're in this condition." Asad said grimly just sparing her one glance before looking ahead again.
"What? No Mr Khan, what has my being injured got to do with you, it just happened." Zoya assured him, not understanding why he was blaming himself.
"I am not talking only about the injuries. You're hurt, but not just physically, I've hurt you with my words." Asad said remorsefully.
Zoya gaped at him, seeing his guilt in his eyes. She wanted to tell him it was okay, that she wasn't so hurt anymore and that she understood he never meant any of it. But she knew she would be lying.
Asad felt a painful tug when she remained silent, assuring him of the amount of hurt he had caused her. He kept walking even though his breath came shortly and he was almost gasping for it.
He saw some cars passing and he slowly made Zoya stand on her feet even as he held her tightly so she wasn't putting lot of weight on her feet.
He waved out to the cars passing hoping for one of them to give them a lift. A small empty carriage tempo stopped near them. When the driver told him he was taking the road that crossed his destination, Asad requested him to drop them till the far end of the town near his farm house.
Asad helped Zoya in and sat down opposite to her in the empty carriage space as the tempo drove away.
Asad observed that Zoya winced when she rested her feet ahead of her twisting it around to relieve her from the pain. He stared at her foot which was now swollen and winced feeling bad.
He sat straight and bent over towards her. He removed her sandal off and lightly caressed her feet. Zoya was taken aback when she felt Asad touching her foot and jolted back wanting to pull her foot away.
"Mr Khan kya kar rahe hai? Chodiye mujhe." Zoya yelled.
"Zoya your foot is almost the size of a ball right now, let me tend to it before it gets worse. Here you have some water, we haven't even had much to eat since last night, I don't want you to get dehydrated." Asad said in concern.
"Mr Khan you really don't have to do all this, I don't need you to father me.." Zoya said her feelings aloud and bit her tongue feeling shameful. She wasn't used to anyone taking care of her and though she admitted to herself that it felt nice being cared for, this feelings were yet alien for her.
"I am used to it Miss Farooqui, taking care of my family has been of second nature for me, that is what I do." Asad said without giving a thought to what he said.
"Family?" Zoya inquired.
"Aren't you Miss Farooqui?" Asad raised his eyebrows at her.
"You love my Ammi like your own, pamper and adore my sister, assisting her in anything she needs help like she's yours to take care of. You play with my daughter, have given her a new friend by being her age, something I could never do.. All of this without asking for a thing in return, isn't that what family does?" Asad said looking at her in the eyes directly suddenly making her feel unarmed at his words.
"Not everything is done wanting something in return Mr Khan. I get to stay in your house, witness a family's love, get so much care and affection in return, what more can I ask for?" Zoya replied surprising Asad at how simple and compassionate the girl was.
"I am sorry Miss Farooqui, I shouldn't have said what I did. And I know that just saying sorry doesn't wipe out the pain my words leave behind. I've always said a sorry after I've said mean words to hurt you and got back to saying something even more painful the next time. But I am like that Miss Farooqui, I don't know why but I feel a lot of anger within me, and sometimes I know no other way to manage it but to let it out. I've always let the anger build within me and let it be hidden there because I couldn't let it reach my family, but sometimes the frustration, the rage gets past me and takes over me. I am sorry that you had to be the victim of it. I have no right to judge you, question you or stop you from doing whatever you want to. Your life is yours and no one including me has any rights to meddle with it." Asad let out his feelings.
"Ayesha was always right, she used to me tell me I would burn the world with me when I let this fury get the better of me. I've scalded you with my words, which I am sure have touched a raw nerve and I can only apologise Miss Farooqui, I don't even have the strength to promise that it won't happen again." Asad said unmindful that he had expressed his feelings to Zoya, something he rarely ever did.
Zoya was shocked to hear his confession, his honesty and melted instantly. She smiled first time in the last few hours making Asad feel better.
"It's okay Mr Khan, I don't even remember if I was angry with you. Yes your words hurt me, more because most of what you said wasn't true." Zoya said shortly not wanting to explain to him why his words hurt her.
"Miss Farooqui is there something you want to tell me? You've been totally unlike yourself all this while. Not smiling, not talking, last night you almost sped of the forest without telling me like you'd seen a ghost. I am quite sure you're afraid of fire, but that fear almost disarms you completely. Aap theek toh hai na?" Asad asked his voice laden with unmasked concern.
"Mr Khan please, I don't want to talk about it. As for me not talking, laughing.. I thought it was annoying you. I've already been so much trouble, you had to leave Aahana for me.."
"Zoya please I said I am sorry, I shouldn't have blown off on you like that. Now when I think of it, Ammi is right. I've let Aahana be dependent on me for everything, been with her every moment, which is obviously the right thing to do. But I've almost begun to make her feel that she has only me to turn back to in every hour of need. I need to let her trust the others in the family, to make her understand that she won't have me around every second and will have to let others take care of her too. I don't want to stifle her, which I have absent mindedly already done."
Zoya's gaze softened and she held Asad's hand that was working on her ankles and squeezed them," It's okay Mr Khan you don't need to feel guilty I understand. I'll be okay don't worry about me, I was just shaken up I'll be fine in a while." Zoya smiled at him assuringly.
Asad smiled back at her relieved, but was left wondering what she was hiding. Until he got Zoya back to herself he would keep feeling as guilty as he was for hurting her. He wouldn't have even realised his mistake had he not seen her so shaken the night before. The stark difference between the Zoya he had come to know and the Zoya he had witnessed last night had shaken him beyond words.
They sat in silence for a while. The swaying of the tempo and the cool weather put a tired Asad to sleep. Zoya looked at him and smiled, seeing him sleep calmly with his head hanging at one side. He hadn't slept the night because of her nightmares, and with her being sprawled over him comfortably. She saw his head lolling towards the exit of the tempo and she feared he would hit himself. She carefully moved next to him and gently pulled him by his arm towards herself. He shuffled in his sleep and unknowingly rested his head on her shoulder as he felt her next to him and slept on.
Zoya looked at the childlike man sleeping next to her and smiled. She had been dazzled by his confession to her. It felt nice to be called as family by him, felt amazing when he shared his feelings with her. Even if she had been angry with, all of it had evaporated after hearing him out. She couldn't help but feel sorry for him, that he had to grow out of his age and become an adult so early in life that he had to shoulder so many responsibilities and parent his entire family. Lost in her thoughts she didn't realise when she slept off too.
****
Zoya woke up with a start from another one her nightmares panting for breath and dripping wet with sweat. She opened her eyes expecting to shut them after being pierced by light. But she was surprised to find herself resting on a bed in a spacious room engulfed in darkness. Hadn't she and Asad been on the tempo in broad daylight? Has she slept that long?
She ventured out of the room even as she felt a little dizzy and her head throbbing, to find the rest of the house surrounded by darkness too. She looked around observing the house. It was spacious, exquisitely designed, as beautiful as the Khan Villa. She checked one room after the other calling out for Asad but he wasn't there, nor did he reply.
"Mr Khan? Where are you Mr Khan.." She called out to him fearfully. She looked around at the spacious house laden in darkness and felt fear overcome her. Where was Asad? Why was she alone?
She heard the door creak and jerked frightfully, but when she went back to check she found no one there. The wind was blowing furiously and that was the only sound she could hear in the eerily silent surroundings. Tears welled up in her eyes as she felt frightened, horrified at being alone. She had been on the brink of a nervous breakdown since yesterday, facing her past had shattered her completely.
Suddenly horrible memories came rushing to her. A dilapidated warehouse, the smell of smoke, orange fierce flames of fire, the burns, the intolerable pain and darkness. Her knees gave away as she landed on the floor, sobbing her eyes out, frightened and all alone.
"Zoya?" Asad called out when he saw her crouching her knees closer to herself and sobbing her heart out. He rushed to her and squatted down to her level.
"Zoya? What's wrong?" Asad mumbled making Zoya look up at him. She stared at him for a few seconds before she launched herself forward and hugged him tightly.
Asad felt Zoya shaking in his hold, sobbing or trembling he didn't know but he was taken by shock seeing her in this state.
"Kaha the aap Mr Khan..." She spoke through her sobs, barely in a whisper.
"Zoya the fuse went off, there's been no electricity ever since we came, so I went with the electrician to get it sorted, he's taking care of it so I came to check on you. "Asad explained.
"Par hum toh uss gaadi mai.. itni der tak mai so .." Zoya fumbled unable to string her words properly.
"When we reached here I tried waking you up, but you refused to respond, I was worried because you weren't waking up, your pulse didn't seem normal. I called the doctor and he said your sugar levels had dropped too low, since you hadn't eaten anything from a long time. He injected you to raise your sugar level and you've been sleeping the whole day, maybe because you were exhausted, so I didn't wake you up. " Asad explained hoping his presence and words would make a difference.
But Zoya just kept sitting there in the same position, looking broken and frightful. Asad was beginning to get really worried for her now, what exactly had happened to make her so weak, like he had never seen her before.
"Zoya you need to eat something, the cooks made us some dinner, let me get it for you." Asad said tenderly as he helped her up and made her sit down on the couch before leaving to get food.
"Here Zoya come on eat." Asad said offering Zoya her plate as he placed his on the coffee table in front of him.
"I am not hungry Mr Khan, I won't be able to eat." Zoya said weakly.
"Zoya! You're really weak, you need to eat your medicine, you're injured, and really low on sugar" Asad coaxed her.
Zoya nodded negatively and refused to eat pushing the plate away. Asad sighed and went closer.
"Zoya what's wrong? Please tell me. I know something is deeply troubling you. Is it anything to do with what I said? I am sorry Zoya.."
"No Mr Khan it's nothing to do with you.. please just ..I don't want to talk about it.."
Asad sighed not knowing what to do to make Zoya feel better. She looked drained, and terrified as if she had gone to the grave and back.
As the clouds thundered and the wind blew harder Zoya almost yelled and shut her ears," Make this go away Mr Khan, make these visions go away.." Zoya said out aloud rather than her mind.
"What visions Zoya? Kya hua?" Asad asked scooting closer and trying to hold her hands away from her ears.
Zoya broke out into huge sobs and slid down the couch on the floor, hiding her face in her knees.Asad got up and sat down next to her and held her close trying to hug her. But she moved away and continued crying.
"Is this about the nightmares you get Zoya? Asad guessed making Zoya look up at him in wonder.
"It is right?" Asad asked again making Zoya scrunch her face and cry again.
"It's so dark, all such a blur." Zoya whimpered and kept mumbling incoherently.
"Zoya listen to me..please to listen to me.." Zoya nodded her head and turned away, wanting to get up and run away.
"ZOYA!" Asad held her back tightly and shook her, trying to snap her out of her present state.
"Zoya don't do this to yourself, tell me what's wrong. Is the darkness bothering you? Are you scared? The lights will be back in a while, don't worry. " Zoya shook her head and wiped her tears furiously even though they kept flowing down her eyes.
"It had gone away, it's all come back and it's bothering me like never before." Zoya whispered.
"What Zoya? What's bothering you?" Asad asked.
"The nightmares.." Zoya answered and looked away.
Asad sighed and cupping her face turned it towards himself," Zoya talk to me, let me help you. How can I do that until you let me know what has you so hassled. Don't you trust me enough to share your troubles?" Asad implored.
"Mr Khan mujhe khud nahi pata toh mai aapko kya bataun.." Zoya said exhaustion taking over as she slumped next to him.
"Mr Khan mujhe bachpan se nightmares aate hai, nightmares I can't even decipher, I don't know what they mean, I don't know what they are about. But they've troubled me all my life, and they are so terrifying Mr Khan. "
"Lekin nightmares kyun aate hai .. koi toh wajah hogi.."
"Mr Khan mujhe sab dhundhla nazar aata hai, its dark all around, a huge dark warehouse, and I am alone, and suddenly fire surrounds me. I can hear screams, I don't even know if they are mine or someone else's..aur mujhe kuch pata nahi hai. Mujhe nai pata ki mujhe ye sapne kyun aate hai, par bachpan se I've always been terrified of darkness and fire." Zoya said through a snivel.
"Last night was terrifying Mr Khan, andhera,aag .. it just .."
"It was dark in the forest, I took you to the demolished building, and fire? It must have bought back the memories.." Asad rejoined what Zoya left unsaid.
"Zoya!" he whispered and pulled her in a hug. He felt her sob as she clung closer to him and he almost rocked her as if he would rock Aahana in his arms.
"Zoya aapko bachpan se aise nightmares aate hai, toh zaroor koi haadse ki wajah se aate honge."
"Mujhe kuch nahi pata Mr Khan, kuch bhi nahi.. I don't remember being in any situation like this, but it seems so real in my dreams."
"Aapna kabhi apne Ammi Abu se nahi poocha?"
"I was very young when my Ammi died Mr Khan, I was barely 4 years old." Zoya croaked.
"Aur aapke Abu?"
"Unhe hi toh dhoondne mai New York se Bhopal aayi hun Mr Khan. " Zoya exclaimed.
"I haven't seen or met my Abu ever since I was born. Mere Aapi meri Ammi ki sagi behen nahi thi, she wasn't her blood sister. She didn't even know that my Ammi had a relation with someone and that she had given birth to me until she passed away. They found out I was in an orphanage and adopted me, but they never even came to know how my Ammi died, I don't even know where my Ammi was buried Mr Khan."
Asad didn't even realise when hearing her let out her pain, a tear seeped out of his eyes too. His heart went out to this girl, who was always smiling, always trying to make everyone happy and spreading sunshine, even when there was so much darkness in her life. He patted her head and nestled her closer to himself.
"I feel so scared Mr Khan, I can't sleep, I can't even shut my eyes Mr Khan, I feel so scared and weak.." Zoya sobbed.
"No Zoya! You aren't weak, you're the bravest girl I know. Aap itni saari mushkilo se guzar chuki hai phir bhi itni himmat hai aap mai, you've come all the way leaving your home in New York to a strange city all alone. Itni himmat shayad mujhme bhi nahi hoti, I wouldn't be able to do what you're doing Zoya." Asad said in admiration for her.
"Zoya facing the reality might make this unexplainable fear go away. Shayad jin sawalon ke jawab aap dhundne aayi hai unhe jaan kar aap is darr se aazad ho jaye?"
"Woh kab hoga Mr Khan? Mai jabse aayi hun unhi jawabo ki talaash mai hun, but I've only fallen into a trap of more questions than finding any answers.." Zoya whispered feeling safer in Asad's arms.
"Aap pichle kuch dino ye sab kar rahi thi? Woh bhi akele?" Asad asked in awe as memories of him blaming and questioning came in his mind. He shut his eyes and sighed, feeling disgusted.
"I am so sorry Zoya..." Asad murmured as he made her look up.
Zoya shook her head," You didn't know," she said weakly.
"But now I do. You're not alone Zoya. I'll help you find your Abu, hum dono unhe dhundenge. " Asad said gently wiping her tears.
"You don't need to do this Mr Khan, you already have so much to take care of.." Zoya said even though she was beyond touched at his kindness.
"But I want to Zoya.."
"Why?"
Why?' Asad thought to himself, why did he feel closer to her today? Why did he feel like Ayesha's life had flashed in front of his eyes when Zoya had reiterated about hers?
"Har kyun ka jawab nahi hota Miss Farooqui." Asad explained firmly not just to her but to himself.
Zoya nodded smiling thankfully at him as she leaned behind on the sofa. She felt Asad nudging her and she opened her eyes to see Asad holding the plate of food in front of Zoya.
A few minutes back she had felt nauseas seeing the food, but after sharing her pain with Asad, she felt lighter, she felt as if she wasn't alone and had someone sharing her burden. She took the plate in her trembling hands and tried to eat her food.
"Let me help you.." Asad said kindly and taking her plate in his hand fed her food which she ate silently but felt moved by his care and concern.
They were eating silently when Asad's phone rang breaking their trance. It was from home and instantly the food was left forgotten.
"Ammi?" Asad answered the phone putting it on speaker.
"Asad? Kaise ho beta? Kaafi der se phone nahi lag raha tha.." Dilshad asked concerned.
"Haan woh mera phone dead ho gaya tha, I just charged it. Aap aur Najma kaise hai? Aur Aahana? "
"Hum sab theek hai and your daughter is as good as you left her. I had taken her to the hospital, she's been vaccinated and she's completely fine. "
"That's good.. uh.."
"She asked for you Asad, if that's what you want to know. In fact she kept crawling from one room to the other calling for her Bu' in the morning. But then we took her to the hospital and to the park thereafter so she forgot about it assuming you were at the office. She was tired early so she's already asleep." Dilshad assured him.
Asad smiled hearing about Aahana and sighed, he missed her so much.
"Tum dono toh theek ho na did you guys attend the carnival yet?"
"Uh nahi Ammi woh.." Asad was about to tell her about Zoya's injury, but Zoya interrupted and signalled him not to worry Dilshad.
Asad smiled in understanding," Woh kal raat ko baarish ki wajah se raasta bandh tha, we reached in the afternoon today, so we thought we'll rest, kal jayenge."
"Oh okay, I hope tum dono theek ho, aur Asad please Zoya ko pareshan mat karna."
"Mai pareshan? Usse bhi kahiye na mujhe pareshan nahi karne ke liye." Asad sulked making Zoya smile at him.
Asad smiled in relief seeing her like that and cut the call after Dilshad laughed at his childish gimmicks.
"Aap Aahana ko bahut miss kar rahe hai na?" Zoya inquired.
Asad nodded slightly," Miss toh kar raha hun, par itna bhi nahi, aap mauka hi nahi de rahi hai."
"Mai?" Zoya asked surprised.
"Hmm, you're behaving exactly like her, I feel like I got Aahana with me.." Asad joked seeing Zoya eat her food, dropping it over her clothes and around her.
"You're looking exactly like she did in that video I showed you. I am wondering if you'll throw the spoon and attack the food with your hands too. Oh thankfully you at least know how to use the spoon unlike my baby"
Zoya gasped and whacked him, "Mr Khan!" and they both laughed. They spoke for some more time, Asad purposely distracting Zoya by making random conversation, by the end of which Zoya slept off peacefully.
Precap - AsYa going to the carnival finally 😆
Real Estate
Fan Fictions
46