Today is Valentine's Day. Love is in the Air. Love is supposed to mature in marriage.
So, today's topic is marriage.
Journey of my Life and Marriage.
I was travelling from Delhi to Kolkata in Rajdhani Express,
in two tier AC coach.
My co-passenger was a decent looking young girl in her
early twenties.
It was about seventeen hours journey, so to avoid
boredom, I asked her about her education etc. Very soon,
we started chatting like old friends. She was Bengali, done
her Journalism course and currently trying to write
features as a freelancer.
When it was revealed that I have completed silver jubilee
of our marriage, she told that she is trying to do a feature
on arranged marriage versus love marriage. She asked for
my permission to interview me. Yes was my answer.
She : so you are married for twenty five years.
Me : yes.
She : Your realization ?
Me : After marriage, realized that, I was a free man before.
She : Anything else ?
Me : "married life" is an oxymoron.
She : Do you believe " marriage is made in heaven" ?
Me : Only if Heaven is full of Chinese people.
She : What is your feeling of arranged marriage ?
Me : I feel it like Eid for a goat. Treated and dressed like
prince, Fed with excellent food and then ----
She : when did you exactly felt that marriage is dangerous ?
Me : The moment I saw my bride in RED Benarasi saree.
THE RED SIGNAL.
She : OK. Describe your wife's view.
Me : According to her '
1. The most perfect man in the world is her father.
2. The most abused husband in the world is her brother.
3. The most handsome man in the world is her son.
4. The luckiest and happiest man in the world is her sister's husband.
5. The most thankful man in the world is her son in law.
6. And the worst, most selfish, heartless, total jerk and the man with worst behavior in the world is her husband.
She : Such is her feelings ?
Me : Yah. She says- I'm an idiot, I always have been an idiot, I'll
always be an idiot. If there is an idiot contest,
I'll come second.
She : Why second ?
Me : Because I am an idiot.
She : So there is no benefit of marriage ?
Me : There are many. Let me make a list-
1. Marriage is the best teacher of all.
2. It teaches you loyalty,
3. It teaches you forbearance,
4. It teaches you meekness,
5. It teaches you self restraint
6. It teaches you forgiveness
And great many other qualities, I would not have
needed, If I was single.
She : Do you think arranged marriages lasts longer than love marriages ?
Me : Hmmm. Love marriage. I think, it goes like this :
1. We are made for each other.
2. We are mad for each other.
3. We are maid for each other.
She : How married people pass their time ?
Me : Hmmm, we watch a lot of TV. My wife watches
"Punar-Vivah " But I want it for real.
She : You don't do any funny things like playing games ?
Me : Currently we are playing a game called " you to be
blamed ", very close game.
Right now she is leading by 1976-1.
She : What type of conversations you make ?
Me : She asks a lot of questions and as I start answering
them, she starts questioning the answers.
She : what are the important words in a marriage ?
Me : Hmmm, three words , " you are probably right ".
Whatever my wife says, my reply, " you are
probably right".
She : Don't your wife loves you ?
Me : Sure. She has given me many adjectives. Worthless,
insufferable, moron, Wretched etc.
She : How do you compare arranged marriage with love
marriage.
Me : Hmmm. Interesting question. Arranged marriage is like
building your own house. Once built, with minimum
maintenance, it will go for a long time.
Love marriage is like renting an apartment house. Like
renewing the lease, you have to say " I Love You "
everyday.
She : Now I have started understanding the beauty of
marriage. Please give some tips for those who are
not yet married.
Me : Ok.
1. Always Remember, a perfect husband is one who
apologies every time his wife makes a mistake.
2. Take your wife on holidays to different places of the
world, that will increase chances of her being lost. Go
mainly to Sea shores ' sharks are there ' probability
is more.
3. Don't waste your energy trying to make her laugh,
she'll make you a clown anyway.
4. Always carry a photo of your wife in your wallet.
Whenever in problem, look at the photo and think,
no problem is greater than this.
She : So, one should not marry ?
Me : I don't say so. I am a small fry. Many learned persons have their
theory of marriage :
Socrates : My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good
wife you will be happy. If not, you will be a
Philosopher, like me.
Oscar Wilde : Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of
hope over experiance.
Lisa Hoffman : Marriage is like pi, natural, irrational
and very important.
Clint Eastwood : They say marriages are made in heaven.
But so is thunder and Lightening.
Joey Adams : Marriage is give and take. you would better
give it to her or she will take it anyway.
Agatha Christie : Every woman should marry an archaeologist
because she grows increasingly attractive
to him as she grows increasingly to
resemble a ruin.
She : It's very nice and informative to chat with you. Within
few days, I am going to write the feature. If
needed, where can I reach you ?
Me : Keep this LSH's toll free number,
AK-1800-800-we-are-nu**
She : What is LSH ?
Me : Long Suffering Husband.
