Hey all! 😃And I know that I am awfully late this time! But here's an update! I am so so sorry...its just that after KSG Left, the inspiration to write for Asya just left me for a while. But somehow I finally figured out to finish the chapter I had started writing a while back!😊
Once again thanks a LOT For those wonderful comments you guys left me! I LOVE You all!
Also please read the note in the end..😊
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Around six in the morning, the startling sound of Zoya's phone alarm, which she had unknowingly carried along with her last night; woke Asad from his slumber. However, Zoya remained sleeping with her hands entwined in Asad's hair fondly and her head resting back on the bed side.
The shrill ringing of the alarm had managed to deepen his headache as he woke up. Furiously massaging his temples he tried to clear his blurred vision and as soon as the fogginess faded away, he found himself in a position in which he would rather not be.
He realized that all this time he had been sleeping on Zoya's lap for reasons still unknown to him. He had no idea what had conspired the night before and the aggravating headache didn't help much in wavering his doubts.
A wave of anger suddenly surged through his body as the realization of him and Zoya being together the whole night, dawned upon him again. His annoyance slowly started taking the form of extreme frustration as he couldn't recall the previous events that had taken place.
At the same time, Zoya was completely oblivious of the fact that as she slept reminiscing her moments' in her dreams, Asad on the other hand was ready to launch into a fit of rage. But even in a state of almost unconsciousness she could make out the sudden emptiness she was feeling when he got up. As her mind wrestled to put the puzzling pieces together, she felt her self drawing out of sleep and finally woke up at once to discern that Asad was already up and was looking at her with an unpleasant look on his face.
She for one knew exactly what might be going inside Asad's head as his red eyes stood fixated at her. She tried looking away but the magnetic hold of his eyes did not allow her to.
Hurriedly she stood up as she battled her next possible move. But before she could make an early escape or even say something for that matter, Asad had already dragged her to himself, dangerously close to his body.
"What are you doing in my room?" He asked with a voice that was certainly looking for a legible answer.
"a..a...woh...." Zoya stuttered as she couldn't decide between what to say, "woh aap....when I came back yesterday evening...a...a...y.you were heavily drunk...and a bottle had crashed on the floor...so I came to check on you...Mr.Khan you were in a really bad state...so I decided to help you" She herself didn't know why she had decided upon saying the truth.
"Did I ask you to?" he asked coldly.
"No..but..." On any other day Zoya would have lost her mind at his usual response but today she managed to hold back her anger somehow as she wanted things to be different now.
"Listen you..."He advanced towards her, his voice gaining strength as he spoke, "You don't need to check on me...you have no responsibility towards me! What I do, what state I am in...Its none of your business!"
"It sure is Mr.Khan" Zoya couldn't help herself in stating the obvious, "As a wife, your business is my business."
Asad clenched his fist as another wave of vexation ran through his body. She had again said the same thing! Why can't she understand that it holds no meaning to him? And how the hell did they land up in that position?
"Aapko samajh nahin ata...."But he couldn't complete his sentence as the throbbing vein in his head almost erupted due to all the shouting. Well the hangover was finally showing its colors.
He held his head in his hands and he would have actually lost his balance, if it was not for Zoya who held his falling frame. She lifted her hands to hold his and lead him to sit on the bed, "Mr. Khan please...please stop shouting...it wont help your headache...please sit down"
But Asad wasn't the one to stop.
"Just GO! Leave me!"
But this time she wasn't going to.
Not after what she had decided, not after what she had learned about him.
She cupped his face gently, "Listen Mr.Khan...I am never going to leave you okay."
Asad was completely startled by her response as he had expected her to storm off the room instead. She had a determined look on her face and he saw a different meaning in her eyes this time. As if she was trying to say something else. He almost melted at the care her eyes reflected. And the way she held him protectively did managed to break through the walls he had drawn around him for a moment.
Zoya immediately jolted out of her reverie as she realized the meaning of the words she had spoken. Don't worry Zoya he must have not realized anyways.
"a..a..I'll just go and get water for you"
She returned back in a jiffy which was apparently enough for the cold and stubborn Asad to make a return. She held out the glass of water towards him and as usual he bluntly refused. Typical Asad behavior.
"Take it away...I don't need anything...especially from you."
"Why? You think I have poisoned it to seek my revenge?"
She tried to lighten up the mood with a sarcastic reply but who was she kidding? Mr. Asad Ahmed Khan didn't have a funny bone in his body!
"I don't have time for your silly banter...Just go, will you?"
"No I will not." If he could be obstinate then so could she,"Not until you have this medicine. Please Mr.Khan its for your good only, you have nothing to loose here!"
He looked away trying to avoid her completely but Zoya wasn't the one to back out either, she was determined as hell! And then she did, what was in all sense, the unthinkable.
She grabbed his face, forced open his mouth, slipped in the tablet and without wasting even a second of her time, she made Asad gulp down the entire glass of water at once!
Aah! Job done! I should win the world's bravest person award for this!
"What the hell? What are you doing?" Asad was utterly shocked at how Zoya has forced him into eating that medicine. She had never behaved this way before.
"Oh C'mon Mr.Khan, do you have an IQ of a 3 year old ? I just gave you a live demonstration but still you couldn't understand what I was trying to do?"
Miffed with her reply Asad started getting up but Zoya held his shoulders down and made him sit instead, "You keep sitting. I am going now...will meet you at the breakfast table!" And with that she passed him a broad smile and walked out of the room.
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Asad had never been more irritated with Zoya before. Firstly, he didn't have an idea about anything that happened last night and secondly, her behavior had managed to infuriate him to an even greater extent. She was behaving so differently, he gathered. The concern she had for him was so evident in her eyes, even he could make that out. The fact that they slept together also refused to leave his mind and that added to his impending fury.
Why? Why does this happen? The more I push her away, the closer she gets to me!
I can't let this happen. I just can't!
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By the time it was 8:30 Zoya had finished dressing up and had arranged everything she needed for her first day at the office. Stuffing the brand new laptop in her bag, she made her way to the dining hall, after checking her reflection in the mirror for one last time.
She was surprised to find that Asad was not there. For the last couple of days he had routinely come for breakfast but not today.
Oh god is he angry because of the morning incident? But that would be too kiddish...won't it be?
Nonetheless Zoya proceeded eating her own food with her eyes periodically darting back to his bedroom. But Asad didn't come out.
He is such a weirdo I swear! Just because of a stupid silly fight..he will skip his breakfast? Allah Miyan please...this time I wish he is not planning to hide away like before...itni mushquil se tho thodi improvement hui thi...
Soon she finished with her toast and half heartedly decided to leave for office. She wasn't too happy with Asad's no-show in the morning! Anger inside her was slowly boiling up until she saw him walk towards her direction, probably to leave for outside.
"You are blocking my way" said Asad as Zoya stood facing him in front of the door.
"What kind of a behavior is this Mr. Khan?"
"Excuse me?"
"Why didn't you come for breakfast today?"
This girl was testing his patience now. He didn't know what has come in to her lately and why the hell was she bothered so much?
"I don't need to justify myself to you."
"That is not my concern. You didn't even eat anything last night, I know. And just because we had a stupid row in the morning, doesn't mean that you are not going to turn up for breakfast coz you can't stand my presence or whatever!"
"Keep your presumptions to yourself. And what you think or want has nothing to do with me...and STOP wasting my time!" he shouted in annoyance and brushed past her until Zoya held him back by his arm. "You aren't going anywhere until you eat! That's it!"
What is wrong with her?
He shrugged off her hand forcefully without knowing that it might end up hurting her. Zoya lost her balance and fell backwards as her head hit the sharp edge of the nearby pillar. "AAA!" she winced in pain as a small cut formed above her eyebrow.
Hearing her scream, he turned back and that's when panic made its way into him. He was shocked at the sudden turn of events which he most definitely regretted.
He gathered her by the waist and took out a handkerchief from his pocket to stop the bleeding. "I am so sorry...I didn't mean too...", he said with a panic stricken face. And he was right, he had not meant to hurt her physically but the fact that he had ended up doing the same was eating him from inside now.
"Forget it", she said dryly and held his hand midway from reaching up to her face, "Just forget it Mr. Khan..."
"Zoya it's bleeding..let me."
"But it doesn't hurt as much as your words and actions hurt me Mr.Khan. So leave it. I'll take care of myself"she said looking him in the eye. And as soon as her tearful eyes locked into his, he wanted to tear himself apart, for the amount of pain they reflected.
"This is not the time to get even Zoya...just let me help you...or else the bleeding won't stop." he almost pleaded with her.
Just then an idea creeped into her mind. "Only on one condition"
"What?" he was amused by her reply.
"You have to promise me that you will eat your breakfast right now."
There she was again!
"Zoya...I am already getting late..."
"Okay then you have to promise that you will eat when you reach office, fine?"
"Fine Zoya! I will eat something. Now will you please.."
She rested her hand on his arm as she said, "Mr. Khan you won't break my promise right?"
The innocence of her face caught him somewhere deep within and he knew that he wouldn't dare to defy those eyes. "Right." He said, a pleasant finality in his voice that assured Zoya that he wouldn't break the promise he had made to her.
"A..a...Zoya that night you brought a First-Aid Box to my room, ermm..where is it?"
"In my room"
"Oh. Lets go then"
Zoya wasn't very comfortable with this idea but she couldn't stop him, could she? That room had been the only witness of what she had been through all these days, all her hidden emotions, the times she had cried herself to sleep and repented her ill fate; it may sound like a weird thing to say but she didn't want Asad to see all that. She didn't want him to come face to face with her weaknesses.
As soon as he entered the room, he could sense her presence fill in the air. He knew that she had been lonely and this was where she had fought the tough times. He could almost hear her cries that the pale walls of the room, effectively consumed within them. It was rather disturbing thought.
Zoya took out the box from a side table drawer and handed it over to Asad. He took out a few cotton balls and cleaned the small cut carefully. He had made her sit on the bed and was standing in front of her as he did his job. He bent down a little as he said nervously, "I hope it's not too deep...What if it needs stitches?...I am so sorry. I didn't mean to at all..."
Zoya stifled a laugh as she saw him worrying like that over a small little cut! He seriously has an IQ of a 3-year old... I need stitches? HAHAHA!
He taped the cut and asked her confused, "Zoya, I think we should go to the hospital. We don't know how deep the cut is, I am sure it needs stitches."
How could she not laugh now? This man was the limit! On one hand he would shout at her like there was no tomorrow and on the other he would get all panicky over a trivial injury! For a moment she wondered whether something like PMS existed for men...he had some severe mood swing' issues!
Suppressing the giggles over her crazy hypothesis she finally spoke, "Mr.Khan I don't think that I need stitches, its just a small cut. And thank you for...you know...for helping me."
But Asad wasn't convinced, "How can you be so sure? I think we should take a second opinion"
Seriously?
"Mr.Khan I am not getting my kidneys exchanged or something that I need a second opinion!" she couldn't help but laugh out loud this time, "Don't worry I am sure...I am fine. And I think we should both leave for office."
He thought for a moment. Was he worrying'? No of course not, I am not worrying! Why would I?
"Okay...", he started to leave but Zoya's voice held him back again, "Mr.Khan don't forget what you have promised me."
He didn't bother to reply to her this time and quietly walked away, surprising Zoya a little.
Ab inhe kya ho gaya?
Oh! Ofcourse...mood swings!
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"Hi! Zoya right?" a cheerful young girl approached her as Zoya settled herself on her new office desk, "I am Nikhat. Divya Ma'am asked me to brief you up on how we go about working here"
Zoya extended her hand fondly, "Pleased to meet you Nikhat. And thanks for helping me out!"
"Oh no worries dear! So I am guessing that you haven't met our team?"
And since Zoya had not met anyone, Nikhat took the responsibility of befriending her with almost everyone on the floor! There was Abhimanyu, who photographed for most of the columns, Raina, Jai, Aaliya, Nikita who wrote articles under current affairs and then she met Anjali and Dhruv who were on her team along with Nikhat. They were quiet a bunch! And Zoya couldn't wait to start with her work already.
Finally something to look forward to! Allah Miyan I cant thank you enough!
"So Zoya I think all of them already like you! That's great!" Nikhat said excitedly, " Now for the work,as you know that you'll be working for the Mind and Soul' section of our daily publication...Basically what we do is that For everyday's installment a particular issue is taken as a centre topic and all of us that is me, Anjali, Dhruv and now you will be responsible for writing articles under the decided agenda. Sometimes we all work together for a particular write up or sometimes we submit our individual pieces for the section and send it to Anjali who edits it all together, it all depends you know! And since we are not related to current affairs or the mainstream News, so we generally keep ahead of the time of print and work for articles that will be published in the future days. You are getting it right?"
"Hmm yes!...so what exactly should I start up with now? I mean what is the centre issue?" said Zoya as she processed all the information in her mind effectively.
"I was about to tell you that only...considering the Nandita Lahri suicide case in Indore last week, you know the one that is in News for quiet sometime? We are centering our issue on Depression' and the complex state of mind...We generally distribute the section between all of us on every wednesday and since you were not present that time, you wont be writing an individual piece this week but will be assisting Dhruv in the main write-up. Okay? So what you do is, research all you can and draft an article on suicides, their root cause, effect and all that and submit it to Dhruv in the evening...any questions or doubts? Feel free to ask..."
"No doubts as such! Thanks Nikhat for helping me out.."
"Is it your hobby to say thank you at the drop of a hat? I told you right...no thankyous! We are friends all right?!" she said beaming at Zoya childishly.
"a..a..Okay!" Zoya smiled back at her.
"By the way Zoya...you are very lucky you know that right? I heard that you got that column Divya wanted to start? You know that's amazing! Our lifestyle issue is very popular with the masses here, you are going to get a great exposure!"
"Oh yes, Thanks. That reminds me that I have to work upon that too!"
"For that I think you should talk to Divya tomorrow because she is not here today, Most probably its gonna start from next week."
"Thanks again for telling me that! I better get started with the research now. I will try to handover it as soon as possible."
"Best of Luck", and saying that Nikhat fled to her own table leaving Zoya with her new found job.
Zoya started reading various case studies online about the people who had committed suicides in the past. She wasn't expecting a topic like this on her very first day as it required extensive research and knowledge. Something about the subject wasn't very comforting and soon she felt restless as she started to correlate everything with what had happened with Najma, as Farida Bi had told her.
While taking notes, she came across horrifying pictures and case stories that left her in a strange dillema. Like a flash she recalled similar bruises and cut marks on Asad's hands that she had noticed a few nights back.
After learning about his troubled past from Farida Bi, Zoya was now sure that sometime before he must have had tried to give up on life. And that thought disturbed her. More than disturbed her actually; it scared her.
What if he tries to do that again? He didn't look quiet well yesterday, he looked broken and shattered. Even more than ever.
What if the same feeling and pain resurfaces? Oh God Zoya, What if?
Her mind was reeling as the nightmarish possibilities played before her. She knew that she was over reacting but somehow she couldn't help it. After seeing him in a state that he was the night before, anything seemed possible. The more she dug deeper in her project, the more fearful she became.The thought of Asad trying to end his life made her stomach churn in fright. She noticed how sweat beads have appeared on her face and the fact that her heart was beating so fast. She just wanted to see him, ensure that he was fine or else she felt that she would go mad.
Get a grip Zoya, you are over thinking it!
And yes, she was over-thinking. She was most definitely trying to connect things unnecessarily but she had no control over her mind. She knew that she was in her work place and creating a scene there would not be the best thing to do and so she desperately tried to curb her anxiety. But the thoughts wouldn't leave. She didn't know why her mind was suddenly being so stubborn. All it wanted was to go and see Asad right that moment. She glanced at the wall clock and it was only twelve. She had five more hours to leave for home and until then she could only fight her trembling emotions and wish well for him.
Allah Miyan? Why do I feel that Asad is going to land up in some kind of a trouble today? Please please Allah Miyan let him be safe...please...
Only she knew how she managed to get the work done in the next few hours with her heart constantly alarming her of various horrific probabilities. She remembered everything, how Asad had cried in her arms. He looked so helpless and distraught that hear heart constricted even giving it a mere thought.
And thats what was making all her contemplations believable.
Something really bad had happened to him the night before that he had broken down like that. And to Zoya it seemed like another chance for him to go for the escape route. She shuddered again as she thought of that for the hundredth time in the day. Her mind and heart were in a mess now and the only person who could pacify her right now was Asad. She yearned to see his face more than anything this time.
Around Five she handed over the draft to Nikhat and rushed to take the cab back home. Even Nikhat was surprised as Zoya seemed desperate to leave for some strange reason. She even enquired her about it but Zoya immediately brushed it off as nothing.
Sitting in the cab, her hands were folded in prayer as she wished that whatever she had thought would never come true.
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Asad usually returned around nine so Zoya decided to wait for him to come back. The restlessness hadn't quiet left her but the familiar feeling of being in her home' had managed to warm her to some extent. She had agreed upon having dinner only after his return and in the meanwhile she settled herself on the bed for some rest. It was the best way to keep her sanity intact to the least.
She never realized when she slept off and woke up only around 9:30. She quickly ran to Asad's room and to her horror, she found it empty.
Its already 9:30, Why has he still not retuned?
Her mind started to play games again and her heart felt heavy. She tried to convince herself that nothing of that sort would happen but she was failing miserably. Her body started shaking as felt like screaming her heart out. She was feeling angry, confused and helpless all at the same time. The fact that he might be in a meeting or got held up by some work did not make sense to her. She was somehow sure that something was wrong, terribly wrong.
Zoya tried calling him up but it was unreachable so she dialed Afzal's number and spoke in a trembling voice as he picked up, "Salaam, Afzal ji I just called to check whether Mr.Khan is still in the Office? Can I talk to him...he is not picking up his phone"
"No, Ma'am. He left long back around five only. He said that he was going home as he wasn't feeling well."
And the phone fell from her shaking hands as it hit her. For a second she felt that her heart sank.
She didn't know what to do. She was right. She was right all along. it wasn't a stupid fear, he was definitely up to something. What was she to do now?
She was startled as the phone rang back and she picked up to take the call hoping it to be Asad.
But he was not.
"Ma'am its Afzal here, I think the call got disconnected so I called back. Ma'am you sounded very worried so I got in touch with Mr. Khan's driver Mahesh and he told me that he had dropped Mr. Khan near Lake View Park and then Mr. Khan asked him to leave. Ma'am you don't worry, its nothing. Probabaly he has gone to meet someone there, he will come back soon. He has the car with him and if you need any help then you can definitely call me Ma'am."
"Oh God...Thanks...Thanks a lot Afzal Ji."
Lake View Park? What is Asad doing there?
Without thinking twice she grabbed her purse and made a dash outside to catch a taxi, without even bothering to change from her white salwaar-kammez. It was quiet late and it was unsafe to go to a place she had no idea about but she could only care less about that. All she wanted was to see Asad. At the same time she was also aware of the possibility that Asad might have gone elsewhere but she was ready to find him. She was ready to find him safe. Or more like she wanted to find him safe. Yes, she only wanted that.
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Twenty minutes later she landed at the park and surprisingly, this time God was on her side. She saw Asad leaning on to his car front as he stared aimlessly into nothing ness.
She got out of the cab immediately and she could swear to god, the moment she saw his face, it felt like she got her breath back. She did, quiet literally.
Asad however was oblivious of her advancements until she ran into his arms, clutching him tight into her hold. It took a moment for him to realize that it was in fact Zoya who for some unknown reason has landed up there.
Is she crying? he thought as he felt her shaking body give into loud sobs. He was so confused and even when he tried to break away from her, she just wouldn't let him and drew even closer if that was even possible.
Listening to his steady heartbeat gave her a warm assurance that he was fine and safe. She couldn't thank Allah enough. He was fine!
She nuzzled into his neck as her breathing relaxed and she finally felt life back into her body, not even once realizing how she must have startled him. After quiet a while she let go of him and looked at his predictably confused face.
"Where were you Mr. Khan? I was so worried..."
Worried? Is this girl for real? Why would she be worried? And what made her cry like that? For a change it was Asad who wanted answers.
"Zoya...aap yahan? Kaise? How did you know...? and why would you be worried?"
"Your driver informed me..but that is secondary! First you tell me that why didn't you come back home? I was worried because it was getting late..." She couldn't possibly tell him about the real turmoil that wrecked havoc in her life in the last few hours.
Asad was completely surprised. He was an hour late and she starts crying over it? What has suddenly happened to her? And why did she care so much? She was hugging him as if her life depended on it and all because of the fact that he was late back home? Since when did she start keeping record of my timings? He was so so confused and the sadness in Zoya's eyes was somehow affecting him a lot.
"Zoya..I have told you multiple times that its better that you stay away from me. It is not your concern of where I am? And what happens to me...you stay out." his tone was soft but no one could miss how rude he sounded. But today Zoya didn't care. The happiness of seeing him safe and sound was even for her.
"You are wrong. What happens to you...what you do... does bother me" she said softly as she found her arms wrapping around Asad's waist to hug him again, "Thank God you are all right...Oh thank God". Her voice seemed tired and her actions perplexing. At least to Asad, definitely.
He felt a strange warmth run through his body as Zoya did that, again. Her words still didn't make any sense to him. And he didn't have the heart to brush her off today like he always did. Also he noticed how her body felt limp, as if she needed his support or else she would fall. He didn't know how the proximity wasn't making her uncomfortable at all. They had never shared a moment like this before and she seemed so fine with everything as if it was the most natural thing to do.
"Zoya. err...what ...I mean...what are you doing?"
"I don't know Mr. Khan" her voice seemed distant.
"Zoya...I don't understand what you want" he finally said what he actually was feeling.
"So do I...I don't understand too" she said cluelessly as she drifted closer to his body.
He felt her warm breath on his skin as she held him closer. Asad didn't know how to react. Here was the woman he has insulted to the very core, mumbling incoherent things and hugging him as if she would never let go. This was so different. What was happening?
"Zoya...what happened? See I can listen if you want to..." he said as Zoya's behavior had started to scare him a little bit.
It was only after a while she replied, "I..I just want to stay like this.."
WHAT? What was she saying? This was not a reply he was expecting.
"You are really confusing me Zoya..."
"Shhh...don't say anything. Please...its so safe here..." she closed her eyes and started to get lost in the rhythms of his heartbeat, It was so so soothing.
The moment she had seen him there, she had completely lost her mind and let her feelings take control. It was as if she got lost somewhere and only wanted to take in the moment with him. Whatever she was saying to him or doing was hardly reaching her mind. The heart was doing the talking. Yes, she might regret her swaying away like this once her senses get back but was the heart to listen? No. For this time, it was completely about him and her. Him safe in her arms. And the feeling of completeness and sheer bliss. Even if it was short lived.
Asad stopped protesting after he realized that it was of no use anymore. Zoya wasn't going to let go or explain to him of what she was up to. It did feel weird though, they were too close. And they were never supposed to be. Was Zoya developing any feelings towards me? No, of course not. I had made it very clear for her. But then why? He had no answer to this.
After a little long Zoya pulled out from the embrace and said softly, "Lets' go home"
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Throughout the car ride her mind played and replayed what she had done and what had happened. Its seems like her mind powers returned and obviously she had started to regret her careless ways.
Allah Miyan! Why do I have a have a habit of screwing everything royally??? Why??? What was I thinking? Shit Shit Shit! What must he be thinking???? Damn! I should learn how to control myself! But I just couldn't! Hell! I can't even explain my actions to myself! I don't know what happened...my head felt light...and it did feel like if I did not do what I did...I might as fell faint or something!
What a f**ked up explanation is this????? Shit! Zoya now be ready to face his wrath!
But he seemed so sweet...He could have just jolted me out but he didn't why????
Of forget it! The good thing is that he is safe. Not a scratch on his body! And I couldn't be happier! So what I literally pounced on him? Its totally fine...I was scared that's all...And I needed support...yes...And that made me pounce on him?? Oh God! and say I want to stay like this'???
Allah Miyan! Were those my words? Shit!
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Even though the battle between her heart and mind was still on, Zoya managed to calm herself down. Only she knew how she had lived with those thoughts a few hours before. It was so scary. She knew that even though she used all her might, stopping herself was next to impossible. For a change she didn't feel all that stupid about it as what she had experienced the following day and when Afzal had told her that Asad had left office long back, she knew how helpless and panicky she had felt. On second thoughts she had decided that from next time she would try not to over think situations. Obviously she still didn't know what Asad was doing at the park and that too for so many hours but she knew that she would never find out this easily. For now she would focus on how to improve his condition.
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They were at the doorstep when Zoya had stopped Asad from going inside the house."Mr.Khan can we talk? Its important... please?" She had something on her mind which she wanted to convey to him. It was about time.
Asad was open to listening since he was the one looking for some answers this time too. "Okay...I mean let's go inside and then we can talk"
Zoya was a little surprised seeing Mr. Always Akdu opening up to her suggestions...did one hug(or were they two?) and a crazy-talk change so much? She internally laughed a little.
"Thanks for agreeing...can we talk here only...I mean on the porch?"
"Yeah...that's all right", he said as both of them sat on the porch next to each other, under the lights of the house-lawn.
"Mr. Khan I have a few things...few important things to say so please listen to me okay?"
He gave her a slight nod in agreement and she continued, "Mr. Khan I know that you want this marriage to end and for me to go away. I very well know that. And I am sure you must be thinking as to why I am so adamant of not doing so? Well Mr. Khan its not because I enjoy getting on your nerves...its just that I can't. Not so soon" What she was telling him was not very new, she had told him all of these things before but this time she expected rather was sure that she would make him understand.
"Mr. Khan, it's about time that we start behaving like adults about our situation because being ignorant is not going to help either of us. You have to understand this one thing Mr. Khan that there are certain things that I need to figure out before we end it all." She looked at him with hopeful eyes as she said that. "Mr. Khan I know that for whatever reasons, you are not ready to give the answers I want. And that's all right. I know that you have your own space. And I have mine. There are certain things I believe in which I cannot defy, So I will wait until you are ready. And if a day comes when my patience is completely drained out, I will quietly leave. No hassles."
By now Asad has understood what Zoya was meaning to say. She wanted to wait and well he couldn't stop her from waiting could he? So he thought it was best not to argue with her on that. He knew that someday as she said when she had no more patience, she would herself leave.
"So Mr. Khan, can we at least be civil to each other until that time? What's the point of fighting over a battle that we both have lost the day we got married? I know it is difficult for you to understand this but the day I married you Mr. Khan, you became my husband and I became your wife. I believed in that relationship until you told me how you felt about it. And even though I am angry, very angry I just can't stop playing my part. I can't. For instance, what happened today. You were late than your usual time and what happened in the morning pushed me into believing that something happened to you! See, I know I sound crazy but this is the truth. I was genuinely worried. And its not because we are married or anything like that. Its because we live together and have certain moral responsibilities towards each other. And until the time we share the same roof, can we at least work on our responsibilities? Like normal people do. Just forget that you hate me for being your wife and I will forget that I hate you for doing what you did and accept our responsibilities for the little time we live together?"
Asad saw the pain in her eyes as she referred to her sorrows. He felt a tug at his heart as he noticed a lone tear trickle down her face. His voice soft and understanding as he said,"Yes I can Zoya...I know...we...I mean I have been rather unhelpful about everything but I can understand and yes you are right, we should at least be civil about it. But Zoya wouldn't it be easier for you to just go and forget everything like a bad dream...it would definitely be easier...I mean"
She smiled as she heard him say what she had yearned for from day one. That he understood'. What brought this sudden change? I guess I would never know.
"Mr. Khan its not about being easy, its about being right. At least for me it is. You know Mr. Khan as a kid I lost my parents and i know how much do relationships matter. I have learnt to value them like that." He noticed her voice becoming heavy as her eyes welled up a little, " The fact is ,that we are married'. Under whatever circumstances and misunderstandings. But the bottom line is that we are married. We share a relationship that is blessed by god. Whether you agree or I agree, doesn't matter because in the end, I am your wife and you are my husband. We can't just make a rude joke of it all, can we? And I totally understand now that you have had your reasons which you are not willing to share and in the same way I have my beleifs which I am not willing to let go. So I will wait. I am not saying that I am ready to give this relationship a chance, coz I never can" They both looked at each other as she spoke with utmost sincerity, "Yes Mr. Khan I assure you that I can never. After whatever has happened, my heart can never feel anything for you. All I am asking for is some time until we both figure out everything and act like grown-ups about it." She knew that she lied when she said that she could never give them a chance because she has in a way already done that. Even if her motive still remained getting Asad out his sadness, she knew that there will always be hope.
For some weird reasons it pinched him when she said that she could never feel anything for him. It was strange because that was suppose to assure him in the first place. "Zoya...I actually am glad that we had this conversation. I guess you are right. And I am a...sorry...for everything"
Eve though a sorry' could never make up for what Zoya had faced, she was more than happy that Asad took that initiative. She was already seeing improvement! This at least made her sure that someday she would be successful in helping him through.
"Let's go inside...and thanks Mr. Khan, for listening."
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Zoya hadn't expected things to work out the way they did with just a while back. She was rather happy that they had that little chat and sorted a few things to begin with. Cheerfully, she quickly freshened up and headed to the kitchen to make something for her growling stomach.
At the same time Asad was coming out of his room and on spotting him she couldn't help but ask, "Mr. Khan I am making Maggi for dinner, I am making some for you too. You must be hungry and you still haven't told me about the promise you made me in the morning" she said freely this time, without any inhibitions thanks to their new found understanding as she reminded him of his promise that he would eat his breakfast.
"I did eat in the office...and do you always have Maggi for dinner?" he said remembering the last time she had made him Maggi which he had bluntly refused to eat.
What does he mean by that?
"No I mean...actually I don't know how to make anything else" she said sheepishly.
"Would you mind if I cook tonight's dinner?" he asked her politely.
Zoya's mouth fell open. WHAT???? What did he just say? Somebody pinch me! Did he say that he would cook, THE DINNER???? WHAT?????? This time I am bloody sure that aliens have abducted my Asad! Wait...my Asad???? Zoya reprimanded herself from thinking along those lines as she smacked her forehead under disbelief.
"Are you saying that you will cook the dinner?" she said emphasizing her every word so that he was left with no confusion," Are you the real Asad Ahmed Khan?"
Asad realized how strange he must be sounding to her when he offered her help and found it very amusing as to how she was staring at him with her mouth agape and her eyes as wide as saucers.
"Err...yes Zoya, I am. And would you mind?"
" No, I mean not at all. Are you sure though?"
"Yes I am. I mean I know how to cook. Ammi taught me taught me how to cook panner. Is there any in the refrigerator?"
She stared at him in disbelief. This was the very first time he had shared anything about his Ammi. She noticed the far away look in his eyes as he said that but the good thing was that he was finally opening up to her.
"Yes...yes Mr. Khan. There is...in the fridge. Let me take it out. I had thought I would google the recipe but never got the time! I am quiet a fool when it comes to cooking!"
She proceeded to the refrigerator and got the panner container out while Asad washed his hands in the sink. She noticed that he had taken out the cutting board and was now looking for vegetables in the fridge!
Zoya was completely appalled on discovering this brand new side to Mr. Monster Ahmed Khan! Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined that Asad Ahmed Khan would cook for her! Okay not exactly for her, for both of them...but you get the point right? It's crazy!
Asad had professionally diced the panner slice into small cubes and had put them in the frying utensil, while Zoya was busy staring at him in awe!
"Err...Zoya do you know how to cut vegetables?"
Allah Miyan!!! Why did I not learn how to when Api kept pestering me around? Now I will look like a complete dumb-ass in front of this Mr. Know-it-all! "ermm...don't be mad Mr. Khan but I don't know..."
"Why would I be angry? Don't worry, I'll do it! Can you set the dough for the chapatis?"
Oh no! That's a tougher task! But Zoya's ego didn't allow her to say no this time so she said, "Of course I can! I know how to! Easy peasy lemon squeazy!"
Did I just say that to him? God Zoya why are you such a dork face?
Asad was amused at Zoya's little rhyme. She was such a kid. On second thoughts he felt nice to see her relaxed around him. It reduced the guilt inside him for some extent.
Zoya tried to recall whatever she had seen in the movies for the slightest bit of clue of how to start with the damn thing! C'mon Zoya It's not rocket science!
But it was for her.
However hard she pushed her memory but her brain cells refused to coordinate. At last she gave up and confessed to him, "Mr. Khan I am so sorry that I am disappointing you, especially when you are taking up all this initiative...I am so so sorry...but I don't know how to do this! I have never done this before! I am so sorry! But I swear if you show me one time, I can learn!"
She sounded as if she would cry any moment and Asad wouldn't like that would he?
"Zoya...why are you saying sorry? You could have just told me. Just wait, and let me finish with the vegetables and then I will do it, okay?"
"Okay", she said meekly, surprised as to how sweetly he was behaving with her.
She watched him chop the vegetables expertly into fine proportions. He worked so methodically, something which Zoya never learnt how to. She noticed his strong muscles flexing through the navy blue T-shirt as he worked his magic over the veggies. He was so different. So normal. And so Hot! A blush crept to her cheeks as she thought that. Duh Zoya! even a blind man could see that he's hot! With those abs and all! And those manly, broad shoulders...those eyes, his voice...OH God! Zoya!!!! STOP CHECKING HIM OUT!
She immediately looked away but not for long as he suddenly towered over her and outstretched his arm to fetch the big bowl from the shelf behind her. Oh god! did he have to do that? Her breath got caught somewhere as his now-familiar masculine scent made its way to her senses. What is happening? Did the world just spin in a circle?
"Zoya?", he called out to her but she was too busy in her moment to respond. "Zoya?", he called out again, this time a little louder to jolt her out of wherever she was.
"ermm..ya?"
"I am going for the dough...you wanted to learn right?"
"Oh yes! Of course...you go ahead, I am watching!"
Soon Asad finished with the preparation of the dough and had even made chapatis to go with the panner he had made earlier. Zoya was again left in awe as he neatly set the dining table. Is this the same Asad Ahmed Khan or am I dreaming?
They both finished the food in silence and needless to say it was beyond tasty! Zoya was completely bowled over by her crazy-maybe-temporary husband's culinary skills. He was bloody brilliant! She felt so nice having actual food after so so long. She felt like home!
"Mr. Khan I can't thank you enough for today! The food, My god! It's amazing! Thanks a lot! Yu know after so long I have had the good-old ghar ka khana! Thanks to you! I loved it!"
Asad felt happy at the same time a little sad when she mentioned how it has been so long since she had home cooked food. The guilt started resurfacing but he didn't hover over it for long. He had no control of what he had done in the past, the only thing he had control over was the future. And he had promised himself to respect what Zoya had told him the following night. He would respect their relationship until she figures out herself that it was best to end this marriage. And of course he would not sway away.
"Thanks Zoya. I am happy that you liked it"
"You are happy then I am happy" she blurted out without giving a second thought.
"What?"
Shitty shit! "err...I mean I am happy that we are being civil towards each other."
He stood up as he finished and looked at her, "I will try to home back home by 9:00 and if I have work, then I will Inform you. And yes, I'll make the dinner every night and you can help me, is that all right?"
She could swear she felt her heart warm up the moment he said that. She wanted to cry. Or rush and take him in her arms. She felt as if a beam of sunshine just broke into the cloudy dark sky! Was that even possible?
"More than all right, it's wonderful! Thanks!"
After they had cleaned the dishes, they both headed for their respective rooms when Zoya decided to speak, "Good night Mr. Khan"
"You too Zoya"
And yes, tonight is definitely gonna be a good, good night for her!
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Please tell me if the chapter sucked! I was pretty disappointed actually...but still tell me how you felt...
And now some real bad news! (I am sorry)
NOTE-
First of all I would like to say that after reading this note DON'T think that I am discontinuing this ff or anything! I love it and my readers too much to do something as cruel as that but yes there is something I want to say...in a month my Final exams are approaching and then later my college entrance examinations...And thus I cant even think of writing for a while now! I know I am being terribly bad...but the thing is that when I started this FF I had expected it to end by december but for some reasons I couldn't update as fast as I had thought! I am so so sorry that I have to put this on a temporary HIATUS! But I promise that I will be back! Pakka! I never leave things incomplete...I don't want to either as I love writing but I just can't for the few coming months. I hope you guys understand. I will be back and finish this story! I am sorry people! hugs!<3
Ps. Don't hate me.😭
xoxoxoxo
Edited by McdreamyKSG - 11 years ago
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