Entry 6
Diary,
He knows… My Asad knows everything now. Whom I was kidding? Why didn't I think of the fact that he can read me in and out. Apparently I had a seizure and I blacked out it seems… and when they contacted the doctor, he told them about my disease. I have no idea how he suffered in those 6 hours during which I was blacked out. And when I got up all I could see was him, sitting near me, holding my hand to his heart. Tears rolled down my eyes seeing him. His eyes were bloodshot. I felt like he became soo thin within those hours. He hugged me close to his chest, my favorite place in this whole world… how I wished to be there forever…
Today again I had another seizure. I totally forgot what I was doing, where I was and who I was… and when I was back to normal I wanted to know what had I done… I asked him, but he just dispersed my question. I tried a lot but he just smiled it of... But he forgot one thing, like he can read the pain in my eyes, I also can read the pain in his eyes… I asked from our housemaid and what she told, left me shocked. I had gone to bathroom it seems… and… I came out without wearing any dress… Ya Allah… Before anyone could see, Asad had seen me and he removed his Kurta and made me wear that. By the time everybody came, he had shielded me away from them by engulfing me in a hug… Why are you doing this to me Allah? Why are you doing this to him? How he would have felt? Why are you doing this to us?
After knowing the truth I did the only thing which I know to do. I went for mad dash to reach him through the stairs. He was in the hall talking with my Abbu and his parents along with doctor. I didn't even for once care about the spectators watching us as I flung my arms around his neck while he stumbled backwards trying to regain his balance. I sobbed in his chest letting out all the guilt feeling pent upon inside me… he held me closer as he try to calm me down. I was in no mood to calm down… I really wanted him… Before I lose my memory again, I just wanted to feel him… deep inside me… I know it was inappropriate to hug him in front of the elders. But I couldn't help t…. I have really less time… and I knew, he too wanted me. I could feel that from his ragged breath in my neck. He cupped my face and wiped my tears telling me not to cry. He picked me up bridal style and walked towards our room. We end up making love to each other passionately… I have one regret though… I couldn't step into his house as his wife… I couldn't sleep with him in his room as his wife… I couldn't cook in his kitchen as his wife… one more week and I could have been in his home, letting the whole world know that we both are tied to each other for eternity… now I know, that dream will never come true… how much ever I wish, it's not meant to be happen… Ya Allah, why are you doing this?
Humeira closed the diary as she couldn't take it anymore.
"Ayaan… I can't do this… I can't take it anymore… lets go from here…"
"Humeira… what are you telling? I wanted to know their story and I know, you also wanted the same. Please…"
"Please Ayaan… I can't see them drift apart from each other like this… even though I don't know her, her pleas and pain is touching my heart. I feel like I am in her position…"
Ayaan knew what she said was correct. Even though there was no entry of Asad, he could easily relate himself with Asad. How he would have felt when the love of his life is being snatched away from him by fate… but Ayaan also knew that from where they came, there is no turning back now. Asad and Zoya's story is not some random love story now. It's the biggest truth Ayaan have ever found out. And he needs to go to the bottom of it. Determined he turned the pages of the diary, his eyes locking with the last entry.
Entry 7
Diary,
I hurt him… I hurt him to the core…. I can't forgive myself for doing that. Today I had yet another seizure. Doctor had already informed us that old memories may tend to resurface time to time muddling up with my present memories. But I never thought that I will inflict this much pain upon him due to that…
You may be eager to know what have I done, right? He was going out to buy medicines for m and I was in the door waving him off. Suddenly my vision blurred and all I could see was Kevin in front of me. And I was the girl who was madly in love with him. And I did what I have said to Kevin million time.
"Kevin…"
I called out to him. I could see the person in front of me stopping in his tracks. I dint wait for him to turn when I shouted out.
"I love you…"
I could feel Kevin breathing heavily. He didn't turned back but left there by saying 'I love you too". I was humming Kevin's favorite song and ascending the stairs when the reality drawn on me. My memory with Kevin, which was replaying on my mind, was replaced by Asad and our beautiful memories… I clutched the railing for support as I realized what a grave mistake I had done when I had that seizure. I thought Asad to be Kevin… and I just told him… I love you… how could I? And he didn't tell me anything, he didn't even scold me. All he just did was to reciprocate what I said… My Asad… Oh God!!! What have I done? Why did you punish me like this? Its better you could have kill me… I can't bear to be the reason behind his pain… I love him too much to hurt him day by day…
Nooo… I don't want to hurt him again. Today was just a start… what if it continues? I don't want that. I am Asad's and only Asad's… he have sacrificed many things for me, now it's my turn to sacrifice. Me, Zoya Asad Ahmed Khan, have reached to a decision… I will leave him and go far away… where he can't find me… it's not because I don't love him. But it's because I love him too much to see him wither in pain… I love him too much to cause him a lifelong agony… he need to move on his life and he won't do it definitely as long as I am in his life… he is such a stubborn lover… if he is stubborn, so am I. I will make sure that our paths don't cross again. I will leave him and my family… I am going Diary… he won't be able to find me… because even I will forget eventually who I was and… and about us… I wish I could tell him once that I love him and him only… I wish…
Ayaan pressed his eyes and lips together as if to control the tears which were threatening to fall from his eyes. Keeping aside the dairy, he pulled Humeira in to a bone crushing hug. After a minute or so they pulled apart. He cupped her cheeks kissing away the tears.
"You are right Humeira… true love do exists… This is our destiny… to unite the two souls who are incomplete without each other… We need to find Zoya and bring him back to Asad…"
Humeira nodded her head happily. And they decided, they will do everything possible in this world just to bring back those two souls together who were left heartbroken and wounded without each other…
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"She would grab whatever she could -a look, a whisper, a moan - to salvage from perishing, to preserve. But time is most unforgiving of fires, and she couldn't, in the end, save it all."
Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns
Tears started flowing from his eyes as he read through the lines again and again. Wasn't it the same case with his Zoya? She tried hard to preserve it when it slipped from her fingers. He could still remember the dreadful day when Zoya left him, left him heart broken. Even though it broke his heart to hear Zoya professing her love to Kevin, Asad knew it was not her fault. It was not his Zoya who had done that. Her tampered memory had done that. And when he came back home all he could see was a heartbroken Zoya's Abbu. Asad ran towards his and Zoya's room only to find there empty, a letter neatly tucked to bed sheet. As he started reading the letter he realized that she had left him. Left him because she understood in a fit of moment she caused him soo much pain. But what she didn't understand that he can't move on in his life without her. He loves her too much to let her go. He ran through the roads, railway stations and all the possible places searching her. but at the end he met with nothing but failure. It's been 6 months Zoya left him. There was not even a single day he didn't miss her. From that day onwards he didn't went back to that place where he and Zoya spend the most beautiful moments of their life. It's not because he don't like there, it's just that the place reminds him constantly of his loss… his Zoya… he have taken all of her belongings with him to his house… he would hug her dress and go to sleep every day.
And he had one regret. He couldn't show Zoya their room. the room which he decorated as per her choice… the room which he thought will become their once she stepped into his house… the room in which he thought they will create memories… the room in which he thought he will make love to her… the room in which he thought once will be filled with laughter and echoes of their kids… the room which will bond him and her in more intimate level… and all those thoughts were shattered the day Zoya decided to leave him so as to keep him happy… happy? Is he happy now? Hell NO…. how can he happy when his happiness is away from him… is his love was that weak that Zoya refuses to trust its power and decided to leave him all alone? His heart bleed with the mere thought of that…
His heart yearn to see her once… to hold her close… to feel her for real… but he was left with memories… the same memories which were snatched away from his Zoya but which were very much fresh in his heart…
Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi 2
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