When Ram married Sita, he vowed that unlike in those times, he will be loyal to her, and remain a one-woman man all his life. He vowed not to marry anyone else, and did not demand anything else from Sita, in return of this promise.
Later when he was to leave his kingdom to live in the forest, his life along with Sita and Lakshman was to be of great difficulty.
Sita out of her love and heart felt duty, just like Urmila, asks to accompany Ram by her own choice. Despite Ram's pleas to stay back, she went with him and gave all to the relationship. Ram on the other hand, loved her more than he loved anyone, respecting her above everyone else. He would run and get anything she ever demanded, fulfilled her every whim. Although he never wanted, yet his agreeing to take Sita along with him to the forest was more to agree to her wishes as opposed to force his own decision on her. He always remained a duty bound, and more importantly a love bound husband who put her above everyone else : even Lakshman.
Ram's character has now been questioned for ages, because he abandoned her at a washerman's behest/comment...after they came back from the forest, and she was pregnant. It is perhaps the single and only blemish on the so called Marayada Purshottam's character.
It is important to understand, however, Ram's action in context of what he was. In the Ramayan, the section with this episode starts with how Ram and Sita spent time in the evening with each other, with Ram repeatedly claiming his love for Sita. He finds out that Sita is pregnant and reiterates that he will give her whatever she wants.
Just a few later, he hears the discontent in his subjects and all the questions about Sita's chastity. He goes himself, disguised to see what it was all about. This is when the episode of washerman happens. The discontent was very widespread and it certainly wasn't a washerman's comment on which Ram turned Sita out.
He came back and fought through the whole situation within himself. His concern as a king was that men had openly started treating women with suspicion and abuse. He knew, right or wrong, women were bing treated unjustly by the men in his kingdom. The reason people used was that Ram's character of single-woman devotion would bind men, and the fact that Sita stayed with Ravan (though forcibly taken away) for a year and was taken back by Ram will negatively affect women, who would no more be accountable for their integrity. Sita had not respected the Lakshman Rekha, and (Lakshman had not paid heed to Ram's advice of not leaving Sita alone mind you!!!) the women would not have any moral rekhas any more...taking away of Sita by Ravan on his lap and she remaining there with him for one year was to impact the women negatively if they weren't held accountable for integrity.
That is what the kingdom thought - Ram did not have a doubt or anything. This incident happens many months of their coming back! During the whole time, Ram was a great husband to Sita, anda wonderful lover.
Sita saw Ram fighting with himself. He had a duty to fulfill as a king - that is to steer his kingdom to good behavior - set an example. And on the other hand, he had his love, her. So, in asking him to fulfil his promise to give her whatever she asks for, she asks him to be left alone in the forest again.The decision was not easy for him and since he could not do it himself, he asked Lakshman to take Sita to the forest across the river and leave her near the Ashrams of the Sages.
Later when questioned by Lakshman he tersely responds to his questions s a husband, not a king. During the time that Sita was away, he didn't sleep properly (slept on floor) and lived like he would have in the forest, always , just always thinking of Sita and only Sita...He obviously suffered a lot himself - doing kingly duties during the day, but pining for his love at night.
The decision never sat well with Ram ever in his life, but it was something that he did as a King and not a householder. As a king, he gave his everything to that role. Women of today may argue he was wrong to put his kingdom before his wife... But many argue tshat it was his responsibility of leading others that came with the difficult choice of chosing duty over love.
Today when Asad is questioned, by Shirin who argues that he always claims to care for others, stand for the right... he may himself not accept this Nikaah, or doubt Zoya... but he is bound by duty to do what is right. WHAT HE THINKS IS RIGHT. And, that is to leave Zoya to Ayaan. He talks as a terse, brother, head of household, not a lover.
Is he the modern day Ram?
Yes, because he choses duty over love, over self. He is being as selfless as a head of the household can be.
No, because he shows little consideration for what Zoya wants in all this.
No matter what his sense of duty tells him, or how much Ayaan blackmails him... No matter whether he considers the relationship between them valid or not... he can not make Zoya agree to it if she does not want to. After all it is Zoya's life. Ram did what he did, with Sita's insistence. But here, Zoya is the one who does not want to stay with Ayaan.
Yes, however, again because, just like Ram, this is a blemish on his character that he will have to carry forever for!
PS I dont want to hurt anyone's sentiments, and apologize if anything in my version of the story here is incorrect - I quote what I learnt hearsay from others. Ever since they showed Asad sleeping on floor (after he finds out Zoya does the same) I had a thing in my mind that Ram did the same for Sitaji too... (oh, I just realized, Zoya does not know any of these little sacrifices he made!!!) and today, when he took Zoya to SM, I was just reminded of this little parallel. No way I am saying Asad is equivalent to Lord Ram or anything. I was just motivated to write this post with all the posts about Asad is wrong/right doing rounds today. Do comment!
Kumkum Bhagya
