Part 16:
"What do you mean; you don't want to go on honeymoon?" Asad asked Zoya, as he towel-dried his hair. It was after midnight and they had just finished showering after the grand walimah that Dilshad had promised them. Najma had wanted to decorate their room and have Zoya wait for Asad inside, as if it would be their suhagraat, but both of them were embarrassed beyond belief. They managed to get out of it, saying they didn't need all that. Najma reluctantly agreed. Her every reason was thwarted either by Asad or Zoya, so finally she had had to give up.
Zoya had been discharged a week ago and was settling in well. Almost as if she had never left the Khan mansion at all. Except this time, she wasn't just a friend or a guest; she was part of the household... she was there as Asad's wife. The thought alone had helped her recover well and she couldn't help but smile every time the thought cropped up in her mind. "Mrs Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan" she would think and smile to herself. "Well, now that I'm home, why would I want to leave?" she asked, as if it should've been obvious to him. He shook his head indulgently but didn't respond.
She sat down on the bed, resting her back against the headboard as she watched Asad change and becoming distracted by him changing right in front of her as if it was the most natural thing in the world. He turned to face her when he heard her click with disapproval. "What?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, his kurta in mid-air as he was about to slip it over his head. "I would like to lay down some rules" she said mischievously. "Hmmm, and what are they?" he asked, finally slipping his kurta over his head. "That" she said, pointing to him. Asad looked around himself confused. "Zoya, I don't get it" he said flatly. He was a bit tired to play a game, but looked like his wife wasn't in the mood to let things go. "I don't think you should ever wear a shirt to bed" she said, a very visible twinkle in her eye.
Asad smiled at her; his rare, lopsided smile. "Oh really? Is that so?" he asked as he walked towards the bed. "It is. So, what do you think?" she asked. Asad got in next to her and pulled off his kurta again, flinging it to the couch on the other side of the room. He pulled her close to him. "It's fine with me, but I have rules of my own too" he whispered. "Hmm, and what are they?" she asked, her breath tickling his chest. "You should also never wear a shirt to sleep" he said cheekily. She gasped then giggled and smacked his arm. "It's not really the same, Asad and you know it. What if Ammi walks in or someone else?" she asked, wondering whether he was being serious. Of course, it was unlikely, but him sleeping without a shirt would be less shocking to anyone than her sleeping without one.
"Fine. I have an amendment to the rule" he said, after thinking about it for a while. "And, what is it?" she asked. She was wearing one of his office shirts to bed. Soft, white cotton. She had said she liked the feel of it and he'd agreed, saying he liked the look of it. So, sliding his hand down her side, to her waist and beyond, he reached beneath the shirt and tugged down her tiny panty. "You can do without these in bed and if by chance, anyone ever walks into the room unannounced, they won't be any the wiser" he smirked. She moaned as he dragged the panty down down down her legs, caressing her thighs, claves and ankles seductively before pulling them off completely. He cupped her behind and brought her closer to him. "This is just as good, if not better, than the no shirt rule..." he said hotly in her ear.
"So damn wicked..." she muttered, throwing her head back in abandon as his hands and mouth worked their way over her body. "You wouldn't have me any other way" he whispered in between kisses.
Zoya had cleared up her misunderstandings at work, and began in earnest a week after the walimah. She'd been working there a month already by now, and had made such an impact on the small publishing house that she was soon promoted from unpaid intern to well-paid publisher's assistant. She sped through manuscripts, and wrote out well thought out reviews, as well as her opinion on all of them. Three of her shining stars were well on their way to author glory already and she couldn't have been prouder. Still, she spent an inordinate amount of time scouring the internet for new talent. She'd discovered a novel way of doing this too... she simply surfed fan fiction sites. There were truly some gems out there. And on her own dime, she had commissioned a particular author she found very promising. Zoya couldn't wait to read what she would come up with.
During some quiet time at work, Asad was going through some pictures from the trip Zoya and he had taken with the rest of the family a few weekends ago. He couldn't convince her to go away; just the two of them, but when Najma had suggested a family trip, Zoya had been delighted and even though Asad was frustrated, he couldn't help but melt at her enthusiasm to spend time with his family. He caressed the screen over her face on a picture he particularly loved. They'd decided to take a walk after an early dinner the second day of their stay, and Zoya had abandoned his hand to run towards the water. She had been standing at the water's edge at the lake and the sun was just setting. It made for a beautiful sight and he'd taken a picture of her as she turned to him and laughingly asked him to join her. Dressed in a long, flowy white cotton dress, she had looked ethereal with the sunset as a perfect backdrop.
*Knock knock*
Asad looked up from his laptop and reminiscence as Rashid rushed in immediately after knocking, not waiting for a response from Asad. Asad noticed his father's worried expression and stood up immediately. "Abbu, what's the matter? Are you ok?" he asked, suddenly feeling panic-stricken. "Asad... I am fine. It's not me... I just got a call from your Ammi. She was with Saira Khala. Apparently, Gaffur Siddiqui has had a heart attack. He's in the hospital Asad" Rashid rushed out all his words. Asad exhaled. It was ok. His Ammi, his Zoya, his family were all ok. "What else do you know?" Asad asked, taking a seat on the couch when Rashid sat down. "Asad beta... I called the hospital. He doesn't have much time. His heart is... things don't look good..."
"What are you saying, Abbu?" Asad asked, wondering what his father was really getting at. "Asad, I think you need to speak to Zoya, tell her what is happening. The rest is up to you both" Rashid said, patting his shoulder and walking out of the office, leaving Asad to his thoughts. Rashid was well aware of the fact that Zoya wanted nothing to do with her father, and that Asad had promised her he would stand by her decision, no matter what. He just didn't want Zoya to regret never saying goodbye to her father, if there was any doubt in her mind.
Asad stayed seated for less than five minutes, before getting up and rushing out of his office. He called Zoya on the way to her office. "Zoya, babe. I need to... speak to you. I am on my way to your office. Can you get some time off?" he'd asked hurriedly but as calmly as he could. He didn't want her to be worried or scared when he wasn't with her to soothe her. Zoya paused for a second, recognising the tone of Asad's voice, but then answered as calmly, "Of course. I'll wait outside for you" she said before going off to speak to her manager to ask for the rest of the day off.
"What's wrong Asad?" Zoya asked as soon as he opened the car door for her to be seated. "Get in, we can talk in the car" he said and she obliged without question. He drove off and then glanced at her; she was looking at him expectantly. "Your Abbu, Zoya... he had a heart attack, and things don't look... good" he said, staring straight ahead. Zoya saw his whitened knuckles as he held on to the steering wheel. She immediately realised why he was so stressed. She had decided she didn't want to meet her father again and he had promised her he'd never make her do it... but he was backing out of it now and it was evident that he felt terribly guilty about it. "Asad... stop. Pull over. Please" she said, her hand on his knee.
When he'd stopped, she reached out to cup his cheek and turned his face so she could look at him. "Thank you" she said softly. His eyes shot up to meet her gaze and he looked at her in disbelief. Zoya nodded. "Thank you for giving me the choice. I want to see him, Asad... and it's my choice. It's the right thing to do. Take me to the hospital" she'd said confidently. He turned to face the road again and nodded stoically. "Ok"
"You're not upset?" he asked when they'd parked at the hospital and got off the car. Holding his hand in hers as they walked towards the entrance, she smiled a serene smile at him. "Of course not. There's never a doubt in my mind that everything you do, you do for me. This included. I guess... no matter how mad I am at him, no matter what he's done... he is my father and if... if..." she had broken down before completing what she wanted to say. He held her in his arms and sat her down on a bench near the entrance of the hospital. He held her as she cried; for the father she wished she had but never got, for the father that never put her first, for the father that was now dying inside the building she sat in front of. Asad whispered soothing words to her, stroked her hair, let her cry. He was fulfilling his promise to her, in his own way and the way she had seen his promise unfold in her mind. Gathering her wits and taking her strength from the amazing man she now called her husband, she wiped away her tears and looked at him nodding her head.
"Let's go" she said, standing up and letting him guide her with his arm around her waist. Outside the ward, she squeezed Asad's hand. "You want me to come in with you?" he'd asked and she shook her head. "I think... this is something I should do by myself" she whispered and smiled through new tears forming in her eyes. He stepped back and let go of her hand. "I'll wait right here" he said.
Zoya startled at the door, seeing her normally composed and strong father looking a shadow of his former self, lying in a hospital bed with tubes prodding his arms, his nose and an oxygen mask over his mouth. She slowly and carefully walked inside and when Gaffur noticed her, he gave her a weak smile. She smiled back, despite herself, and took a seat at the chair near the bed. It was the closest she could get, because if she thought any harder, her mind would be flooded with thoughts of how she had been mistreated and she would run; she would run far, far away and not get this chance for closure.
Before anything could be said, a nurse walked in. Gaffur motioned to the nurse for something and she smiled, moving his bed into a sitting position and retrieving two envelopes from the drawer next to his bed. He nodded and the nurse smiled and handed both to Zoya. The one on top was addressed to her. The nurse explained. "He can't talk... I had written these out for him last night when he still could. I guess he didn't want to take any chances and I'm glad" she said and patted Zoya's shoulder before walking out. Zoya looked at the letter and then at her father, whose eyes closed when he saw Zoya removing the letter from the envelope.
Asad waited outside the ward, wringing his hands together in frustration and worry for his wife.
"Dear Zoya
I didn't know if you would come, but if you're reading this... you are here and I am so very thankful for that.
I'm sorry Zoya. I was never a good father to you. I brought that wretched woman into our lives and she took all our happiness. I am responsible for that, I know. I allowed her to. I just... I know it's not long now. It is my time, and I need one thing from you before I go.
Zoya beta, I need your forgiveness, please? I have done so many wrong things in my life, but you were the best thing in my life always.
You are just like your mother and I hope that you always will be. Despite what you may think, or what my actions have led you to believe, I have always been proud of the strong girl you are and the wonderful woman you become.
May you always be happy. Asad is a good man. I cannot change the past but he has already changed your future. I wish you both all the best and hope that you live a full and happy life.
You father"
Zoya read and re-read the letter and without thinking further, she leaped from her chair and took her father's hand in hers. If he was indeed on his way out of this life, the least she could do, not only for him, but for herself too, was to forgive him. There was no response from her touch; his hand was very cold, his breathing laboured and helped along. But then she saw it... a lone tear fall from his eye. He knew she was there. "I forgive you Abbu... I forgive you" she whispered gently. Getting no further response, she at back down and the second envelope caught her attention. Her eyes widened. It was addressed to "The Khans". Zoya peeked out of the ward and saw her husband sitting there with his head in hands, presumably still beating himself up about not keeping his promise of keeping Zoya away from her good-for-nothing father. "Asad" she whispered and he looked up at her immediately. She waved him into the room. He was hesitant at first, but then she told him there was something he needed to see and so he let her guide him in.
Silently, she handed him the second envelope but when she looked into his questioning eyes, she found herself explaining what the nurse had said. She nodded gently, motioning for him to open up the letter. His own eyes stung with tears as he read through apology after apology... aimed at Rashid and Dilshad; and finally apologies, and thanks, and hopes, and duas for Asad and for Zoya. He folded the paper neatly and placed it back in the envelope. Zoya couldn't read him. He looked like he had been moved... but now his face wore a blank expression.
He went up to Gaffur and leaned in. Zoya strained to hear him. "I promise. I will give her everything" she thought she heard Asad say, before he turned around and walked to the door of the ward. He stopped by Zoya. "Stay as long as you like. I will be outside" he said and left.
Approximately an hour later, Gaffur Siddiqui passed away in his sleep. Asad called Rashid and Dilshad and began making funeral arrangements. Zoya didn't need comfort, surprisingly. She was strong. If her father and Razia's ill treatment had taught her anything; it was how to be strong and independent. She had had her moment of breaking down. Now, she was overcome with emotion for one thing and one thing only. The fact that her husband loved her so much that he was willing to do something like this for someone he once swore off as an enemy. For one reason only: his love for her.
One month later:
"Zoya, these came for you" said Jia as she breezed into Zoya's small cubicle. Zoya smiled. It was a massive bouquet of flowers that took up most of one side of her cubicle. She eagerly reached for the card even though she knew who they would be from. "Just wanted to let my beautiful wife know that I am thinking of her... and that I love her, always"
Zoya held the card to her mouth and kissed it before pinning it up on her pin board with other little tokens and cards that she kept. She was sentimental about these sorts of things.
She got her mobile out of her bag and dialled Asad. "Hey hubby!" she said brightly. "Yes wifey?" he smiled on the other end. "Thank you for my flowers... Asad, you really don't have to do all this, y'know?" she said softly, suddenly feeling very emotional at the bouquet staring at her. She had received one every Tuesday morning since the week she had started work at the publishing house. "Of course I know I don't have to. I want to, Zoya" he responded. Asad was just happy that they were finally happy and that everything they'd gone through in the past was well and truly over. "Ok, I know that. I love you" she said. "I love you too baby. Now finish work quickly. I think I would like to take my wife out tonight" he said, as he looked over his diary for the day. "She giggled. "Yay! I'll see you at home later" she said. "Nope, I'll pick you up from the office, ok?" he asked and she agreed.
Zoya's eyes widened when she realised where Asad was driving to. They hadn't been to "their caf" in ages. He glanced at her and smiled. "Because I just want to relive those moments again... it is three months to the day when you came back into my life. I'm thankful for that day - every day, Zoya" he said, his voice thick with emotion as he started straight ahead at the road. Zoya's tears welled up. She reached out to put her hand over his on the gear shift. "Me too Asad. I love you so much" she said. "I can't believe so much has happened in three months..." she said, almost whispering to herself. This time, he reached out to comfort her. "But it's all over now babe. Only happiness and smiles from here on out" he said softly.
