AsYa - Ye Ishq Nahin Aasan...

Asad and Zoya...and their love! Problems at every step...sometimes, their own insecurities, their circumstances, their pasts being the reason...and at other times, the presence of these evil women (read Raziya and Tannu) becoming this 'aag ka dariya'! Everytime, they end up being on the opposite directions. Everytime, the bridge on which they are walking towards each other, collapsing just when they are about to meet. Everytime, they have to swim through this deep, painful and harsh 'aag ka darya'. Still, they manage to make their way in all these adversaries and get together. One blow from destiny takes them apart...and the destiny itself brings them together. Reason--its this destiny that has made them soulmates!! They still haven't realized what they mean to each other (esp. Zoya)...they still are battling with their own feelings...they are feeling the attraction, but are unable to decipher the signals of their hearts...still, their souls have united...since a long time.

Eggjactly, their love more than the evil characters is hurdled by their own insecurities because they aren't quite sure if they are meant to be. Zoya, I think, hasn't realized that there is love between them even though she went through a period of jealousy and wooing Asad. And Asad on the other hand has realized but thinks that he won't be able to handle the responsibility of Ms. Farooqui. Actually not even that, I just think that he has this image in his mind of a perfect wife and daughter-in-law which was utterly shattered by Zoya's mere personality and to think that he fell in love with her, tauba tauba. Yeh toh unki tehzeeb ke bilkul kilaaf tha na 😉.

I always say that Asad and Zoya are two halves of a whole...and they both are incomplete without each other. These two halves have to remain together, for this whole to remain firm, intact, and in shape...and if these halves seperate, or go away...then what happens is...that we saw in today's episode!

Asad had taken his decision...and he was firm on it. His words..."this country is not for her...its good that she goes from here.."

You know it might seem so harsh of Asad and it is but it is just that he unintentionally has set some expectations and boundaries for Zoya because he feels that she is his own and when she unknowingly messes up, he can't stand it. And his perfect safe world be shattered by someone that he will never tolerate. Especially against his mother who he has seen suffer so much.

She has seriously cared for him with her whole heart and mind and every time she tries to erase the hurt he has given her and that khadoos wala image, he once again says many hurtful things to her and hurls accusations without giving her a chance to explain.

Asad didn't look at her..even once. How could he possibly do that? He was not at all in the right frame of mind...he was incoherent and he was deeply hurt. The incident at the Siddiqui house...what all Raziya said to his mother...those words had stabbed his existence and taken away every bit of rationality from his mind. And in such a state...I am one of those few people, who completely understand and justify his anger. Anyway, that's a different debate..

He was angry that is all I can say, and this has happened before as well, when Asad gets mad he says everything and anything that can possibly come to his mind. Let me rephrase that when someone does something that could possibly harm Najma and his ammi then he rages with anger because no one, I repeat no one has the right to do so.

Anyhow...he had said those words...and now..it was time for DB to take Zoya along and send her back to NY.

Zoya's world had come crashing down with Asad's decision. She didn't utter a word...she didn't protest...she didn't argue? What possibly could she have argued? Her good intentions were again the reason of her misery. Tannu's plan had ruined eveything for the girl...and there was nothing she could say now. Her only outlet were those unstoppable stream of tears that were flowing from her eyes.

Her luggage was already packed...and it was time to go!

The fact that he always thought she was the wrong one and she didn't deserve to be there was the end of the argument. I reminded me of when he said that his parents weren't there to teach her tehzeeb and she hadn't uttered a single word because she wants to be the strong one and even though it doesn't always work she still tries.

Zoya was looking around the place...the place which had become 'home' for her. She had never had a family...people who loved her...a place which she could call 'home'. This Khan house had filled that void...it had given her love of a mother, support and friendship of a sister...and companionship of a person who was now a part of her existence. Leaving this place was like leaving a part of her back...and this emptiness was piercing her heart to no end.

This was so sad, because it wasn't just Asad that she would remember because of the love that they shared but also Najma and Dilshad because their trio was so cute and their bonding was outstanding, and that is right she had for the first time found her "home".

She greeted Tannu, who obviously was rejoicing her victory. Najma and Dilshad were equally sad as Zoya was...their tears not stopping as well. Asad's decision had left them shocked too...there was nothing this mother-daughter duo could do...but they couldn't bear the sight of Zoya leaving.

Zoya was looking around the place...trying the abosrb the warmth of that house to be cherished forever. She could never imagine that the day would turn out to be like this for her...but it was a reality. With those tears flowing from her eyes...blurring her vision...she scanned the entire place!

She was in so much pain that words couldn't describe and it was a really heart wrenching moment to leave your loved ones and your home that too with a burden on your heart that before you left you couldn't give your "family" happiness.

And right at the back of her...the door of his room slightly opened. Asad stood there...watching her go! His gaze fixed on her...seeing her probably for the last time...looking at how devastated she was. Her weak demeanour was stabbing his heart...and that pain accumulating in his eyes in the form of that moisture. For a change...Mr. Asad Ahmed Khan did not stop this moisture. This was the reason he had retreated back to his room...so that he could let his emotions flow without anyone seeing him. And also...so that till the last minute...till Zoya actually leaves his house...he could see her...capture her last look in his eyes and in his heart forever n ever. Loveddd this scene!!!

This is what he has always done. First be the strong one before family and suffer in the quite confinement of his room and Zoya does the exact same thing. They both want to be the supports of others but they won't admit that sometimes they need a shoulder to cry on as well and this is where they need each other because they have given each other such great courage and support when they needed it respectively.

And then, she reached the main door. She turned around...and memories of the time spent at this house were flashing in her mind. These memories were the only thing that she had now...she knew that she had to live with them. At least..she wasn't going empty-handed. She was taking along all those memorable moments with her.

Zoya and DB had almost reached the car...and she turned to see that house one last time.

Asad was standing there on his balcony...watching her go!

Kaisa hai safar wafa ki manzil ka..

Na hai koi hal, dilon ki mushkil ka.

Dhadkan, dhadkan, bikhri ranjishein...

Saansein saansein tooti bandishein

As these lines played in the background...their minds were crowded with those blissful moments of togetherness that they had spent in all this time. Zoya's smile...the bliss of being in her haven, i.e. his arms...the time spent together...it all was flashing in front of their eyes.

Kahin toh her lamha honton pe fariyad hai..

Kissi ki duniya chahat mein barbaad hai.

DB signaled Zoya to sit in the car...she wiped her tears...and that was again a moment of reminiscance for her...reminiscing that gentle touch of his when he wiped her tears on their way back from Mangalpur. Unlike the lyrics here...there was no request (fariyad) on Zoya's lips...her words had completely ditched her...but her eyes saw him standing at the balcony..and they conveyed everything to him.

This was a very sad scene very beautifully portraying each characters' emotions. They had this unspoken bond, and they both expected the other to be the understanding one, while they wouldn't take the initiative themselves. If the other chose to do something they would lash out at them but wouldn't accept the truth. Egos clashed but now it was more of the hurt that they had given each other.

Asad's world had come to a standstill. Watching her go was tearing him apart...but he couldn't do anything about it. This is Asad for us...he is bearing all that pain...he is seeing the girl suffering and devastated...but he couldn't just stop her!

He always did that and then he would regret but go on with his normal life because his happiness didn't matter to him, and their love wasn't meant to be.

Their eyes met...and like always, their gazes locked. The eyes communicating through those tears...the hearts sharing the same, deep pain, which was unbearable for both of them.

They both knew what the other was feeling and what he or she wanted to say but they let it go because somethings are better if left untold.

He didn't stop her...and she proceeded to sit in the car. Just as was going to sit...his words stopped her in her tracks again..

"Jab aap mujhey inti naapasand hein...toh aap mujhey itni achi kyon lagti hein.."

That night at the farm house...though trough vague memories...it is imprinted in their hearts and souls. As Zoya remembered those words...she turned again...a hope sparkling in her eyes..that maybe he stops her.

"Kyon meri tanhayion mein khalal daalti hein aap...kyon merey andheron mein roshni bun ke aati hein aap.."

Though intoxicated...Asad, for the first time, was vocal about his feelings. As per me...it was his confession...and what a beautiful confession it was. These few lines from him summed up his love for Zoya...and today again, those same lines were felt between them. He was standing there alone...and the sight of Zoya going was playing havoc inside him. Before Zoya stepped in his house...his life was dark and empty. Zoya filled it with light, smiles, happiness...she filled it with love. And today...he was seeing his light, his smile, his happiness going away from him...hamesha ke liye...and with that thought, the emptiness n hollowness had started making their way back for him.

She wasn't perfect, he wasn't perfect. He was Mr. Khadoos who never smiled. She had so many flaws, she was crazy and a complete misfit in Asad's brain but his heart thought that she was the perfect choice for him because their imperfections became perfect when they were together. His flaws covered hers and vice versa.

Still...he didn't stop her. Those memories, her tears...his sunshine going away from him...nothing made him stop her. Asad had retreated back to his shell...he had built the strong wall around his heart again...and this self-confinement didn't let his heart's voice reach his mind. The heart was helpless...and the mind was numb! As the song aptly said...Dilbar pe ho na koi asar...koi asar..

Pyaar hai ya sazaa, aye merey dil bataa

Toot-ta kyon nahin dard ka silsila..

Love and its never ending tests! Asad and Zoya both trying to find answers to this sudden development...but one had closed every possible entry towards his heart (read Asad)...and the other was too shocked to think of anything (read Zoya). Was it their punishment of falling in love? Is love only meant for giving pain?? At least for them...this was their condition!

Zoya sat in the car...and till the car left the gate...their gazes were locked. Tears here...tears there...a never ending 'dard ka silsila'!

Zoya had started her journey towards the airport...and Asad had started walking on the path of remorse. Their hearts and their minds were flowing in a deep sea of emotions...filled with memories of their togetherness. Their only companion now were their tears and their loneliness...

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Asad had locked himself in his room. Though light was coming in there from that huge window...still, there was darkness all around him. His sunshine had left...and he could do nothing about it..except watch her go away from his life. THIS is Asad Ahmed Khan! So in-character for the man.

He was sitting and crying alone in his room...the walls around his heart back in place...blocking the voice of his heart, so that it doesn't reach his mind. This was giving him immense pain...but he has become a pro at dealing with pain throughout his life...hasn't he?!

And just then...his heart's voice found its medium to come to the fore.This medium is none other than his mom. Like always...she started breaking those walls...by triggering emotions and feelings there. Who better than Dilshad would know how to bring her son out from that shell...and make his see what his anger has lead to? She didn't speak then...when Zoya was going...but now, she had a reason to speak.

I love when Dilshad comes and speaks to Asad when he needs a mother and mentor the most. It shows that the other characters aren't just there to be there but they have a purpose to serve as well. And who can know someone better than their mother? She knows what is in his heart and how to bring those suppressed feeling to the fore front.

Asad avoided talking to her...he was very weak n vulnerable...and he didn't want his mother and sister to see him like this. But Dilshad is his mother only...if she had to talk to him n convince him...then there is no stepping back.

She showed Asad the video. Zoya's words...her concern for Asad...every single word of her's fell straight on his heart...making it impossible for him to even breathe. She had done so much for him...just to see him smile..give him happiness. And in return..what did he do to her? Tell her to go away from his house...his life?? Say that there is nothing between them?? Like Dilshad said...he accused her..insulted her..and made her go away from them..from him?? THIS was the voice of his heart that he was supressing. THIS was the trigger that Asad needed! He needed to hear it in words...and Dilshad did exactly that!

He just needed sort of a reality check like what am I kidding, she loves me! She cares for me and she is the only correct one for me in this universe.

Dilshad, in a way, acts as Asad's heart. The emotional quotient..the feelings...the vulnarabilities...the strengths...SHE is the one who makes him realize about them. Otherwise, Asad's past has led him to keep all these feeling and emotions miles away from there.

Asad is the type of person that wants to act like a machine, and he thinks that hearts are just there to pump blood ( which they are) and nothing more so what is the point of listening to your heart because it will only give you pain. Be practical and make logical choices is his funda for life. This is where Dilshad comes in and tells him that your brain doesn't always make the right choices for your life and sometimes you can let go of all practicality and listen to what your heart is saying.

"She did everything for YOU...and look what you did you gave to her in return?"

This is what Asad wanted to hear. Zoya's convo with Ayan had made it all the more difficult for him. And now, these words from Dilshad...these were the last blow and the walls collapsed...

"If there was any other girl..she would've been least bothered about you sitting and sulking here on your bro's engagement day...but Zoya did all this for YOU"! Nothing more was needed after this. This was Zoya...Asad ki Zoya for him...and without wasting any time, Asad dashed out of the room...and the house.

Like I said he needed a reality check, he knew it all, he knew what she meant to him, what she did, how she felt, but wouldn't accept it. He was scared,if I make any sense, to face her after all that he had said to her or scared to face himself because of course he was wrong again and maybe his perfect character wasn't so perfect after all and Ms. Farooqui wasn't the one that was always wrong.

He drove crazily...to reach the airport. He couldn't let her go...he had to stop her!!! Obstacles in the path of love everywhere! That severe traffic jam made Asad leave the car in the middle of the road and run towards the airport.

He reached there...and dashed inside. Security people after him...but nothing could stop Asad now. His eyes searching for her...his heart looking for its counterpart...his soul yearning for its eternal mate. Asad ran and jumped through the area...over the luggage trollies...on the escalators...but no luck for him.

This shows that whatever he decides to do, he will do and only rest in peace when the task is done. Whether it is hating someone, loving someone, or making sure that they never leave him alone.

And then...he yelled her name...once! His voice having all the pain...and desparation...that resounded in the entire area. But it didn't reach her. She was no where in sight! He screamed again..."Zoyaaa"! This time louder...and the accompaying pain also multiplying in intensity now...and the screen froze!!!

This kind of reminded me of the Mangalpur incident when Zoya was buried and at that moment too, he had felt like she was gone because of him and now he had no way of rectifying his mistake. But destiny was, is and hopefully will be your side Jahapanah six packs.

Precap...Zoya's prince charming kneeling down in front of her n slipping ring in her finger. Dream fulfilled, Ms. Faruqui?!

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This post cannot be completed if I don't write about the actors. One of the most beautifully enacted episodes of QH. I never thought that I'll watch a KSG show...and that too...will become hopelessly addicted to it! Superbbb performace...it literally gave me goosebumps. It wasn't an easy episode...as in, there were a plethora of emotions that had to be protrayed...and then, that jumping and running around the airport...the epi was mainly about him. And he was bang on in every expression. The nuances that he added...they created all the more impact.

They were both equally good in their performances and their eyes moved me deeply. The sheer pain was so visible, the helplessness crying out to you, their hearts that were shattering with the moment, the pieces falling to the ground and then them trying to gather their broken heart all over again to see if it will mend once more. 👏

Ooof that was long well now I am done so let's see what happens tomorrow.